Househusbands Are Unbiblical

While it is not a sin for a man to help his wife out around the house from time to time, it absolutely goes against God’s design for a man’s life ambition to be a househusband while he has a wife that goes out and financially supports him.

God created the man, the male, to image him and thereby bring him glory (1 Cor 11:7).   In Ephesians 5:29 the Bible says men are called to provide for and protect their wives as Christ provides for and protects his church.

He created the woman for the man to be a suitable companion (Gen 2:18), the bearer and caregiver for his children (1 Tim 5:14) and the keeper of his home (Titus 2:5).    He created marriage to be between a man and woman ONLY with the man leading, providing for and protecting the woman (Eph 5:22-33) while the woman submits to the husband serving him as her earthly lord (1 Peter 3:5-6).

Why do certain men desire to be homemakers and care for the children while desiring their wives to be the primary breadwinners? Because of the corruption of sin within them.  Some men may even look masculine on the outside while having very feminine natures on the inside.  The same goes for women looking feminine on the outside but being very masculine on the inside.  But God calls us as men and women to find this corruption of sin.  If we are born into a male body, then we have a certain role to play and we are born into a female body then we have another role to play. 

It is one thing if a man’s wife becomes disabled and he has to step into her role in the home or the husband becomes disabled and the wife has to step in his role as the breadwinner. That is not what we are talking about here. What we are talking about is when a man and woman plan and choose a life where he will be a househusband and she will be the breadwinner they are planning to break model of Christ and the church which they were both created to model in the institution of marriage which God created.

For a man to seek out the role that God specifically gave to woman is a sin against his creator.

A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline

Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts series on BGRLearning.com.

This new 3-part podcast series is not a like any of my previous writings on the subject of Domestic Discipline.  It is not a defense of Domestic Discipline.  I have already done that in my previous posts like “The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline” .  This podcast series is about the practical application of Domestic Discipline.  It is based on my real-world experiences doing personalized mentoring programs with more than 20 husbands over the past 4 years. Most of these husbands never believed their wives would ever accept CDD, but today the majority of their wives do.

How does a Christian man go about introducing Domestic Discipline into his marriage and what techniques actually work?  What kinds of reactions can he expect from his wife as he introduces this into his marriage and how should he respond to his wife’s reactions?  All of these questions and more are answered in this podcast series.

Not only do their wives accept the particular program of domestic discipline that I teach – but through this particular domestic discipline program these husbands have achieved 100 percent submission from their wives.  In other words, they have achieved complete dominion over their wives as God commanded of Adam and all husbands in Genesis 3:16.

And let me be clear what I mean by “100 percent” submission.  I don’t mean their wives are perfect and sinless.  What 100% submission means is these wives have eliminated the phrase “I am not comfortable with that” from their speech to their husbands.  And if they fail to submit or they fail in other duties as wives – they willingly accept Domestic Discipline.

Click on the image at the top or you can click here to go BGRLearning.com to subscribe and listen to this series as well as hundreds of other biblical gender roles related podcasts.

Does God Allow Women to Make Their Own Decisions?

“It seems to me that people who believe in Biblical Patriarchy as you do think that women are incapable of making any decisions.  Why would God give women the human ability to reason as men do if he never intended them to make any decisions for themselves?” This was a question I recently received from one of my readers.

Obviously, the person who wrote me these questions does not believe in Biblical Patriarchy and like many people they have a negative view of it.  So, what does the Bible say about women making decisions? Does it allow women to make decisions?

The Husband is the Head of the Home but the Wife is the Manager of it

The Bible says the following about a husband’s headship over his wife:

“For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV)

God has established three spheres of human authority and they are the family, the church and civil government.   And while no human authority sphere is unlimited its power, the husband’s authority over his wife is the most powerful of all human authorities because his authority over his wife extends into the most personal areas of another person’s life.

But the husband’s very personal authority over his wife’s life does not mean she cannot make any decisions for herself.  In fact, a good wife makes many decisions on a daily basis.

The Bible admonishes women to regard their husbands as their earthly lords in 1 Peter 3:6. But one of the primary ways a wife serves her husband, her master, is by managing the affairs of his home. 

