What follows is Katie from Oregon talking about herself and the kind of husband she is looking for:
“I’m a 24-year-old non-denominational Christian woman from Oregon. I could not move too far from Oregon.
I’m a virgin and intend to stay that way until marriage. I have no debt, no tattoos and no piercings. I’m about 5″4 and slender, with long brown hair.
I believe my role as a wife is to be a helpmeet to my husband, and mother to our children and a keeper at home. And I believe this includes being under my husband’s authority.
I believe in courting. My excellent Dad passed away two years ago, but I’m sure my older brother would be happy to oversee.
I was brought up in a home with my father as provider and head and my mother as a stay-at-home wife and mother. I have six siblings and we were all homeschooled.
I am working on gaining domestic skills such as sewing. I can cook but I can still improve quite a bit.
As far as what kind of man I’m looking for, I would say a non-denominational Christian man who believes in a patriarchal relationship, someone who is able to support a wife either now or within a year.
I’m open to courting someone up to 35 years old.
I’m hoping for a man with an earnest desire to lead. A man who reads The Word and forms his opinion on what Scripture says and not necessarily always with what his preacher says. Someone who wants to lead his wife and who looks to God for his own guidance.
Finally, I am looking for a Christian man who holds to my same beliefs regarding not celebrating holidays.”
If you are a Christian man living in or around Oregon and you believe you match what Katie is looking for in a potential husband please email me at email@example.com and be sure to include the subject line “Regarding Katie from Oregon”.
Also gentlemen – don’t just tell me you are interested and ask for her contact info. You need to go through me first. That means telling me about yourself. Important things to include are your Christian faith and beliefs, your age, your occupation and where you live. And include anything else that you believe would interest Katie about you.
Then I will share your information with Katie and discuss with her whether or not she is interested in speaking further with you. And if she is interested, I will give her your email for her to get in touch with you.
Many women today believe it is absolutely righteous for them to be jealous of their husbands. And they are even backed in their jealousy toward their husbands by many modern Christian preachers, teachers and counselors.
But such a teaching, that it is right for women to be jealous over their husbands, is found nowhere in the Scriptures. In fact, the Scriptures show the very opposite.
A woman entertaining and acting upon jealous feelings toward her husband is a sin because her jealousy is a complete rejection of God’s design of the masculine sexual nature and God’s allowance for polygamy.
A Husband’s Jealousy Over His Wife Is Righteous
In Ezekiel 16:38 (KJV) we read “And I will judge thee, as women that break wedlock and shed blood are judged; and I will give thee blood in fury and jealousy”. A husband’s possessive jealousy over his wife images God’s jealousy over his wife Israel and it is a righteous and holy type of jealousy.
The Husband Exclusively Owns His Wife, the Wife Does Not Own Her Husband
The Bible says the following in Deuteronomy 22:22 (KJV):
“If a man be found lying with a woman married [Hebrew: “baal” as pronoun – “owned”] to an husband [Hebrew: “baal” as noun “Master/Owner”], then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.”
This principle of the husband’s mastery over his wife is reinforced in the New Testament as well in 1 Peter 3:5-6 (KJV):
“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord [Greek “kurios” Master/Owner]: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”
In the Scriptures, for a woman to be married means for her to owned by a husband. He owns her, she does not own him.
This is why the Bible allows husbands to have more than one wife (Polygyny),but forbids wives to have more than one husband (Polyandry). Regarding men taking second wives the Scriptures state the following:
“If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish”
Exodus 21:10 (KJV)
The Bible uses two different words for ownership. The Greek Word “heautou” always means exclusive ownership while the Greek word “idios” can mean someone being owned by another or someone having shared access to someone or something. Consider these uses of “idios”:
“For Jesus himself testified, that a prophet hath no honour in his own [idios] country.”
John 4:44 (KJV)
“Who art thou that judgest another man’s servant? to his own [idios] master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.”
Romans 14:4 (KJV)
Now let’s consider the following New Testament passage which so many Pastors today wrongly teach as husbands and wives mutually owning one another:
“Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own [heautou] wife, and let every woman have her own [idios] husband.”
