About Me

As a young man I was passionate about four areas of study – theology, history, human nature and computers.  My day job working in IT lets me exercise my love of technology and this site allows me to serve God by teaching others what I have learned from his Word, from history books and from human nature.

Many have asked what my educational background is.  I attended and graduated from a Protestant Christian high school. I also have some college training as well as certifications in various technical arenas.   I have taught Sunday school classes and during my first marriage filled my church’s pulpit when my Pastor was not available to preach.

While I do not have a degree in theology I have studied the Scriptures in high school and for most of my adult life(so about 25 years).  I have read through the entire Bible several times and I have memorized many portions of the Scripture.  While I was in college I studied the Greek and Hebrew languages but I do not claim to be a scholar in these areas.

Charles Spurgeon was one of the great preachers in modern history and wrote some of the greatest commentaries on Scripture ever written.  He was a hero of mine growing up, despite some differences in doctrine that I have with him.  Many tried to get him to attend seminary and college and he saw no need for it – yet he maintained a very extensive personal library and was an avid reader of Church history and theology.

My point is you don’t have to have a degree in theology or be a Hebrew or Greek scholar to teach the Word of God – you only need to have a love for studying God’s Word and the gift of teaching.  Some of my friends from Church have masters degrees in theology(and one has a masters in Hebrew) and we have great discussions.  I find things they did not know, and they find things I did not know.  We are always learning from each other.

The pen name I write under is Larry Solomon.  The reason I do not use my real name is the same reason that Christ hid himself from Jews:

“Then took they up stones to cast at him: but Jesus hid himself, and went out of the temple, going through the midst of them, and so passed by.” – John 8:59 (KJV)

It was not Christ’s time to die and it’s not my time to go public.  And no – I don’t have a Messiah complex! But the Scriptures tell us:

“Whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.” – I John 2:6

I am not the Savior, but rather I want to walk as my Savior walked as he grants me the grace to do so. I am not a prophet nor a preacher. I am simply a man saved by the sacrifice of his savior, a sinner saved by grace. A forgiven man with a Bible in his hands teaching his children and whomever wants to listen – the Word of God.

But just as in China Christians must hide themselves from the authorities, and Christians who go as missionaries hide as English teachers or other occupations – so to I must remain anonymous.   One day God may lead me to reveal myself, but that day is not today.

So for these reasons for the time being, I will remain anonymous.

With all that being said – I will let you in on this general information about me.

I am a early forties,white male.  I live in the United States.

I was divorced from my first wife after she committed adultery.  I have five children from that first marriage. I have since remarried and my wife and I our raising my five children together(I share joint custody with my ex).  My second wife and I with our children are members of and attend a Baptist Church.

What I believe about Jesus Christ and the Gospel

I believe that Jesus Christ was the Son of God and God in the flesh. He was the perfect and sinless lamb of God that took away the sins of the world. He was prophet, priest and king. His death on the cross paid for the sins of the world and he arose victoriously on the third day.   He sits now at the right hand of God and one day he will return for his own.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…And the Word was made flesh, and dwelt among us, (and we beheld his glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father,) full of grace and truth.” – John 1:1 & 14 (KJV)

Jesus saith unto him, I am the way, the truth, and the life: no man cometh unto the Father, but by me.” – John 14:6 (KJV)

“For there is one God, and one mediator between God and men, the man Christ Jesus;” – I Timothy 2:5 (KJV)

That if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart that God hath raised him from the dead, thou shalt be saved.  For with the heart man believeth unto righteousness; and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation.” – Romans 10:9-10 (KJV)

My philosophy of Bible interpretation

I believe the Bible is the perfect, inerrant and inspired Word of God from Genesis to Revelation.

I believe that we must take the Scriptures literally unless the context is specifically speaking symbolically(like in prophecy) which means the vast majority of Scripture is to be taken literally.

But in taking the Scriptures literally we must accept the progressive revelation of God.  By progressive revelation I don’t mean what it means today “liberal”.  I mean that God revealed his Word in stages and there were different dispensations or covenants at different points in time.

Each progressive stage of Scripture reveals new information about God’s will and also many times God will sometimes interpret commands and prophecies in ways that the original recipients may not have understood.  With that being said, while the New Testament is built upon the foundation of the Old the New Testament interprets the Old Testament and it is the final revelation of God.

I love the Old Testament and it is just as much the Word of God as the New Testament.  But we must be careful to realize that the Old Covenant has been replaced with the New Covenant.

