Last week I was contacted by a blogger and podcaster named YogiOabs. YogiOabs was exposed to the poisonous influences of feminism on our culture while he was still an unbeliever studying to be a doctor in Portland, Oregon. He then went on to become an entrepreneur and got involved with MGTOW and started a YouTube channel advocating for the MGTOW position because of his horrible experiences with women both in his education and in his dating life. He saw that because of feminism, most American and Western women had no respect, not for men and not for themselves.
What follows is an excerpt from YogiOabs’ testimony on his About page on Yogoabs.com where he shares how he left Leftism and then MGTOW and became a Christian and a firm believer in Biblical Patriarchy.
“I spoke about my new conviction in the MGTOW movement on YouTube and quickly gained 50,000 subscribers. Throughout the process, my awareness of the pain and discriminiation caused by feminism grew. I connected with men’s rights activists and other creators and realized there was a whole nother world out there. My ideas resonated with women too, and they started asking for more female-focused content. My YouTube channel was censored by YouTube shortly afterwards for hate speech, and there was also a lot of drama because I turned against my audience and criticized the MGTOW movement. That’s not smart for the YouTUbe algorithm, which I didn’t care about in the slightest at the time. My channel basically died, so I started a new channel where I aimed to be professional and focus on educating people on the harms of feminism. And that’s where I spend most of my time on YogiOabs today.
2019, The Year God Found Me
Jesus has known me ever since I was born in Pennsylvania. But in 2019, it seems as if he started pressing the gas on his efforts to find me in 2019. I started noticing Christian music on the radio, and strangely, it was the only music I liked! I started getting comments from Christians on my videos, and then I fell in love with one! I started going to church, and I really liked it. I started reading the Bible, and I opened my mind more. But I was not ready to accept Jesus into my life.
I grew up really logical and analytical. If I became Christian, I would be turning my back on everything that I stood for. I never associated Christianity with free-thinking or rationality, so it didn’t make sense. Yet, when I heard Christians speak in church or read the Bible, most of it did seem rational. Maybe I felt that way about Christianity because I was never taught a single Bible story that I could remember in public education. What a shame! I was taught that creationism was terrible and Christians were uneducated. Maybe this was its own religion. The religion of the secularists…
2020: The Year I Became Christian
This year, in the summer, I finally accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior. It might sound weird to some of you, but there’s a spiritual significance to saying it. In my early twenties, I liked yoga, meditation and Buddhism to a degree. That was my spirituality then. But now, my spirituality is understanding I’m one of God’s children. It’s understanding who Satan is and how he operates. And it’s understanding that my purpose is to do God’s work, with all the intellectual creativity he can give me.
I pray every single night, and I’m glad you’ve read this far. I’m excited to share more information with all of you, so don’t forget to get on my newsletter.”
I encourage you to read the rest of his testimony here.
My Interview with YogiOabs
YogiOabs reached out to me after finding my articles on domestic discipline. He invited me on his podcast yesterday morning to do an interview.
We actually covered a great deal of theological ground in the one hour I spent with him. He asked about my background, what I teach from the Bible about gender roles, my views on MGTOW and Red Pill, what I believed were Biblical definitions of masculinity and femininity, why I think men should not give up on marriage and how young people can go about finding a good Christian spouse. The last subject we talked about was domestic discipline and he and I both agreed that husbands are responsible being human instruments of sanctification in the lives of their wives and that God wants husbands to hold their wives accountable for their actions.
You can tell both in his testimony on his blog and on his YouTube channel that the Holy Spirit led Yogi through his Word ultimately to Christ. And now as newborn Christian, he is hungry to learn everything God says in his Word, especially about how he wants us to live including the doctrines of Biblical gender roles.
I am excited for this new journey in faith that Yogi has now begun. Many of his followers are still unbelievers and Yogi has a great opportunity to share the Gospel and the important truths of Biblical patriarchy and how both can positively affect Western culture.
