Christian blogger says porn use is good for Christians

A Christian blogger is using the Bible as well as statistics and studies to challenge church leadership and secular leaders who oppose the production of or use of porn.  How could anyone in their right mind come up with such a crazy idea? Is it even worth it to read his so-called “evidence” from the Bible and other sources that porn use is not bad?

So who is this Christian blogger making these claims? Well that Christian blogger is me.

Since I started my blog about two and half years ago I have tackled many gender based subjects from a Biblical basis.  During that time while teaching on lust I have stated that I did not believe the Bible condemns the use of all forms of pornography and that some porn use is both Biblically acceptable and good to use.

But my statements on porn have opened up a lot of questions from my readers. I have tried referring my readers to other Christian sites that are completely dedicated to a positive Christian view of porn but I realized over this last year that I need to answer some of these difficult questions directly.

This is a huge topic and I did not want to release it in pieces but instead I wanted to release several articles all at once to answer what I think are the most common questions about porn from a Biblical perspective. This post will serve as the launching pad to several articles on porn that all connect together.

79 percent of men between the age of 18 and 30 look at porn

The fact I just cited is from a 2014 Barna Group survey reported by the Washington Times.

http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2014/aug/24/more-than-half-of-christian-men-admit-to-watching-/

The number of men looking at porn drops as men age so when you take middle age men (40s and 50s) and elderly men (60 and older) together the percentage of men of all ages looking at porn on a monthly basis is 64%. But still that is a pretty high number.  So basically three quarters of young men (18 to 30) look at porn on a monthly basis and two thirds of all men across all ages look at porn on a monthly basis.

And if you are wondering about if there is any difference between Christian men – these numbers were from Christian men. The numbers are basically the same between Christians and non-Christians on this issue.

I mention this fact before moving on to talking about the morality of porn use for two very important reasons:

  1. If you are a man and you look at porn you are not in a minority. You are not some weird pervert.  The vast majority of men are doing pretty much the same thing you are doing.
  2. If you are a wife there is a very high probability that your husband is looking at some type of porn on a monthly basis no matter what he tells you and no matter what you want to believe about him.

Just because most people do something does not make it right!

If you believe porn use is wicked and immoral you probably were just shouting the above statement after reading the stats I just showed and you know what? I agree with you.

Just because the vast majority of people do something does not make it right. In fact the vast majority of people could be engaging in a wrong type of behavior. I talk about this all the time on this blog.

But then we have to ask ourselves a question.  How do we know if an activity is wrong? Well for us as Christians there is one answer to this and that is we must measure our every thought, word and deed by the Bible.  The Bible is literally the Canon, the measure by which we must judge our lives. The word “sin” in the Bible literally means “to miss the mark”. So when we don’t do the good God calls us to do we miss the mark and when we do things God tells us not to do we miss the mark as well.

With this being said as an introduction to this highly controversial topic I would ask that you read each of the related articles below in the order they appear as each one builds on principles established in previous articles.

One other thing I want to mention – these articles are primarily written to men in regard to their porn use but I do believe that Christian women can learn a lot from these articles.

10 common arguments against porn

Societies that allow porn experience a large reduction in sex crimes

Porn use is “a way to escape” the temptation of extra-marital sex

The production of amateur porn can actually be a ministry and be honoring to God

How to talk to your teens about porn

Should you tell your girlfriend or wife you look at porn?

46 thoughts on “Christian blogger says porn use is good for Christians

  1. I agree with you on this one so far. Still reading.

    One addition to your rebuttal of the Matthew 5:27-28

    “You have heard that it was said, ‘ Do not commit adultery .’ But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to desire her has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”

    So as you may already know, “woman” and “wife” are the same words in both Hebrew and Aramaic/Greek. So the usage is entirely contextual. Usually, we can tell the difference between “woman,” “concubine,” and “wife” because the woman will just say woman, concubine will say “to woman” as in “he took her to woman,” sort of as a verb. And “wife” will say “woman of him” as in “he took her to be his woman of him.”

    Interestingly, Eve is referred to as a “to woman” in Genesis. But that’s besides the point. Here, the text just states “whoever looks at a woman,” but I argue that the way Jesus’ audience would have understood this would be as “wife.” Why? Because Jesus is talking about adultery, not lust, and you can’t commit adultery with an unmarried woman. So the text should really say:

    “But I say to you that whoever looks at another man’s wife to lust after her…”

    So Jesus is only prohibiting adulterous lust specifically. What’s more, you have to consider the circumstances that he is saying this in: if a man were to lust after a specific woman in his community, he would have to look through her window as she had sex with her husband, or follow her to the river when she bathed, or just generally obsess over someone in his small community. This is a HUGE precursor to adultery. So I argue that what Jesus was really talking about wasn’t all kinds of lust, but just adulterous lust with real women with whom you have contact with in your community. And the next verse, “cutting off your right hand,” heavily implies masturbation.

    It’s very practical advice. “If you don’t want to commit adultery, then stop wanking to other men’s wives!”

    It doesn’t mean that one can’t derive sexual pleasure from their figures, but if you have temptation to ACTUALLY have sex with them, then it’s time to cut yourself off from using them as wanking material.

    Now secondarily, I wanted to dispute one thing you mentioned in your 10 common arguments against porn article: it is sinful to take pleasure in homosexual sex or orgies.

    Specifically I am talking about lesbians. I have reason to believe that the reason there isn’t an explicit ban against female homosexuality in the Old Testament is because they didn’t WANT a ban on lesbian sex. Why? Because they wanted to be able to have threesomes. And I believe God designed women to be more sexually fluid to do just that.

    Polygamy wasn’t banned, as you know. So take a look at this verse:

    You must not have sexual intercourse with both a woman and her daughter; you must not take as wife either her son’s daughter or her daughter’s daughter to have intercourse with them. They are closely related to her – it is lewdness.
    Leviticus 18:17 NET

    Note the implications of a threesome here. 1) Though this could just be referring to sequential sex, ie sex with mom then with daughter later, it doesn’t specify and so I believe it is meant to ban both concurrent and non-concurrent sex. 2) there isn’t a single prohibition against concurrent sex with any amount of wives in the Bible! As long as they aren’t related you’re fine.

    Solomon had 1000 wives and concubines in his harem. He says himself that he sought after every pleasure in the world. Since there’s “nothing new under the sun,” I think you’d be hard pressed to come up with a good reason why threesomes or even orgies weren’t included in those pleasures.

    So threesomes, or even orgies with one man are theoretically not always sinful, and thus one is allowed to take pleasure in them.

    What about just women on women? I argue that this too is protected. Statistically speaking, of Solomon’s 1000 wives, some of them would have identified more strongly as lesbians or bisexual. Surely they would occasionally pleasure each other when Solomon wasn’t around. Would this be considered adultery? Not under Jewish law, no. Women could commit adultery only with men. What about homosexuality? Nope! Those laws specifically applied only to men, and I argue that this is no mistake, considering that bestiality laws specify both men and women. What’s more, I don’t believe the ancient Hebrews would have even considered lesbian sex to be sex at all! The ancient Greco-Romans were baffled by the women from Lesbos who claimed to have sex because the common belief was that in order to have sex, you had to penetrate one another. Everything else was just a fancy massage.

    What’s more, even in the New Testament, Paul uses different wording for male and female illicit sexual behavior

    For this reason God gave them over to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged the natural sexual relations for unnatural ones, and likewise the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed in their passions for one another. Men committed shameless acts with men and received in themselves the due penalty for their error.
    Romans 1:26‭-‬27 NET

    Notice that for men, Paul specifically calls out male on male sex. Yet for women, he only calls out “unnatural relations.” Many assume this means homosexuality, but it could just as well mean bestiality! After all, the Greco-Romans had rituals where women would mate with bulls and horses. Considering the lack of a prohibition on female homosexuality anywhere in the Bible, I argue that this is no coincidence, and so bestiality seems more harmony with the rest of Scriptures in this case.

    So, with regards to lesbian sex, I argue that it falls within protected pornographic usage.

  2. I have read over and agreed with nearly all of your posts regarding pornography, but I would say, and you likely have as well, that OVER USE of pornographic material is detrimental to one, just as over use of anything can have a negative effect. Unfortunately the church is guilty of pushing men into excessive porn use as much as the media is. If you don’t mind, I made small post with my thoughts on this some time ago:

    https://rgdev.wordpress.com/2016/08/23/feminists-the-church-and-the-new-drug/

  3. jcromeskk,

    On the subject of lesbian sex – even if Roman 1:26’s “unnatural” does not specify woman on woman sex Hebrews 13:4 does prohibit lesbian sex:

    “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers[Pornos – literally fornicators] and adulterers God will judge.”

    The only sexual relations that God considers honorable and pure are between those are who are married. Does God allow women to marry women? No. God only allows men and women to marry. God considers all sexual relations outside of marriage to be fornication. This goes far beyond penetration as sexual relations can occur simply by sexual touch or even virtually through the use of web cams and phones with people masturbating in coordination with each other.

