Does God care about how you as a Christian women dress? Does the Bible provide guidelines for how a Christian woman should dress?
If you are looking for an exact dress code, down to lengths of clothing and what parts of your body must be covered when and where you will find no such thing in the Bible. However, if you are looking for Biblical principles that can guide you as Christian a woman in how to dress the Bible does give these principles.
Here are some Biblical principles for women’s dress that should guide you as you select your clothing, whether it is when you purchase it, or when you are choosing when to wear it.
Principle #1 – Your physical beauty is symbolic of the spiritual beauty of the Church
Your beauty is symbolic of the beauty of the church.
Psalm 45 which is a messianic prophecy of Christ and the Church says this:
“So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him…The king’s daughter is all glorious within: her clothing is of wrought gold. She shall be brought unto the king in raiment of needlework…” -Psalm 45:13-14(KJV)
In Ephesians 5, where Paul talks about marriage being symbolic of the relationship of Christ to his Church he writes:
“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.” – Ephesians 5:25-27(KJV)
Just as God wants his Church to be glorious, without spot or wrinkle, and without blemish, so too a woman should keep up her appearance, not only for her husband if she is married, but also out of respect for the symbolism for which God designed her.
So when you as a woman dress, you should accentuate your beauty knowing that your physical beauty, is symbolic of the spiritual beauty of Christ’s Bride, the Church. You dress first and foremost to please God and to show the beauty of his creation – which is you!
Principle #2 – You should dress appropriately for the occasion
Contrary to the modern meaning of modesty, the Biblical meaning of a woman dressing modestly means that women are to dress “appropriately”. Modesty is such a huge subject, and especially the interpretation of passages such as I Timothy 2:9 that I needed to write an entire separate post on the topic. You can find it here at What does Modesty mean in I Timothy 2:9.
In summary though, dressing modestly Biblically speaking does not specifically mean “not dressing in a sexual way”. It means to dress appropriately for the occasion. So while it may be perfectly acceptable for you to wear a bikini to the beach, it would not be appropriate for you to wear a bikini to a job (unless you are a life guard or a model) or to a church service.
Principle #3 – You should dress in feminine clothing
Someone should be able to look at your clothes wherever you go, and just by your clothing they should be able to tell you are a woman. Yes clothing styles change, but a woman should always look like a woman in her culture (whatever women wear) and a man should look like a man (whatever men wear).
“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” -Deuteronomy 22:5 (KJV)
This passage from Deuteronomy does not forbid a woman from wearing pants (yes there are some Christians who still teach this). There was a time in our culture and history where pants were strictly the purview of men, and at those times it may have been wrong for a woman to wear pants, especially when there were no pants designed especially for women. But fashions and styles do change, and women have pants now that are made and cut especially for them, and these pants are pants a man would not be caught dead in.
In Roman society, before 200 BC, men and women both wore togas. After 200 BC women began to wear stolas and only prostitutes still wore togas like men. Before 200 BC, when men and women both wore togas, the only difference may have been a colorful belt or the color of the material that would have separated a man from a woman. Even after 200 BC, peasant men and women still both wore tunics for their daily work. Only color variations or belts may have separated them.
This would be exactly the same as men and women both wearing pants today – there is no issue with this as long as the woman’s pants communicate a feminine style as we understand it in our culture.
Principle #4 – You should dress to please your husband
“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:24 (KJV)
God wants women to submit to their husbands in everything. Everything includes how you dress and how you manage your appearance as well as many other things.
When you are married, you should dress to please your husband. Find out what colors he likes on you, find out what styles he likes and try to wear those types of clothes.
This also means you should dress sexy for your husband in the appropriate circumstances. If you know your husband will be taking you out for a night on the town, why not go pick up some sexy dress to wear for him? If you doubt whether this is right or wrong, I invite you read my post I referred to earlier What does Modesty mean in I Timothy 2:9.