“In that he saith, A new covenant, he hath made the first old. Now that which decayeth and waxeth old is ready to vanish away.” – Hebrews 8:13 (KJV)

“For in Jesus Christ neither circumcision availeth any thing, nor uncircumcision; but faith which worketh by love.” – Galatians 5:6 (KJV)

“Let no man therefore judge you in meat, or in drink, or in respect of an holyday, or of the new moon, or of the sabbath days:  Which are a shadow of things to come; but the body is of Christ.” – Colossians 2:16-17 (KJV)

The New Testament is clear that we are no longer under the civil laws, sacrificial laws, ceremonial cleanliness laws or priestly laws that God gave to Israel as a theocracy.   We can certainly learn principles from those things, but we don’t have to do things like stoning our kids when they rebel, stoning women for adultery or keep the festivals and dietary laws that were given to Israel as a nation.

While I may fail to live up to the Bible perfectly(for none of us does) – I do aspire to do my best to follow God’s design for my life and for my marriage and family – in my own imperfect way.

Do I have the right to teach the Word of God?

 “But when it pleased God, who separated me from my mother’s womb, and called me by his grace,  To reveal his Son in me, that I might preach him among the heathen; immediately I conferred not with flesh and blood:

 Neither went I up to Jerusalem to them which were apostles before me; but I went into Arabia, and returned again unto Damascus.” – Galatians 15-17(KJV)

Many who do not like the Biblical passages I expound upon here usually come at me with two attacks:

“You don’t have any degrees in theology or counseling so you have no right to speak on these subjects.”

“You don’t have any right to speak on these subjects because you are divorced.”

My response to the first attack is – If anyone can show me in the Scriptures where it says you have to have a degree or ordination to preach the Word of God please show it to me.  I have not found it yet.

My response to the second attack is – while I agree that divorced men are forbidden from being Pastors and Deacons there is no such prohibitions on simply teaching the Word of God.  These restrictions only apply to these local Church offices, not to all believers who would teach.

There are many important doctrines in the Scripture.   Some of these include the doctrine of the Trinity, the Gospel, the Inspiration of the Scriptures and the doctrine of the Church. But we also have the doctrines of gender roles regarding the roles that God gave to men and women in society, in the church and in the home and these are important as well.

My mission on this site is to draw attention to these doctrines that while not being politically correct in our modern culture, are crucial to building strong families, strong churches and a stronger society.

32 thoughts on “About Me

  1. I’m just curious to know how much you have studied other perspectives on these issues. I am also a mid-thirties individual who has been married ten years and I also do my best to follow God’s design for my life, but I have very different beliefs about God’s design, gender roles, etc. Here are links I’ve shared on my blog pertaining to these issues, from an egalitarian perspective: http://thebeautifulkingdomwarriors.wordpress.com/links/. Here is one article in particular that I think is pertinent: http://equalityinchrist.wordpress.com/2014/04/02/why-complementarians-see-male-leadership-as-gods-design-the-psychology-of-perception-and-seeing-what-we-already-believe/.

  2. Ruth,

    I have in fact studied the egalitarian perspective over many years and respectfully – I find it lacking Scriptural support. I have actually had some great discussions with some reasonably minded egalitarians in online forums, as well as in person. I have had some not so reasonable discussions with some other egalitarians who find it disgusting that people still believe in the traditional view of gender roles as presented in the Bible.

    I believe once we remove our 21st century western cultural lenses, and look at the way God designed things from the beginning, only then do we fully come to grasp the God’s design.

    But when we stray from God’s design, as most of Western civilization has,this is why we see massively high divorce rates and rapidly falling fertility rates.

  3. Hi,
    discovered your site just a few days ago. What a coincidence,
    * similar data: divorced with kids from the first marriage (whom I paid for more than 20 yrs and I’m proud of and lucky about), re-married again, again kids; just a bit older than you
    * conservative christian, white, not seeking for perfectness, but in need of and open for goods love and loving god’s orders (Psalm 119)
    * writing a wordpress-blog with a very similar adress and topic: “http://biblicalfamilylife.wordpress.com/” (hard for you to read, because it’s in german, sorry)
    * in my alias “Altervater” (which means ‘old father’) I’m anticipating and approving/affirming your point ‘elder man, younger woman’
    * also under the protection of anonymity, which I even explain in american english, quoting a blog about economics: “anonymity is a shield from the tyranny of the majority. it thus exemplifies the purpose behind the bill of rights, and of the first amendment in particular: to protect unpopular individuals from retaliation– and their ideas from suppression– at the hand of an intolerant society.” und: “keeping authorship anonymous moves the focus of discussion to the content of speech and away from the speaker”. See here: http://www.zerohedge.com/about