  4. I have a question for this blog, not too sure if it’s appropriate but I’ll give it a shot
    I think we’re all in agreement here that the only kind of sexual Intercourse that God approves of is between married couples…..so my question is how does 1 GET MARRIED?
    Believe it or not the scriptures are completely silent on the “how to” aspect of marriage, instead it’s primary focus is on “if you are married”
    A lot of Christians would consider Isaac taking Rebekah into his tent and having sex with her as him committing fornication…..there was NO marriage ceremony, no witnesses, no wedding, no celebrant and NO marriage certificate….yet in God’s eyes they committed NO sin…..how is this any different than a couple today in a mutually consensual relationship, even though they are not formally recognized by the state? No matter how much we try to wriggle ourselves around that clear example in the bible, and many others like it, Christians today only consider those truly married who get a marriage licence or a priest or justice of the peace to marry them, yet they base that upon NO scripture verses at all because there is no bike verses that support modern day marriage
    I believe that any couple today in a mutually consensual monogamous relationship with or without the paper to prove it are already married whether they see it or not. ….our final authority in what governs our beliefs INCLUDING MARRIAGE must be the bible or we haven’t got a leg to stand on and there’s not 1 verse in the entire bible that supports the modern western idea of marriage, YUP NOT 1 VERSE…..so my question is why are condemning hundreds of thousands of couples to eternal damnation by accusing them of committing pre marital sex, i.e fornication when they’re not committing it at all, they are actually married

  5. shredifier,

    Actually you and I are probably in about 80% agreement on this. The Bible does not say we have to have a judge or a priest or a pastor to marry us. Those are just made up traditions. I wrote a post addressing this issue a little while ago called “Does the Bible condemn premarital sex and pre-wedding sex?” and you can read the entire post here:
    https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2016/04/13/does-the-bible-condemn-premarital-sex-and-pre-wedding-sex/

    What I basically said is that neither the government, nor the church have authority to give in marriage or regulate how marriage will occur. God has given the authority of marriage and the authority to enter into marriage to the family. This means a man can go and choose his bride and the only authority he must seek is the woman’s father. I listed 5 Biblical principles about entering into marriage:

    5 principles we learn from Biblical methods of entering into marriage

    1. A man may not marry a woman without seeking her father’s consent if he is still alive unless the woman is a widow or divorced.
    2. A woman may not consent to marriage without her father’s approval unless her father is dead, she is a widow or she is divorced.
    3. Based upon the 2 previously proven principles of God’s moral law sex by itself DOES NOT constitute marriage. So it is possible to have premarital sex which is a clear violation of Hebrews 13:4 where God says the only sexual relations he honors is between a man and woman in marriage.
    4. A father may force his daughter to marry a man without her consent based on his headship over her.
    5. Men may force women to marry them when they are captured during war. Again this is not something we are required to do by the Scriptures – it is only an allowance to do so.

    I said this about a man and woman marrying before God and before their wedding:

    “So what this means is it would be perfectly Biblical if a man sought and received the consent of a woman’s father for marriage if the couple felt they could not wait for the wedding for them to enter into a covenant of marriage before God privately and then have sex BEFORE THE WEDDING.”

    So you and I are close but not exactly on the same page. A man and woman living together and having sex does not constitute marriage Biblically speaking as a father could override his daughter running of with some guy who says he wants to marry his daughter. She must either not have a father whose authority she is under, or be widowed or divorced to make a decision of marriage on her own.

    In either case once proper family authority has been given the couple may make their own private commitment of of marriage before God before it is considered marriage. It could be as easy as “I take you as my husband before God and I take you as my wife before God.” and no witnesses need to be present.

    On the issue of eternal damnation – people don’t go to hell for having pre-marital sex, they go to hell because of sin in general. One lie will damn a person to hell. But when we place our faith and trust in Christ he forgives all our sins past, present and future. Christians do not go to hell, even for premarital sex. Contrary to the Catholic churches teaching there are not mortal sins and venial sins. All sins send us to hell without Christ. That does not mean that some sins are not more heinous to God because the Bible tells us there are. But from a salvation perspective sin is sin.

  6. @Shredefier,

    Tacking onto what BGR said about marriage vs. weddings… contrary to what many people may believe, Christian marriages were purely a family matter for centuries in the early church! Most church fathers believed that the Bible showed that it was enough for a man and a woman to agree to marry and then have sex. So, basically, their interpretation of the Isaac and Rebekah story is that the two of them had their fathers’ approval, agreed to marry one another, and then had sex. And it’s easy to see why they interpreted the story this way because, well, that’s what happened in the story. The main conflicts were actually over to what degree parental consent played a role in the validity of a marriage and whether or not parents could force an unwilling bride or groom to consent to a wedding. (Practically, of course, the answer would be “yes” because nearly all single women and most young men relied on their parents or other relatives for income, but there was a serious canonical debate on the matter.)

    More formalized weddings and procedures (like blessings in a church, witnesses, and marriage certificates) initially only came about so that the marriage could be proven to mankind, not to God. (Naturally, God would know if a couple had exchanged vows and then had sex, regardless of what anyone claimed later.) Plus, parents and the government and the Church alike all wanted to prevent elopements by making marriages performed without certain procedures invalid before the law.

  7. BGR

    Thanks for the reply!
    It was a good answer, much appreciated my friend…..the only issue I would have with it is 1: modern western society has been so overwhelmed with Feminism that no woman over 21 would even dream of getting her father’s consent for the partners she chooses. …she would find that degrading and sexist and 2: you will find that most father’s after seeing the man his daughter brings home would give consent and approval to him anyway….after all, must keep daughter happy lol…..this would mean there’s literally thousands if not hundreds of thousands in committed relationships or cohabitation together who gave their fathers approval YET are not legally married nor would they seek it, this state of affairs kind of proves my earlier contention that pastors and teachers who thunder from the pulpit at all the couples committing fornication because they see these people as without marriage certificates or a ring on their fingers are actually dead wrong in condemning them!
    And these so called “sinning couples” have a clear mandate based on Isaac and Rebekah’s marriage that they are NOT sinning or committing fornication
    It’s certainly an interesting topic BGR 😊

  8. shredifier,

    On the issue women getting their father’s consent you know based on my other writings that I would find that irrelevant but I would agree at the end of the day most fathers if there was a lot of push back would agree to the marriage.

    An interesting personal note – my paternal grandfather secretly married my grandmother because she refused to have sex with him until he did. He had to go and get my great grand father’s approval for the marriage after the fact.

    I think though that if we agree that a marriage can occur between a couple without a marriage license, judge, pastor, priest or witnesses we must also agree that breaking the marriage bond should be considered as serious as a couple with a marriage license right?

    So my problem is not with people entering into non-state sanctioned marriages but rather with people believing that since they don’t have a marriage certificate from the state they can easily walk away from such a common-law marriage situation. There are some studies that say if we considered how many long term cohabiting couples broke up as marriages that divorce rates would be far higher than the 50% that legal marriages are today.

    Issac and Rebekah did not have a marriage certificate as did most married couples for the history of mankind. But they were not just a man and woman living together, they considered one another as man and wife.

    It is interesting to point out even in New Testament times a man could still have mistress, a woman he lived with and cohabited with having sex with her and she was not considered his wife. The Greek word that we translate as “dwell with” from I Peter 3:7 actually means a man living with his mistress or wife and there was a difference.

    The difference between a wife and a mistress was that she was publicly acknowledged as his wife and this meant her children would have inheritance rights from this man.

    So I say all this to say if you are a couple living together and you both are afraid of the “m” word and commitment and your arrangement is an “open one” then you really don’t have a marriage. You are just two people fornicating with each other. But if you have taken one another as spouses even if privately and see your relationship as marriage then it is just that.

    Now there may be times and situations where a marriage must be kept secret and not publicly acknowledged to the world. One example of this would be polygamous marriages. If you as a man have a second or third wife, or you are a second or third wife and you must keep this relationship secret because of persecution from culture and secular governments over polygamy than I agree with this.

  9. My 2 cents on marriage formation:

    Marriage is a covenant relationship with vows made to God. While it is mainly the concern of the family jurisdiction, it also involves the coalescing of property so is in part the jurisdiction of the state (I agree the state can only recognize a marriage not sanction one), , and because spiritual headship is transferred from father to husband the church has a small part in it jurisdiction as well, recognizing that a new covenant family has been formed.

    The problems with living together or the “common law” marriage shacking IMO are as follows: It does violence to the father’s headship and dishonors him as the one who safe guards his daughters purity (ie it is anti-patriarchal), it makes property ownership nebulous and assumes an egalitarian view of property, the children are born as bastards and not of the covenant, it grants a woman rights to her own body that she does not Biblically posses, (1 Cor 6:20), it is an arrangement that is easily broken (not that divorce laws do not allow marriage vows to be easily broken, but two abominations do not make it right), a woman forfeits the complete protection of a husband for “love” or financial gain and is little more than a harlot who trades sex for a better life (yes divorcing women do this too ), she/they is/are not exhibiting the covenant of Christ and the church but rather an arrangement of convenience, Christ himself blessed a wedding and the book of Hebrews says that the marriage bed is undefiled not the shacker’s bed.

    Modern marriage has been defiled from every direction, still as much as we are able, a Christian should by the grace of God attempt to live according to the blueprints of scripture even if the whole world will not. We were not promised a life of comfort and happiness, but one of grace and joy if we will but fear God.

  10. I think your Biblical justification of porn is tenuous at best, but I’ll let others go toe-to-toe with you citing Biblical passages. (Surely you must know how controversial your view is, and how absurd it will seem to most Christians.)

    I do however have several personal, non-biblical, common-sense reasons why porn is wrong (for me) to use.