There is nothing wrong with you looking sexy for your husband in the appropriate circumstances, whether that is wearing lingerie for him at home, or wearing a sexy dress for a night on the town, or wearing a sexy bathing suit for a trip to beach. Your body is work of art that God has graciously gifted to your husband, and you should not be hiding your beauty.
Principle #5 – Don’t be lazy with your appearance
Yes big tee shirts and sweats are more comfortable than wearing attractive clothing. But as a Christian woman your appearance is important to God (see principle #1). If you are married, God has given you to your husband and your appearance should be (and most likely will be) important to him (see principle #4).
As believers, and specifically as a Christian woman, God wants you to do everything you can to the best of your ability. It is one thing if you are sick, or if you are doing some work around the house then your clothing might not be as attractive. But besides those limited times, a woman has duty to keep up her appearance, not only for God but also for her husband.
“Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord”
Colossians 3:23(NIV)
Modern Christian women today mock the women of the 1950’s who prided themselves in making themselves pretty before their husbands came home from work – what was wrong with that? This is what God wants from Godly Christian women.
Does this mean you have to have a dress and nylons on each day and go to the beauty salon before your husband gets home? Of course not. But what it means is making sure you have showered, that you have done your hair and maybe you have an attractive pair of jeans on with a nice shirt when you husband gets home.
You should not view this as some dreary task, but it should be looked at as a privilege and honor that is given you by God, your ability to make yourself beautiful!
Principle #6 – What others think does and does not matter
This is a very important principle for you as a Christian woman to understand.
In some cases it does matter what others think of how you are dressed. If you as a Christian woman wear the wrong clothing for the wrong occasion, it might offend others and also bring shame on Christ if they know you are a Christian.
You can wear a bikini to the beach, but if you wore it to Church others would be offended, and they would be right in being offended, because that is inappropriate attire for Church (see I Timothy 2:9).
But let’s turn the bikini situation around when you go to the beach. If you and your husband are going to the beach and you happen to be wearing a bikini, and there happens to be a family there from church they need to leave that between you and the Lord. The only exception I would say to this is if you were specifically going to the beach with a family whom you knew were opposed to bikinis, then temporarily out of respect you might not wear one in that instance.
You should not be picking dresses out for a night on the town with your husband, with the thought in your mind of “what would this person think or that person from church think if they saw me wearing this with him” – your thoughts should only be of two people, God and your husband.
God is not ashamed of your beauty, your husband is not ashamed of your beauty, and neither should you be ashamed of your beauty.
Principle #7 – Do not hide your beauty from other men for fear of causing lust
Many Christian women have since the early days of the church dressed with this idea in mind – that they cannot wear nice things for their husband or show their figure as they may cause other men to lust in doing so. If you believe that Church tradition trumps Biblical theology, then I can’t help you. But if you understand that well-meaning men and women (even some Church fathers who came after the Apostles) added a lot of tradition to God’s Word then I can help you.
I invite you to read my post on What does the Bible say about Lust to fully understand the issue of lust from a Biblical perspective. A summary of what I said in that post is that Lust is not the same as sexual arousal.
There is no shame in a woman displaying her beauty, and there is no shame in men appreciating that beauty or even being sexually aroused by that beauty. Before you reject that premise, please read the post I just mentioned. Sin comes with how men handle their sexual arousal, or appreciation of the female form.
If he begins to think of how he can actually get you to go to bed with him (and you are not married) then those have become lustful thoughts, sexually covetous thoughts. But as a Christian woman you don’t have to go around at all time with a sheet over your entire body from head to toe as to not cause men to lust after you.
No scripture ever teaches this concept, it is completely added by the traditions of men.
Conclusion
I hope as a Christian woman you will search the Scriptures. Then discuss this respectfully with your husband. If you need to make changes, then make them. Know that God wants your best in all areas of your life, and dressing in beautiful ways appropriate to the occasion is what God has called you to. Do not hide the beautiful work of art that God has made, but display it in ways that please both God and your husband.
