motherhood

Women’s ovaries don’t agree with Feminism

/ biblicalgenderroles / 12 Comments

Biological Clock

“The biological reality that female fertility peaks in the teens and early 20s can be difficult for many American women to swallow, as they delay childbirth further every year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. In the District, the average age of initial childbirth was 26.5 years in 2006, up 5.5 years since 1970, the highest jump in the country…

“While we may not be mature enough to conceive at a young age, nor should we, that is still when the body is most adept at conception and carrying a baby,” says Claire Whelan, program director of the American Fertility Association. “Our biological clock has not kept pace with our ability to prolong our life spans.” Stillman agrees, pointing out that research about advanced maternal age and motherhood today is clear: The older you get, the more difficult it is to get pregnant and the higher the chance of miscarriage, pregnancy problems such as gestational diabetes and hypertension, and chromosomal abnormalities such as Down syndrome, among other concerns…

“Society has changed, ” says Stillman, “but the ovaries will take another million years or two to catch up to that.””

These statements were taken from an article in the Washington post by Carolyn Butler entitled “Ovaries have not adjusted to many women’s decision to delay having children”.

You can read the article in its entirety here:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2010/02/22/AR2010022203639.html

While I strongly disagree with many conclusions and opinions in this article, the biological statements of fact are indeed accurate.

We agree there needs to be an adjustment, we just disagree about where the adjustment needs to be made

In the article, one of Carolyn Butler’s contributors stated that “Society has changed” but that basically women’s ovaries need to evolve to our societies’ desires.  This is the height of arrogance toward our God and creator.

What never occurs to modern women, is maybe, just maybe, we need to “adjust” as a society and return to respecting a woman’s most important role in our society, being wives and mothers.

What all societies knew for thousands of years and has now been all but buried in our society is admitted in this article:

“While we may not be mature enough to conceive at a young age, nor should we, that is still when the body is most adept at conception and carrying a baby”

Newborn baby

Of course before they admit this extremely important biological fact, they have to put their value judgment in about maturity, but they cannot escape the biological FACT that women bear the most children, and the healthiest children from the teenage years to the early 20s. After the early 20s miscarriages, birth defects and all kinds of other issues come into play, besides the fact that it is simply harder to get pregnant.

The maturity argument

Dennis Prager, a syndicated radio talk show host has addressed this “maturity argument” many times. Dr. Prager states things like “marriage breeds maturity” and “after marriage having children breeds even more maturity” and he is absolutely right.

In addition to the fact that marriage does mature people, and so does having children, he talks about the need for people to get married younger and have children younger as they used to in the pre-modern era.

I would add to what he has said that as parents in the 20th and 21st centuries we have messed up (myself include in some ways). Each generation of parents over the last century has grown softer and softer on our children.

We hear people say things like, “we have to let children be children”, which basically means that our children have little to no real life responsibility until they reach 18, besides keeping up with their schooling in most cases. Even then we extend the childhood years with college, where they can party and have more fun for about 4 years before they graduate at 22 and are forced for the first time in their life to take on the full responsibilities of being an adult.

In pre-modern times, the idea of a child hood experience with absolutely no responsibility was a very short period. By the time children were 6 or 7 they were being taught the realities of life.

Boys hunted with their dads at a very young age, and girls learned to cook and make clothing at a very young age. By the time most children reached the age of 10, they knew what a hard day’s work was, the boys knew about hunting, farming and fighting, and the girls knew about caring for infants (helping their mother, or cousins or aunts) and they had seen many births. These girls were excited about the day when they would have their first period, and they were excited about when they would be able to marry and have children (usually around 13 or 14).

God created woman’s ovaries the way they are, and they are not going to “evolve” or “adjust”

Most Christians believe that God created and designed human beings perfectly. That means a woman’s ovaries, and her reproductive peeks as well as her eventual reproductive decline were perfectly designed by God.

So we ought to reject this idea that women’s ovaries just need to evolve to the life choices of modern women (and as Christians we know they won’t evolve or change). The fact is that as a society, we have made policies, laws and other accommodations that completely go against God’s design, whether it be in marriage, the family, and especially in how we come to women’s reproductive issues.

God designed a woman’s body to be bearing children at a young age. I stated in a previous article that the vast majority of Biblical Scholars believe that Mary, the mother of Jesus probably had him at about age 14. This was the normal age that most women had children in pre modern times. I completely realize that this is appalling to most westerners, to think of a 14 year old girl having a baby.

I have a 12 year old daughter, and I could not imagine her having a child in just 2 years.

But in recent years I have had to really come to the conclusion that not all our western values, or even our American values, match with God’s design.

Before we decided as a society that women were not mature enough to have children till they are in their mid-20s, almost all human civilizations knew when it came to women producing, strong and healthy children that “the earlier, the better” was the best way to go.

A woman’s most important function in society

pregnant belly

Before the rise of modern feminism in the mid 1800’s, virtually all civilizations throughout history knew that a woman’s most important function in society was as a wife and mother. I link wife with mother, because societies also realized that women having children out of wedlock, was not good for society.