    Gratulations to your very clear messages and the professional look and make-of of your site!
    You got one reader more and I will allow myself to translate and reblog articles of you (of course with full source citation and links)
    best regards from Loadstar
    PS: In Mark Twains tradition, there are many nice tries to explain german language to americans, a current one here: http://www.fluentu.com/german/blog/weird-german-words-vocabulary/

    PS II: The mailadress below is wrong because wordpress wanted me to login as I wrote my correct mailadress first (which is connected with my own wordpress-account) and then the site didn’t move on

  4. Your blog has piqued my curiosity, glancing it over briefly.

    Likewise I found that the need to fight misandry was/is unavoidable. I’m not a married man, but of course more and more men are seeing the need to be protective. It is decidedly part of my walk with God–a war I sure wish didn’t exist. 😉

    I have more of a passion for the body of Christ than marriage, though. To me–and most certainly according to the Bible–as believers we require the former while the latter is an option (Paul even said that those who are married should live as they were not, 1 Corinthians 7:29). I’ll be taking more looks at your blog later, no doubt.

  5. Thank your for your comments.

    Respectfully I disagree that we do not need marriage as much as the church, in this world, while I agree in the next world marriage will no longer be necessary. Marriage is meant to be a shining symbol of the relationship of God and his people, of Christ and his Church. If only unbelievers were to enter into marriage, that symbolism would be lost as most unbelievers will never attempt to truly live out marriage as God intended it to be.

    While I agree that Paul and Christ honored celibacy, they both presented it as gift from God that few people were given(and for Christians it was to be used in the service of God, not for selfishness). The rest were given the gift of marriage, which Hebrews tells us is to be honored as well.
    Just something to consider.

  6. God is indeed honored in the way people handle their marriages in this life.

    Let’s put it this way: if you were to compile everything the Bible says about marriage, I expect it MIGHT fill about two pages. Maybe three. Consider how much more than that is written regarding our interactions as a church, how much more is written in the vein of “love your neighbor as yourself.”

    The health of marriage is very important. It is one “positions” in which many (if not most) are called to glorify God today.

    If only unbelievers were to enter into marriage, that symbolism would be lost as most unbelievers will never attempt to truly live out marriage as God intended it to be.

    And yet, interestingly, in non-westernized cultures where Christianity is less present, marriages tend to fare better–the LEAST you can say for marriages on the Eastern hemisphere (i.e. less touched by westernization, feminism, and even Christianity) is that the divorce rates are a lot lower. That is indisputable. Now that is of course to say, I am fully acknowledging that the condition of Western marriages (and in Christianity) are in crisis and therefore needs attention. The core problem, though, that I am proposing, is that I have NO doubt that overemphasis is exactly the problem: it’s the culture SURROUNDING marriages that are in trouble and fail to support people.

    It’s like if I expect a skillet to mow the lawn. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with the skillet–it’s just that I’m trying to use it for something it was not designed to do. That leads to dissatisfaction and emptiness.

    What I am saying is this: Scripture is full of commands for how to “love your neighbor as yourself” (the core command) and assemble the church. Commands for marriage are like a footnote by comparison–not to minimize it, but just to say that’s merely one dimension of it. When we focus on restoring the church to health, marriage can be supported better, instead of marriage to be this be-all-end-all of human interactions God never intended it to be. That’s what I’m saying. I respect that marriage needs attention in itself, but much of the “tone” is way off, as if it’s the only human interaction that exists. 😉

    For what it’s worth, for your consideration.

  7. selfdefensiveman,

    The point you raise about non-western cultures and marriages being better there is an interesting one. The divorce rates are lower, and wives respect their husbands more and they take care of their homes better. Take for instance Indian, Arab and Asian countries where women respect their husbands, divorce is almost unheard of, and women pride themselves in caring their homes. Yet these nations have a small minority of Christians, their behavior toward their husbands and family is based upon their cultures, and not done to emulate the relationship of Christ to the Church.

    Consistently throughout the Scriptures we see that God wants us to not only do the right thing, but do it for the right reason. This is why he tells us that he judges the “thoughts and intents of the heart”.

    God wants both, the right actions, as well as the right motives for the actions. So even though these people are doing the right things, they are not truly emulating Christ and the Church for a correct reason and from the right intent. Even in America, when we did not have all the feminist poisoning of our society as we have now, and women respected their husbands, many women simply did so because the culture demanded it, not out of love for Christ, and not to truly emulate the relationship between Christ and the Church.

    You are definitely right that Marriage is not the only human interaction that exists. The Church needs to be teaching people how to be good church members,citizens and employees as well.