    1. Porn induced erectile dysfunction.
    2. It’s an addiction. Even if something is good, if I can’t stop using it when want to, I would not call that helpful. I may be free to use porn, but I’m not free to stop using it.
    3. Was a gateway to more perverted forms of porn. When you go looking for any kind of porn, you will come across the worse forms of it. Just look at the thumbnails to the right of the video you’re watching to see what I mean.
    4. It warps the mind. When I don’t use porn, I stand taller, I speak louder, and I’m more confident. I’m more social and I can look people in the eye. When I’ve recently used porn I feel ashamed to be with people. Which brings me to…
    5. The shame. Where did this come from? Was I taught it? I think not. I think instinctively we know porn is wrong and shameful.
    6. It is shocking. Think about the first time you saw porn. It was actually shocking. Yes, it was also arousing, but primarily shocking. When I first saw it, I had a strong, knee-jerk reaction to get out of there and run away. Of course curiosity brought me back, and here I am today, still struggling.
    7. It’s not a good and helpful hobby. It doesn’t produce anything or develop your mind. Releasing built up semen is healthy, but overindulgence is not, and it drains your energy and motivation. We’ve all heard stories of people who compulsively masturbate multiple times a day for hours on end. I am those stories.
    8. What about the thousands of Christian churches that denounce it? What about the non-Christian groups that denounce it? The online communities dedicated to eradicating it from their lives? Reddit.com/r/NoFap is one that comes to mind.

    Finally, allow me to quote Romans 14:13-23
    13 Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother. 14 I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. 15 For if your brother is grieved by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love. By what you eat, do not destroy the one for whom Christ died. 16 So do not let what you regard as good be spoken of as evil. 17 For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit. 18 Whoever thus serves Christ is acceptable to God and approved by men. 19 So then let us pursue what makes for peace and for mutual upbuilding.
    20 Do not, for the sake of food, destroy the work of God. Everything is indeed clean, but it is wrong for anyone to make another stumble by what he eats. 21 It is good not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything that causes your brother to stumble. 22 The faith that you have, keep between yourself and God. Blessed is the one who has no reason to pass judgment on himself for what he approves. 23 But whoever has doubts is condemned if he eats, because the eating is not from faith. For whatever does not proceed from faith is sin.

  11. Anon,
    Thank you for supplying then list you did. And I think you are right that there really are two angles we can come at porn from – the theological side and the “common sense” or experiential side of it which you have covered well.

    I think what you have supplied could be a great teaching tool for others even if you may not agree with my responses to your list. I am going to address your list over several comments so things don’t get lost.

    1. Porn induced erectile dysfunction.

    Porn being linked to erections problems is not backed up by science:
    “Two recent studies have been published by researchers who examined whether there truly is a potential epidemic of porn related erectile dysfunction. Prause and Pfaus published this study in Sexual Medicine, finding that porn use did not predict sexual dysfunction, but instead, predicted higher levels of sexual responsiveness…

    These two studies actually address the frequent complaints by those who cry out that there’s no evidence that porn causes E.D. simpoly becase there’s been no study of erectile dysfunction, which considers the high levels of Internet porn use among young men today. Now, there are two studies, both conducted independently, by respected researchers. And neither find any evidence to support this myth. Alas, I’m sure that rather than accept these data and findings, true believers will find ways to discount this evidence, and remain committed to the belief that porn “broke their penises.”
    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201308/erectile-dysfunction-myth

    It is not to deny that ED exists – that article goes into several reasons why men, even young men, may experience ED and sometimes it is physical but other times it is psychosomatic ED in the same way the source of many women’s Vaginitis can be psychosomatic. Basically if you believe porn will cause you to have ED or if for any reason you are afraid of getting ED you can actually cause yourself to have ED.

    But there is another side ED when it comes to porn viewing. If you are compulsively looking at porn all the time and compulsively masturbating several times a day then sure you may reach a point where you get ED because of how often you are doing it. But that is not different than compulsive eating causing people to loose their appetite – if you over do something it may have negative effects.

    But the fact remains that watching porn in and of itself does not cause ED any more than eating in and of itself causes problems with eating and appetite. It is the compulsive abuse of these things that may cause issues.

  12. Anon,

    Continuing on with your list of common sense objections to porn:

    2. It’s an addiction. Even if something is good, if I can’t stop using it when want to, I would not call that helpful. I may be free to use porn, but I’m not free to stop using it.

    Actually compulsive watching of porn is not an addiction contrary to assertions of the worldwide “addiction” industries.

    “Self-labeled sex addicts often speak about their identities very clinically, as if they’re paralyzed by a scientific condition that functions the same way as drug and alcohol addiction. But sex and porn “addiction” are NOT the same as alcoholism or a cocaine habit. In fact, hypersexuality and porn obsessions are not addictions at all. They’re not included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM), and by definition, they don’t constitute what most researchers understand to be addiction.

    Here’s why: addicts withdraw. When you lock a dope fiend in a room without any dope, the lack of drugs will cause an immediate physiological response — some of which is visible, some of which we can only track from within the body. During withdrawal, the brains of addicts create junctions between nerve cells containing the neurotransmitter GABA. This process more or less inhibits the brain systems usually excited by drug-related cues — something we never see in the brains of so-called sex and porn addicts.”

    So no if you have a habit of watching porn more often than you should it might be a compulsive behavior, but medically speaking it is not an addiction.

    https://melmagazine.com/trust-a-scientist-sex-addiction-is-a-myth-76014c4b14eb#.kb44c9d2o

    And even from the compulsion side I could substitute video game playing compulsion into your statement and it would be just as true:

    2. It’s an addiction. Even if something is good, if I can’t stop using it when want to, I would not call that helpful. I may be free to play video games, but I’m not free to stop using it.

    Trust me I personally know of some young Christian men – even married ones that care more about playing video games than having sex with their wives or watching porn. They get home from work and that is all they do till they go to bed. Anything good can be abused by compulsive behavior. But that does not make playing video games wrong, it only makes excessive and compulsive use of playing video games wrong.

  13. 1. Porn doesn’t cause erectile dysfunction, but excessive masturbation can certainly cause issues with getting the equipment to work if your mind requires a certain level of stimuli to get aroused.

    2. It CAN be an addiction, much like anything can. I drink occasionally, but its not an addiction – for me. Some people can’t handle alcohol and for them it WOULD be an addiction. In like manner a couple could use occasional adult material to enhance their sex life, but should not become dependent upon it. Also, as I said in my own blog post, when the church presses women into waiting for marriage until they hit their late twenties – early thirties, and then tell men they cannot have sex until they are married they are CREATING an addiction. Men have to wait 10+ years to get married and their only sexual outlet becomes pornography and masturbation. For ten years. No wonder they get “addicted” to porn, its all they know.

    3. Yes porn can be a gateway to more vile porn, but I would venture to say not if it is used appropriately, as an occasional device and not as a sole means of sexual release. Also it is up to us to limit ourselves in our consumption of anything. Again, I drink alcohol on occasion but avoid certain ones that contain herbs or ingredients that could induce hallucinations or euphoria. Also if I am drinking at a public place like a restaurant I limit my intake so as not to become inebriated.

    4. Again, excessive usage of a lot of things will warp the mind. It boils down to how it is used and personal responsibility.

    5. I would say that likely, yes, the shame was taught, though boys initially know that seeing a nude woman is, not really taboo, but out of the norm. When a young boy sees a nude painting he doesn’t feel shame, but he will laugh and point. Older boys may become aroused, and feel shame perhaps at the effect it has on their bodies, which is quite noticeable. I would venture to say, though, that if kept in privacy most men would NOT feel shame unless they had been told to.

    6. Of course it’s shocking – its sex. Until the creation of pornography most people wouldn’t ever see people having sex unless they were there in person. Though it’s a natural function one doesn’t normally get to see a third person view of the act. I don’t know if I would even call it a “shock” in the sense you are referring to it as.

    7. If porn is your “hobby” then I would agree, it is not at all good or healthy. Excessive masturbation can have detrimental effects on the mind and body and hammering your brain with a constant stream of pornographic images will make the sight of a normal, naked woman seem tame, which will cause equipment issues. Again, some people are not able to handle such things and SHOULDN’T. “I have the right to do anything,” you say—but not everything is beneficial. “I have the right to do anything”—but I will not be mastered by anything.

    8. I think given the documentation and cross reference to scripture that BGR has done it can be shown that adult material is not strictly forbidden in scripture. Heck, Song of Solomon is quite literally erotica. Every piece of information I have read on the book indicates that young men were forbidden to read it until they came of age because of the sexual imagery used within. Some people say “well its not a portrait of a man and woman, but a portrait of God and his people” – even so, that’s a pretty sexy portrait, no matter what its about. That churches teach it is forbidden is to heap unnecessary shame on its men (as most women’s “porn” is overlooked). Much like churches that teach ANY consumption of alcohol is a sin, despite the drinking of wine throughout the bible. Being a drunkard is a sin, which requires repeatedly drinking excessive alcohol, making it a habit of being drunk. I would say the same thing about drugs or pornography. We all take drugs that are beneficial for us without a second thought, with full knowledge that excessive dosage can be detrimental to our bodies, all while avoiding those drugs that can do us immediate harm. No one bats an eye at that because getting a morphine drip for pain in the hospital is good and sometimes necessary. Taking a morphine drip every day and being stoned out of your mind is bad. Bad for your body, bad for your mind and, rightly so, looked down upon.

    As BGR has said, its the intent of the heart, and the heart can have evil or bad intent over just about anything.

  14. If we are going to condemn everything that causes ED, we should probably start with wives who are miserly with love and who have let themselves go. Fat and contentious will keep the erection away better than just about anything. I bet the rate of ED among porn users and non-porn users is the same when sorted for age, health and other external factors.

    More to the point, porn is blamed for ED and then blamed for excessive erections – which is it? Is porn bad because it may or may not cause an erection? Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy getting an erection, but the blood-flow to my sexual organ is hardly an ethical standard, although in many church’s the arousal of a woman is akin to the work of the spirit and a trustworthy guide.