I encourage all my readers to click on the YouTube link at the top of this article and listen to my interview with YogiOabs.
Sarah grew up in a relatively conservative Christian home and as you will see from her testimony she was spanked as a child as is normal for conservative Christians. But even among conservative Christians today, wife spanking is no longer a common practice as it once was. So this experience was as strange and new for her as it was for her husband.
Like the first part of her husband’s testimony, this first testimony from Sarah will primarily deal with the introduction of domestic discipline into their new marriage from her perspective as well as the impacts it has made from a high level. In a follow-up testimony on Biblicalsexology.com, we will get a more detailed look at the changes in the sexual arena of their marriage. Below is Sarah’s testimony.
A Newlywed Wife’s Perspective on Domestic Discipline
“When my husband told me that he had located a mature Christian woman to mentor me as instructed in Titus 2:3-5, I did not know what to expect. The wife of the mentor team first took time to get to know me and my Christian background. Then she took me through a few weeks of learning the biblical doctrine on the role of the wife. There is a lot more all throughout the Bible about Biblical gender roles than I knew. Then came applying it to our marriage. You can’t just read it and learn it, you have to apply it, she told me.
I always believed in the value of parents spanking their children, but it was foreign to me to consider a husband spanking his wife. The mentor wife patiently took me through the scriptural support of it and she followed that up with the historical fact that the practice of wife spanking was fairly common until around 100 years ago. After that, I told the mentor wife that I agreed that my husband has authority to spank me, but I don’t think he will much because I am don’t do much wrong. I then told my husband that same day that accepted his authority to use physical punishment with me, in other words I consented to my husband spanking me as he saw fit.
It turns out, my husband was just not addressing everything that I did wrong.
The first time he spanked me, it was not physically real hard, but it was emotionally hard for me. It was a mix of feeling guilty for disappointing him as well as a blow to my pride to accept the spanking. It brought back memories of when I was spanked as a child too. The later spankings were physically more painful. But I can assure you, while they are quite painful in the moment, they did not physically injure me. Injure my pride, yes, physically no. However, I now knew he had this authority, so I submitted to his authority and I grew from it.
All this change has been hard and I am truthfully still adjusting to some of it. These changes have not only included learning new things, but also unlearning some old things. I don’t want to go into too much detail here, but there has been a great deal of changes in our sexual relationship too. Some of the things my husband requires that I do conflict with how I was raised. I had to learn to put away what I was taught in my father’s house and fully submit to my husband’s authority over me. The mentor wife also pointed me to an article on the difference between being what I saw as slutty to being sexy; it comes down to one word: Marriage.
The mentor husband had a number of exercises he suggested to my husband to help me become more sexually submissive. Many of these exercises conflicted with how I was raised, but I learned I needed to submit to my husband. I have also realized that I was turning my husband down too often when he initiated sex and I have corrected that.
One time I was struggling with a specific hurdle. My husband wanted me to do something sexual that I was uncomfortable with. The mentor wife worked with me for days and we discussed it in detail, it was not sinful, but I did not want to do it. Finally, the mentor wife really showed me how my disobedience in this was sinful and I needed to change. I was somewhat stuck. I couldn’t bring myself to do it, but I couldn’t live with the spiritual conviction either. Finally, I asked my husband to spank me to force me over this hurdle. I know this sounds really strange, but it worked. It was a huge blow to my pride to ask my husband to spank me like that, and then to submit to doing what he had requested.
However, looking back several months later, I see how this has been so helpful to our marriage. My obedience even when I did not agree was a critical step. Notice I did say obedience, not submission. By submission, I mean having my feelings agree with my obedience. At first, I learned to obey, then over time my emotions begin to catch up and I learn to truly submit. It is all part of the growth experience. I am glad I have the mentor wife working patiently with me as I go down this road she has already traveled. I am proud to say that every month I have stayed on budget too. That was the initial issue that brought my husband to BGR, but we have grown in so many ways beyond that one issue. Do I recommend this lifestyle change to other women? Yes. It is hard to change, but this more closely aligns with how God designed marriage. I trust that He knows what He is doing.”