Biblical Gender Roles 
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I enjoyed your post! I was worried when I first started reading it was going to be a list of do’s and dont’s but you kept this full of grace and more about the particular woman and her personal relationship with the Lord, which is how all decisions should be made and how we decide how to live our lives. Thanks for the insight!
You are very welcome! Thank you for your gracious comments.
Very good post. One of the things that Christian women,( and men) need to be aware of is ‘fashioning themselves according to the former lusts in your ignorance in 1 Peter 1:13-16. It goes on to say to’ be ye holy in all manner of conversation’. A woman ,or man may where something that is not necessarily sinful, but it’s a worldly fashion…it represents that which is of this world. 1 John 2:15-16 speak of this warning as well. What are your thoughts. How does this all apply here?
My friend, God’s standards do not change depending on a situation. As Christians we should make every effort to not serve as stumbling blocks.No matter where you go you must dress in a manner pleasing to God. If you dress anywhere in public that can cause someone to lust,that is dishonoring the Lord and is not representing Christ well. Modest dress is not exclusive to Church services. Dressing a certain way for a husband should be behind closed doors and not in public to cause others to stumble.We must represent Christ where ever we go.Not just in works but also in how we dress.
Chris,
I agree that God’s law does not change depending on the situation. But the situation is often what determines whether an action is right or wrong.
Even by your own words, you seem to think that a wife can where lingerie for her husband behind closed doors. So you would probably believe in the situation of “behind closed” doors it is moral and right for a woman to wear a bikini if only her husband could see her in it, but you would probably believe it is wrong for her to wear a bikini to the beach. So for you a bikini would be right or wrong “depending on the situation”.
The major difference between us(and I used to believe as you do as I grew up in Churches that taught exactly what you are saying) is that you believe women must hide their beauty in public for fear of causing men to lust or causing a stumbling block.
If lust meant a man being sexually aroused – then you might be right. But that is not what lust is Biblically speaking. Biblically speaking lust is covetousness. Paul says “for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.” The Bible does not tell women they must dress in a way that hides their beauty(as many Muslims do), for fear of sexually arousing other men by their beauty. That entire concept is man made tradition and found nowhere in the Bible.
The issue of the “stumbling block” is when we put our freedom(something we believe we can do) in another believer’s face. If my wife wore a bikini with me to go the beach their is no sin in that, even if other men were aroused by her beauty. This would be no more sinful than if I were cooking barbequing hamburgers at the beach and it made the men around me hungry. The stumbling block, the sin would come if I were to go to a Christian friend of mines house who only believed in full bathing suits and not bikinis and I have my wife wear a bikini to their pool – thus throwing my freedom in their face.
Lust is not sexual arousal or even imagination, lust is covetousness – the desire and fantasy to actually try and possess a woman outside marriage.
Thank you, i was in a discussion on appropriate clothing for a woman,a woman’s hair and u were really helpful.
The bible mentions don’t masturbate, don’t lust, etc. Well it is NOT FAIR when men are tempted by girls dressing half naked.
I don’t want to hear that men must control themselves. No. We need to stop playing games. How about we not tempt men in the first place.
Being tempted and being expected to fight it is a horrible thing. You don’t eat tempting foods in front of someone on a diet. You don’t wave a chicken leg in their face and say “Just fight the temptation. Its easy.”
Its not easy. Its a horrible position to be in, and its WRONG to put someone in that position. Girls have NO IDEA what its like to be men.
Expecting to resist sexual temptation is like expecting someone not to drink when their thirsty. Not to scratch when they’re itch. Etc.
I dont think its fair to expect someone not to masturbate when sex is always rubbed in their face. As a boy, there are many times where I DON’T want to be distracted by sexuality. Then I’ll go into a store and the girls will be dressed sexually and that will put sex on my mind.
And you’re answer to that is that men just have to control themselves (like its easy) ???
How bout someone locks you in a room without water and says “Just don’t think about drinking”.
THIS IS NOT FAIR.
What particular square inches (or square centimeters) are the minimum for a Christian:
Woman to keep covered in public?