1 Corinthians 7:2 (KJV)
When we consider the fact that the husband is the master and owner of his wife and the fact that God uses the word for exclusive ownership – “heautou” – when it comes to a man’s ownership over his wife – yet he uses the word idios which when used with masters means the very opposite – “owned” we see a very different picture than what is told to us in many pulpits today.
But while the husband is his wife’s master, she is not his slave. She is his wife. Exodus 21:10 as well as 1 Corinthians7:3-5 show us that a wife is to have shared access to her husband’s provision, protection and his body in the bed.
Many Christian women today comfort themselves in their possessive jealousy over their husbands by saying “God only made one wife for the first man”. Yet they ignore the fact that God made the second man marry his sister.
The fact is in order to understand God’s full design for marriage we must look at the complete revelation of God from Genesis to Revelation. Only when we do this will we will then understand that a man having one wife as well as a man marrying his sister were temporary. That later in the law of Moses God would take away his temporary allowance for sibling marriage while at the same time expanding on his allowance for polygamy. And God never removed his allowance for polygamy in the New Testament no matter how much many Christians would like to believe he did.
The evidence is all over the Bible – women do NOT have a right to be possessively jealous over their husbands but husbands absolutely have a right to be possessively jealous over their wives.
A wife’s jealousy over her husband’s thoughts or glancing at other women or liking certain actresses in movies or TV can cause a lot of problems in marriage. It is only when a wife’s sinful jealousy is confronted by both herself and her husband that men can be free to exercise their full masculine nature.
And what does a husband fully exercising his masculine polygynous nature look like? Does it mean he runs out and gets another wife? In most cases the answer is no – he is not going to do that. In 21st century America, it is rare for husbands to act on their right to take additional wives. It is a difficult life not only for financial reasons but also because of our societal condemnation of polygamy.
But here is what a man being free to fully exercise his God give masculine polygynous sexual nature will most likely look like. He won’t go out and get another wife – but he may ask his wife to engage in sexual role play acting like she is another woman. He might feel free to watch movies and TV shows with actresses he likes where before he would worry about incurring the jealous rage of his wife. He won’t have to look at the ground when he goes to the mall or especially the beach because he is afraid his wife might see him enjoying the beauty of other women around him.
Possessive Jealousy Verses Envious Jealousy
As I have shown throughout this article, possessive jealousy by a woman toward her husband is always wrong because this kind of jealousy reflects a rejection of God’s design of masculinity and marriage.
But there is another type of jealousy, envious jealousy, which God was attempting to provoke in his wife Israel. In the context of speaking about his first wife Israel (whom he divorced for adultery) God said this about his new bride the Church:
“I say then, Have they stumbled that they should fall? God forbid: but rather through their fall salvation is come unto the Gentiles, for to provoke them to jealousy.”
Romans 11:11 (KJV)
God in taking the church (a new spiritual body made up of believing Jews and Gentiles) was seeking to provoke his old wife (ethnic Jews – Israel) to envious jealousy. His goal is for the Jews who rejected him to see how well he treats the church so that Israel (ethnic Jews collectively) will one day want him back as her husband. And this is a way that wives can totally transform their possessive jealousy into an envious jealousy that drives them to be better wives to their husbands.
But to explain how women can do this I need to first give a brief review of love in marriage.
A husband’s love for his wife in the form of his leadership, provision, and protection towards her is unconditional. She does not have to earn that – he committed these things to her on the day he took her as his wife.
But most women confuse Agape love (committed love) with Phileo love (feelings love) and Eros love (sexual love). A woman does not have earn her husband’s committed love, but she very much has to earn his Phileo and Eros love by what she does toward him.
This is why the Bible commands that husbands are to be ravished (sexually intoxicated) by their wives in Proverbs 5:19. And this command requires the participation of both the husband and the wife. A husband cannot be ravished by a prudish wife and a wife cannot ravish a husband who ignores her attempts to ravish him.
So here is how women can transform their possessive jealousy into an envious jealously which fuels positive change in their marriage. Instead of being mad at him for checking out that woman in the mall – the ravishing wife takes what she saw and offers to role play being that woman in bed with her husband at home. Or maybe she sees some sexual acts in a movie her and her husband are watching and sees that he likes it – maybe later than evening or another night she seeks to recreate what they saw that he likes.