What We Learn from This Wife’s Testimony
As with her husband, the incorporation of domestic discipline into their marriage has not been easy for Sarah. Obviously as the one receiving the discipline it has been much harder for her. The changes in being responsible with the money were easy compared to other changes that were required. The most difficult changes have been those in the area of sexual submission. This is an area that all the mentoring couples I work hit hard on. And there is a very important reason that they do this and that reason is a husband’s headship over his wife begins in the marriage bed.
Unfortunately, most Christian teachers today deny a husband’s headship over his wife’s body. Pastor Jonathan Parnell, lead pastor of Cities Church in Minneapolis–St. Paul, Minnesota, wrote a prime example of this all too common false teaching.
“The mutuality of sex seen in 1 Corinthians 7:1–5 is clear. The husband’s authority over his wife’s body is no greater than her authority over his. It is a terrible mistake to apply the pattern of gender roles to this issue of sex in such a way that the husband, by virtue of his headship, requires the wife to submit to him sexually…
The church doesn’t need Christian gigolos, but men who willingly lay down their lives, and when called for, their sexual desires, for their wives.”
The statement above that this Pastor wrote is contrary to the teachings of the Bible despite his assertions otherwise. In fact, I have referred to the article above as “a treasure trove of heresy” in a three-part series that I did on this article for my podcast site, Bgrlearning.com where I cover many other false doctrines he teaches in that article.
The Scriptures are clear that the husband is the most powerful of all earthly human authorities as shown below in Ephesians 5:22-24:
“Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
In no other human authority relationship, except that of the husband/wife relationship, is the one under authority told to submit to their human authority “as unto the Lord”. Wives are told to submit to their husbands “in every thing”. There is no exception given for the marriage bed nor would it make any Biblical sense for a husband’s headship to end at the bedroom door.
The Bible does teach mutuality in sex, but not in the way this pastor tells it as seen below in 1 Corinthians 7:1–5:
“Now concerning the things whereof ye wrote unto me: It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”
The passage above teaches us that it is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman if he has the gift of celibacy (1 Corinthians 7:7), but it is “better to marry” if one has the gift of sexual desire (1 Corinthians 7:9). It then tells us that sex is both a right and a duty in marriage for both the husband and the wife.
The only thing “mutual” about sex in marriage according to this passage is that neither the husband nor the wife has the power to deny sexual relations to the other and that they must mutually agree to cease having sex for a short period and then come together again soon so they will not be tempted to have sexual relations outside of marriage.
There is absolutely nothing in 1 Corinthians 7:1–5 that teaches a wife must mutually agree with her husband as to when or how they engage in sexual relations neither does it limit the husband’s headship in the bedroom.
Modern Christian teachers like Pastor Parnell ignore a central Biblical truth and its application to sex in marriage. In Corinthians 11:9 the Bible says:
“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man”.
When we apply that truth to sex, we can rightly say that sex was not created for the woman, but rather sex was created for the man. Everything about woman, including her ability to give and receive sexual pleasure was created for man.
The Bible affirms this truth in Romans 1:27 when it calls sex “the natural use of the woman”. It never refers to sex as “the natural use of the man”. Why? Because man was not created for woman’s use, but rather woman was created for man’s use.
The Bible also explicitly tells men to have their wives satisfy their sexual desires in Proverbs 5:18-19:
“Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
The passages above show us that the Bible actually teaches the very opposite of what Pastor Parnell and so many other Christian teachers teach today.
A man’s headship does not end at the marriage bed, but rather the marriage bed is where a husband’s headship begins. A man who is not master of his wife’s body, is not master of her at all.