God’s design was that women would have children with the confines of marriage so that the mother would have protection and provision for the children she would bare.

Whether you are a Christian or not, the facts are unescapable. If women stopped having children, the human race would die out.

Not only do we need women to have children, we need them to have healthy children, strong children and well-loved and care for children. This goal is best achieved by women marrying and having children at a young age.

This completely conflicts with the values and thoughts of our modern society but this is how God designed the world to be.

But women are still having babies, just later in life

Some have responded that there is nothing to be concerned about. After all, women are stilling having babies, just later in life. But the unpopular truth is that woman who have children later in life tend to have fewer children.

In his book “What to expect when no one’s expecting”, author Jonathan Last states gives some startling facts on the coming fertility crisis. To summarize what he says in the book, a society needs women to be having on average 2.1 children in their lifetime, just to keep the population level from dropping. The way they come up with 2.1 is, you obviously need each woman to have two people, one to replace mom, and one to replace dad.

But the .1 comes from the fact that some woman are incapable of having children, as well as the fact that some children dies before they marry and have children of their own. So basically we need a certain about of women to have 3 children to make up for the women who can’t have any children.

America’s fertility rate has already dropped below the 2.1 replacement level, and we are now at 1.93. The only reason our population continues to experience modest growth is because of immigration. Many European countries are even lower than America’s fertility rate.

Mr. Last says that in 1970, the world fertility rate was 6.0. It now sits at 2.52 and continues to decline as less developed nations use more birth control and become more westernized.

While I think Mr. Last offered some great statistics in this book, he like many conservatives did not have the courage to take on the true source of this problem – modern feminism and woman’s rights.

In fact he offers no real solutions in the book, but only shows the problem, and it is a real problem. It is not a liberal or conservative issue, it is not a Christian or non-Christian issue, it is simply an issue of math. We are not having enough children because women are delaying having children so long.

You can find the book on Amazon at:

http://www.amazon.com/What-Expect-When-Ones-Expecting/dp/1594036411

Who cares if the population declines?

I have seen people online, mostly liberal, that recognize these facts that world fertility rates are indeed falling, and they think it is a good thing. After all – man is menace to the planet then we have the whole “urban sprawl” problem. Thy population bomb myth was debunked years ago. The only reason we feel more crowded is because we have chosen to crowd ourselves in cities. If you go a few miles outside any major city and suburban area, you will see millions of acres of uninhabited land.

As Christians God has commanded us to “be fruitful and multiply”. He did not just command us to replace ourselves (have two kids), he commanded us to “multiply”. That means we should be having at least four children per husband and wife.

The non-religious problem with population decline is that economies are based on populations growing – not shrinking. When populations decrease, it decimates towns, cities, states and countries.

One of the dirty little secrets of why we are having all the debt issues in the United States is because our population is not growing at the rate it once did. If we had the population growth we once did, we would not be having the Social Security Crisis we are now currently facing.

Am I saying a woman’s only value is in her reproductive capability?

I am not saying a woman’s only value is in her reproductive capability. But a woman’s most important function biologically (and Biblically I might add), is the bearing and caring for children – her body is perfectly designed for this task. My heart goes out to women who are barren – to use the Biblical term. My second wife is one of these women.

While my first wife was extremely fertile (we had several children together before we were divorced). My second wife was never able to conceive, but her heart’s desire was to have children, as should be the desire of every woman who knows her creator’s design. Now she is a great step mother to my five children. A woman has value in other areas as well, whether she is artistic, or musically inclined, or intelligent and well read, but her abilities in other areas must always take a back seat to her primary biological function of motherhood.

So what is the answer to this crisis?

Am I saying I need to go out and find a husband for my daughter who is 12 year old as I write this in August of 2014? No. But my reason for this is not because I believe my daughter would be wasting her life if she did as women earlier in history did, and married young.

The reason is simply because of the culture she has been raised in it would be too traumatic for her since she has not been raised her whole life preparing for marriage at a younger age as women of old were prepared.

But let me give a scenario that could happen in the future.  What if a Christian man from my Church or another church in my area approached me to court my daughter when she was say 15 or 16? Let’s say he was in his mid 20’s and he was a successful software developer or mechanical engineer making a good living? What if he had a home prepared and could show how he could support my daughter? If I checked him out and met with his friends and family and his church elders and they confirmed that he was a good Christian man would I consider letting my 15 or 16 year old daughter marry him? Yes I would definitely consider that.

In most states marriage is allowable at the age of 16 with parental consent. New York actually allows marriage at the age of 14 with parental consent, and some other states allow marriage at 15 with parental consent.

This what I believe Christian parents should be doing.

Our Christian sons have a different responsibility, Biblically speaking than our Christian daughters.

The primary responsibility that God has designed men for is – to lead in society, the church and the family. Men are built to work, to provide for their families, and they are built to protect them.

The primary responsibility that God designed women for was to be wives and mothers. Women are meant to come along men as soon as possible and bare and raise as many children as they can.