  15. Anon,

    Continuing on with your list of common sense objections to porn:

    3. Was a gateway to more perverted forms of porn. When you go looking for any kind of porn, you will come across the worse forms of it. Just look at the thumbnails to the right of the video you’re watching to see what I mean…

    5. The shame. Where did this come from? Was I taught it? I think not. I think instinctively we know porn is wrong and shameful.

    I wanted to address your points 3 and 5 together as I think they are very much related. The reason that some men(not all) go from watching the vanilla porn(just a normal man and woman having sex) to actually perverted forms of porn(like homosexual, orgies and bestiality, and sometimes child porn) are for a couple of different reasons.

    “Porn can affect people, but it does not take them over or override their values. If someone watches porn showing something they find distasteful, it has no impact on their behavior or desires. But, if someone watches porn depicting acts that they, the watcher, are neutral about, then it does make it slightly more likely that they express interest in trying that act themselves. Take anal sex for instance. If a porn viewer finds it disgusting, watching anal pornography isn’t going to change that. But, if they are neutral on it, then watching anal porn probably will slightly increase the chance that I would be willing to at least give it a try. But, there is the crux of the issue—the people who gravitate towards unhealthy, violent porn, are people who already have a disposition towards violence. So—the problem is not in the porn, but in those people.”

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/women-who-stray/201305/porn-is-not-the-problem-you-are

    The point he is making is that if you gravitate toward strange and perverted acts as you look at porn – it is because it was already in you to do that. If you find certain things disgusting, like men having sex with men no amount of porn is going to make you find that attractive. There are a lot of other disgusting types of porn that unless you already had a screw loose before you watched it – you will never be drawn to it.

    So the first reason you may be drawn to more perverted forms of porn is because it is already in you to do so – the porn did not make you do it. But there is another reason. Often times men are so burdened down with the guilt and shame of looking at porn(as you reference in your point 5) that they figure – “well I am already sinning by looking at porn – so I might as well go all the way”. So these men may look at lesbian sex or other orgy types of sex or other types sexual acts that do not fit with God’s design of sex because “they might as well”. But when men understand that they can look at porn without shame that changes. Because now there is a big difference between looking at an image of a man and woman having normal heterosexual sex and watching two lesbians go at it because one is a sin to desire and the other is not.

  16. In reply to anon.

    Anon,

    Continuing on with your list of common sense objections to porn:

    5. The shame. Where did this come from? Was I taught it? I think not. I think instinctively we know porn is wrong and shameful.

    Sorry I meant to address a few other things about the shame of looking at porn. I disagree with you that instinctively have shame for looking at porn – the reason we have shame is because we are culturally conditioned from the time we are young to have shame about looking at any nude imagery, let alone nude imagery that contains sexual acts.

    There is a difference between being ashamed of walking through Walmart naked – which I agree is an instinct we received from God and being ashamed to view nudity whatsoever. Do you know that there are some men and women that were so sexually repressed by the religious upbringings that they feel shame even viewing their spouse’s nudity? Does that make such shame right? I think not.

    So on this disagree with you that our shame at seeing a naked image is instinctual – rather it is very cultural.

  17. Anon,

    “4. It warps the mind. When I don’t use porn, I stand taller, I speak louder, and I’m more confident. I’m more social and I can look people in the eye. When I’ve recently used porn I feel ashamed to be with people. Which brings me to…”

    I refer you back to my shame comments. You can’t look people in the eye because you have been culturally conditioned to believe looking at porn is a shameful activity.

    I anticipated someone bringing the following argument up so do a preemptive strike on it.

    The argument goes:

    “Well if porn is not a shameful activity, they why would’nt you just sit on your family and friends down and watch it with them”

    In fact I have heard other variations of this in churches growing up like “If you could not watch it with your little kids then you as an adult should not be watching it” and then the best one that they really try and stop you in your tracks with “Would you watch porn if Jesus was sitting with you there in the room”

    So what is the answer to this line of argumentation basically saying watching porn is shameful and we all instinctually know it?

    The answer is found in this passage of Scripture:
    “To every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under the heaven”
    Ecclesiastes 3:1 (KJV)

    Would it be appropriate for my wife to come in the living room with my children and other family present, take her top off and start putting her breasts in my face? Of course not! Time and place, time and place. But that does not make those same actions in the privacy of bedroom shameful.

    So it is not that my wife is ashamed of her breasts or to sexually tease me with them, it is the fact that there is a time and place for it.

    Not to get gross – but do any of us want to have a bowel movement in front of people? Of course not – that is something we do in private.

    As far as Christ is concerned – he is God the creator so he is actually everywhere with us. He is there when my teases me with her breasts or does other sexual things I might like and he is honored by that because he designed my wife and I to crave sexual intimacy. When I have a bowel movement he is there as well and is honored and glorified by it why? Because this another part of his glorious design. And yes even if I masturbate in private he is there with me and glorified by it why? Because he gave me that ability to do that.

    In the same way God is glorified when men are sexually aroused and get erections or wonder what women look like naked – why? Because he designed us to do these things.

    Yes we should be ashamed of our sinful nature and the corruption of our nature. But we should not be ashamed of the purity of our God given human sexuality and the distinctiveness of male and female sexuality.

  18. I’m gonna just keep piggybacking on BGR

    Was a gateway to more perverted forms of porn.

    When a man is really hungry, starving he will eat just about anything. When a man has been sexually starved by his defrauding wife he will be drawn to any thought of a woman who is enthusiastic about sex, even immoral sex. That immoral sex seems less sinful than a sexless marriage. The images stories and other erotic stimulants are providing a sample of what he was supposed to receive from his wife, sexuality that is not begged for is not rare and is not halfhearted.

    If the church really wanted to be rid of porn it would stop inditing male sexuality and sternly condemn husbands and wives who miserly love and halfhearted sex; it is a sin to not bring your “a” game.

    The shame. Where did this come from?

    Here is one possible answer, the church has struggled from the beginning with a dualistic metaphysic. From the earliest days and before Christ the view of the world as spiritual ideals and physical corruptions has persisted. The Essenes, Platonist, Manicists , Gnostics, Marcians, neo-Platonists, Ascetics, Monastics and certain modern day fundamentalists all have helped to paint a worldview that condemns the things of the physical realm as worldly and aspires to spirituality through the repression of worldly pleasures.

    Sexuality has been in the cross hairs for centuries. Origin castrated himself so he could be more holy, he also wrote the commentary on Song of Songs that has been the guide for nearly two millennia that allegorizes SOS so that the bible is not a “dirty” book. Augustine the most influential philosopher in church history refused to marry the mother of his son so that he would not be sexually tempted to have sex with his own wife. So much for keeping the marriage bed honorable (Heb 13:4) This gave a major push to the veneration of celibacy as a spiritual virtue. In that spirit Mary was venerated as a perpetual virgin so that she remained sexless even after have given birth, Knights had to take vows of celibacy to remain pure, masturbation was listed as a venial sin, nudity was taught to be shameful, on and on et al ad nausea. Where did the shame come from, I posit to you that it came from the doctrine of demons (1 Tim 4:1-4) that would require one to abstain from which God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth.

    Some folks are ashamed of the gospel, that hardly makes it wrong! We must strive for a higher standard.

  19. Jonadab,

    Great points you brought up. I would sum it up as the false doctrine of Christian asceticism which teaches that all physical pleasures of this world are associated with sin whether it be sex, thoughts of sex, taking pleasure from eating or thoughts of food or really any physical activity that gives us pleasure. By standards of Christian asceticism even a “runner’s high” would be sinful. Really it means anything that gives us a dopamine rush is bad.

    Good point again.

  20. If porn isn’t sinful, then why isn’t the Bible more clear about such things? Why does the Bible never record Jesus engaging in sexually arousing activities? Not to disagree with you, but it seems llike it would be more clear. And why has no one bothered to say anthing until now? “Lust” has been around since the fall. Why all of a sudden are we saying it isn’t lust? Why didn’t anyone else between Jesus’ time and now say “looking at nudity is ok”? Why is it that 90+ percent of Christians say porn is bad? Wouldn’t the Spirit tell them differently? How long can one keep up the act? You go through high school watching porn all the time, then what? You go to collge and get a roommate. You can’t exactly masturbate with your roomate beside you. You get married and are still addicted. How long can you keep up the act? Eventually you either stop or get caught. And if you don’t want someone to know you do something you probably shouldn’t do it. People know that you have sex with your wife and that’s ok. But people don’t know that you watch porn, why? What difference is it anyway? They’re both sex. People’s lives are screwed up, as well as marriages, due to porn everyday. Why is that?

    Because porn is wrong

  21. Awful! Can’t believe anyone who reads their bible could support porn.

    God said to be Holy as He is Holy AND Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. You cannot look at porn and remain pure of thought.

    How about .. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.

    Or Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.

    Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. PURE

    Anyone with a true 100% on fire desire to be close to the Lord, hear His voice and have the best relationship with Him, live a life that is pleasing and honoring to Him and doesn’t want to bring shame to the name of Jesus would have nothing to do with porn.

    I am truly appalled. Its so true when it says that not everyone who says Lord Lord will enter in, cause He didn’t know them . Are they really His children, children of the Light? Or agents of darkness twisting the Light.