This is why I only refer newlywed Christian couples to Christian mentoring couples who not only fully embrace Biblical gender roles, but also those who understand that biblical gender roles begin in the marriage bed.
Often as couples go through these mentoring programs, they will update me on their progress from time to time. And I always smile when I see the same patterns of learning occur with these young wives.
It goes in stages. In most cases, it is not too difficult for young newlywed husbands to train their young newlywed wives in the first level of submission regarding finances, things around the home and simply saying yes to sex whenever he wants it if the woman is a true Bible believing Christian.
However, the difficulty emerges when the husband begins to ask for new things in the sexual arena, things the wife is not comfortable with. It is at this second stage of sexual submission that many wives will look for the escape hatch. They will say things like “I am doing what he wants with the finances and the keeping of the house and I never say no to sex anymore – why can’t he just be happy with that?”.
But the answer to these young wives is always the same. Ephesians 5:22-24 tells us that marriage was created by God to model the relationship of God to his people and in the New Testament of Christ to his church. In verse 24 of Ephesians 5 the Bible says “Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing”.
Notice the Bible does not say wives should be subject to their husbands “in every thing they are comfortable with” but rather it simply says “in every thing”. Of course, we understand that wives should not submit to sinful requests of their husbands (Acts 5:29). But a husband asking his wife to do something sexually that is outside her comfort zone does not equal him asking her to sin.
And now a final word to newlywed husbands reading this. In 1 Corinthians 11:7 the Bible says “…woman is the glory of the man” and in Proverbs 12:4 the Scriptures state “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones”.
God meant for your wife to be your crown, your glory. And by bringing you glory; your wife brings God glory. So how does a woman bring glory to her husband? By both her inner and outer beauty. And the most important aspect of a woman’s inner beauty is her full submission to her husband in all things.
In Esther 1:9-12 we read the following story:
“Also Vashti the queen made a feast for the women in the royal house which belonged to king Ahasuerus. On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, and Abagtha, Zethar, and Carcas, the seven chamberlains that served in the presence of Ahasuerus the king, To bring Vashti the queen before the king with the crown royal, to shew the people and the princes her beauty: for she was fair to look on. But the queen Vashti refused to come at the king’s commandment by his chamberlains: therefore was the king very wroth, and his anger burned in him.”
Queen Vashti had an opportunity to bring glory to her husband by simultaneously displaying her inner beauty, her submission, and her outer beauty, her body, to her husband’s guests. But as she hosted her own party with the women, she was filled with pride. She may have had the same thought that many women both Christian and non-Christian alike have today. She probably thought “I am not his sex object to parade around for his friends to drool over”. And being filled with pride in the presence of her female friends she refused her husband’s command and in doing so she did the very opposite of what God created wives to do. Instead of being her husband’s crown, she became his shame.
My point to newlywed husbands is this. It is not selfish on your part for you to desire from your wife what God created her for, which was to bring you glory through both the inner beauty of her submission to you and the outer beauty of her body. And it is not selfish for you to discipline your wife to accomplish this purpose, to make your wife the glorious wife God wants her to be toward you.
But make no mistake, this work will require great courage on your part as a newlywed husband. It means having the courage to push your wife outside her comfort zones both inside and outside the bedroom. It means not letting her tears sway you from molding her into the wife to you that God wants her to be. It means being honest with yourself as to what you desire from your wife and as long as that desire is not sinful, bringing these desires to pass in your wife through washing her with the Word of God, rebuking and chastising her as Christ does his church.
And it also means being willing to stand alone against many Christians who will call you selfish for daring to fully exercise your headship in all areas of your marriage, including your headship over your wife’s body.
About 4 months ago I received an email from a newlywed Christian husband calling himself Robert. He is 24 and his wife is 18. They had been married for about a year. So yes, she was 17 when they got married (with her parents’ consent of course). He was experiencing a lot of rebellious tendencies with his young bride and I told him it was not too late for him to make a course correction in their marriage. In fact, the newlywed phase (the first four years of marriage), is really the best time and the most crucial time to make these kinds of changes. After the newlywed phase, it becomes much more difficult to make major structural changes in a marriage.