    You bring up God’s command to “love your neighbor as yourself”, and I can assure you that I never fully understand the implications of that command until I was married.

    It is one thing to love the stranger on the street, and give him some food, when you will only see him for a while.
    It is one thing to love your next door neighbor as yourself, whom you see for a few moments at a time.
    It is one thing to love your fellow church members as yourself, whom you see for a few hours a week.
    To love one’s children, and blood as themselves is instinctual.
    But to love one who is not blood, one whom we live with day in and day out, when they treat us poorly, when they lash out, when they do all manner of wrong against us, and we wake each day to them and then go to sleep each night with them – now that is the most intense “love your neighbor as yourself” relationship you will ever find.

    I understand where you coming, I was divorced several years back. You don’t notice how much emphasis there is on marriage until you are single, then you see it. It raises your awareness of the fact that the church needs to have ministries that allow the single person to flourish as well as married couples.

    But I maintain that I truly believe that celibacy is and should continue to be the exception, and I believe that God designed man and woman for marriage, and for marriage to be a shining example of Christ and the Church. Celibacy should be honored and used for what God intended it for, a life fully dedicated to the work of Christ. If a person remains celibate so that they can get rich, or have more power without the constraints of family, this is not what God intended Celibacy for.

    Thank you though for your comments.

  8. I’ve read some of your posts, and you seem to take a very literal approach to the laws and customs recorded in the Bible, and appear to believe that those same laws and customs are meant for today (for example, wives are property of their husbands). That being said, I see in your bio that you are divorced and remarried. Do you consider you and your wife adulterers and your marriage an adulterous one?

  9. Yes I take the Bible very literally(except for those places where symbolism is called for, like prophecy, and I also recognize hyperboles in the Bible).

    Having said that – I believe there are several grounds for Biblical divorce(adultery, abandonment, abuse) and adultery is actually the easiest one to prove:

    “But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery.”
    Matthew 5:32

    Fornication includes all sexual immorality – incest,premarital sex,homosexuality,bestiality and yes adultery. My first wife had two affairs while we were married, I forgave her the first one and divorced her after the second one. I had every Biblical right to divorce her.

  10. I read much of your blog, and while I respectfully disagree with some of the the things you say, I applaud you for having the guts to excersize your first amendment rights and say them! I’m just curious how you would react to this hypothetical situation: say you had a daughter or a wife who had good homemaking skills. She was incredibly artistic, could cook, sew clothes for herself or you, had good interior decorating skills, and had long hair and liked to wear pretty clothes. However, she also likes to do “boy stuff.” She likes to shoot guns and is an avid hunter. She goes fishing and likes to explore the woods. As a kid, she would build forts in the woods, climb trees, and spend hours catching bugs and frogs. Sometimes she would to play with toy spaceships and cars, and sometimes she would play with Barbies and her dollhouse and dress-up like a princess. So Sir, I’m just wondering how you would handle this situation (and yes, I’m totally describing myself). If your wife or your daughter was like this, would you forbid her from “boy” activities, even though she looks and acts like a woman, or would you allow it?

  11. Amy,

    I have absolutely no problem with girls liking to do boy stuff. My wife is an avid baseball fan and I am not. I got into watching baseball and football for her so we could connect with something. My daughter loves to watch scary movies with me and her brothers, and she also likes to play Call of Duty and other shooters, she loves playing basketball and plays on a church league in our area. My wife used to play softball(before she hurt her ankle).

    But while my daughter likes to do some “boy” things, she also loves to get her nails done or her hair done at the salon. She loves wearing pretty dresses and she wants to be a wife and mother, these things are not incompatible and will make her a great mom with her kids.

    My daughter does not like to fish(she hates the worms and stuff) and she is not really into hunting, but if she were I would not have a problem taking her.

    Some people wrongly think, that if you embrace Biblical Gender Roles, that somehow that means a woman must be trapped doing laundry and dishes, cooking and cleaning the house. That is soooo NOT true. Wives ought to have hobbies, and they ought to be able to enjoy some hobbies with their husbands and family, and also some with their girlfriends(I am big proponent of women spending time with other Christian women). Yes there may be some more hectic seasons in a wife’s life where she can’t do as much because of obligations with her kids and hubby, but if she can I am all for women doing these kinds of things.

    That is where we has husbands and dads need to step in, if things are getting hectic, and make sure mom get’s some time out do things she wants and Dad takes care of things with the kids once in a while.

    While I maintain on this site the Biblical truth, that a woman’s central focus should always be on her husband, her children and her home – that does not mean she can’t do other things with her time as well. Its all about balance.