  22. @BGR (and also Jonadab, who brought in some really great and relevant history),

    This blog’s pushback against the vestiges of Christian aestheticism is one of the things that I most appreciate about it. It’s really tragic to see so many young men beating themselves up unnecessarily over being attracted to beautiful women and occasionally using porn and masturbation to satisfy their sexual desires. There’s no shame in a single man masturbating and/or looking at porn to satisfy some of his sexual needs before marriage and to help him keep himself sexually pure while pursues his future wife. Nor is there any shame in a married man using those things when his wife is unavailable for sex due to medical reasons or a temporary physical separation. I don’t think that there’s even any shame in a married man using those things occasionally to satisfy his desire for variety, provided of course that he does not deny his wife as a result or neglect his duties. (There is also no sin in a married man turning to these outlets when his wife defrauds him, but that is not an ideal situation.)

    I think that the Church’s issue with physical pleasures is that they confuse an enjoyment of physical pleasures with an abuse of them. Of course it’s possible to masturbate so much that it negatively impacts your ability to perform with you wife, but it’s also bad to overeat. That doesn’t mean that masturbation and porn are bad, period, anymore than it means that we should starve ourselves or even confine ourselves unnecessarily to a bland diet. Just because there are some types ignore pornography that portray sin or promote dangerous sexual practices doesn’t mean that all porn is bad. It’s possible to use porn and avoid the vile stuff just as it’s possible to eat good food without subsisting on a diet of pizza and ice cream.

  23. Jonadab

    *”Marriage is a covenant relationship with vows made to God”*……sorry but you’re completely and utterly wrong, vows can only be made to God by those who believe in God, so I would strongly caution against your ridiculous presupposition of using a hypothetical ideology and transplant it into current western thought. ….even those who get formally married in churches make vows to each other NOT to God
    Based on your idea you would have to reject over 80% of all marriages as being non binding amongst atheists or agnostics getting married
    We need to stop placing our western bible based views for the rest of society and realize for the majority of people a vow to God has got nothing to do with marriage, it’s a vow made between 2 people
    Also marriage, especially in America had got nothing to do with transference of property rights with father’s playing a pivotal role in relinquishing his authority over his daughter and giving it to her husband….what century are you living in? I’m being serious here, marriage just isn’t like that any more and it hasn’t been that way for thousands of years
    Also I have yet to see 1 convincing argument where anyone can show me the difference between a formally married couple and those who cohabit together in a committed monogamous relationship, THERE IS NOT 1 BIT OF DIFFERENCE EXCEPT A PIECE OF PAPER… can those not formally married walk away from their cohabiting partner? Yup, same as those who have a state licence, do those who cohabit have the same degree of commitment then those who get married in a church? Absolutely they can and they do, especially if you want to compare that to the divorce rate amongst formally married couples
    Whether you like to admit or not, modern western marriage is a new invention not sanctioned by the bible, but we like to make a distinction between those with marriage licences and those who cohabit so we can point the finger at them and accuse them of fornication when they’re not
    In fact common law marriages are accepted by state law after a certain amount of time of being together …who are we to suddenly question whether someone is truly married or not when even at the state level the Govt recognizes a cohabiting couple as truly married
    Blood is on our hands……the Christian church has been guilty of spreading lies about what constitutes marriage for nearly 2000 years now because of its rampant hostility to anything sexual and the spreading of the garbage from ascetics like Origen and Augustine

  24. Dudey,

    Let me put put some of your questions in perspective:

    “If porn isn’t sinful, then why isn’t the Bible more clear about such things?”

    Answer: For the same reason that the Bible is does not say we can play cards, play video games, watch TV, go on vacations…ect Just because the Bible does not mention an activity does not make it wrong.

    “Why does the Bible never record Jesus engaging in sexually arousing activities?”

    Answer: First, Jesus had the gift of celibacy and was a “eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake”(Matthew 19:12). It was not in God’s plan for him to marry and have children. But even if Christ did engage in sexually arousing activites (i.e. being aroused by the sight of beautiful woman) there would have been no sin in that. The Bible does not have to record Christ’s sexually arousing activities anymore than it has to record his bowel movements and what he liked to do during his down time. You are laboring under the delusion that we must have an example of every human activity or thing we do or else we cannot do it. Biblical examples of things, when they are presented in a positive way can show us we are allowed to do something but they don’t require us to do that thing. Only Biblical commands require us to do a thing. And the lack of a Biblical example of an activity does not mean we cannot do that thing as long as it does not violate a Biblical principle or command.

    “And why has no one bothered to say anthing until now? “Lust” has been around since the fall. Why all of a sudden are we saying it isn’t lust?”

    Answer: Correction “lust” is an English word that finds its origins around 1200 A.D. several thousands of years after the fall – so no lust has not been around since the fall. The word “covet” originates around the same time(around 1300 A.D.) and this word in its meaning more closely resembles the Hebrew and Greek words for covet. I love the KJV and quote from it all the time – but the KJV translators simply chose to use two different words for coveting – they chose “lust” and “covet” and in modern English usage “lust” came to mean “finding someone sexually desirable or being aroused by someone” but that was not the original meaning of the words in the Scriptures.

    “Why didn’t anyone else between Jesus’ time and now say “looking at nudity is ok”?”

    Answer: Why didn’t Jesus say going to plays was OK?(they had plays in his day). Why didn’t Jesus say sculpting and painting were OK? They had that in Jesus Time. Why didn’t Jesus say play sports were ok? They had that during his time. Jesus did not have to give us a litany list of things that were OK or else we can’t do them. Instead he told us things we should do, things we should not and principles by which to live.

    “Why is it that 90+ percent of Christians say porn is bad?”

    Answer: Why was it that 90+ percent of Christians before the reformation believed that only priests could read and teach the Bible? The answer is the same – because they were ignorant of what the Scriptures actually said.

  25. Anonymous Christian,

    Your Statement:

    “God said to be Holy as He is Holy AND Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. You cannot look at porn and remain pure of thought.”

    Response: Does holiness meaning being not being sexually aroused, not experience sexual pleasure or physical pleasure of any kind? No sir it does not. Holiness means being consecrated to God’s service and conforming to his will for our life – it is not synonymous with suppressing the various human pleasures that God designed our bodies to experience.

    Is it noble, is it right, is it pure, is it lovely, is it admirable, is it praise worthy for a man to see a beautiful woman or an image of a beautiful woman, get and erection and experience the sexual pleasure in his mind that her beauty brings him? Yes, because God designed his brain to experience this type of pleasure when he sees female beauty.

    What do you think it means to “remain pure of thought“? So do you think somehow that sexual thoughts are impure? The church today has pushed a false notion and the world has gone a long with it that sexual thoughts are “in-pure and dirty”. The world likes sex to be dirty – because it makes sex more exciting. But let me tell you something brother – a man having sexual thoughts about a woman and being aroused by her in and of itself are as PURE as the driven snow. Sexual thoughts are NOT impure thoughts. Covetous thoughts are impure thoughts and there is a HUGE difference between being aroused by a woman’s beauty and even fantasizing about her and having covetous thoughts about how you can pursue a sinful relationship with her.

    Your Statement:

    “How about .. For all that is in the world, the lust of the flesh and the lust of the eyes and the boastful pride of life, is not from the Father, but is from the world.”

    Response: Yes sir the desires of the sinful nature(“the flesh” is symbolic of the sinful nature in many contexts) and the evil desires of men, and the pride in riches are a part of this sin cursed world and not from God. Amen. But this passage says absolutely nothing about us experiancing the good pleasures of this world that God designed us to. Eating our favorite meals is a pleasure God has given to us. Having children is a pleasure God has given to us. Our ability to appreciate the beauty of God’s creation whether it be the beauty of a mountain range, the beauty of an lake or ocean, and yes the beauty of women is a gift from God. Our desires for these kinds of things are not sinful. Only when we make these things the center our lives and overindulge in pleasure at the expense of our service to God and our family can these things become sin OR if we use these things outside of God’s law(like having sexual relations outside of marriage) do they become sinful.

    Your Statement:

    “Or Do not participate in the unfruitful deeds of darkness, but instead even expose them; for it is disgraceful even to speak of the things which are done by them in secret.”

    Response: We should not participate in sinful deeds and we should instead expose them – Amen. I don’t seen making or enjoying erotic images listed anywhere in the Scripture as sin or a work of darkness do you?

    Your Statement:

    “Blessed are the pure in heart for they shall see God. PURE”

    Response: Again see my previous comment – Pure does not mean non sexual, it means not dwelling on wicked thoughts like thoughts of murder, rape, or homosexuality, bestiality or things like this. Heterosexual thoughts in and of themselves are NOT impure.

  26. @shredifier,

    Thanks. I really do feel strongly about this, and I believe that BGR is pushing back against a line of thinking that hurts men, women, and the relationship between the sexes. It hurts men by making them fear and hate their sexual desires, and from what I’ve seen, this fear and self-hatred is often projected outward onto beautiful women, who are blamed for sexually arousing men–as if they should be ashamed of their beauty or should try to conceal God’s creation and subvert His design. It also makes women fear their own beauty, hide it, and avoid cultivating it out of fear of making men stumble. Furthermore, it makes them see male sexuality as predatory and something to be feared because they believe that sexual attraction and arousal are sin, unless directed towards a husband or wife. Finally, it downplays the importance of sex in a marriage, which tricks both men and women into believing that it’s okay (and possibly even helpful) if one person (usually the wife, but I’ve heard of men who believe so strongly that sex is for procreation only that they deny their wives sex and sexual pleasure) limits sexual relations.

  27. I just wanted to share this email I just received from a Christian husband. I get emails like this all the time and it is really one of the driving forces that keeps me sharing the truth of God’s Word on what it means to male, female and what marriage and sexuality are supposed to look like.

    “I have been reading that article about polygyny quite a bit since I have found you. My first gut reaction was that you were a nut LOL (no offense). But as I read through I realized that your claims are not refutable – at least not to me.