The Bible speaks to the woman’s duty to manage the affairs of the home in the following passage:

I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)

The phrase “guide the house” is an English translation of the Greek word “Oikodespoteo”, which comes from two Greek words “oikos” (house) and “despoteo” (to rule). This literally means to occupy one’s self in the management of a household.  A manager is one who must make decisions.  Therefore, we can rightly say that God does in fact want women to make decisions on a daily basis as they manage the affairs of the home.

In the passage below from the book of Proverbs, the Bible gives us an entire list of examples of decisions that good wives could make on a daily basis:

“10 Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. 11 The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. 12 She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life. 13 She seeketh wool, and flax, and worketh willingly with her hands.

14 She is like the merchants’ ships; she bringeth her food from afar. 15 She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens. 16 She considereth a field, and buyeth it: with the fruit of her hands she planteth a vineyard.

17 She girdeth her loins with strength, and strengtheneth her arms. 18 She perceiveth that her merchandise is good: her candle goeth not out by night. 19 She layeth her hands to the spindle, and her hands hold the distaff.

20 She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.

21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household: for all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She maketh herself coverings of tapestry; her clothing is silk and purple.

23 Her husband is known in the gates, when he sitteth among the elders of the land.

24 She maketh fine linen, and selleth it; and delivereth girdles unto the merchant. 25 Strength and honour are her clothing; and she shall rejoice in time to come.

26 She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness. 27 She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.

29 Many daughters have done virtuously, but thou excellest them all.  30 Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her of the fruit of her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates.

Proverbs 31:10-31 (KJV)

So, as we can see from the above passage from Proverbs, women can make many kinds of decisions.  They can decide what dinners to make and what kinds of clothes they would like to make or buy for their family on a daily basis.  They could decide to sell at a market, fair or online – things they make in their home.  They could decide to use their wisdom and years of experience to teach other women how to be godly wives and mothers by teaching a woman’s Sunday school class at church or writing a woman’s blog.  They could choose to make food or clothing to help the poor and needy around them.  They could organize meals with other women to assist people in their church that are sick or otherwise in need of help.

They could decide to ravish their husband sexually as Proverbs 5:19 exhorts them to do and invite their husband to feast on their bodies as the wife does in Song of Solomon 4:16.

There are so many good decisions that women can and should make on a daily basis.

Man Can Override the Decisions of Woman

The Bible actually dedicates an entire chapter to the subject of women making personal decisions.  It is found in the book of Numbers.

“1 And Moses spake unto the heads of the tribes concerning the children of Israel, saying, This is the thing which the Lord hath commanded.

2 If a man vow a vow unto the Lord, or swear an oath to bind his soul with a bond; he shall not break his word, he shall do according to all that proceedeth out of his mouth.

3 If a woman also vow a vow unto the Lord, and bind herself by a bond, being in her father’s house in her youth;  4 And her father hear her vow, and her bond wherewith she hath bound her soul, and her father shall hold his peace at her; then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she hath bound her soul shall stand.

5 But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her. 6 And if she had at all an husband, when she vowed, or uttered ought out of her lips, wherewith she bound her soul; 7 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her in the day that he heard it: then her vows shall stand, and her bonds wherewith she bound her soul shall stand.

8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her.

9 But every vow of a widow, and of her that is divorced, wherewith they have bound their souls, shall stand against her.

10 And if she vowed in her husband’s house, or bound her soul by a bond with an oath; 11 And her husband heard it, and held his peace at her, and disallowed her not: then all her vows shall stand, and every bond wherewith she bound her soul shall stand. 12 But if her husband hath utterly made them void on the day he heard them; then whatsoever proceeded out of her lips concerning her vows, or concerning the bond of her soul, shall not stand: her husband hath made them void; and the Lord shall forgive her.

13 Every vow, and every binding oath to afflict the soul, her husband may establish it, or her husband may make it void.

14 But if her husband altogether hold his peace at her from day to day; then he establisheth all her vows, or all her bonds, which are upon her: he confirmeth them, because he held his peace at her in the day that he heard them.

15 But if he shall any ways make them void after that he hath heard them; then he shall bear her iniquity.

16 These are the statutes, which the Lord commanded Moses, between a man and his wife, between the father and his daughter, being yet in her youth in her father’s house.”