Ours sons should NOT be marrying before they can provide for a wife and family. This would mean that a man should not marry until he has steady work, and a home(or at least apartment). Some men may not be college material, so these young men should be encouraged to take up a skilled trade.

Other young men who are intelligent, should be strongly encouraged to attend and finish college so that they can provide to the best of their abilities for their future wife and children.

Our daughters on the other hand, do not have the responsibility to look for how they will provide for themselves, this is their future husband’s job. God designed our daughter’s to be wives and mothers first and foremost. They should be encouraged to seek out older men(preferably mid 20s) that are well established and can provide for them and their children. As Christians we should be teaching our daughters to seek out good, Godly men that will lead them, provide for them, and protect them.

So while it is abhorrent to many modern Americans, both conservative and liberal, I would see no problem with the idea of my daughter when she is 15 or 16, meeting and marrying a good Christian man(say 23 or 24) who is successful in his business endeavors and who is committed to his church and his God. There is nothing evil, or immoral about such an arrangement. Before the last half century, this would been honored thing for a young woman to do.

Once they are married – we should repeat God’s admonition to humanity to the young couple – “be fruitful and multiply”

Are you against women being educated or having careers?

A logical conclusion that someone might draw from this post, and this line of thinking is, that if women did indeed marry younger (as they still do in many non-western countries) then they will not be educated or have careers.

I am not against women being educated. But where I disagree with our modern society is, a woman’s education should always come second to her primary responsibility of being a wife and mother. Our society has it backwards Biblically speaking, we have made an idol out of education and made it more important than a woman’s first job of being a wife and mother.

So would I have an issue with a teen mom marrying, but then continuing her education from home as she bares and raises her children – of course not. Her continuing education would help her to teach her children, among other benefits it would offer.

As far as women having careers goes – I have written extensively on this subject and you can ready the related posts below to find out what I believe the Bible teaches on this subject. But as with education, a woman working must always come secondary to her primary role as wife and mother, if we want strong families, and a healthy and growing society.

Related articles:

Should women have careers outside the home?

The biological case for polygyny and the marriage of younger women

Why God made woman

Why God made man

 

 

Emma Thompson Thinks Moms Should Take a Year Off From Work

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I would not hold up Emma Thompson or most Hollywood actress moms as being great models of motherhood. But as they say “even a broken clock is right twice a day”. I do think there are some great moms that work, that do truly try and make the most of every minute away from their jobs with their children.

I would change Emma’s statement as follows and replace “great” with “best”:


You can’t be the best mum you can be and keep working all the time.

In the full interview at http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2638443/Emma-Thompson-Take-year-work-children-says-actress-career-hold-12-months-worth-30million.html she also stated:

“Motherhood is a full-time job.
‘The only way I could have continued working would have been by delegating the running of the home to other people.”

Those two statements don’t need any changes, they are absolutely true as stated.

Emma also talked about taking time off to be with her children:

“I highly recommend others to do the same if they can afford it.”

As I have stated many times on this blog – there are women who are single mothers, or married to disabled husbands, or they simply live in poverty and she must work – there is nothing wrong with a mother working in this case. In this case she truly is being the best mom she can be, because she must work in order to feed and put a roof over her children’s heads.

But let’s be clear about Emma Thompson – she took a year off as “a gift to herself” to play “full time mom”. She will be going back to work. So believe me I am not holding her up as some shining example of full time stay at home moms. But as I said previously, even a broken clock is right twice a day.

So yes you can still be a great mom and work full time, but you cannot be the best mom you could be and give your absolute best to your children and also work full time. You cannot be in two places at once. You will either be with your children full time, or you will be with them 50% of your time. It really is that simple.

Why I don’t believe women should have careers outside the home

/ biblicalgenderroles / 21 Comments

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I am often asked why I don’t believe women should have careers outside the home. Why should men get to have an education and a career and women don’t? It’s not fair right?


The first question we need to ask
There are several ways I could answer these questions from a Biblical perspective, but there is a much simpler question that transcends all religions and cultures that I often ask when I am in a room full of people having this discussion.

I usually look to the men and make it very personal.

Your met your wife while you were both attending college and university. You were both enlightened and after all, a woman deserves to have a college education and career just as much as man right? So you both finish college and both begin your careers.

Couple of graduates outdoors

You are both about 25 years old, a few years out of college when your wife tells you she is pregnant. It is the most exciting news of your life, second only to when she agreed to marry you. As the months pass and the baby grows inside of her the question arises “how long will you take off from work when the baby is born?”

She says “well I can’t take off too long or it might damage my career, so I am thinking I will go back to work 6 weeks after I have the baby”. Now if you are an “enlightened” man, this will not disturb you in the least bit, because after all she is just as entitled to her career as you are to yours right?

What is best for infant children?

Mother with newborn sun

Except for men and women who have been in my audiences, most people pause and really give this question some consideration. What is best for the young infant – to be cared for by their mother or by strangers while the mother goes off and pursues her career?

Then when many people in my audience say they are unsure – I tell them there is a reason, a God given reason why they give pause to this scenario. We all know that in most cases (except if a mother is abusive or mentally ill) that it is best for a young infant to be nurtured and raised by their mother.