    This is all so very amazing to ponder. You see I am finishing up the Bible for the first time in my life, and have really struggled through the old testament over the last year long adventure through it. That is because much of it was not computing as I felt that it was contradicting my deeply held core values in many instances – Polygamy being the biggest question mark.

    Simultaneously I was striving for what I had been taught to believe was “sexual purity” by averting my eyes from anything enticing besides my wife. I realized how terribly impossible being victorious over what I perceived to be sexual immorality when I was to the point of controlling everything (almost) except my imagination. I even thought that I could get myself to never have what I was taught was “an impure sexual thought” eventually. Hogwash. I was not designed that way.

    Because of the beautiful work that you have done I now realize that I have been viewing the scriptures through the lens of our culture, and everything that I have been taught by society in my life until now. Your reasoning and knowledge of the scriptures are challenging me to view the word through the entirety of itself rather than our social norms.

    I feel that God has given us a beautiful gift of our sexuality and that makes the enemy very angry, so as a result he has put a lot of effort into taking that away from us. This is leaving Christian men confused and full of self flagellation, which sadly is then reinforced by our women in many instances. However, in the face of criticism and condemnation by human beings I at least feel like I finally understand myself for the first time in a very long time. Thank you very very much!”

    There are some key concepts here that I often see from Christians who read my site. Many of them find my site from postings on Facebook(by the way this blog crossed over the 3 million views threshold a few months back and my blog has been up only about 2 1/2 years). A lot of times Christian’s first reaction to some articles I post is just what his was “what a nut!” but then for those who are truly open to God’s Word as they examine the Scriptures I present they begin to realize that much of what they believe is because of cultural conditioning.

    Especially when it comes to Old Testament most Christians are woefully ignorant of what it says. I grew up reading the Bible and I have read it through several times. But in the Churches are grew up in like many churches today – we were basically taught to ignore large portions of the Old Testament because after all we were “New Testament Christians”. But what I realized later in life was – we cannot dismiss the Old Testament as it forms the foundation for the New Testament. Yes we are no longer under the civil, sacrificial, dietary and cleanliness laws of the Old Testament – but there is a lot of moral law in the Old Testament that still applies to us today. Also the OT has a lot of great examples for us and some of these examples teach us about God’s nature as well as our own nature as he designed it.

    I also like the phrase “self flagellation” that this reader used in his email because it is so accurate to what so many Christian men do to themselves each and every day. Some do this because of ignorance as he did. Some do it because they feel it makes them holier and better than other men. In either case this “self flagellation” is WRONG.

    Paul warned about this:

    “20 If you have died with Christ to the elementary principles of the world, why, as if you were living in the world, do you submit yourself to decrees, such as, 21 “Do not handle, do not taste, do not touch!” 22 (which all refer to things destined to perish with use)—in accordance with the commandments and teachings of men? 23 These are matters which have, to be sure, the appearance of wisdom in self-made religion and self-abasement and severe treatment of the body, but are of no value against fleshly indulgence.”
    Colossians 2:20-23(NASB)

  28. I had a wife write me asking “Can you explain why it’s good for women to watch porn.” and based on the rest of her email she was not asking this as a trick question. She was asking it in an genuine way so that she can better understand her husband’s sexuality and be better in the bedroom.

    And really her reasons for asking the question are some of the very reasons I believe women should watch porn.
    These are reasons that I believe wives should watch porn:

    1. To better understand sex from their husband’s very physical perspective which is different than a woman’s sexual nature that is more relationally based and only secondarily physically based.

    2. To understand that a man’s ego and his sense of sexual pleasure is very much related to his wife’s love for his penis and his semen. I know it sounds silly to a woman and most men don’t always understand their own feelings in this regard. But a man is intoxicated by a woman who craves his penis and his semen – if she is turned off by either this can affect a man’s attraction toward his wife.

    3. A man also wants to feel that his wife loves for him to touch her body and that he brings her great pleasure sexually. A woman will make her husband’s day when she makes him feel like a great lover.

    4. Enthusiasm, enthusiasm, enthusiasm. This is one of the biggest reasons men watch porn – because the women are so enthusiastic about having sex.

    5. Submission – a woman can act both enthusiastic as well as submissive with sex, these are not contradictory things.

    These an many other things can be taught to a wife when she watches porn. There are a lot of technical things she can learn that would be hard to explain in words.

    And also I would like to mention that a woman can learn about her own body by watching porn and it can also serve as way to help her have sexual relief when her husband is away and not available just as it does a man.

  29. There is nothing wrong with a woman finding a man handsome or a man finding a woman beautiful. But you don’t have to move from admiring the way a person looks into lusting after them. The Bible says to take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. You have to control your thoughts and cast down thoughts that are not pleasing to Him or contrary to His Word. A person is able to appreciate beauty without lusting. I know a man who can control his body’s reactions to women and I as a woman did so to when I asked God to help me control what society says is my “natural desires” .

    The Bible says It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; We have to control our body.

    If a person has an issue, they can get on their knees and seek the Lord and ask Him to give them a clean, pure heart/mind and remove those desires or thoughts. He will do it. He WILL if you ask. He will remove lustful, sexual thoughts. Sexual lust/thoughts are permitted in marriage to your partner, not outside of it.

    You can’t say this is the way God made us so we can’t help it. You only can’t help it if you do not have the indwelling Holy Spirit and also if you don’t want to, because if you did want to stop, the Lord would help.

    We need Jesus to change us, and we are to conform to the image of His Son. The Bible also says Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry.

    You can make all the arguments to the contrary but sadly it only shows a lack of true relationship with Him, you REALLY REALLY don’t know Him or otherwise you would not be defending porn. You don’t know His heart. Many people have a lot of intellectual knowledge of the Bible without being truly saved and therefore don’t divide the Word rightly as the Bible says. I am sad for you. I suggest you ask Him to save you, convert your heart, fill you with His Holy Spirit and then you will truly see what miracles, revelations. Then you can ask the Lord for help to give you pure, nonsexual thoughts, and He will. No one filled with the Holy Spirit, and following His lead can support viewing porn, or even filming it. It would grieve the Holy Spirit within and in turn, then grieve the person He was living in.

  30. “Enthusiasm, enthusiasm, enthusiasm.”

    Ladies, if you can take away ANYTHING good from adult movies (I am moving away from “porn”, I think) then let it be this. A woman who ENTHUSIASTICALLY engages in sex with her husband will be both a blessing and find herself being treated more like a girlfriend than a wife. When you do this you sneakily embed yourself into your husbands brain and he will find himself thinking the most inappropriate things about you and the most inappropriate times of the day, and he will love every second of it. ENTHUSIASTIC sex can make up for lack of variety (though both are better together) if your struggling with some of the more difficult things you may see in adult movies, but oh goodness, what enthusiasm will do…..

  31. anonymous Christian,

    Your Statement:

    “There is nothing wrong with a woman finding a man handsome or a man finding a woman beautiful. But you don’t have to move from admiring the way a person looks into lusting after them

    If a person has an issue, they can get on their knees and seek the Lord and ask Him to give them a clean, pure heart/mind and remove those desires or thoughts. He will do it. He WILL if you ask. He will remove lustful, sexual thoughts. Sexual lust/thoughts are permitted in marriage to your partner, not outside of it.”

    Response: I put the above statements together so my readers are clear your definition of lust verses mine. You define lust as “sexual thoughts” where as I define lust as “the desire to unlawfully possess or use” and in this case of sexuality I mean the desire to unlawfully have sex with someone.

    Now that we are clear on the difference in how we define lust let’s move on to your theory. Biologically speaking it is a fact that human beings have two basic driving hungers, one for food and one for sex. If we as individual humans do not eat we will die. If we as human race do not have sex our species will die. Even on a lower level, when a husband and wife do not have sex – often their marriage dies. This is why I continue to maintain that sex is actually a human need even though an individual human will not die from lack of having sex, marriages and the human race would die from lack of having sex and therefore it is a human need.

    So we have these two basic human hungers, the hunger for food and the hunger for sex. The argument you make is very similar to that of Christian nudists who argue that our sexual response to nudity is conditioned one and that we can be “unconditioned” and not have a sexual response to nudity as they claim they have.

    Yes as human beings we can appreciate the beauty in things like the beauty of a building, or the painting of a sunset. But when it comes to things like food and people it is different because of the special hungers that God put in us toward these two things.

    We all have different tastes in food so if I see a picture of food, or actual food on a plate in front of me that I do not find desirable then there will be no reaction in me, or I may have the reaction of being repulsed if it makes me feel that way. But if I see a picture of a plate of food I find desirable, or an actual plate of food I find desirable I cannot separate the fact that I feel it is beautiful from that plate of food lighting up my senses, giving me pleasure and perhaps even making me hungry.

    It works exactly the same with a man and a woman. If a man sees a picture of a woman, or an actual woman in front of him that is to his taste or liking he cannot separate the fact that he finds her beautiful from also being sexually desirable unless she is a close relative like a mother, sister, daughter. This is because God has placed a special exemption to our sexual desire for these women in the same way my Convict fish won’t eat their own babies but they will eat other fishes babies.

    When we compare this back to food – your theory is basically saying a person can see a plate of food that they find desirable and not have it arouse their appetite for that food.

    Now I don’t argue that as a human being every time I saw a plate of food that I found desirable that I could do many things. I can distract myself from the arousal that that food created in me by going and working on something or playing a sport. I can ask God to forgive me for being aroused by that food or the thoughts I had about what it would be like to eat that food. But what I cannot stop is my arousal at the sight or smell of that food – it is built into me by the design of God. With human sexuality – it is EXACTLY the same way. And no my friend, God will not have his Holy Spirit override a perfect desire that he put in us. It is not the fact that we are aroused or find the “food” desirable to eat, but rather what we do with that arousal that makes it sin or not.