And now we come to the truth of the matter.    Egalitarians and even many complementarians who hate the doctrines of Patriarchy found in the Bible know that God does in fact allow women to make decisions.  But what they don’t like is that women can and should be held accountable for their decisions by their male heads, whether they be their fathers or their husbands.  They hate that God gives fathers the authority to overrule any decisions their daughters make and especially hate that God gives husbands the authority to overrule or literally void any decisions their wives make. 

Conclusion

While wives can make decisions, they should only make decisions which they do not believe will conflict with their husband’s will in any given matter.

And really, this is a question we should all ask ourselves about each decision we make on a daily basis.  In the book of James, we read the following principle about making decisions:

“13 Go to now, ye that say, To day or to morrow we will go into such a city, and continue there a year, and buy and sell, and get gain: 14 Whereas ye know not what shall be on the morrow. For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away.

15 For that ye ought to say, If the Lord will, we shall live, and do this, or that.”

James 4:13-15 (KJV)

All of us are accountable to the Lord for every decision we make.  As men we can also be held accountable for some decisions by our civil authorities and for other decisions by our church authorities. But in some decisions a man makes, he is accountable only to God.  It is not the same for women. A woman can held accountable for every decision she makes by her father or her husband.   And this is what opponents of the doctrines of Biblical patriarchy hate as it conflicts their humanist ideals of individuality and equality.

The Bible however stands in full opposition to the humanist ideals of individuality and social equality and that is why humanists want to rid it from all areas of our society.

Thankfully though, we have this promise regarding the Word of God:

“For all flesh is as grass, and all the glory of man as the flower of grass. The grass withereth, and the flower thereof falleth away: But the word of the Lord endureth for ever. And this is the word which by the gospel is preached unto you.”

1 Peter 1:24-25 (KJV)

Biden’s Debacle of the Withdraw from Afghanistan

I have not written in some time on my political site, Biblicistreport.com. But I absolutely had to write out my thoughts on this total debacle of a withdraw from of the United States from Afghanistan. Let me just say up front that I agreed with Trump’s decision to get us out of Afghanistan. But as he pointed out in a recent interview with Shaun Hannity of Fox News, there was an orderly way to do it.

In an interview today, President Biden said “the idea that somehow, there’s a way to have gotten out without chaos ensuing, I don’t know how that happens”. Are you kidding us? Does that sound like leadership? Chaos is the absence of leadership.

You can read my full take on this, what Trump said and how I think we could have handled the withdraw in a much more orderly fashion at Biblicistreport.com.

23 Year Old Catholic Woman Seeks Traditional Catholic Man

It is amazing to me how the Lord took this little site I started back in 2014 and how much he has expanded it. And most of this expansion has been just from people asking me for help or suggesting new ministry expansions.

Some years back I had a Christian woman write to me asking if I would start a podcast site and put my material that I write here on that podcast site in verbal form as it was hard for her to read through my posts. So I started that podcast site and the Lord has greatly blessed it. Many of my articles from this site I have turned into podcasts there and now it has over 100 podcasts dealing with the subjects of courtship, marriage, sex and many other things from a Biblical perspective.

Last year I split off many of my articles on sex on to a new BiblicalSexology.com site and the Lord has greatly blessed that ministry as well.

In addition to those areas, my new Instagram ministry which I started about a year and half ago has really blossomed. I actually have more contacts and discussions with people on Instagram then I do through comments here or emails I receive. And my Instagram site just taking off so big is a lot of the reason I have not posted here as much. I actually need to copy many of the posts I have done there back here and to my other BIblicalSexology.com site. They are shorter because of the nature of Instagram and its size limits, but I think they will be a blessing here as well.

It looks like the Lord may be leading me to creating a BGR dating site to allow both single men and women who believe in Biblical gender roles and Biblical patriarchy to find one another. Pray for me as I am building and expanding that new ministry.

In the meantime, before there is a BGR dating site, below is the profile of a young woman who recently reached out to me.

“I am a 23-year-old devout traditional Catholic woman looking for a devout traditional Catholic man. I dress modestly, go to church and pray daily. I believe in traditional biblical gender roles and desire to be a stay-at-home wife and mother as I believe God intends for women.

I am a tall woman (5’11”) with curves and a few extra pounds. Right now, when straightened, my hair reaches to mid breast and is a darker blonde. My eyes are blue with flecks of green and gray and I have been told that I have a “young” face. I typically wear skirts and dresses because they help me feel more feminine and accentuate my naturally feminine features. Because I know it is of interest to men, I will add that my breasts are naturally large and my hips naturally wide and curvy.