  12. Hello,
    First off, let me say I look forward to checking your blog and learning more about God’s wisdom. In this hectic world filled with feminism and “partner marriages” it can be hard to decipher what is God’s will and what is driven by human’s sinful nature. Currently, I am struggling with a problem that stems from my similar history to you. I am in my second marriage right now, and together my current wife and I have two children. My previous marriage also created two children. This marriage ended when my wife hopped on the feminism train, had an affair, stopped respecting my authority, seemed to turn from the church, etc… A judge awarded her custody, but she is a single, full time working woman. My question is about blended families. Biblically, how does one maneuver this tricky situation? My first wife truly loves our children, and I respect that God really chose her more than me to parent and raise them, but if I don’t agree with how she is raising them, is it sinful for me to take a mother’s children from her? And if I do succeed in taking my children back how does that responsibility fall with my new wife. Is it wrong for me to demand and expect that she raise my other children though they are not the fruit of her womb?

  13. Steven,

    I don’t think it is sinful for you to try and take your children from their mother if it is for good reason. For instance I know of a Christian man who sued for custody of this kids(years after his divorce and having joint custody) because he found out the step father(her new husband) was abusing his children. Sometimes you may find out that a parent is neglecting the needs of the children and this may be a good cause.

    But if your reason is simply because you don’t agree with her morals, or different rules she has in her home than yours – then I don’t think this a legitimate reason to sue for custody of your children.

    Can you explain more – even if privately by email what you are disagreeing with on how your first wife is raising your children?

    If you do succeed in getting custody of your kids(for legitimate reasons), then no I don’t think it is wrong that you expect your wife to help take care of your children, even though they are not the fruit of her womb.

    When your wife married you, she signed on to be your helpmeet, and to come under your authority and to do whatever you need her to do. If that means being a step mother to your children, even full time, then that is her duty to do so and you do not have to feel one bit guilty about that.

    Some Christians falsely believe that God always wants a husband to put his wife’s desire ahead his children. This is belief is not supported by the Scriptures. God always wants us to put HIS will first, and the greater good first. If you truly need to take custody of your children, then that is a greater good, a greater need, than your wife being inconvenienced by having to care for your children full time(and I don’t know what she thinks).

    If you wife is surrendered to the will of God for her as a woman, she ought to rejoice at being able to help you by being a step mother to your children.

  14. I was inspired to return to this page after the legalizing of gay marriage in the West.

    “Yet these nations have a small minority of Christians, their behavior toward their husbands and family is based upon their cultures, and not done to emulate the relationship of Christ to the Church.”

    This is talking about the Eastern hemisphere of course. Another thing to consider is that the Eastern hemisphere is that – again, despite Christianity being FAR less present – is much, MUCH farther from legalizing and approving homosexuality and “gay marriage.”

    As much as I appreciate some of your fortitude in “biblical gender roles,” the portrayals of the “relationship of Christ to the Church” is severely overblown and the way you and others speak about it is clearly the tone of a post-feminist.

    I would call your attention to this article pertaining to the “duties of husbands” in marriage: God’s Commands to Husbands for Marriage.

    It is not wise to ignore the wisdom of cultures not tainted by feminism for guidance in restoring sound gender identity and family structure – which feminism clearly damaged as it infiltrated Western Christianity – assuming that they can’t have wisdom that we don’t due to not having Christianity in their cultures. The real reason, I believe, Western Christians are unwilling to examine Eastern cultures as a compass for restoring gender identity is due to lingering attachments to their own culture (including feminist “modern sensibilities”) rather than a devotion to God and His word.

    I would be interested to see your reaction to my exegeses, though, wondering how close we are to being on the same page. 😉

  15. SelfDefensiveman,

    I read your post. I agree there is a general principle of believers giving themselves up for each other, as well as a general principle of believers submitting to one another in church. However we always have to look at the context of these statements. The passages which talk about believers giving themselves up for each other, and submitting to one another are given within the context of the operations of the local assembly.

    That a husband(and father) is expected to provide for his wife(and children) is clearly seen in these passages(some of which which you allude to):

    “If he marries another woman, he must not deprive the first one of her food, clothing and marital rights.” Exodus 21:10

    “After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church” – Ephesians 5:29

    ““Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? 10 Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? 11 If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! ” Matthew 7:9-11

    But I agree with you that this does not entitle a woman to just sit around and do nothing. The proverbs 31 wife “does not eat the bread of idleness” – she is constantly busy working in the home as well as doing things outside the home as well. Although I would argue based on the totality of the Scriptures that while a woman may work outside the home – her focus and her number one priority is always in caring for her husband, her children and her home.