Man to keep covered in public?
Whoever, if any, choose to respond, please explain why for each.
What particular square inches (or square centimeters) are the minimum for a Christian:
Woman to keep covered in public?
Man to keep covered in public?
Whoever, if any, choose to respond, please explain why for each.
Thanks.
I am a Christian man, and I do appreciate the natural beauty of a women and would be concerned for myself if I wasn’t drawn in by this beauty, but would have to disagree with you in these matters of dressing appropriately, I have to continually guard my heart in these area. I don’t appreciate a woman who dresses provocatively around me, this is like kryptonite to superman. I know that women are a blessing and a good christian women is true blessing, i.e.” behind every great man is a good women”.
I do desire for my wife to be confident in who she is but wouldn’t appreciate provocative dressing around other men. I think that most men can easily be distracted by a women dressing in tight clothes and wearing low cut shirts and I feel in my heart that this is a distraction and encourages carnal thinking. I want to see all people for who they are in personality and heart and not according to their exterior. Now with this being said I think it’s healthy to be clean and well kept and if blessed so to wear fashionable clothing, as long it doesn’t cause another to be tempted in thought that encourages temptations. We know that we can sin in hearts with thought alone. Just my two cents.
thanks
Kives4745,
Thanks for your respectful disagreement. If you don’t mind can I ask you a few questions?
Your Statement:
I agree as Christians we need to guard our hearts but what do you feel you must guard your heart from? What specific things in this area relating to beautiful women?
Your Statement:
Why do you consider beautiful women who dressed “provactively” “kryptonite” to you? How do they make you weaker?
Your Statement:
What do you view as “carnal thinking?” as it relates to women dressing in tight clothes and low cut shirts. Be as specific as you can.
You Statement:
Forgive me, but these two statements of yours seem to conflict. You say you would be worried if you were not drawn to the beauty of women, yet you say you want to see people according to their personality and their heart and “not according to their exterior”.
So my questions for you on these two statements would be.
Do you feel that you cannot appreciate a woman’s beauty without knowing her personality and her heart? Another way of putting this question is – do you feel it is a corruption of man’s nature that he can can glean pleasure from and be attracted to a woman without knowing anything about her(whether it be her personality, her heart or her values)?
Finally. In general women’s attraction mechanisms are more “holistic” – in that it takes a combination of a man’s handsomeness, his personality and his heart for a woman to truly be attracted to a man in most cases. Do you think God meant for men to be more like women in this regard?
I look forward to your answers.
You said to dress in a manner pleasing to your husband and God. What if your husband is the type that wants you not to wear some certain clothes and hairstyles because he believes they are worldly.
For example, he may not want his wife to wear pants, wear makeup, hair extensions etc. However, the wife sees no sin in them. She dresses modestly and looks good. Is the wife still supposed to dress to please her husband?
Viki,
Absolutely a woman is to dress to please her husband. It is irrelevant if the wife sees no sin in them if her husband does not want her to wear them and she defies his wishes then they become sin for her.
I really enjoyed your article, it is very helpful. 🙂
I was reading through the comments and I noticed your replies were very well constructed and biblical which I appreciate in conversation. I also really liked your answers and opinions very much. 🙂
With this, there is a question I was interested to ask, and I would really like to hear your view on it.
One of the comments I read was of someone asking basically if a woman could wear, for example, shorts if her husband personally didn’t like that sort of attire.
The commenter also added that the wife already dresses modestly and looks good, and she doesn’t see sin in wearing pants.
In your answer to this question you said,
“Absolutely a woman is to dress to please her husband.”
(Which I agree with)
And the rest of your reply said this,
“It is irrelevant if the wife sees no sin in them if her husband does not want her to wear them and she defies his wishes then they become sin for her.”
This is where my question branches off of, I guess. I know the Bible doesn’t say that the husband needs to ‘dress to please his wife’ or anything like that obviously, and he doesn’t need to, but my question is what if the scenario was flipped?