My point is that a woman’s jealousy can be used for good or for evil. And women should redirect and harness their jealousy for the good of their husbands and their marriages.
Why keep speaking on Polygamy?
A lot of my traditional Christian followers write me wishing I would stop talking about Biblical polygamy. It makes them uncomfortable.
I consider myself a traditional Christian. But unlike many traditional Christians today, my traditional beliefs are not based in 1950s American values.
My beliefs are based upon traditional values which started with the teachings and law God gave to Moses more than 3500 years ago.
And I fully recognize the progressive revelation of God and the fact that in the New Testament the Civil and Ceremonial laws of Israel are replaced with the new law of Christ. But the moral law of the Old Testament remains and acceptance of it is crucial for us to understand God’s view of marriage and sexuality.
Go to BGRLearning.com to listen to hundreds of podcasts on topics such as gender roles, marriage and sexuality from a Biblical perspective.
You don’t have to be a jock to be a godly masculine man. Nerds can also be godly masculine men as well.
Jocks are focused on building their physical capabilities and are often physically talented. Nerds are focused on building their mental capabilities and are often highly intelligent and creative.
God created two major variations of masculinity – the Warrior and the Wiseman.
Jocks are the Warrior variant and Nerds are the Wiseman variant.
A man who has the Warrior variant of masculinity will be drawn to things like sports, body building, hunting or the military. And a man who has the Wiseman variant will be drawn to things like history, music, literature, math, science and computers.
Both the Warrior and Wiseman may make great business entrepreneurs, politicians or military leaders but will use different strengths to excel in these areas.
Many men exhibit attributes of both the Warrior and Wiseman as they should. But each man is either more of a Warrior or more of a Wiseman in his strengths and attributes.
King David was a Warrior and built his kingdom with his sword. In Psalms 144:1, David said “Blessed be the LORD my strength, which teacheth my hands to war, and my fingers to fight”.
David’s son, King Solomon, was a Wiseman who built his kingdom with his mind. The Bible says in 1 Kings 4:29 “And God gave Solomon wisdom and understanding exceeding much, and largeness of heart, even as the sand that is on the sea shore.”
For a man to be a truly godly masculine man he needs to cultivate at least some of the qualities of both the Warrior and the Wiseman.
A Warrior cannot lead without gaining some knowledge and wisdom and a Wiseman cannot lead without having some of the firmness and strength of the Warrior.
Which man are you? The Wiseman or the Warrior?
Subscribe to BGRLearning.com to listen to hundreds of podcasts dealing with the Biblical view of what constitutes masculinity.
3000 years ago, the Bible declared in Proverbs 31:10 “Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” In other words, long before feminism infested and poisoned every part of our modern society it was hard for a man to find a woman who thought and acted as God wants wives to.
So why was it hard even 3000 years ago for a man to find a virtuous woman? The answer is one word – sin. Sin corrupts the perfect masculine and feminine human natures that God created in Eden.
Sin corrupts us both mentally and physically. It also corrupts us differently as men and women. Sin is why we get sick and why we age and it is why we will eventually die. It is why people have mental illnesses including issues with depression and anxiety.
Women tend to suffer from some common corruptions of their feminine natures by sin. Women typically are affected by depression and anxiety issues at a much higher rate then men are.
God created women as feelings-based beings, rather than duty-based beings as men are. And sin corrupts the emotions of women causing them to fail in their duties as wives, mothers and keepers of their homes.
This is why the vast majority of women need their husband to love them as Christ loves his church by washing their spots and wrinkles, teaching them, rebuking them and chastening them in order for them to become the glorious wives God wants them to be.
Single Christian men – the Scriptures declare that it is nearly impossible to find a woman who will come to you prepackaged as a good wife. If you are looking for a woman that has everything in her life together, is disciplined and has her emotions completely in control you may find yourself one day being a 40-year-old virgin.
Are there single women who are not yet everything a good wife should be? Women who love God, believe they must live by his Word, believe in male headship, believe in women being keepers at home and aspire to become good wives one day with their help of their husbands and God? Yes. And those are the women Christian men should be looking for.
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”
Ephesians 5:25-27 (KJV)
Virtuous women are rarely found that way. It is only after years of washing, teaching, rebuking and chastening by their husbands that that most women achieve this noble status.