    A Biblical wife is a busy wife – a true helper to her husband.

  16. “That a husband(and father) is expected to provide for his wife(and children) is clearly seen in these passages”

    I disagree that this is “clearly seen” in the sense that it is only a man’s job. No one would argue, for example, that the wife of a temporarily-disabled man (or permanently for that matter) is entitled to letting him starve for the same reason vice-versa is not acceptable: “the two are one flesh.” Women did not have the right to divorce, however, and for natural reasons, yes a man’s power to be a provider has been greater–something in which God had intent, no doubt, such that woman would be more materially dependent.

    My only point in this case is that the “as Christ loved the church” is getting fantastically abused beyond its meaning. One of your comments suggests another very feminist outlook of “women were/are oppressed” while there is no biblical case for that .

    I am just talking to you, here. 😉 As we agree, cleaning out the church from the world is part of what we do.

  17. selfdenfensiveman,

    I agree with you that a wife ought to help her husband in anyway that he needs. Sometimes that requires a woman taking on a job to help the family finances, especially if the husband is not physically able to work.

    Let me frame this for you a little differently:

    The Bible is clear that a woman’s first duty is to the care of her home and her children:

    “That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-6 (KJV)

    “I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)

    “She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:27(KJV)

    While caring for a home may not be a full time job, caring for very young children often is. I believe that if we put all the Scriptures together – we see that God wants a woman caring for the needs of her home and her children first and foremost, and only working outside the home in temporary ways as needed. Yes can woman plant a field? Sure but this is not the same as her abandoning her children to others so she can pursue a career outside her home.

    It is one thing if the husband is disabled and cannot work, but if a man is able bodied – I believe it is his duty to make sure his wife can do her duty to the best of her ability to care for her children and her home.

    And don’t worry about being argumentative – we are just having a friendly discussion and I know you and I do have a lot of agreement on issues.

  18. Christ went for a long time before wanting all but a select few to know that he was the Christ and the Son of God. We aren’t specifically told why that is, but I personally think that it’s for a couple of reasons: firstly, Jesus needed to live a “normal” life as a human for most of his life, and secondly, because he wanted to establish himself by way of his righteous manner reputation-wise as opposed to just telling people to take his word for it.

    Hiding himself from the Jews until his reputation was established? (Of course, he didn’t do this forever). I don’t know–could be. Apostles didn’t exactly look to go to places where they knew they would be persecuted. Jesus said, “If you are persecuted in one city, flee to another.”

    There could be some validity to it in the sense that an established reputation is good–to be exposed among supporters. One of the reasons why Jesus’ enemies didn’t kill him on many occasions was because they feared the support that he had from other people. i.e. Jesus was effectively protected by popularity many times.

    Jesus did tell us not to throw pearls to swine, because they would turn around and trample us. On the internet, you can’t help but throw what you have out to the whole world. It could be that, in the meantime, pro-men sources simply have to go incognito to communicate with another just because the better part of the world is truly out to harm us.

  19. I was looking for a website like this for a long time. was out yesterday praying for what has become an eternity, half an hour. We live in times where men, most of all anointed men are under incredible assault, on every level imagineable. Media, courts, and most of all, churches. It was relief to my soul to find this page and the articles written. I have wrestled for months and weeks with god over why he creat3d me a man in times where men dont exist. They are singled out and harrassed or killed. Modern women have gone way overboard with their self justifcations and self anointings. Everytime i was in jail it was a woman. And the next time it will be a woman again. The devil used eve in genesis. He uses eve today. I enjoyed reading and think you should not try to justify your perspective in replying to your own threads. Save your time to write more threads instead. Thank you for your website. Mark

  20. Heya! So happy to find this site. Unfortunately lost all I typed when I signed into Gravatar. So I will paraphrase. I’ve been reading non-stop for the past 3 hours and I am looking forward to reading more soon. Also, I wanted to give one comment regarding the Eastern hemisphere as it is where I have been living for the last 7 years. The women here don’t have the same options as Western women so that may have an influence on divorce rates – especially for older women. The older a woman is the less likely she is to find “honest” work so many women have a strong motivation to be married and stay married. In the case of where I live now in Indonesia a man may not even have to give financial support for children, let alone the divorced wife. Unfortunately there has been a heavy impact on women not to be homemakers. It has become a stigma and deemed suitable for the lowly-educated so many women with good educations are shunning those valuable duties when they could be among the best homemakers. I am uncertain why this trend has been the case (there are some exceptions among the Muslim population who do seem to value homemaking more — although it is also waning). This may be due to the influx of Western programming streaming over the internet, cable television, and satellite channels. I find that among the general population — especially Christians who identify better with Western culture due to sharing what they consider to be Christian sourced programming (here everyone has to ascribe to a religion and they assume every foreigner and most Western programming to have some influence of Christianity – yet we Westerners know different) any woman currently under the age of about 40 has little or no interest to be a homemaker. This means they don’t know how to cook, take care of children or take care of things at home while the man is away. It is like a crash course when they get married because the society here is starting to push the same values we adore so much in the West. So I would say that divorce seems to be less likely, but the value of being a homemaker has been declining rapidly for the last 25-30 years. Anyway, I look forward to more reading and comparing my own notes from my own Bible studies!

