Christian blogger says porn use is good for Christians

A Christian blogger is using the Bible as well as statistics and studies to challenge church leadership and secular leaders who oppose the production of or use of porn.  How could anyone in their right mind come up with such a crazy idea? Is it even worth it to read his so-called “evidence” from the Bible and other sources that porn use is not bad?

So who is this Christian blogger making these claims? Well that Christian blogger is me.

Since I started my blog about two and half years ago I have tackled many gender based subjects from a Biblical basis.  During that time while teaching on lust I have stated that I did not believe the Bible condemns the use of all forms of pornography and that some porn use is both Biblically acceptable and good to use.

But my statements on porn have opened up a lot of questions from my readers. I have tried referring my readers to other Christian sites that are completely dedicated to a positive Christian view of porn but I realized over this last year that I need to answer some of these difficult questions directly.

This is a huge topic and I did not want to release it in pieces but instead I wanted to release several articles all at once to answer what I think are the most common questions about porn from a Biblical perspective. This post will serve as the launching pad to several articles on porn that all connect together.

79 percent of men between the age of 18 and 30 look at porn

The fact I just cited is from a 2014 Barna Group survey reported by the Washington Times.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/aug/24/more-than-half-of-christian-men-admit-to-watching-/

The number of men looking at porn drops as men age so when you take middle age men (40s and 50s) and elderly men (60 and older) together the percentage of men of all ages looking at porn on a monthly basis is 64%. But still that is a pretty high number.  So basically three quarters of young men (18 to 30) look at porn on a monthly basis and two thirds of all men across all ages look at porn on a monthly basis.

And if you are wondering about if there is any difference between Christian men – these numbers were from Christian men. The numbers are basically the same between Christians and non-Christians on this issue.

I mention this fact before moving on to talking about the morality of porn use for two very important reasons:

  1. If you are a man and you look at porn you are not in a minority. You are not some weird pervert.  The vast majority of men are doing pretty much the same thing you are doing.
  2. If you are a wife there is a very high probability that your husband is looking at some type of porn on a monthly basis no matter what he tells you and no matter what you want to believe about him.

Just because most people do something does not make it right!

If you believe porn use is wicked and immoral you probably were just shouting the above statement after reading the stats I just showed and you know what? I agree with you.

Just because the vast majority of people do something does not make it right. In fact the vast majority of people could be engaging in a wrong type of behavior. I talk about this all the time on this blog.

But then we have to ask ourselves a question.  How do we know if an activity is wrong? Well for us as Christians there is one answer to this and that is we must measure our every thought, word and deed by the Bible.  The Bible is literally the Canon, the measure by which we must judge our lives. The word “sin” in the Bible literally means “to miss the mark”. So when we don’t do the good God calls us to do we miss the mark and when we do things God tells us not to do we miss the mark as well.

With this being said as an introduction to this highly controversial topic I would ask that you read each of the related articles below in the order they appear as each one builds on principles established in previous articles.

One other thing I want to mention – these articles are primarily written to men in regard to their porn use but I do believe that Christian women can learn a lot from these articles.

10 common arguments against porn

How does watching porn and masturbating glorify God?

Societies that allow porn experience a large reduction in sex crimes

Porn use is “a way to escape” the temptation of extra-marital sex

The production of amateur porn can actually be a ministry and be honoring to God

How to talk to your teens about porn

Should you tell your girlfriend or wife you look at porn?

57 thoughts on “Christian blogger says porn use is good for Christians

  1. I’ve known of this article for a little bit and actually agreed with what it had to said, but porn still makes me feel guilty after. Not like it used to but it still doesn’t feel right. If this is my conscience why would it make me feel this way?

  2. Jason,

    The reason you still feel guilt is because you have been conditioned your entire life, since you first found out about sex, to believe that looking at porn is wrong. We are conditioned both from the Christian world and parts of the secular world to be taught it is evil for men to enjoy porn. The Christian world teaches a false definition of lust and makes us feel that mere sexual desire is sinful, rather than the desire to actually fornicate with a woman which the Bible condemns. The Churches condemn a man for experiancing any sexual pleasure whatsovever, even by himself, outside of the marriage bed with his wife while the Bible only condemns whoremongering and adultery or the desire to commit whoremongering or adultery which is what lust is.

    Then we have the part of the secular world that joins forces with the churches in condemning men for enjoying porn. They condemn it based on the so called “sexual objectification of women”. This really is silly, because it condemns a fact of nature. Women are objects, just like men are, as objects are “something material that may be perceived by the senses” according to Webster’s dictionary. What they are trying to say is men are treating women like “inanimate objects” but this is not the case. Men are designed to take pleasure from the female form and to desire to touch see it, touch it, and enjoy being with a woman sexually. It is one of our core driving forces. This programming cannot be undone either by false Church teachings or feminist teachings about men not objectifying women. It is hardwired programming.

    Now can we be taught to control this powerful driving force? Of course and God teaches us that we must exercise our sexuality only in lawful ways. We may only have sex with women in covenant of marriage. But this does not mean we have to completely suppress our sexuality until marriage and to do so is futile and can lead us down wrong paths. Instead we exercise our sexuality before marriage in a way that does not violate God’s law through the use of sexual fantasy and masturbation. And porn is simply a tool to assist in this exercise.