The Catholic man I am looking for may attend either Novus Ordo Mass or FSSP Mass but it is important that he does not deny the legitimacy of Vatican II (even if he does not like or prefer the changes that occurred afterwards). Consequently, anyone who attends SSPX will not be considered. Simply put, he needs to be in full communion with Rome. 

I live in the state of Washington.  I am willing to do a long-distance courtship with any man who is a U.S. citizen and I am willing to relocate to where he lives if we were to marry.  But during the courtship process I would want to see him in person at least once weekend a month.  Whether that means he has to fly to my state or he pays to fly me to his state matters not.  I believe paying for travel each month will be a good demonstration of his ability to provide and I do not think longs distance courtships where you rarely see each other in person work well, at least it would not work well for me.”

Traditional Catholic men, please feel to reach out to me either by DM here or by emailing me at biblicalgenderroles@gmail.com if you would be interested in finding out more about this young lady.  She is using me to vet men who respond to this ad, so you need to get through me first before you get to communicate directly with her.

Doug Wilson Is a Complementarian Masquerading as a Biblical Patriarchist

The unfortunate reality is that there are many Christian teachers out there who claim to embrace Biblical patriarchy, when in fact they are simply complementarians in sheep’s clothing.   Doug Wilson is one of those teachers who claims to be a believer in Biblical Patriarchy but essentially, he is a Complementarian when it comes to marriage. I am not saying complementarians are evil people. I used to be one. And I am not saying Doug Wilson is a bad person, or even questioning whether he is a genuine Bible believing Christian – because I believe he is a good Christian man. But what I am saying is this. If you want to learn about the true and historic Christian views of biblical gender roles which are encapsulated in Biblical Patriarchy – do not use the writings of Doug Wilson as your source of what true Biblical Patriarchists believe.

But before I get into why I believe Doug Wilson is a counterfeit Biblical Patriarchist, I first want to review with you the three systems of Biblical interpretation we see in Christianity today as it relates to gender roles.

Biblical Patriarchy is a belief system which reflects the historic Christian view of biblical teachings regarding gender roles.  Is derived from a natural and literal reading of the Biblical texts of both the Old and New Testaments.  This natural and literal reading reveals that God has designed the family unit as a patriarchy or literally “father ruled” institution.  The children obey their parents, and the wife obeys her husband as her earthly lord as the church obeys Christ.   Also, Biblical Patriarchy accepts the Biblical teachings that men are to rule over women not just in the home, but also in the church and civil society. 

Egalitarianism (otherwise known as Christian Feminism) is a philosophy which fully embraces everything secular humanism teaches, minus the atheism.  Because of this, Egalitarians reject much of the Bible’s teachings on patriarchal order and they claim that Christ came to redeem us from the “evils of patriarchy”.   Many Christian Egalitarians are honest in the fact that they reject the concept of Biblical inerrancy knowing their belief system is incompatible with a belief in Biblical inerrancy.  Some attempt to say they still believe in Biblical inerrancy, but to do so they have to utterly mangle many texts in the Bible from their clear and natural readings.

Egalitarians believe women should have equal rights with men, that that they should be able to be pastors and teachers of men in churches and that they should be able to hold authority over men in civil offices.  They believe that marriage is an equal partnership between a man and woman, not a patriarchy.

In my previous article, “The Complementarian Counterfeit”, I stated the following about Complementarianism:

“Complementarianism was started as a reaction to the false teachings of egalitarianism.  The term “Complementarian” was coined by the Council on Biblical Manhood and Womanhood (CBMW) in 1988…

John Piper explains that complementarianism was designed to take the “middle ground” between what he and other Christian leaders saw as “two kinds of errors” in the churches…

In the complementarian view, a husband may only lead his wife by example or suggestions to her, but he may never lead her by commanding her or seeking to control her through coercive methods.  And it is precisely because of the denial that male domination of woman is God’s command, that complementarianism teaches a hollow and weak form of male headship and female submission in the home.

When it comes to the doctrines of the Bible concerning gender roles, there is no “middle ground” and no room for compromise with egalitarianism.   Complementarianism is a counterfeit doctrine of male headship and female submission.”