  21. I am feeling sooo lost and helpless. I was raised in a christian way and my husband also (but I saw him destroy a cross after his parents died). We are married for 16 years now and after we had been married he showed his real side (approx. 4 times a year sex from behind (I never saw him and feel sooo abused and worthless after all these years of receiving nothing). I tried talking to him for many years and he thinks that I should the person that should make lots of efforts to stimulate him, which I can not do (as I need a little romance). He does not work, does not provide any income; What can I do (he told me that he keeps our house if Ieave and I get nothing). Please advise as I am about to give up on everything.

  22. Anonymos,

    I am truly sorry to hear about the sinful behavior of your husband. Spouses can sin against each other in many ways but God does not allow divorce for just any type of sin. Rather he only allows it for a few sins that he has decided are grave enough to break the marriage covenant.

    You can read about these reasons in my post https://biblicalgenderroles.com/for-what-reasons-does-god-allow-divorce/

    In it I provide Scriptures that I believe allow these 4 reasons that a woman may divorce her husband:

    1 If he fails to provide her with food and clothing (shelter is implied with clothing).
    2 If he refuses to have regular sexual relations with her (sexual defraudment).
    3 If he physically abuses her or makes attempts on her life.
    4 If he abandons her.

    It sounds as if your husband is definitely guilty of reason no 3(failure to provide) unless he is physically disabled from working.
    He may also be guilty of reason no 1 because he is not giving you regular relations when you desire it. He is taking power over your body(which is his right) but he is not giving you power over his body(which is your right).

    I suggest you also look at these two other posts that I think will help you as a wife:
    https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015/09/16/4-steps-to-confronting-your-husbands-sexual-refusal/
    https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2015/08/16/does-god-allow-a-woman-to-divorce-her-husband-for-failure-to-provide/

    I don’t know how he would keep the house unless you had a prenuptial agreement and he owned the house before you were married. Otherwise any divorce court would force him to sell the house and divide half the proceeds with you or he would have to get a loan for your half to pay you.

    Even if you don’t get the house, that is a small price to pay to be out of that kind of misery.

    I pray that God will guide you and give you wisdom in dealing with this tragic situation.

  23. I have just started reading your posts and enjoyed several of them. I have a query. Both my husband and I are Christians and have been married for 20 years. We have 2 kids who are still young. My husband was involved in porn soon after our marriage and refused to have any kind of intimacy, not even holding hands. I suspect that he does not even love me and is continuing the marriage only for the comfort of financial stability it offers him.

    He lost his job 2 years after we were married. Then we relocated and he has not found a job until now. It has been 17 years of unemployment. If I raise this issue it makes him angry and frustrated. I think he wants to start a business but lacks capital. I have a good job but I have to pay the mortgage, cars, family’s expenses and any holidays we have. Basically I cover everything. I have a cleaner who cleans the house. My husband takes care of the children, send them to school and helps with their homework. Any extra income I save for my children’s future education and our retirement. There is not much extra to contribute towards his “dream business”. Maybe I am scared, in case he uses up the money for business and the business fails. I cannot earn back this kind of money now as I am much older now and coming to retirement age. He pays for all the expenses from my bank account. I never question him regarding how he spends the money or how much he spends. I use my money mainly to purchase items for our home. He is free to buy anything for himself. i don’t ask to account for each purchase.

    He has mentioned having a joint account. I have trust issues; my marriage is not even normal. I have dealt with wives whose husbands left the marriage and the kids with all the family money in a joint account. Letting a husband have access to the wife’s account may be ideal in a good marriage but not otherwise. His family has also been hinting that my inheritance monies from my dad’s estate should be shared equally with him. I am frankly disgusted with this as he has been so fussy looking for jobs and has left me to struggle with the family’s finances for years, despite my deteriorating health. I want to share what I have with him and the children but he wants to control what happens to the money. Legally he is not even entitled to this money. If I have to hand over to my husband what my father struggled to earn during his lifetime in the name of submission, I have decided either to pass on everything to the kids by a will or to forego my entitlement and give away everything to charity. Less fight this way.