More often than not, the majority of men will agree a mother should be with her infant child to care for them until they can go to school. Maybe half the women will agree and the other half will not.

The women who disagree with the premise that it is best for children to be raised by their mothers (and not daycare workers) will say studies show daycare kids actually do better in school grade wise. To which I respond that while those studies may or may not be true, other studies show that daycare kids(especially ones who have been in daycare since they were infants) have emotional issues and are often much more aggressive in school.

But for those in my audience who agree that it is best that infant children be raised by their mother, I say then that we need to go back and revisit the career issue. If a woman has an average of 3 children (which is what we need to keep the world population from falling, and keep a modest growth rate) then let’s do the math.

If a woman has a child on average every two years, then that means she will spend six years having children. If she stays home to raise each of those infant children (which I agree is best for the children), then her last child will be of full school kindergarten age approximately 11 years after she had her first child.
If she starts having children when she graduates from college at 22, that would make her 33 years old before she could go to work and start a career.

Happy mother with her three young children

Now let’s say this woman did the right thing and raised all of her children until they were all in school full time. Here is a mid-30’s woman ready to go and conquer the world. There is no problem now right?

Well let’s consider that children have a lot of school activities that involve parental involvement but Dad can start helping with these right? Maybe he can and maybe he can’t. Dad may have a demanding job that keeps him in the office or factory 50 hours a week and he can’t take off every few weeks for school activities during the day (which many elementary schools have).

If Mom goes to work who will be home when the kids get off their bus from school or will they have to be put into a latch key program? Again we must ask the question – which is better for the children, to have a mother waiting for them at home when they get off the bus or to be put in latch key?

If Mom goes to work and Dad also works a demanding job then who will have the time and energy to help the children will all their school work each night? If Mom is exhausted from work who is going to cook dinner? Mom and Dad can just rotate right?

What is better for the children and for her husband?

Happy family

When the kids go off to school a stay at home mom has the chance to recharge her batteries. She can plan for meals, she can go shopping to get clothing for her children and her husband. Perhaps she can write for a blog from the comfort of her home. She can volunteer to help with things at her church and she is always available if her children or husband need something because she does not have her resources pulled away by an outside career.

When the kids get home from school mom is there to ask them about their day and help them with their homework. She can prepare nice home cooked meals (instead of takeout all the time because Mom and Dad are both exhausted from work). She can cook meals for sick shut-ins at her church. If it does not take away from her mothering duties, she can eventually run a small business selling things out of her home.

The reality is, until the children are grown to adults and move out what is best for her family and her marriage is for her to remain in the home.

But what about what is best for her?

Happy woman

This is the question many feminists will be shouting throughout this discussion. The answer is that what is best for a woman’s family is also what is best for her.

While studies show that women who work outside the home have less stress, what they don’t often show is who they are surveying.

Yes if you were to survey stay at home moms with infant children and toddlers they will often report stress levels that are far higher than women in their same situation with small children that have them in day care and work.
Of course you are less stressed, you are handing your kids off to strangers for 10 hours a day and you get a break to be with the grownups! Stay at home moms have a monumental and sometimes stressful task when they are raising small children. But it is worth it, and it is what is best. The easy way is not always the right way, and this is true when it comes to raising kids.

But if you were to survey stay at home Moms whose kids are all in school full time, I would wager that they will report less stressful lives than the working Moms at that point. They did the hard work, they changed the diapers, and they held the crying babies for hours on end. They also got enjoy the special moments of hearing their children’s first words, seeing them walk for the first time and all the other special firsts that God has given to Moms if they will only accept his gift. They are now reaping the benefits of their wise decision to stay home and dedicate their lives fully to their marriage and family.

When you have raised an emotionally stable child, that has been grounded in your faith and belief, and when you have a happy marriage because you had no career to distract you from giving all of yourself to your husband, you will see that God’s way is best.

God made woman for man, as a helpmeet. She is beautifully and wonderfully equipped for the task of being a full time wife and mom. But when she goes outside of God’s design, and tries to do things that God did not design her for, she will often times bring pain to not only her husband and children, but also to herself.

The scourge of Feminism

/ biblicalgenderroles / 8 Comments

CompeteorComplete

Mankind has witnessed almost every type of wicked and sinful behavior imaginable since the beginning of history. But one evil had never before been witnessed in the history of the world until just the last 150 years, and that is the scourge of feminism.

In 1848, the first woman’s rights convention was held at Seneca Falls, New York. One of the most famous statements decreed at this convention was:

“He [the legislative and judicial patriarchy] has so framed the laws of divorce as to what shall be the proper causes, and in the case of separation, to whom the guardianship of the children shall be given as to be wholly regardless of the happiness of women–the law in all cases going upon the false supposition of the supremacy of man, and giving all power into his hands.”

In these early years of feminism some women and men thought they were fighting for simple fairness and justice. Many legitimate questions were raised:

Businesswoman asking why

Why should women not have the same rights as men?

Why should women not have a fair distribution of property and joint custody when being divorced?