The “two errors” which pastors like John Piper meant to address with their new “Complementarian” approach to the Scriptures were Egalitarianism and Biblical Patriarchy.  In other words, John Piper and many conservative Bible preaching pastors had come to the position that the historic Christian view of gender roles which Biblical Patriarchy espoused, was in error.  That Christians had misunderstood the Bible’s teachings on gender roles for 2000 years and Complementarians finally got it right in 1988.

But the truth is that Complementarianism was simply a new way of interpreting the Bible to make it better placate our post-feminist society without fully going over to Egalitarianism.  Oh, for sure Piper and many other big complementarian evangelical preachers will claim that they oppose feminism.  But when you really drill down into it, they embrace a great deal of feminist values.  And the truth is they believe they had to.  For them to stay faithful to what the Bible actually teaches and what Biblical patriarchy espouses would have cost them dearly in terms of the membership and offerings.

And now that I have shown you the distinctions between egalitarianism, complementarianism and Biblical patriarchy I can now get to the heart of the matter regarding Doug Wilson.

Why Doug Wilson is a Counterfeit Biblical Patriarchist

In the Scriptures, God has established three main spheres of human authority and those are the family, the church and civil government.  And God has granted the authorities in each of these spheres the power and responsibility to discipline those under their authority.  

The methods of discipline which God allows are different for each sphere of authority.  God grants civil government the power to not only use corporal punishment, but also the power to use capital punishment (Deuteronomy 25:1-3, Romans 13:4).  God does not grant the power of corporal punishment or capital punishment to the church, but rather the church has the power of excommunication (1 Corinthians 5).  God does not grant the power of capital punishment to the family, but he does allow corporal punishment within the family sphere of authority.

Many Christians, including Doug Wilson, would not disagree with parents disciplining their children, either through corporal punishment or other non-physical means.   In fact, Doug Wilson encourages parents to spank their children as long as it done in a loving manner.  In his article “Loving Little Ones 1” [Loving Little Ones 1 | Blog & Mablog (dougwils.com) ]Wilson writes:

“Discipline is corrective, and it is applied for the sake of the one receiving it. It is not punitive, and it is not rendered for the sake of the one giving it.

When you are spanking a child, you are either being selfish or you are being selfless—one or the other. You are doing it because you are exasperated, frustrated, beside yourself, and frazzled, or you are doing it as a fragrant offering to the God of your fathers.”

But then we come to an article written by Doug Wilson that was recently sent to me by one of my readers.  The article is entitled “And Now a Brief Word for the Wife Beaters”.  Below is an excerpt from that article:

“I am far from denying the biblical truth that a rod is for the back of fools (Prov. 26:3Open in Logos Bible Software (if available)). Nor do I deny that a woman could be numbered among such fools. But such a woman would be far gone in her folly, and the only fool bigger than that would be the guy who married her. So before we beat her for her uppity rebellions, I would suggest we flog him for being such an idiot. If he were to object that this is mean-spirited and unjust, I would reply that it sounds to me that he has been influenced by the spirit of egalitarianism. Must be one of those new softie men.

Since the difficulty was apparently found in my #11, let us discuss that for a moment.

The Bible does not teach husbands to enforce the requirement that was given to their wives. Since true submission is a matter of the heart, rendered by grace through faith, a husband does not have the capacity to make this happen. His first task is therefore to love his wife as Christ loved the church. He is to lead by example.”

The key words here are enforce and make. No mortal can force such a thing. It does not come from right-handed power.”

Wilson makes it clear in the article above that he is completely opposed to a husband disciplining his wife in any way, whether it be physically or non-physically.  He denies that a husband has the right to seek to compel his wife’s submission to him by any means and that he may only lead by example. 

He is teaching exactly what Complementarianism teaches, that the husband is a figure head leader to his wife.  As true believers in Biblical patriarchy, we would agree that husbands should lead by example.  But husbands are also compelled by God to lead by disciplining their wives as well. 

In Ephesians 5:25 the Bible commands husbands to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church” and Christ said to his churches in Revelation 3:19 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.    A man that does not rebuke and chasten his wife is not loving his wife as Christ loves his church.  That is clear teaching of the Scriptures.  And that is why Christian husbands who ascribed to the teachings of the Bible for centuries had disciplined their wives both physically and non-physically.  