Would you like to listen to hundreds of podcasts about what the Bible says regarding masculinity, femininity, courtship, marriage, sex in marriage and many other gender related topics?
Go to BGRLearning.com and subscribe today!
The Bible commands that husbands are to be ravished by their wives in Proverbs 5:19. To fulfill this command of God requires the participation of both the husband and the wife. Simply put, a man cannot be ravished by an un-ravishing wife.
Thankfully, the Bible not only gives the command that husbands are to be ravished by their wives, but it also provides an entire book of the Bible with examples of erotic behavior that teaches wives how to ravish their husbands.
The Song of Solomon is a book of erotic poetry which uses ancient middle eastern euphemisms to describe not only the bodies of the husband and wife but also sexual acts which the two lovers want to do with each other.
In this three-part podcast series, I first talk about WHY God wants women to become ravishing wives and then I give a very detailed guide from the sexual euphemisms of the Song of Solomon for HOW women can become ravishing wives.
I also talk about the six sexual categories of wives – the frigid, the submissive, the romantic, the nympho, the manipulative and the ravishing. And I explain why only one of these categories of wives is following God’s template for sex in marriage. A woman first needs to determine what category she is starting from before she can make the necessary changes to become the wife she needs to be to her husband in the sexual arena.
TRIGGER WARNING: This series will be extremely offensive to those who adhere to the modern feminine romantic view of sex. It will also be offensive to some traditional Christians who think the quality of sex in marriage is unimportant and we need not as Christians discuss such matters in so great detail.
Click on the link in my bio to subscribe to BGRLearning.com and listen to this 3-part series on how to become a ravishing wife. My podcast site also has hundreds of other podcasts related to gender roles, marriage and sex.
This series is also available for single women as well to help them prepare for how to become ravishing wives once they marry.
“Should a man attempt CDD with a woman that has serious mental illness?”, “Is it ok to begin implementing CDD on my honeymoon or should I wait?” and “Is it ok to use bondage as part of CDD?” These were some of several great follow up questions that husbands emailed me after listening to my new podcast “A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline”.
In this follow-up podcast I answer these listener questions and several others that were sent to me. You definitely need to listen to the first 3-part guide on CDD before you listen to this podcast as this is really an add on to that.
Sadomasochism is a word used to represent two corruptions of the human nature by sin, sadism and masochism. In this article I wrote for Biblicalsexology.com, I show how sadism and masochism are actually a perversion of the God given desires of man to dominate his wife and the woman to be dominated by her husband.
The sad truth is that there are many Christian marriages, marriages built on the principles of Biblical patriarchy as well as the Biblical principles of Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), that have fallen prey to this perversion of sadomasochism.
I have read articles elsewhere online about sadomasochism from a Christian perspective, but none of them compare and contrast the biblical practices of CDD and dominant sex with sadomasochism. In my article I clearly articulate the two styles of sex which God allows in marriage which are affectionate sex (i.e. making love) as well as dominant sex with the sinful practice of sadomasochistic sex.
Why should a Christian wife be receptive to Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) and rough sex from her husband? Where does the Bible support Christian Domestic Discipline? Where does the Bible allow men to have rough sex with their wives? What should a wife expect when her husband first implements CDD? What should she expect when he first has rough sex with her? Is there an intersection between CDD and rough sex? What are the Biblical limits for CDD and rough sex? How is CDD different from BDSM?
In this podcast, “A Wife’s Guide to Receiving Domestic Discipline and Rough Sex”, I answer all those questions that Christian wives may have about CDD and rough sex in marriage.
In this new article I wrote for BiblicalSexology.com, I tackle the common but false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 which states “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”. For decades, to appease our post-feminist culture, this passage has been used to teach the false doctrine of the sexual equality of husbands and wives in marriage.
In this article I prove from the original Greek language of 1 Corinthians 7:2 as well as other Scripture passages on the relationship of the husband toward his wife, that the husband and wife do NOT exclusively own one another sexually. The husband has exclusive sexual ownership over his wife, the wife does not have this over her husband. I show that this passage does not prohibit polygamy, but rather it allows it.
And I also show why the common false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 is part of a larger effort to elevate a woman’s power over her husband, something God never gave her.
You can read the full article here at BiblicalSexology.com.