In later years these questions would also be raised:

Why should women not have the right to vote?

Why should women not be paid the same as men for the same job?

Why should women not be able to lead companies?

What should women not be able to be politicians?

Why should women not be able to be soldiers in the army?

Why should women not have the right to do with their bodies as they will (abortion)?

How we answered the first question is how the scourge of feminism was born

Women should never have been granted the same rights as men, because women have a different role to play in society than men. Men are biologically designed to lead, conquer, provide and protect. Women are built to be soft and gentle, both physically and psychologically, to bring love and comfort to men, to bear their children and raise and care for their children.

The Bible tells us why men are designed bigger and stronger and aggressive, and why they are designed with a natural desire to lead, provide for and protect women. It is because God designed man in his image, in his likeness. Man’s leadership, protection and provision for woman is symbolic of God’s leadership, provision and protection of his people.

Woman on the other hand was designed as a symbol of God’s people. God meant for woman to submit to and serve man in the same way that all of mankind is meant to submit to and serve God. Her physical beauty is given her as a symbol of the beauty of God’s holy people, his church.

When the people of the Seneca Falls Convention questioned “the supremacy of man” over woman in society they were in essence questioning the supremacy of God over man, because the relationship between God and man is symbolized in the relationship between man and woman. Yes there have been female queens and prophets and other leaders earlier in history, but never had the supremacy of man over woman ever been questioned in the way the Seneca Falls Convention questioned it.

The effects of Seneca Falls Convention

Before the Seneca Falls Convention, divorce was almost non-existent in the United States. If a man and woman did divorce, the father would retain full custody of the children and all property, and his wife was lucky to leave with the clothes on her back.

After the Seneca Falls convention, for the first time in the history of mankind, a man’s wife and his children were no longer seen as his property. Over the coming decades women were granted property rights and women started be able to divorce their husbands and also retain custody of their children. While divorce of the 19th century was not as easy as the modern no fault divorce we have now, it was still encouraged by granting women new rights in divorce.

After women were given new rights to children and property in divorce, the divorce rate tripled in the United States, although still being low by today’s divorce rate of about 50%.

After 1848 women began gaining more and more rights until they finally gained the right to vote with the passage of the 19th Amendment in 1920. This was perhaps the most pivotal moment in the history of Feminism in the United States. Now women would be able to influence public policy and there would be no end to the rights and privileges they could grant themselves by electing politicians who would favor their causes.

The Second-wave feminism of the 1960s

The “second-wave” feminism of the 1960s began an all-out assault the traditional family. Women burned their bras and declared their independence from men. The patriarchal systems that had ruled mankind since the beginning of time needed to be torn down in their view.

They sued to have the right to abortion and the right to do as they would regardless of their husband’s wishes. No fault divorce began to spread throughout the country making divorce rates rise again. By the 1980s divorce rates in the United States rose to their peak of just over 50 percent and women had gained the right to murder their own children and their husbands had not a word to say about it.

The lasting consequences of the scourge of Feminism

Young couple having marriage problems

For the first time in the history of the world these things are now happening as a direct result of the scourge of Feminism:

Marriage is no longer the sacred institution it once was. Women end marriages based on their feelings, and not based on God’s law. Women are the ones who file for divorce in almost 70% of all cases.

A man’s wife can have an affair on him and then she can decide to leave him for another man, file for divorce and take full custody of his children and half or more of everything he owns.

A man’s wife can murder his unborn child without his knowledge.

Women can accuse men of sexual harassment with little or no proof, and men can lose their jobs and livelihoods as a result.

Women can sue companies for supposed “gender discrimination” when they don’t get promotions or treatment that they feel is “fair and equal”.

Those who hold to Feminist ideals have taken over government positions, institutions of higher learning, churches and communities and have engaged in an all-out assault on masculinity.

While divorce rates have tapered off, cohabitation rates have grown. If the separation of couples who have lived together in long term relationships were counted as divorce, the divorce rate would be far past 50 percent in the United States.

Because of the rebellion of modern women many men run from the idea of marriage. Why would a man want to marry a woman, knowing at any time she could take his children and half of everything he owns if he does anything to make her unhappy?

As a result we have an ever growing number of single mothers or divorced mothers raising children. Crimes rates are up, poverty rates are up, all because of the disintegration of the family unit which is a direct result of Feminism.

Not only has the family unit suffered, but the church and our communities have suffered as well. We have become soft toward crime and criminals, we have softened our approach to our enemies abroad. Feminism like a disease has spread to almost every corner of our society.

What can we do against these seemingly overwhelming odds?

For those of us who embrace God’s design of man, woman and the family there is still hope even in the midst of all the carnage that Feminism has created.

We need to encourage men to be men. To lovingly, but firmly lead and provide for their families. Fathers need to teach their boys to not be ashamed of their masculinity, but to embrace it. They need to be gentlemen, and leaders. Women need to be taught their place in God’s creation, both by the churches as well as their husbands. Women need to be taught to embrace the fact that God created them to be a gift to man, and their greatest honor is to bear and raise the children of mankind.