    But the reason you feel guilt – is because of all these forces around you telling you that it is bad to view porn. You have the churches, feminists and even the “no fappers” all telling you how bad it is. Can you overdo looking at porn and masturbating? Absolutely. Anything can be used too much and then it become addictive and destructive behavior. For some men they cannot do this in moderation. So like some former alchohalics, they condemn drinking for all people, rather than simply for themselves because they cannot control themselves.

    It will take time to undo the mental conditioning you have undergone for years telling you that all porn use and masturbation is wrong. But I promise if you continue to go back to the Scriptures I present regarding these subjects, your guilt will dissipate over time.

  3. This post is about men looking at porn, what about women? We are visual creatures too and use porn as one outlet for our sexuality just like men. To say women don’t look at porn is shoving our sexuality under the rug. Do I look at the issue the same way as a man? Is there is difference?

  4. Steph,

    I believe the same principles would apply to women as well as far as an allowance for them to look at certain types of porn for sexual release. I think though, and studies show this, that a much smaller percentage of women regularly look at porn than men who regularly look at porn. And the reason for that is that for most women, the sexual nature is more relationally and emotionally based, that pure physically based like a man’s nature is.

    I always give the following example which illustrates that stark difference between the male and female sexual natures:

    1. Man walks into room, woman he has never met before laying naked in bed invites him to have sex with her.
    90% of men would be tempted to drop their clothes right there and have sex with that woman.

    2. Woman walks into room, sees man she has never met before laying naked in bed invites her to have sex with him.
    90% of women would run of out the room screaming.

    And now a variant of this scenario for married couples:

    1. Wife speaks disrespectfully to husband making him angry. He storms off. Husband comes back a few minutes to find his wife naked in bed inviting him to have sex with her.
    90% of husbands would go for sex with her in that moment. For most men their anger would instantly go away. But even if their anger did not go away, a man can easily have sex with his wife when he is not pleased with her. Because men separate the emotional from the physical.

    2. Man says something which hurts his wife’s feelings. The wife storms off. The wife comes back a few minutes later to find her husband naked in bed inviting her to have sex with him.
    99% of women would be completely turned off to a invitation to sex from their husband under these circumstances. Why? Because when it comes to sex(and most other areas of life) women have great difficulty separating the emotional from the physical.

    So again yes women can look at porn, but I would never tell any woman that her sexuality is the same as mans or is just a physically oriented. Such a concept is that men and women have the same sexual natures is easily demonstrably false.

  5. Porn for women is marketed as Romance Literature. Women generally prefer the emotional titillations of stories over visuals. The more erotic romance genre including bdsm is a rapidly growing market. Where men are generally more concrete and functional as their default mode of thinking, women tend toward emotional and relational thoughts. Perhaps this is because women historically have survived by the safety of the herd. Their relationship to the herd is critical in their ability to pass on their DNA. Men have survived by fighting, hunting and pass their DNA on by sex. A man’s choice of sexual partner is more determined by availability than by emotional ties. Biologically he can sire hundreds of offspring and play the odds for their survival. But a woman is vulnerable during pregnancy and the nurturing years of child raising. Survival depends first on a man who is capable of defending the household and on dependability, ie he won’t run off leaving her undefended. She is dependent on him and failing that, ie she is widowed she is dependent on the tribe. Thus her vetting process for a man is so much more than availability. Strength, (physical, financial, social) and reliability are the ingredients of her dream lover. Even his prowess as a lover takes a backseat to these other prerequisites, after all she need not orgasm to reproduce, where he must. So romance literature involving strong dominant men, usually rich and handsome, who fight to posses her and are not tempted to trade up make up her porn. Sometimes a dominant “bad boy” might be the hero of her fantasy, but never a plain sensible accountant.

    The bdsm genre is fascinating because in some ways it is a sexual picture of a woman submitting to a dominant man. A man who posses her, cares for her and cherishes her in sexually challenging ways. The pain becomes pleasure because if absolute trust and the submissive finds fulfillment and purpose in submission. While the dominant takes singular focus on his submissive’s care. In many ways it is a better picture of Christ and the church than what the post-feminist church provides. I realize that folks get squeamish at the mere mention of such things, but the growing market indicates an unmet need in psyche of women. 50 shades was an epic best seller, ironically because sexuality has been so perverted by the church.

  6. I do agree with what you are saying in terms of how men and women view sex differently. I consider myself to be a traditional woman in every way. At the same time, there is a large part of me that many times just wants to have a quick orgasm. No need for romance, etc. I don’t heat up like a crock pot, I’m a microwave in that sense. It’s not connected to needing to be with my husband (or anybody else, I would never). It’s about needing that quick physical release then going about my business. I know I’m not alone. I don’t feel odd about it either or guilty. I just don’t know if a husband has the right to be upset with a wife who watches porn, just like the wife should almost expect her husband to watch it and as long as it doesn’t take away from their sexual relationship, be ok with it. I know my husband watches occasionally and I have no qualms because I understand it’s about the release, not a replacement for me. He feels the same way about me. I struggle with the porn issue I don’t think I should do it. Many women do look at porn they don’t like to admit it.

  7. Steph,

    I don’t deny that some women like you may enjoy looking at porn. But I think it is a small minority. And that is OK – if you are really physically based woman who is more visually and physically oriented and just want to have sex with your husband no matter what your mood or feelings about him – great! But you must also accept that you are in the minority of women in how your sexual nature operates.

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