    I would appreciate your views.

    Concerned

  24. Thank you for sharing, I appreciate very much that your seeking to obey God in your outreach to other Christians. As for the differences in our Roles as Christian Men and Woman to save wordage here I will leave a link for you that shows why we need to have God given roles both in Marriage and in the Church and also another link on why there is error in the Churches today.

    Roles- https://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2015/06/23/woman-are-precious-to-god/

    Error in Churches- http://freedomborn.wordpress.com/2014/06/16/my-battle-with-confusion/

    I was also wondering why you think because you have been divorced you can’t be in a Position of Authority in the Church, yes I have heard this before but found the Scripture used was out of context but perhaps you know of others.

    “Christ”ian Love – Anne.

  25. FreedomBorn,

    Thank for your kind words. I believe I am not qualified for the position of Pastor or deacon(local church offices) because of my divorce based on this passage:

    “A bishop then must be blameless, the husband of one wife, vigilant, sober, of good behaviour, given to hospitality, apt to teach;”
    I Timothy 3:2 (KJV)

    I believe the phrase “husband of one wife” refers to a man not being divorced, that he is still the husband of his first wife. Some churches teach this refers to a prohibition against polygamy while other churches believe it prohibits both a divorced man or a polygamist from being a Pastor. I personally believe it is only referring to a a divorced man and it is not talking about polygamy.

    There is another place in the Bible that uses the same phrasing but instead is talking about Christian women, specifically widows that would be supported by and thus serve the church:

    “Let not a widow be taken into the number under threescore years old, having been the wife of one man.” – I Timothy 5:9 (KJV)

    Now no one would argue that the phrase here in I Timothy 5:9 “having been the wife of one man” was talking about wives being polygamous but instead we understand as referring to the fact that a woman could not come into the full time support and therefore service of the church if she had been divorced. I this is why I believe the restriction that a Bishop and deacon must be the husband of one wife refers to the fact that they were not divorced.

    Having said that. Even if were not divorced I would still not considered myself called to be a Pastor of a local church. Pastors of local churches still have many political ties. If a man takes on the pastorate of an existing church when they church takes him on he must agree to enforce and abide by the interpretations of Scripture and traditions of that church. Even if in the case of church planters there often times many political considerations that inhibit Pastors from teaching politically correct things.

    God uses men both inside the church and through its ministries to serve his will and he also uses men outside the church to teach or serve him in other ways. I believe my calling is the latter. I can say the things that many Pastors are afraid to say but they now what I am saying is right and Biblical. I truly believe the revival will first come in the home, in marriage and families and then it will come to the churches. The people’s hearts and minds must be changed first by them listening to the Word of God, the whole word of God and not just the parts that are publicly spoken in church. That is what I am trying to do through this ministry.

  26. What does the Bible say about women working outside the home?

    Whether or not a woman should work outside the home is a struggle for many couples and families. The Bible does have instructions regarding the role of women. In Titus 2:3-4, Paul gives these instructions as to how a young married woman is to be trained by older women: “…train the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands so that no one will malign the Word of God.” In this passage, the Bible is clear that when children are in the picture, that is where the young woman’s responsibility lies. The older women are to teach the younger women and to live lives that glorify God. Keeping these responsibilities in mind, an older woman’s time can be spent at the Lord’s leading and her discretion.

    Proverbs 31 speaks of “a wife of noble character.” Starting at verse 11, the writer praises this woman as one who does everything in her power to care for her family. She works hard to keep her house and her family in order. Verses 16, 18, 24, and 25 show that she is so industrious that she also moonlights with a cottage industry that provides additional income for her family. This woman’s motivation is important in that her business activities were the means to an end, not an end in themselves. She was providing for her family, not furthering her career, or working to keep up with the neighbors. Her employment was secondary to her true calling—the stewardship of her husband, children, and home.

    The Bible nowhere forbids a woman from working outside the home. However, the Bible does teach what a woman’s priorities are to be. If working outside the home causes a woman to neglect her children and husband, then it is wrong for that woman to work outside the home. If a Christian woman can work outside the home and still provide a loving, caring environment for her children and husband, then it is perfectly acceptable for her to work outside the home. With those principles in mind, there is freedom in Christ. Women who work outside the home should not be condemned, and neither should women who focus on the stewardship of the home be treated with condescension.

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