So, in response to Robert’s questions I wrote my article “7 Steps to Grooming Your Young Christian Wife”. This article of course drove humanist Christians and atheists mad and I received a lot of hate mail from them expressing their feelings on what I wrote. But at the same time I received many thankful emails over these last few months from the faithful remnant of Christians who rightly reject the humanist philosophies of individualism, egalitarianism and feminism as contrary to the Word of God.
I am happy to say that I was able to get Robert and his wife in with one of the mentoring couples I work with. And by the way, I have had several Christian husband’s reach out to me asking about mentoring couples in their area and I will just tell you here the same thing I told them. Right now, I only have a limited number of mentoring couples that I refer to and they only mentor online and not in person.
There is a strict vetting process that I go through to vet mentoring couples to make sure they are trustworthy Christians who not only believe in Biblical gender roles, but they actually live these doctrines on a daily basis to the best of their ability. Then I vet each couple that comes to me looking for a referral for mentoring and finally the mentoring couple themselves have their own vetting processes.
The first reason we take all of these precautions is because we know as Galatians 2:4 says that there are “false brethren” who come to “spy out our liberty which we have in Christ Jesus, that they might bring us into bondage” to their false belief systems. But the second reason we do this is that even with some Christian couples who are genuinely looking for help, sometimes either one or both of them are not in a right place to go through these mentoring programs.
Some couples pass the initial vetting process but soon must leave the mentoring program because one or both of them were not honest about where they were spiritually before they started the program or because they simply were not willing to make the changes that were necessary. In other words, not every couple is a success story.
One other thing I want to answer that has been asked a lot of me recently. And that is whether having a mentoring couple is required to incorporate domestic discipline and other concepts of Biblical gender roles into marriage. And my answer is no, it is not required, but rather it highly recommend. It will be difficult, especially for the woman, without having a female mentor. But it is possible.
It really comes down to the strength of a husband’s will and his convictions. If he recognizes the changes he needs to make in his own life, which include him becoming courageous enough to confront and discipline his wife despite her tears and every other emotional manipulation she may throw at him, then yes, it is possible for husband to incorporate this into his marriage without the help of a mentoring couple.
I have tracked Robert and his wife (Sarah) in their progress with great delight over the past 4 months and in the last week both of them felt they were finally at a place where they were ready to share their testimonies as to how God has transformed their marriage through the incorporation of domestic discipline into their marriage with the help of a mentoring couple.
I asked each of them to break up their testimonies into multiple parts. We will examine the first part of their testimonies here on Biblicalgenderroles.com and the primary focus here will be on the initial incorporation of domestic discipline into their marriage. Then on Biblicalsexology.com, we will examine the second part of their testimonies showing how this husband used domestic discipline to bring about the full sexual obedience that was lacking in their marriage.
If you know some young Christian men and women who will be looking to marry soon or who are newlyweds these perspectives from both the newlywed husband’s point of view and then his newlywed wife’s point of view will be invaluable.
I also want to clarify what I mean when I use the historic phrase “domestic discipline”. Often today when the term is used, we can think of it as being synonymous with wife spanking. And many times, when I use it, I am specifically referring to the practice of a husband spanking his wife. But historically speaking, domestic discipline was understood to incorporate more than just wife spanking. It also referred to a husband’s ability limit his wife’s spending, what friends she could see or even things like him sending her to her room without dinner for the evening due to her behavior.
And I think from a Biblical perspective we must see domestic discipline in an even broader sense as part of a husband’s duty to wash his wife with the Word of God (Ephesians 5:25-27) as well as to rebuke and chasten her (Revelation 3:19) as Christ does with his church.
With all that being said, below is the first part of Robert’s testimony.