The Bible may not mandate physical discipline for wives, but it does mandate that a husband use some form of discipline with his wife.  And no Biblical principle or command would disallow a husband from physically disciplining his wife.

We have clearly established from Doug Wilson’s own words that he believes husbands do not have the power to compel the obedience of their wives and that they may only lead by example.  A person who may only lead by example is not an authority at all, but rather they are just a figure head.  Therefore, Wilson has reduced husbands to mere figure head leaders of their wives and not real authorities over them.  And this teaching that a wife’s submission to her husband is voluntary, and may not be compelled from her husband, is a core tenant of complementarianism.  

The Scriptures tell us that wives are to regard their husbands as their earthly lords (1 Peter 3:5-6) and to submit to them “as unto the Lord…in everything” (Ephesians 5:22-24).   There is no other human authority where God commands those under them to submit to them “as unto the Lord” except the husband.  The husband’s authority over his wife is far greater than that of a father’s authority over his children because the husband’s authority is lifelong and he also has sexual authority over his wife.   

The husband’s authority, unlike that of civil authorities and church authorities, is a very personal authority.  No other authority has such control over the personal day to day decisions of another human being.  No other authority has such control over another person’s body.   And that is why the true Biblical teaching of a husband’s authority over his wife is so threatening and scary to Americans and other Westerners who fully ascribe to individualism.

If you talk to Biblical Patriarchists online or in person you will find that a core doctrine they believe in is that of the husband’s responsibility to discipline his wife.  Some might not believe a husband has the God given authority to spank his wife, but they believe that husbands have the right and responsibility to discipline their wives in some form or fashion. 

Doug Wilson, and other complementarians, have taken the husband from being the greatest human authority God ever established (aside from Christ himself) to making the husband the weakest authority.  And in truth, the husband is not really an authority at all, but merely a figure head leader.

I am sure Doug Wilson is a good Christian man just like John Piper is.  But while he may be a good Christian man, Doug Wilson in fact a counterfeit Biblical Patriarchist.

For more on the Biblical case for and historic precedent of wife spanking (aka Domestic Discipline) I would encourage you to read these articles I wrote on the subject:

The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline

A 19th Century Suffragette View of Domestic Discipline

19th Century Judicial Precedents Regarding Domestic Discipline

Are There Any Marriageable Gen Z Men?

“Are there any Gen Z guys out there that follow biblical gender roles and the courtship model for marriage? It seems that the men of my generation are simply not interested in being leaders, providers and protectors for women and having stay at home wives.”  This was part of an email I recently received from a 20-year-old young woman. 

Here is more of her story:

“I have been raised in a conservative Christian and patriarchal home all my life.  All throughout high school I told people that I did not want to be a career woman or go to college.  I told them I wanted to be a keeper at home as I believe God has called women to be.   Since I was a young girl, I always looked forward to finding a godly man who would be my leader, provider and protector and one whom I could serve with my life.

But since graduating high school two years ago, I have been on all the Christian dating sites and I have yet to find a Christian young man in the Gen Z age group (a guy 25 or under) that wants to live a biblical and traditional lifestyle, believes in the courtship model for seeking marriage and makes enough money to provide for a family.

Can you reach out to your followers to see if anyone would be interested in courting me?”

Gen Z men, like men of recent generations before them, have been taught the lies that they cannot provide for a family on their own and that courtship is too old fashioned and the dating model for marriage is better.

But I believe just as in all generations past, that God has reserved a faithful remnant even among Gen Z young men. 

If you are a single Gen Z Christian man, one who believes in Biblical patriarchy, courtship and women being keepers in the home and one who actually makes enough to provide for a family right now – would you leave a comment on this post to encourage women like this young lady who think you are not out there? And if you don’t feel comfortable making public comments (as many of my followers don’t), would you consider emailing me at biblicalgenderroles@gmail.com if you would like to get in contact with this young woman? Perhaps you are a parent or sibling of a man that fits this description – would you comment here or reach out to me via email?

Image Source: freepik.com

Wives, Butt Out Of Your Husband’s Business

It is very common in post-feminist Christendom to hear pastors and other Christian teachers teach that men should make themselves fully accountable to their wives. Men are told they should share all their passwords for their phones, laptops, other devices, social media accounts and bank accounts. Of course women are told to do the same with their husbands as well.