This will take a great deal of courage on the part of men and church leaders. I believe we also have to use tact in how we approach women with these subjects. We need to treat women with love and respect, but we also need to lead.

Bible passages like these need to be preached from the pulpits of churches all across America and husbands and fathers need to teach these truths to the wives and daughters:

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God…Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

I Corinthians 11:3 & 9(KJV)

“3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:3-5(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

This new approach to directly confronting feminism in our homes and churches will not come without a cost. Pastors need to realize that some members will leave their churches when they stand on the Word of God and God’s design for man, woman and the family.

When men grow spines in their homes with their wives, their wives may threaten divorce or actually divorce them and they must be ready for this. There is no sin in a man standing for what is right, and if his wife leaves him for this the sin lies with her.

Single men when seeking wives need to be honest about their God given convictions. This might make finding a wife in America or other westernized countries more difficult and Godly Christian men may sometimes need to seek wives from countries abroad that have not been as poisoned by Feminism. I wrote another article where I talked about how Godly men can have the greatest influence through their relationships with their daughters.

We can begin to take back our society, one marriage, one family and one church at a time, if we will only have the courage to follow God’s ways and do what is right, no matter the cost.

 

Sources: http://www.faqs.org/childhood/Co-Fa/Divorce-and-Custody.html

 

 

Why You’re More Stressed by Home Than Work

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Surveys and articles like this one from Time are pathetic in my view. Of course being at home can be more stressful than being at work. There are more responsibilities and especially when a mother is raising young children I would totally agree it can be harder and more stressful to be a stay at home mom than a working mom.

I understand the article is trying to address stress issues in both genders, but anyone reading it can see they are trying to say it is better to be a working mom than a stay at home mom.

Doing the right thing is often the harder thing. Taking the easier way out is often the wrong way. Yes ladies you can give yourself an 8 to 10 hour break every day from your children, and have less stress by letting some daycare workers take care of your kids while you have “adult time” at the office. But is this what is best for your child? Is this what God intended? The answer is most assuredly no.

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
I Timothy 5:14

“…Teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
Titus 2:4-5

God did not say “hey ladies I know being at home can be stressful, especially with young kids, so go drop your daughters off with other women and go have a less stressful time at your career”.

Is pregnancy stress free? Is giving birth stress free? No these things take great tolls on a woman’s body but it is all worth it when a mom holds that young infant child in her arms for the first time.

What studies and articles like this don’t tell women is what they will lose by “relieving their stress”. You lose those special moments with your child. Instead of you being the first person to see your child walk, some day care worker gets to experience that special moment. Instead of hearing your child’s first words, a day care worker gets to hear them.

When you see your child grow up to be a stable and loving adult and you watch them graduate from high school, and maybe college and then get married – all that “stress” you went through at home will have been worth it.

Don’t take easy way out, do the hard work and you will reap the rewards God has in store for you when you follow his design.

Can a woman work outside the home?

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photodune-3326876-mother-in-career-s

This question would seem to evoke laughter in the majority of American and Western households today. Why ask such a silly question when we all know the obvious answer is YES!

This is a serious question though, for those in America and across the world who hold the Bible to be the perfect Word of God. There are still millions across the globe who treasure every word of the Bible, and do not believe it teachings are “outdated” or “antiquated”.

But even among those who believe the Bible is the Word of God there is still some debate on this question. The reality is that women have worked outside the home since the beginning of mankind. In ancient times women helped tend the fields, or care for the livestock.

I believe the real question is not really one of a woman working, but of a woman being a “full time career woman” and thus a “part time mom”. I think Barbara Rainey really summarized this issue well in the book “Starting your marriage right” that she coauthored with her husband Dennis:

“I am not opposed to women working outside the home. But I want to discuss the issue of mothers-especially those with young children-devoting time and energy to another full-time occupation.

A majority of mothers now work outside the home either part-time or full-time. Reasons include survival needs, lifestyle needs, and personal fulfillment needs. Some women work because they fear a possible divorce would leave them unable to provide for themselves. Let’s look at what is really taking place in our culture.

Working mothers are not a new phenomenon. What is new is the shift in career focus: from full-time mother with a job on the side to a full-time career while attempting to mother in whatever time is left over.

I don’t believe Scripture supports this notion. A familiar passage in the New Testament summarizes what young wives and mothers are to do: “To love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored.”(Titus 2:4-5).

Notice the priority of commitments given women in this passage: husband first and children second. Based upon this instruction, I think every women needs to ask herself, “Is a job the best use of my time? Will I have more influence for the future through my employment or through my children?””

Starting your marriage Right, pg 126

All I have to say to this sister in Christ is – AMEN, AMEN and AMEN.

No two Christians are going to agree on everything, and I am sure that Dennis and his wife Barbara would not agree with everything I write on my blog, nor would I agree with everything they write in their books or say on their radio shows. But having said that, I consider them to be kindred spirits in the Lord who are fighting the good fight for the family and the Biblical view of marriage.