An example situation could be a couple that are both modest, well dressed people. In the summer, the husband likes to wear his button ups in the style that the top part of the shirt is very open, so you can see his bare chest (as a lot of usually younger adult men like to wear this way in the summer).
But, the wife doesn’t like him wearing his shirts like that, at the beach maybe it could pass, but for everyday sort of clothing she doesn’t like it.
So, in this sort of flipped situation, would your answer to the previous commenter’s change much, drastically, maybe not at all? I would really like to know! 🙂
Ken Davis,
Your Question:
The answer to your question is actually illustrated in a Biblical story:
II Samuel 6:14 &20-23 (KJV)
So here we see a husband dancing in the street with only his underwear on praising God. His wife did not approve of his lack of clothing and scolded him for it.
What was David’s response to his wife? He rebuked her.
What was God’s response to David’s wife? He made her barren.
You have your answer. I am not saying a husband cannot ever take his wife’s thoughts and feelings into consideration as he should. But ultimately it is his decision what he wears, not his wife. She is not his equal, she is not his partner, she is not his authority.
Thank you for taking the time to talk about this subject I will take notes God bless you always
Thank you so much for making me understand about modesty……….. I really had a problem and confused how I dressed up for my husband……… I will try my best to look good and presentable both to God and my husband……… Thanks to your article
Very Insightful
Great, very helpful indeed.
Very good piece of advice. I have been a model in the past and was always taught to look my best when going to a place of worship.
I have a lot of pride in my appearance and never feel like I’m showing off. Have given some talks on beauty and personal appearance. I have a hard time convincing my husband that it is not showing off or trying to out do others…it’s self respect and pride for God
Sharon,
I don’t think it is wrong to wear a nice dress and do your hair and makeup for Church services. However I do think women need to be careful of dressing in a way that might seem to be sexually arousing. Some slinky dress that would be perfectly acceptable for you to wear for a night on the town with your hubby might not be appropriate for a morning worship service. But at the same time you don’t have dress like a Quaker woman with every inch of skin covered from your head to your toes either.
This is good teaching I’ve learn a lot I always learn that woman should not wear pants and not to wear sexy dress even with my husband when we r going out…thanks
This sounded beautiful, God bless you. I believe it will be helpful to me and my wife has well. We all shall improve.
God bless you
Interesting article, but i do think there are certainly limitations on the way a woman dresses, in that her intentions must be pure. I heard a young Christian lady comment once that she was ‘dressed to kill’ referring to the sexy style she had chosen which was very tight short dress, showing every curve and supposed good looking feature of her body.
Now, the Bible also speaks in revelation of the attire of an harlot…. I take it that would be one and the same thing. It is dressing in a manner, no matter who you think you might be pleasing, you can go too far in your efforts to please your husband. This is obviously relating to a public situation, as in the home there is no thought of such a thing, it is the response of a man to what he believes a woman is trying to say by her clothing.
So care must be taken not to convey that message to men. This is achieved not only by dress style but behavior as well. I was recently trying to advise a beautiful young sister, a good friend of mine on these things, but her mother wants to promote her daughters sexy beauty, which she never had as a young person, tending to be overweight, so she is living life sadly thru her daughter and feeding on the attention that comes her way because of this. At our first morning service i had pointed out to the 14yr old that her dress, which was very nice, but it was quite short, and being buttoned down the front then tended to open wider when she sat down, which made the dress pull significantly shorter as well, so i was concerned if she failed to keep her legs crossed her underwear would be seen. She wore this with a pair of high heeled knee high boots.
In the evening at our gospel meeting we gather up a group of kids that are often pretty rough street kids. Their comments were ‘look at that girl, she looks like a prostitute ‘. This was heartbreaking to me, as this was the very thing i did not want to happen, as she will be devastated to think people thought that, but her mother is largely to blame. So, i do suggest that the attire of an harlot (designed to draw the attention and lust of the opposite sex )is wrong, there is plenty of beautiful clothing to wear without conveying that message.
