So, I get up this morning to check my email BGR inbox and it is blowing up with several regular readers of mine telling me that I have been doxed.
If you are wondering what it means to be “doxed” here is the definition:
“to publicly identify or publish private information about (someone) especially as a form of punishment or revenge”
An ex-democrat staffer was recently sentenced to 4 years in jail for doxing Republican senators during the Brett Kavanaugh hearing so that people would show up at their homes or call their wives to intimidate them.
Since starting this ministry 5 years ago, I have had multiple people think they have found out who I am. In the first year of my blog there was a flurry of people trying to figure out who I was.
I had one person in 2015 think they found me on Facebook based on this statement I made in my about me page:
“I am a mid thirties,white male. I was born in and lived around south-eastern Michigan for most of my life. I was divorced and remarried and I have children from a previous marriage. Total marriage experience exceeds more than 15 years.
I will give my first name, and that is Larry. According to http://howmanyofme.com – there are approximately 957,652 men in the United States with my first name. So If you think you can some how find out which one of those almost 1 million guys I am, go for it!”
They zoomed in on “south-eastern Michigan”, that my name first name was “Larry”, that I was a Baptist, had 5 children and a wife who was a nurse but now disabled. Of course, they were wrong in who they thought I was. But at that time, I decided to remove that I had lived in south-eastern Michigan just to make it a bit more difficult and avoid the annoyance.
Then the same guy comes back about a year later with another Larry from south eastern Michigan who I supposedly was and he was wrong yet again. But this time I did not point out his mistake, because I did not want him to keep learning from it by playing 20 questions with me.
The first public “outing” of me that went viral was that I was that I really was Matt Perkins, a non-Christian who is a biblical studies scholar who was just trolling people.
Then I was Lawrence Hamm from Pearl River, Louisiana.
So, attempts to dox me are nothing new and something I have had to deal with for years but what happened this weekend was new.
I don’t know if this is the same researcher from 2015 and he or she has been obsessed with finding me for the last four years or if this is a totally different researcher. I am thinking it is someone different because this time he or she did not come to me to get a reaction first, he or she just gave his theory of who I was to another blogger to attempt to expose me. Also, this guy or gal did A LOT more data mining and matching on Facebook than the other guy did. This guy may actually be a professional private investigator.
I think he centered his search on two different things I have talked about. The first was this statement I made last year when I wrote about my caregiving experience with my disabled wife in my article “Biblical Advice For Caregiver Husbands”:
“My wife was a nurse’s aide and then became a nurse and worked for the same hospital system for almost 20 years before she had her car accident at the end of 2012. She struggled with her weight for years and had a gastric bypass in 2011 a little over a year after we were married in 2010 she was my second wife – I had to divorce my first wife in 2009 for adultery. See my article “If We Treated Divorce Like Killing” for my exhaustive study and conclusions on divorce from a Biblical perspective.
The gastric bypass actually caused her to have cardiac issues (yes, it is strange and I did not know gastric bypasses could do that but they sometimes do). She had what appeared to be a mild heart attack as a result of complications from the gastric bypass in early 2011. After this she would have times where she experienced light headedness. She had to get on heart medication to regulate her heart. Eventually she had to step down from her nurse manager position on a surgical floor to just being a regular floor nurse again on a contingent basis. This let her work less hours and set her own schedule.”
Then he took statements I had made in several other articles about by son dropping out, getting his GED and becoming a plumbing apprentice and set out to data mine against Facebook for this criterion.
And then “walla” this researcher finds a Larry in south eastern Michigan who married his nurse wife in 2010, she had a gastric bypass in 2011 and he has 4 boys, a girl and one of his sons is a plumber’s apprentice.
Why I am Addressing this Particular Doxing Attempt?
So, there we have it – BGR unmasked right? Well not so fast. But before I point out some flaws in this latest theory of who I am I want to address why I am going public on this one when I did not address the other attempted doxing attempts in the past 5 years. “It’s because he found you!” – no that is not why.
The reason I am addressing this particular doxing attempt is because unlike the other guys that were found on Facebook before(by this researcher or another I do not know) this time I have had the person they are trying to say I am reach out to me because he was harassed on Facebook yesterday.
He was understandably upset that people had exposed his disabled wife and his 17-year-old daughter online as they were and he is thinking of getting a lawyer to go after both sites in question if the harassment continues and they do not remove the offending pages. While it is still legal technically to dox people over the age of 18 using public sources it is in fact illegal what they did in exposing this man’s 17-year-old daughter.
I sent back to him that he needs to lock down his Facebook better and talk to his wife and kids about it as well to which he replied that he had already done so. I also suggested he take a screen shot and perhaps let his local police know about the harassment he received on Facebook. He is taking many steps today to protect his family because of this assault on them and this is very sad to see.
Debunking This Latest Doxing Attempt
Anyone who has read my blog for any length of time knows that I regularly receive emails from people who give me their stories and then choose some and write blog posts on their questions and concerns. One of the things I do whenever publishing someone’s story is I change their personal details. And the most common personal details I change are how many years married, what year they were married and how many kids they have.
A recent example is a little over a week ago when I published “How Should a Christian Wife Deal with A Cheating Husband?” I published a woman’s story who is a commenter on this blog and goes by the handle “Soul Fruit Sister”. I changed a bunch of details about her story with the number of children involved and that her husband got this woman pregnant before they were married. After I published it she wanted me to change that back to the real situation which was he had a child with a woman while they were separated and so I did that for her.
I did the same thing with own story from the beginning of this blog and in subsequent posts I wrote about it.