I think it is wonderful that not only did Mrs. Rainey give her opinion as elder woman in the Lord, but she backed it up with Scripture. She is even doing what the passage says to do – in this same passage she quotes, guess who are the ones to teach women these things?

Titus 2:3-5(NASB)

“Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good,  so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children,  to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.”

It’s the older women who should be teaching the younger women these wonderful Biblical truths. But unfortunately, not just in the non-Christian community, but also in the Christian community, feminism is running so rampant in Churches today these truths are all but silenced, instead of being proudly taught from the Scriptures as they once were.

But what about….

So as Mrs. Rainey stated, this is not really about women working outside the home, but about priorities. It is one thing for a mom to work outside the home part time because she has to. Perhaps her husband already works sixty hours a week and he can’t really do more and the bills demand she works, then she must.

But I believe Christian families really have to look at their financial priorities. If a woman is working just to help put food on the table and a roof over her family’s head the Bible does condemn her actions. The Bible never condemns a woman working outside the home for just this reason, God knew sometimes it demanded by the circumstances of the sin-cursed world we live in that woman sometimes have are called on to provide in addition to, or in the absence of a husband.

But the Bible does not release a woman from her duties to the home either. Her husband, her children and her home are always her first priority. That is why I believe it is unfair for a man to have his wife work unless it is absolutely necessary.

Yesterday I heard a Christian’s woman’s heartbreaking story of why she has to work fulltime. Two years after she married her husband some ten years ago he was diagnosed with a brain tumor, he has suffered memory loss and other cognitive abilities ever since and this stops him from being able to work. Her mother helps watch her kids and when she has to travel often her mother will come with the kids and watch them for her while she is working. This woman is a perfect example of why a woman might have to take on the role of providing for her family that normally the husband should be doing.

But the reality is, if we are truthful this is not the case in most instances of women working today. Many women today consciously plan a career and full time work long before they are married. Then when they get married and eventually have children, a few months after the baby is born mom drops her baby off at day care and back to her career she goes. She does this for the next child as well and the probably stops having children(statistics show most full time career women don’t have more than two children).

I know of a man whose wife runs an in-home day care center and he explained how sad this is. He said many of these career moms drop their infants and small children off with his wife at 6 AM each day and most don’t return till at least 6 PM or sometimes 7 PM each night during the week. That means someone else is caring for their infants or small children for twelve to thirteen hours a day!

These are exactly the kind of moms Barbara Rainey is taking about – “Full time career women” and “part time moms”. Yet our society praises this! Women are told this is a fulfilling life!

Just like abortion, I believe many career women block out what they are doing to their infants and small children. They tell themselves “it is for the best, I am setting a good example for my kids, especially my daughters on how successful a woman can be. I am providing a better life for them than if we just had their father’s income. In fact if we had only his income, we would not be able to afford the new cars and the big house and nice family trips, those things are more important than me looking after them right now, I have left them in good hands.” This is what millions of woman across America tell themselves everyday as they go to achieve “great things” in their careers. But does God see this as a “great”? Or is he saddened by this instead? Is this what he meant them for, to leave their mothering and nurturing duties to someone else?

A mother is not just someone who reads a bed time story to her kid each night. Especially in the first few years of life a mother is everything to a young child. So every time that child falls, or is scared, or needs comfort for those 12 hours a day she spends “fulfilling her dreams” – who is the one who comforts them? I can tell you this, it is not the person that God designed for this privilege. A mom is the one is makes the young child their favorite lunch, who reads them stories during the day, who holds them when they are sick or scared. She bathes them, she teaches them about God and the world. A mom is there when her child takes their first step, who hears their first word, in fact moms usually get to see most of their kids “firsts” and they get to deliver the happy messages to Dad.

Instead today many women sacrifice all these beautiful moments for a career, for paycheck. How sad. Instead mom gets to hear second hand from someone else, someone who got to experience the special moments that God meant for her.

So women can’t use their talents?

The next question I am often asked is, do I believe then that women just have to sit home knitting, cooking and cleaning for the entirety of their lives?

No way. Even the Bible shows a woman using her talents in Proverbs:

Proverbs 31:10-31(NASB)

An excellent wife, who can find? For her worth is far above jewels. 11 The heart of her husband trusts in her, And he will have no lack of gain. 12 She does him good and not evil All the days of her life. 13 She looks for wool and flax And works with her hands in delight. 14 She is like merchant ships; She brings her food from afar. 15 She rises also while it is still night And gives food to her household And portions to her maidens. 16 She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard. 17 She girds herself with strength And makes her arms strong. 18 She senses that her gain is good; Her lamp does not go out at night. 19 She stretches out her hands to the distaff, And her hands grasp the spindle. 20 She extends her hand to the poor, And she stretches out her hands to the needy. 21 She is not afraid of the snow for her household, For all her household are clothed with scarlet. 22 She makes coverings for herself; Her clothing is fine linen and purple. 23 Her husband is known in the gates, When he sits among the elders of the land. 24 She makes linen garments and sells them, And supplies belts to the tradesmen. 25 Strength and dignity are her clothing, And she smiles at the future. 26 She opens her mouth in wisdom, And the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. 27 She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. 28 Her children rise up and bless her; Her husband also, and he praises her, saying: 29 “Many daughters have done nobly, But you excel them all.” 30 Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised. 31 Give her the product of her hands, And let her works praise her in the gates.