The rationale for this recommendation is that it helps husbands and wives to to defend their marriage against infidelity and other sins that either the husband or wife may be tempted by. And this is not just about sexual fidelity, it is also about things like diet, finances and parenting issues.

While I have a lot of respect for Dennis and Barbara Rainey from Family Life Ministries, this is one area where he follows the modern Christian crowd which has been poisoned by femininist ideology. On his website under an article entitled “Accountability With Your Spouse” Mr. Rainey writes:

“The wise preacher declared, “Two are better than one because … if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up” (Ecclesiastes. 4:9–10). That Scripture shouts the value of mutual support or accountability in marriage.”

Sorry Mr. Rainey, but no – that Scripture does not “shout .. accountability in marriage”. Ecclesiastes 4:9–10, while being widely read at weddings, is not a Bible passage specifically talking about marriage. It is talking about friendship. Now someone might respond to what I just said with the question “Do you think friendship is not part of marriage?” and I would answer that yes I believe friendship is a part of marriage. But there are different kinds of friendship – there is friendship between equals, like two men or two women being friends. And then there are friendships between authorities and those under them. The Bible speaks of this kind of friendship between those who are not equals in James 2:23 where the Bible says “And the scripture was fulfilled which saith, Abraham believed God, and it was imputed unto him for righteousness: and he was called the Friend of God.”.

God refers to a woman as the companion of her husband (Malachi 2:14), but it never refers to her as his equal. Instead, the Bible makes clear that the husband is head (Ephesians 5:23) and master (1 Peter 3:6) of his wife. Therefore the friendship between a husband and wife will be and should be very different than a friendship between say two men or two women.

The Bible does encourage Christians to keep themselves accountable to other Christians in James 5:16 where the it says “Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed. The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”.

So, the question is not whether husbands should keep themselves accountable, because they absolutely should.  The question is whether husbands should keep themselves accountable to their wives.   And the answer to this question is absolutely NOT.

Christian husbands should find other godly Christian men to keep themselves accountable with but certainly not their wives. 

The reason husbands should not allow their wives to be their accountability partners is because such an arrangement breaks the model of marriage that God has designed. God did not design marriage as a partnership, but rather he designed it as a patriarchy.  God designed marriage to model the relationship between God and his people and Christ and his church.  Is Christ subject to his church or his church subject to Christ? We know the answer from the Scriptures (See Ephesians 5:24).

Wives however, are accountable to their husbands as the church is accountable to Christ and it is also good for women to find other godly women to keep themselves accountable with as well (see Titus 2:3-5).

Am I Saying Husbands and Wives Should Not Communicate At All?

Affirming the Biblical the truth that a husband making himself morally accountable to his wife breaks the model of the headship of Christ over his church does not mean that husbands should not communicate with their wives about their daily lives. Husbands should try to communicate their work schedules with their wives so that their wives can plan meals and other family events around the husband’s work. And while a husband does not have to reveal the complete family financial picture to his wife, he should communicate on a regular basis how much money the wife has to work with as she manages the domestic needs of the home. Husbands and wives also need to talk about things going on with their children.

And a husband must remember that while he is not morally accountable to his wife, she is in fact morally accountable to him. And that requires him to communicate with her on a regular basis to hear what she has been doing in her daily life.

Am I Saying Husbands Should Not Ask Their Wives For Forgiveness When They Sin Against Them?

If I had a dime for every time a woman wrote me with the comment “You know husbands are sinners too!” I would be a rich man. Of course husbands are sinners. The Bible says in Romans 3:23 “For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God” and that “all” includes both men and women. The only person to ever walk this earth and be sinless was Jesus Christ.

But to you ladies who always write me that husbands are sinners too, do you not realize that God knew that when he told women in Ephesians 5:23-24 “For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing”.

God was saying to wives – “I know your husband is sinner just like you, but I want you to submit to him anyway. I want you to model the submission of the Church to Christ toward your husband, even though your husband is not sinless like Christ”.

I say all that to acknowledge the fact that yes husbands will sometimes sin against their wives. And when they sin against their wife, they need to ask God and their wife for forgiveness. A husband does not ask his wife for forgiveness of a sin against her because he is morally accountable to her, but rather he asks her for forgiveness because he is morally accountable to God and God wants him to seek the forgiveness of those he has sinned against.