    So I say all this to say – if you think men and women should go around each day asking God to forgive them for being sexually aroused by members of the opposite sex then you continue to do that. If you want labor under the delusion that you can separate the beauty of a person from their sexual desirability in the same way you can separate your the beauty of food from it making you hungry for it then go for it.

    But in the end my friend – you are not fighting against the sin nature as you believe you are, but instead you are fighting against your own God given nature.

    Your Statement:

    “You can make all the arguments to the contrary but sadly it only shows a lack of true relationship with Him, you REALLY REALLY don’t know Him or otherwise you would not be defending porn…I am sad for you. I suggest you ask Him to save you, convert your heart, fill you with His Holy Spirit and then you will truly see what miracles, revelations. Then you can ask the Lord for help to give you pure, nonsexual thoughts, and He will.”

    Response: I actually get emails and comments like this one all the time. My regular readers may be wondering why I am even responding to entertaining this line of commenting. Because it goes away from the argument at hand and descends into personal attacks. But the reason I am allowing this through is because is this is the kind of attack you as born again believer in Christ will have to be ready for.

    This is not just about porn either. In some of the Baptist churches I grew up in people would call your salvation in question for an lot of differences.

    I love the KJV and quote from it more than any other translation because in my years of study I have found it to be most literal and accurate in most places. But I grew up with people who actually believed if you were not saved using a KJV or did not believe the KJV was the only Bible you should use that you probably were not saved. After all what person who had the Holy Spirit in them would not know this about the KJV?

    Some people I knew thought people who like Christian contemporary music were not save – after all what person with the Holy Spirit in them could like “Christian Rock”. Just fill in the blank – whether it be movies, drinking alcohol, playing cards or a host of other issues the reaction was the same. How can a person have the Holy Spirit in them and believe this or that or do this or that.

    I have had people ask me because of my strong views on Biblical Gender Roles if I believe a person can be a true believer in Christ and be a Christian feminist or Egalitarian and completely reject or explain away the teachings of Biblical gender roles. My answer to them is always a resounding “YES”. We are not saved by believing correctly on every doctrine of the Scriptures. We not saved by perfectly following the Spirits leading in our lives. No my friends – we are saved BY GRACE THROUGH FAITH IN CHRIST ALONE. Nothing more, nothing less.

    “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God”
    Ephesians 2:8 (KJV)

    “Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved.”
    Acts 4:12 (KJV)

    So when we question our fellow brother’s and sisters’s salvation based our differences in doctrines and standards we do violence to the Gospel. We display our ignorance of the Gospel. The only way we should ever question a person’s salvation is if they reject that Christ was the sinless Son of God who paid the way for our sins and is the only way to God.

    And another point on the Holy Spirit leading in various areas. The Bible tells us to test the spirits whether they be from God:

    “Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.”
    I John 4:1 (KJV)

    But is the test – “Well let’s take a poll of professing believers and if a majority of Christians feel a certain way on an issue then that must be right.”?
    Or is the test of whether we are Holy Spirit lead on an issue “Let’s go to God’s Word.”

    Many people today follow the former approach, I follow the latter. Now does that mean I claim to perfectly interpret the Word of God? No. None of us can do that. We will all find things that we were wrong on when we get to heaven. But we must seek out God’s truth from his Word and bring to him in prayer and we must as Christians realize we will have differences even as the great men in the Bible had differences.

  32. Powerful!! Well said Larry. Fantastic!
    “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation” Isaiah 52:7

  33. Romans 14 speaks directly to this issue. Here is the issue though. On one side of the coin, those who are weak in faith can continue as those who are strong in faith can continue, but when the entire church goes into wrong thinking, it becomes important to right that wrong with truth, or the entire church goes off course.

    Part of the confusion is that Augustine’s influence has poisoned so much church thinking. Look at the result. God designed and built sexual nature into men, and He does not make mistakes. He invented sex! It was His idea! Does the church ever teach this? You sure wouldn’t know it.

    The enemy has been convincing women that men’s sexual nature is evil, when it is in fact from God and good. The truth is that women often simply do not understand it – the enemy has taken advantage of that and just like the enemy deceived Eve in the garden, the enemy is deceiving women now. Combine that with what the enemy has been sowing about women not being in submission as the NT covers in multiple places and you have a deadly combination that is playing out in the world right now. Many women are being deceived and think themselves superior to man who they were designed for – instead of being a crown upon his head and bringing him glory as God designed them, they rot his bones. What they do not realize is that by not fulfilling their God created designed purpose, they also will be miserable and lost. Ultimately it will all end in Isaiah 3/4 with them sitting on the ground destitute – they just don’t know it yet.

  34. @anonymous Christian & All who might care

    BGR has done a fine job of describing the differences in understandings of the word “lust”. Most of the time in the NT lust means to covet and is not another word for sexual desire or arousal. I might add that desire or “lust” for what is good is good. (2 examples: The same word translated lust in Matt 5:28 is translated as longed in Matt 13:17 and desire in Lk 17:22 and in the later two a good thing)

    In like manner many of the words in scripture that culture has taught us are of a sexual nature are not intended that way from the original usage and context. For instance the word “world” is from the word cosmos which means an arrangement or order it the antynomn of chaos. Hence a cosmopolitan is the arrangement of people, cosmetology is the arrangement of make-up and hair etc. So when the Bible uses the word world or worldly it is not an indictment of matter or sexuality, but of a system, usually a value system or order of authority that is literally out of order. Egalitarianism is one such system that is disordered because it does not reflect God’s order.

    Another such word that is often associated with sexuality is sensual. It is translated from “psuchikos” which means having to do with breath. In its original usage it refers to animal like survival at the expense of greater virtues like righteousness, beauty and truth. It would be antithetical to use the word as sexual unless you presuppose that sex is not beautiful or righteous and the Word of God does not support that supposition, but only sex misused is unrighteous.

    In fact the Proverbs call sex wonderful and the image of it too wonderful to understand:

    Proverbs 30:18-19 There are three things which are too wonderful for me, Yes, four which I do not understand: The way of an eagle in the air, The way of a serpent on a rock, The way of a ship in the midst of the sea, And the way of a man with a virgin.

    All of the above references are to motion: the eagle in flight, serpent slither on a rock, a ship on rolling waves and a couple having sex.

    One last word that has been corrupted by our dualistic heritage to drive the point – the word “pure” is most often translated from the stem ‘kath-ar-os’ which means to be cleansed of purified. Now what is pure but what God has declared pure.

    Romans 14:20 Do not destroy the work of God for the sake of food. All things indeed are pure, but it is evil for the man who eats with offense.

    The above verse gives us a principle that what God has made clean is clean, whether food or sexual desire, two appetites for survival. What remains unclean is coveting another man’s wife, or abominations such as homosexuality. God Himself has declared sex good and the marriage bed undefiled. He has placed no prohibition on sexual thoughts or images unless they are to celebrate abominations or to seek another man’s wife. Certainly the word “too wonderful” put God’s stamp of approval on sexual musings of the imagination.

    There are many more examples of how an anti-sex dualistic or ascetic presuppositon has colored and entire worldview and made our reading of scripture an exercise of eisegesis (reading our suppositions into and not having them defined out of the text).

    I am not arguing for all porn or all uses of porn, but I am agreeing with BGR that the crusade against porn has done far more harm than good and is a weapon in the war against men and the family. I vehemently oppose the attempts of the feminists, white-knights enablers and the modern ascetics to castrate men by torturing them for their God given design that propels industry the family and dominion.

    If I was the devil, I would stir up attacks against the family by a softer kind of patricide, convince men that what is good is evil, and make gifts from God questioned as to their goodness.

    I leave you with this Quote to ponder:

    “In a sort of ghastly simplicity we remove the organ and demand the function. We make men without chests and expect of them virtue and enterprise. We laugh at honour and are shocked to find traitors in our midst. We castrate and bid the geldings be fruitful.” 

    ― C.S. Lewis, The Abolition of Man

  35. You have no idea how helpful and a blessing your words have been to me
    Both you, BGR, and other like minded souls in here have helped unshackle my soul and mind from the absolute crippling and devastating effects that the anti-sexual, anti-porn, anti-male , teachings have done to me for nearly 35 years
    It convinced me that you can either be a sexual being and embrace your true self, or you can believe in God, but you can’t be both…..this has led me to an almost schizophrenic mindset of being drawn to Christ then hating him at the same time
    If it hadn’t of been me finding this blog I probably would walked away from Christianity for good and never looked back

  36. Now there was a certain boy who had a good father who loved him dearly. One morning the father gave his son a shiny new top of the line bicycle. When the boy saw it he was ecstatic. He rode his bike each and every chance that he could. He just loved how free he felt as he raced down the street or through the trails.

    One day a dragon seen him putting the bicycle away after a wonderful ride. “Did you enjoy riding my bicycle” the dragon quibbled. “Huh?” the boy asked. “This is my bicycle” the boy retorted. “Is it now? I suppose your father gave it to you?” the dragon asked accusingly. “Now how do you think that I knew that?” the dragon continued. “You see this is my bike and your father stole it from me!” the dragon boldly stated. The boy confused and afraid now wasn’t sure what to say. The dragon with eyebrows furled looked intensely at the young boy while drawing in closer and began to explain that the boy could ride his bike just so long as he knew who the rightful owner was and got permission from the dragon first each time. “Ok” the boy relented sadly.