Some have mistakenly tried to point to Proverbs 31 as showing a full time career woman and this passage shows nothing of the kind. The woman in this passage is intelligent – “she opens her mouth in wisdom”. She is resourceful when she “She considers a field and buys it; From her earnings she plants a vineyard” and when she “makes linen garments and sells them”.

So I would agree with my Christian feminist and Egalitarian friends that this woman is not always at home, however the passage shows the focus of her life is in fact her home. Every one of these things she does is focused on her home. In fact the vast majority of things she does here would allow her to work from home. A few times she may go out to buy things, or plant a vineyard, but in now ways does this show a woman that is gone from her home 40 to 50 hours a week pursing some career and leaving her house undone or duties to her husband, children and home to others.

Just as back then women could run a business out of their home (such as selling fine clothes), so to today women can run businesses out of their home. They can have in-home daycare, do telemarketing and host of other things. They can write books, they can run blog sites.

My daughter who is in the fifth grade (at the time of writing this post) is a very talented writer. Her teachers tell me how she excels in English and creative writing and I am very proud of her accomplishments. I am teaching her though that she needs to channel her gifts and use them in a way that would honor God and his commands.

While I encourage to use her to use  her writing skills to one day have a Christian woman’s blog (under the direction of her husband of course), I also tell her that a career outside the home and without a family is not what God teaches in his Word is right for her.

I Timothy 5:14

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I teach my daughter than unless she is called to full time Christian ministry, and also called to be celibate in life(as few are called too) she needs to marry and have children.   When we combine the teaching of Titus 2:3-5 with this passage from I Timothy 5, as well as the example of women throughout the Bible going back to the Garden of Eden we see God’s Word is clear on his priorities and design for woman.

Woman are to marry, love their husbands, bear children, love their children, be workers at home, manage the home and be respectful to their husband’s guidance. A husband is not commanded to be a keeper of the home, or to raise children at home, but instead he is to go out and provide for his family. He is called to be the head of his home, and to protect his home.

Conclusion

So no I do not believe every case of a woman working outside the home is wrong. Many are necessary and for good reason. Some women are able to work part-time and not neglect their husbands, their children or their home and in this case a woman working outside the home would be fine. Some women are forced to work, because their husband is either unable, or unwilling to work to provide, or they are a single parent. God understands all these situations.

But a woman who works outside the home, simply to get more material things and because being a house wife and mom are just “dull and boring to her”, should examine God’s Word. A woman who is unwilling to sacrifice her career to care for her children – needs to examine her priorities in light of the Scriptures. She should open her heart to God’s design for her life, only then can she find the true joy that only he can offer. But it will require a surrender to her creator’s will. I pray if you are that woman reading this, you will let God speak to your heart today.

Short Essay – Working Moms Miss A Lot More Than Their Baby’s First Step

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This concisely written article written by Kathy Duane, is a scathing rebuke of working mothers and at the same time an encouragement to young stay at home moms that they are doing the right thing – despite what feminism tries to teach women today.

It's the Women, Not the Men!

Baby's First Steps Baby’s First Steps

Working moms not only miss their blessed child’s first step but they may miss their precious child’s first word

Chasing birds Toddler Chasing birds

or even their first chuckle. They may miss watching them as they learn to blow bubbles or how to rock a rocking horse or walk on a rock wall. They many miss the astonishment in their eyes as they watch butterflies flying, wind blowing or squirrels climbing trees. They may miss wandering in the garden picking, and eating, tomatoes, looking for bugs or joyously chasing birds. Yes, working mothers miss a lot.

Working moms miss dress-up time, learning to hug a baby doll and experiencing for the first time, their little ones own reflection in a mirror. They miss nap time, lunchtime and playtime. After work, if there are older children in the family too, there’s homework, sports, dinner, baths and bed. There isn’t any…

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Stay at Home Mothers Are NOT In Style

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You can’t make this stuff up! Normally I am very careful about not attacking the messenger and only attacking the message. But this is one of those rare instances where a person is revealing their own nature, their own motives and their own inner self.

Let me first say that I do not believe women have a monopoly on selfishness. Many men have put their careers before their families and all but ignored their wife and children and they ought to be ashamed for such behavior. There are men who think the entire world revolves around their needs, wants, desires and ambitions.

But this woman demonstrates, that there are also very selfish women who also put their needs, wants, desires and ambitions before everyone, and everything else.

This woman’s article could be summarized in the following statement:

“Ladies look out for your own wants and needs before the wants and needs of your husband or children.”

She would say working moms are looking out for the needs of their children by having careers so they could provide for their children if they get divorced.

Women should get married planning for an eventual divorce? If you plan for failure, you will eventually make it happen.

Snarky Brunette – thank you for your candor and your honesty, if more women were honest with men and upfront with the views you have we could avoid more divorces by not marrying women like you.