On the far left we hear “progressive” Christian teachers telling men they need to get more in touch with their feminine sides. They literally encourage men to act more like women, including crying more like women do.

However, on the far right we actually have some masculinity teachers telling men it is unmasculine to cry or shed a tear – ever. Some far right masculinity teachers who claim men should not cry will say if they do cry, it should never ever be in front of women and especially their wives.  They even shame men for crying at the funeral of departed loves ones, their weddings or the birth of their children.

Both sides are wrong.

The far left is wrong in saying that men should allow themselves to express their emotions more as well as their fears and concerns just as women do.

In several passages below, the Bible actually insults men by saying they are acting like women.

“The mighty men of Babylon have forborn to fight, they have remained in their holds: their might hath failed; they became as women: they have burned her dwellingplaces; her bars are broken.”

Jeremiah 51:30 (KJV)

“In that day shall Egypt be like unto women: and it shall be afraid and fear because of the shaking of the hand of the Lord of hosts, which he shaketh over it.”

Isaiah 19:16 (KJV)

“Behold, thy people in the midst of thee are women: the gates of thy land shall be set wide open unto thine enemies: the fire shall devour thy bars.”

Nahum 3:13 (KJV)

Rather than acting more like women, the Bible gives men the following exhortation:

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”

1 Corinthians 16:13 (NASB)

My point here is that the Bible makes it very clear that men are to have greater control over their emotions than women do. Therefore it would be right to say that men should be far less expressive with their emotions than women are.

But then we come to the other extreme. We have the far right masculinity teachers claiming men should never shed a tear, even at the death of a loved one and certainly not in the presence of women.

The problem with this teaching is that such a teaching would condemn the manliest man that ever lived – Jesus Christ!

In John 11:35 (KJV) the Bible says “Jesus wept“. Jesus did this in the context of the death of his friend Lazarus, the brother of Mary and Martha. He saw their sorrow, and even while knowing he would raise Lazarus, their sorrow evoked great sorrow him which he expressed before these women.

And in Luke 19:41 (KJV) the Bible says “And when he was come near, he beheld the city, and wept over it”. Jesus wept before a crowd of both men and women over the destruction he knew was coming to Jerusalem.

The Bible passages we have just shown prove that both extremes on this issue of men crying are wrong.

Should men cry as often as women? Of course not. The Bible shames men for acting like women in any fashion, and crying a lot is a feminine trait, not a masculine one.

However, the Scriptures do tell us in Ecclesiastes 3:4 that there is “A time to weep, and a time to laugh; a time to mourn, and a time to dance”. There is no shame in a man shedding tears of sorrow at the death of a friend or family member and there is no shame in a man shedding tears at his wedding as he exchanges vows with his bride or at the birth of his children.

Real men don’t cry all the time, but they do cry sometimes.