I changed the year of my marriage, when my wife had her accident and surgery. I was actually surprised this researcher was able to data mine at that level to find a woman who was nurse, had a car accident and had previously had a gastric bypass. And he was able to actually find someone within the years I mentioned! That was an accomplishment.
I will fully admit this guy or gal is very good at their job. The problem is just as with Soul Fruit Sister and myriads of letters I have written over the years he got the dates wrong because I gave false years and times.
But not only was his dating mining based on faulty dates, but there is a far more important reason his dating mining was wrong. This is something I have held back since the beginning of this blog.
When I started this blog, I knew I was going to be talking a lot about my own marriage in trying to help other men and help couples having better and more Biblical marriages. And because I love my wife despite our problems we have had, I wanted to protect her from public shame. I have seen some husbands shame their wives by name in other discussion forums and would have no part in that. Besides that, I know there are a bunch of crazies out there.
I knew in order to share my experiences as well as being able to talk about my kids I would need to do exactly what I do for others who write me – change the year I was married and also change my number of kids. So, changing the year of marriage was easy. But then what about the number of kids? Should I make it one less or one more? Whoever this person that researched my blog and looked at earlier versions of pages will see I went between 3 and 5 kids in beginning and for a time I took out all the number of my kids. At some points I said 3 kids, then changed to 5 kids and then blanked the number all together. That was me going below and above the number of kids I actually have.
And that brings me to the biggest item that would throw a monkey wrench in this researcher’s work. I have 4 children, not 3 children and not 5 children. Now if I count the child my first wife and I lost that is in heaven (we lost the child early in the pregnancy) I do have 5 children. And often when people ask me how many kids I have I tell them “4 living and 1 in heaven”.
Whoever he is – he can check my entire blog(and older versions of pages as he does) and the comments sections and see that while I have talked about my two older sons, my daughter and recently my youngest son I have never said anything about my 5th child which would be a son. Why? Because I have no living 5th child. The child I have in heaven I do not know the gender of because we lost them before we could find out.
And no, I am not going to mention this poor other guy’s name or expose him or his wife and daughter to any more issues than he is already facing with this.
I will just leave you all with the following interesting statistics from Wikipedia of where I live in south-eastern Michigan since the cat is out of the bag :
“With 4,488,335 people in 2010, Metro Detroit was the tenth largest metropolitan area in the United States, while Ann Arbor’s metropolitan area ranked 141st with 341,847. Metropolitan areas of Southeast Michigan, and parts of the Thumb and Flint/Tri-Cities, are grouped together by the U.S. Census Bureau with Detroit-Warren-Livonia MSA in a wider nine-county region designated the Detroit–Ann Arbor–Flint Combined Statistical Area (CSA) with a population of 5,428,000.”
So, I am now a needle in a much smaller haystack than the entire country. But 5.5 million people across the entire south eastern part of Michigan and all its towns and cities is still a fairly large haystack.
And a few more things I want to mention. I was never a Facebook person before I did this blog. I operated more on discussion forums. I started my first Facebook account specifically for this blog and at the same time I made sure my wife and children strictly locked down their Facebook accounts. So, for whomever is doing this research – he or she won’t be able to data mine my wife’s Facebook looking for another woman who was a nurse, had a gastric bypass and a car accident.
This is one way I know whoever did this did not hack Facebook and they do not work for Facebook because if they did, they would have found the real me based off my Biblical Gender Roles Facebook page because I buy ads and those ads are tied to my payment information. And Facebook has made me confirm my identity multiple times with my phone over the years because of people claiming I was a Facebook troll.
With that being said I am strongly considering dropping my Biblical Gender Roles Facebook page just in case someone in the future at Facebook wants to try and leak my real behind the scenes info from that page or some hacker gets into it.
It really is sad the world we live in both on the alt right and the hard left we have these folks – who are always anonymous themselves, trying to out other anonymous people as a method of intimidation and really social terrorism.
While I will fully admit that doxing occurs both on the alt right and the hard left (and both are wrong) we really seem to see doxing happening more with the hard left in concert with their allies in the tech oligarchies known as Facebook, Twitter and Google. So basically if you say anything that is not accepted by this hard left socialist order – Facebook will ban you, Twitter will ban you and Google will make your search results go away and then the doxers will swoop in to harass you in your personal life.
Over the past year, with every article I have posted on Facebook they get marked as “violating community standards” and I have to go through a process to get them back up for people to see. Even then I think Facebook is lowering my exposure – even when I pay for ads. This is another big reason I think I am just going to drop my Facebook presence from my real Facebook account and page that I started for this blog.
I had one of my regular readers who has been reading on my blog for a few years comment last week that he noticed Google changing where my pages show up. I told him I had noticed that too and a significant drop page in page hits from searches over the last year.
I am hoping that one day the government will expand laws surrounding doxing to put people like this in jail like the congressional staffers who just recently went to jail. It is really is sad that this other person was caught up in this and that my ministry can be harassed in this way when the truth is I am simply teaching what the vast majority of Americans used to believe (like our founders) about the proper way that families, marriage and societies should organized.
And here are few more statistics for people to chew on as far as the numbers of nurses, people who gastric bypasses and and how many plumbers apprentices there are each year.
There are 29 million nurses in the United States,
91 percent of nurses are women.
158,000 people had bariatric surgery in 2011
1.2 million students drop out of high school each year.
Over 500,000 active apprentices each year.
And finally – I am very sorry to the man and his family that have been falsely accused and dragged into this. I am sorry your family is having to suffer because of this.