Michael,
I agree with you that are limitations on what a woman can where in certain places. We read the following about how women are to dress for attendance and worship in the assembly. To put the statement in its full context I have I will both the verses before and some verses after it:
Now as we know the chapters and verses were added many centuries after Paul wrote his letter to Timothy so we need realize chapters 2 and 3 are one discussion. Paul begins a discussion about how men and women are to conduct themselves in the assembly in I Timothy 2:8 and ends his discussion of conduct in the assembly after giving the qualifications for Bishops and Deacons in I Timothy chapter 3.
Now that we know the context is conduct within the assembled church for worship and instruction let us zoom in on this verse:
The phrase “modest” is a translation of the Greek “Kosmios” which means “seemly”, “appropriate” or “ordered”. The English word “apparel” is a translation of the word “Katastole“, which comes from two Greek words, Kata and Stole. This literally refers to a “complete stola”. A stola in New Testament times was a one piece robe with holes for the head and arms. Often times a strap would be worn around the middle below the breasts to give the stola some form around the body. Sometimes a stola had sleeves, other times it was sleeveless.
So it would have been very common for women to wear sleeveless and shorter stola’s without the full wrap during the week while the labored around the home or elsewhere. It was only during formal occasions that they would wear a complete stola fully covering themselves.
So I say all this to say – I agree 100% with you that the mother in this case was completely wrong in having her daughter dress that way to a service. The mother would have been wrong if she dress that way to a worship service. God is clear in I Timothy 2 that the women are to be appropriately fully clothed for worship and it is not to be a fashion show nor should they be trying to draw attention their beauty for worship.
But now let’s take this outside of worship. Do I think it is ever right for a woman to wear the attire of a harlot in some other public venue other than the church? Again the answer is no. Now what is the attire of harlot? That changes with each culture. But in each culture it is clothing that indicates that a woman is willing to give her body for money or something else in trade.
Today the clothing of a harlot would be a combination of these things – a woman wearing a super tight shirt with revealing most of her cleavage with her breasts almost popping out. It would also include a very short skirt one that goes up to her rear end so that her butt cheeks almost fall out the back. Usually the clothing of a harlot includes wearing fishnet stockings and some type of boots or heels.
Now does this mean I think any kind of tight shirt on a woman is wrong to wear in public? No. Do I think it is wrong for a woman to wear a shirt in public that shows any kind of cleavage? No I do not think that is wrong. But it really comes down to the package deal. We know when a woman is trying dress like a harlot. It is usually obvious.
But where I have a problem with Christians on the far right of this is that they take I Timothy 2:9 and use it outside its context to say women must dress the same at all times when they go outside their home as they would when they go to a worship service. The Scriptures do not support this belief. Women should dress appropriate to the occasion and to please their husbands. So what that means is if a woman wants to wear a sexy evening dress out for a night on the town that shows her figure more and shows a bit more cleavage there is absolutely no sin in her doing that even though she is wearing it public. Wearing an sexy evening gown and dressing like a harlot are two different things – and I want to make that important distinction.
But if she were to wear this same sexy evening gown to a church service she would be wrong – that is not the appropriate place for such attire. It would be inappropriate for her to wear to general family events. I have heard of young women, who purposefully wear these types of clothes to conservative family members houses just to stick in their face. That is absolutely wrong! You should know your audience and as a Christian if you are visiting a very conservative family member then have some respect.
But then I have heard of this situation. A man takes his wife to a public beach and she wears a bikini to please him. While they are there they run into another Christian family they know that is more conservative and they only believe in women wearing full bathing suits. In this case there was no intent to offend. The more conservative family should not judge the woman for wearing a bikini to a beach for her husband.
So yes I agree with you that there are limitations. We may not always agree where those limitations are, but we agree they are there.
Michael,
I wanted to address this one other comment you said:
I disagree that any clothing designed to draw the attention sexual desire of the opposite sex is wrong. You see in the Scriptures desire is not always wrong. It is only when we desire to do something sinful, that if becomes wrong.