A Newlywed Husband’s Perspective on Domestic Discipline
“After I contacted Larry with my question concerning keeping my wife on budget and considering spanking her, he referred me to a husband and wife couple that mentors young Christian couples in living as commanded in scripture. They were quite helpful as we implemented spanking in our marriage. While I know my wife had more change on her side, I wanted to share some of the changes from the husband’s side too.
I had to learn how to spank my wife in a way that would punish her, but not risk real harm or leave marks that would be embarrassing for her to explain if someone saw them. Mentally, I had to adjust to the concept that I was going to be spanking her. The first few times, it was really strange and I felt like I was just going through the motions. After that, it got to where both my wife and I accepted that I was going to spank her when she needed it.
Much of the growth I did took me outside my comfort zone. However, I know that my wife was being taken even further outside her comfort zone. She stays on the monthly budget now. Although it did require several spankings at new weekly budget reviews that the mentor husband recommended. She is careful to speak to me respectfully, even when we disagree.
But the biggest change was in an area that I had not even initially requested assistance, the bedroom. Like many couples, I have a higher sex drive than my wife. Prior to the mentoring, my wife was having sex with me too infrequently, often just once week. Now she makes herself available most anytime I request sex. Without going into too much detail here, the range of sexual activities has expanded too. Overall, these changes have been very beneficial for our marriage. I would recommend this process to any young couple that are bible believers. Change is often hard, but we are living as God designed in our marriage now.”
What We Learn from This Husband’s Testimony
As we can see from Robert’s testimony there were several stages in how this newlywed husband incorporated domestic discipline in his marriage. First both the he and his wife needed to accept the realization that he was going to spank his wife. This was brand new for him, and brand new for her. They had no examples in either of their parents for this because our society almost completely abandoned the practice of husbands spanking their wives by the 1960s.
Next, Robert had to figure out techniques for spanking his wife in a way that would not violate the Ephesians 5:28-29 principle that he must care for his wife’s body and provide for it and protect it as he would his own. And the first few times he did it, it fell strange to him as the one giving the spanking. And why did it feel strange for him? If Robert were living in 1820 or even 1920, spanking his wife would not have felt strange at all to Robert because it was a very common practice of husbands toward their wives. He would have known that his father spanked his mother and that other men around him spanked their wives. But in 2020, the practice of domestic discipline has been all but abandoned for more than half a century and this explains why at first it felt very strange for Robert to spank his wife.
In order to overcome that strange feeling of spanking his wife as a method of discipline, Robert had to abandon the false adult/child paradigm that our humanist culture teaches us and instead embrace the historic and Biblical societal classes of men, women and children. He had to realize that spanking his wife was not him treating her as a child, but rather it was him treating her as a woman, as his wife.
And whether a practice is popular as it once was, or not popular as of today is irrelevant. God’s Word transcends cultural changes and it remains a consistent standard to guide our decisions and behavior in this life.
Another thing that Robert had to realize is that spanking applies to all areas of marriage. It must be incorporated as a way of life, not just something you do in extreme situations. And yes, it is right for a husband to chasten his wife for failure to be 100% submitted to him in the sexual arena. Robert will get more into what that submission looks like in his marriage as he continues his testimony on Biblicalsexology.com.
But as you can see from this first part of his testimony, after 4 months of incorporating domestic discipline into his marriage his wife submits to him in all areas of their marriage including the financial and sexual arenas. She also shows him the respect that men require from their wives.
Our modern society and sadly even the church have robbed men of their God given birthright and responsibilities toward their wives. They have robbed men of the tools God has given them to mold and shape their wives into the glorious wives they can be as they learn to submit to God and their husbands. But as Robert’s story shows, men can be taught to reclaim their birthright and responsibilities toward their wives as well be taught to reincorporate the ancient and Biblical practice of domestic discipline.
And Robert saw the promise of God’s Word realized in his marriage.
“Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby.”