    For a while the dragon let the boy ride the bike as often as he liked so this didn’t seem like a horrible arrangement after all. But over time the dragon started ridiculing the young boy for wanting the ride. The dragon rallied the other children in the neighborhood to discourage him from riding. “That kid is so gross – all he cares about is riding his bike” they jeered. “What is wrong with him? Doesn’t he enjoy walking?” others would ponder. The dragon seeing the boys despair leaned in with a sinister friendly whisper and said “you should do everything within your power to stay far away from this bicycle”. The dragon then retreated to the shadows from whence he came to oversee the outcome while still trying to maintain his ever being involved. The neighborhood children all policed each other making sure that no one in their little community would dare do something so putrid as ride a bicycle. Frequently the dragon would rear his head to put things in order when some child may dare to ride his bicycle without shame or guilt.

    Suddenly, from inside the house a voice Hearkened “Adam”. “Yes father” Adam replied. “I have noticed that you haven’t been riding your bicycle very often and when you do you are very ashamed about it” the good father stated. “Yes dad that is true” Adam responded. “You see the dragon told me the story about the bicycle being his and he tells me how and when I can ride it but it’s okay. I am trying not to want to. I don’t want to disappoint you father”. The father in utter dismay looked aghast, and then turned to deep compassion for his son “Adam……….ADAM” His face soft and eyes filled with love. “That is YOUR bicycle. That was MY gift to you”. “The dragon never owned it”.

  37. That’s a very powerful story

    Is the bicycle in this analogy sex and or our sexual feelings as men? And is the Dragon the Devil who has tricked is into despising our innate sexual nature’s?

  38. You know it Shredifier! Thank you. I just had my awakening a few days ago. The devil is indeed a roaring lion seeking whom he may devour. I think he may be much more devious than many give him credit for.

  39. Thanks for the article. I wanted to comment on your statements about how homemade amateur porn can be “glorifying to God.” I partially agree. But it is important that we don’t throw caution into the wind. Making home videos comes with tremendous risks. Something me and my wife have learned from experience. I would like to share my experience.

    I am a Methodist, my wife is Anglican. We bot have strong religious convictions but when it comes to sex we are pretty open minded. About 5 years ago in our first year of marriage, we explored our more adventurous side. We made a 20 minute amateur sex video that went viral on a popular porn video site. It was very gratifying reading the comments, especially the comments about my wife, which of course made me want to show her off even more. So we made 2 more videos. Combined those videos got a little under a million views. Something we never expected. And that’s when things got bad.

    A guy who worked with my wife came across the videos and news got around the office. To make matters worse we were living in a smaller town at the time and somehow word got back to people at our church and bible study group and we were asked to leave. I believe they would have stoned us to death if it was legal. I couldn’t remove the videos because our computer got damaged and we lost the password. The videos are still up to this day.

    It ruined our social lives. People at the church manipulated our friends to stop talking to us. Our kids had no one to play with because no mothers would do play dates with us. If my wife took our kids to the park, other mothers would abruptly leave. That’s how bad it was. So we decided to move to the city where we could start fresh.

    From personal experience, making amateur videos will only put a stumbling block in front of people and cause you to be ostracized from your friends and family. We are lucky to have a good church and a pastor who understands our past situation. But if I could do things differently I would not have filmed those videos.

  40. Loyd and Susan,

    Thank you so much for your sending in this story. I apologize for taking so long to get back to you but this last week I was out of town on business and it was a very hectic week.

    I agree with you that if a Christian husband and wife choose to make and release to a public website a video of themselves having sex great caution and consideration must go into this decision.

    As a Christian couple you must weigh the very real possibility that it may become know that you made and release a sex video and that in our culture this is a taboo both in Christian culture and in the secular culture due to our negative views of sexuality. Our culture treats sex as a dirty little secret, instead of the beautiful act God intended it to be.

    So in weighing the consequences you must be willing to suffer bet ostracized from various people – if you are not then you should not do it. But there are some couples who are willing to take a stand against all odds for what they believe is right and take sex out of the shadows that are culture has placed it in and bring it into the light.

    Obviously there is a time and place for sexual imagery as I have stated many times on this blog. But in order for someone to find your video – they would have to be looking for sexual imagery. It is not as if you and your wife just started having sex on a street corner in public as many detractors of amateur porn would try to falsely compare this to.

    I honestly think the best married couples to make these kinds of amateur sex videos would be those who live more reclusive lives and don’t have much public exposure beyond their videos. Perhaps they don’t have children because they were not able to or their children are grown and gone. Some regular actors(as opposed to porn actors) live this way. They don’t like to be swarmed by the public and get either negative or positive feedback based on their acting.

    But I totally understand why you regret from your personal experience and it is not for everyone. It is for a brave few who have thought of ways to either protect themselves from ridicule through living a reclusive life, or they are willing to suffer the consequences and stand for what they believe is right.

    Let me take this out amateur porn arena and move it into some non-sexual areas for comparison. Specifically I am talking about your “stumbling block” analogy. In the churches I grew up in that Biblical concept of “not being a stumbling block to others” was massively abused. We were told we could not drink, because it might be a stumbling block to others. We were told we should not go to movie theaters because it might be a stumbling block for others. In fact in some churches married couples were discouraged from showing any public affection toward one another because it might be a stumbling block for others.

    Biblically speaking being a stumbling block to someone is not simply doing something they disagree with. Being a stumbling block is when we shove our freedom to do something in someone elses face. To use Paul’s meat analogy it goes something like this.

    If you are at a dinner with a Christian brother whom you knew did not feel comfortable eating meat offered to idols and he tells you some meat was offered to idols – then don’t eat the meat in his presence. But this does not stop you from going home and eating meat that you have purchased from the market that was offered to idols if your conscience is clear about it.

    On the other hand, if you happen to be at feast away from that brother who is believes he cannot eat meat offered to idols and you gladly accept and eat that meat and he happens to come by after the fact and see you eating that meat – he is not judge you or look down on you for eating the meat.

    So bringing this back to the subject of the production of amateur sex videos by Christian married couples. It would be one thing if you were going around your church announcing to people publicly about your videos knowing it would offend many in your church. That would be being a stumbling block to them.

    But if someone from your church came across the video(and you would have to ask how they did?) or someone started going around telling people that was not you putting your freedom in other people’s faces – that was someone doing wrong by running around telling people your business and trying to make you look bad.

  41. After this super stressful election I think porn would be a much more lighthearted topic!! Exhale everyone and what a better time then any to just have sex!!!

  42. @D,

    Lol. I hear ya.

    Unfortunately, porn seems to be an even more contentious topic among, well, everyone than the election. It shouldn’t be, but even the comments here show that it is.

  43. Thanks for the post.

    I have sometimes wondered about the question, and now I am more at ease about it.

    As for lesbian porn, I am with jcromeskk on the issue, and I am not opposed to some same-sex intimacy among the wives of a polygamous marriage, as it is in a legitimate marital relationship, especially where polygamous threesome sex is concerned.

  44. infowarrior1,

    I am very familiar with yourbrainonporn.com and have read their articles for several years. I have had tons of people send me links to their site since I posted my pro-porn articles. I have shown in my articles professionals in the field of neurosciences and psychology that disagree with them and I will let people who have dedicated their lives to science and psychology battle that out.

    The point of view I was primarily arguing from was the theological and philosophical point of view.

    Also on the area of studies – I can show you a study to support just about any theory out there.

    http://www.nytimes.com/2013/06/02/opinion/sunday/coontz-the-triumph-of-the-working-mother.html

    This article is just one of many that shows “studies” which show the benefits of women having careers and the harm being a stay at home mom does to a woman’s psyche. Should we believe those as well?

    My point is that there are studies that attack the creation account, marriage between a man and a woman and host of other issues. On this blog I base my belief on the Scriptures – not studies. If a study backs what the Bible says – I may use it – but if it goes against the Bible I will discard it.

    “God forbid: yea, let God be true, but every man a liar; as it is written, That thou mightest be justified in thy sayings, and mightest overcome when thou art judged.”

    Romans 3:4 (KJV)

    “Where is the wise? where is the scribe? where is the disputer of this world? hath not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?”

    1 Corinthians 1:20 (KJV)

    Speaking of studies – research on both sides of the argument both pro and against porn use agree that the vast majority of men look at some type of porn – whether it is softcore, hard core or just lingerie ads. This is an agreed upon FACT.

    Then we will get these stories of all this damage that porn does to men’s minds and how they can’t achieve erections or porn made them not desire sex with their wives to scare us about what porn will do to us. What these stories do not reveal is that porn is not the problem – it is other issues in these men’s lives. They struggle with depression so they look to porn to deal with it instead of seeking professional help. They may struggle with a host of other issues but porn becomes the culprit when it really was not – the issue was their compulsive and bad behavior.

    The reality is that the vast majority of men use porn and do NOT use it compulsively in the same way the the vast majority of people who eat food do not do so compulsively or in unhealthy ways. If porn were as damaging to men as yourbrainonporn.com and other anti-porn sites would have us believe we would be having an epidemic of men not wanting to or unable to have sex with their wives. Yet we find just the opposite. Men being sexually denied by their wives and desperately wanting physical intimacy with them.

    In a way the anti-porn groups are very much like environmental groups that want to convince us that that the sky is falling around us when it is not. You don’t need to have a PHD to realize that the whole global warming stuff is a hoax and likewise you don’t have to have a PHD to realize that the vast majority of men look at porn and yet the vast majority of men do NOT experiance the effects that yourbrainonporn.com and other sites claim happen to all men when they look at porn.

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