In 1 Peter 3:7 the Bible says a man’s prayers may be hindered because of his mistreatment his wife and in Luke 17:3-4, Christ encouraged Christians to repent of their sins toward one another and for the offended party to receive that repentance and forgive the person for their offense.

Your Husband Does Not Have To Ask Your Forgiveness For Sins Not Directly Against You

Many Christian wives today see themselves as their husband’s priestess whom he must come to and confess his daily transgressions. Ladies you are not your husband’s confessor! Your husband must confess all his sins to God and only those sins to you which are directly against you. And yes if he has a male accountability partner, he may confess his sins to them, but he is not asking them for forgiveness but rather keeping them informed so they can pray for him and so he can receive encouragement to do better.

Just Because You Think It Is Sin, Does Not Make It Sin

A lot of wives today try to turn everything they think their husband does wrong into a sin against them. Whether it be things he does that they think she shouldn’t do, or things he does not do that they think he should – wives have a bad habit of assembling lists of sins in their minds that they think their husbands are committing.

Ladies listen up and listen good. You are not the spiritual authority of your home. You do not determine what is and is not sin. But rather it is God and the human spiritual head God has appointed over you, your husband, that determine what is sin in your home. Let me clarify that last part so it cannot be twisted. I am not saying that if your husband commands you to murder someone or have a threesome of with one of his guy friends from work that he can say those things are not sin and you must do it. Nor am I saying he may not actually be committing sin when you think he is.

But when I say that your husband does determine what is and is not sin in your home I mean that God has appointed him the spiritual interpreter and applier of the Scriptures for you as his wife. In 1 Corinthians 14:35 the Bible says of wives “And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home”.

That means if the Bible does not directly speak to something, but your husband applies Scriptural principles and determines a rule against or allowance for an activity – his rule for you is law. And if you break the law of your husband, you break the law of God.

Wives the conclusion of the matter is this – butt of his business and leave your husband to God.

Photo Source: Freepik.com

The Greatest Threat to Feminism is Patriarchy loving SAHMs

The young woman pictured above is Madison, otherwise known as @thereservedwife.  I came across a video she did on Tik Tok and it was awesome! She talked about how she just loves to do all the cooking and cleaning in her home.  She also talked about how feminists by the hundreds come on her videos telling her how she is “wasting her life” and “setting women back decades”.  And I love how at the end of the video she tells her feminist detractors that she was engaged at 18, married at 19, pregnant at 20 and gave birth to her first child at 21.  And then to really stick it to her feminist detractors, she adds that she is pregnant with her second child and barefoot in the kitchen.

I also looked up another video where she talked about her background a bit and she mentioned that she did not go to college, had no plans to go to college, because it would have saddled her future husband with debt and would have been a waste of time because she would not be using it as a stay-at-home mom. 

In many ways this woman sounds just like my 19 year old daughter who just graduated from high school. I showed her Madison’s video and she was very encouraged and blessed by it as she has been by so many other young Christian SAHMs who are now taking a stand for God in this way.

SAHMs like Madison are a grave threat to feminism.  Why? Not just because she is a SAHM, but because she is SAHM by conviction.  She was not forced to be a SAHM, she chose the life and actually promotes the lifestyle to other women.  Not only is she an SAHM, but she also believes patriarchy is good thing.

Feminists can easily dismiss men teaching about the need for women to return to their traditional place in the home as a “self-serving” exercise.  But they cannot dismiss the myriads of young women who are now choosing the SAHM lifestyle and those who have very happy and fulfilling lives as a result.  And that is why godly women like Madison who are Bible believing SAHMs and support patriarchy are such a threat to our post feminist culture.

You can find her video here.

Christian Wives Will You Take the Sexual Submission Challenge?

Below is an excerpt from a comment that I recently received from a woman calling herself Elyse.

“I work full time, have two young kids so I totally get the “I’m so tired” shtick. But hear me out. I’ve recently decided to conscientiously submit to my husband better in all of life and that includes sexually. I let him know that I’m ready to submit to him in all ways including the bed and that my body is his. Surprisingly, this has had an amazing impact on our marriage as a whole…”

To read the rest of her story as well as my take on it and my challenge to Christian wives see my full article on BiblicalSexology.com.