Many Christians point to Matthew 5:28 to say it is wrong for a man to be turned on(sexually turned on) by sight of a woman he is not married to:
Others will say it is not wrong for him to be turned on by the beauty of a woman, but that he sins if he dwells on it, or has any sexual fantasies about her.
Again both these common Christian beliefs about the nature of lust are WRONG and not supported by the Scriptures. We cannot insert what we think “to lust after her” means. We must let the Bible define what lust is for us. In the book of Romans God defense what lust is for us:
So the Apostle Paul reveals to us that lust is covetousness. In other words, it is not desire itself that is wrong, but only wrong desire. Now let’s go back to where Paul points us back to the 10th commandment to find out what covetousness is:
Often times we can tell what a word means by the context in which it is used. Again – to desire something is not sin in and of itself. It is wrong to desire that something that would be sinful to do. In the context of this commandment – would it be wrong to go into someone’s house and find it desirable? The answer is no. Would it be wrong to imagine what would be like live inside that house? The answer again is no. What would be wrong is if you began to think of how you could wrongly take or use that house. Perhaps you start to scheme thinking of your neighbor going off on a trip – that you will slip in the back door of the house and sleep in his bed while he is gone. That my friend is covetousness. Simply finding his home desirable or even imagining what it would be like to live in it is not sinful.
In the exact same way, it is not wrong for a man to find either a single woman or even a married woman sexually desirable or even to entertain sexual fantasies about either a single or married woman. Where it becomes wrong is if a man allows his normal sexual enjoyment of the beauty of women around him to turn into covetousness. If he begins to think of how he can seduce his neighbor’s wife, or even his neighbor’s daughter into sex with him outside of marriage than these thoughts become covetous and therefore lustful thoughts.
With that said as Scriptural backdrop lets now return to your definition of a harlot attire being clothing “designed to draw the attention and lust of the opposite sex”. There are many kinds of clothing that a woman could wear that is designed to draw the attention and sexual desire of men that is NOT harlot’s attire. We all know what harlot’s attire looks like as I discussed in the previous comment.
Is a bikini at the beach alluring to men? You bet it is. But does a woman wearing a bikini say in our culture that she is a harlot and her body is for sale? Absolutely not.
If a woman wears shorts and a tight top to a summer baseball came – an outfit that could be very sexually alluring to the men around her, does this clothing say in our culture that she is a harlot and her body for is for sale? Absolutely not.
My point is that a harlot’s attire is more than just clothing that is sexually alluring, but it is clothing that says “My body is up for grabs to whatever man gives me what I want for it”.
“There is no shame in a woman displaying her beauty, and there is no shame in men appreciating that beauty or even being sexually aroused by that beauty”
There is something definitely wrong about this statement you just made. Jesus Christ told us In the book of Matthew that a man looking at a woman to lust after her has committed adultery with her already in his heart
Please is sexual arousal not lust?
Please don’t teach something outside of the Bible misleading people who want to learn
Teach the truth the word of God is the TRUTH
It’s funny that with the other principle you sited a scripture but when it came to principle 7 there was no single scripture ( didn’t find any in God’s word did you?)
chukwudeborah,
Actually I have written extensively on what God’s Word says about lust on this site – just not in that particular post.
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/what-is-lust/
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2014/05/26/is-sexual-arousal-lust/
And also on my new site dedicated exclusively to the topic of sex from Biblical perspective:
https://biblicalsexology.com/does-the-bible-condemn-sexual-fantasy-masturbation/
Here my short answer to your question about what lust is and then I would refer you to those other articles for more in-depth looks at these passages.
In Matthew 5:28 Jesus Christ said:
“But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
So what does it mean to lust after a woman? First we need to remember that lust does not exclusively apply to sex, but it is any wrong desire. So let’s go to Romans 7:7 to see the definition of lust according to the Bible:
“What shall we say then? Is the law sin? God forbid. Nay, I had not known sin, but by the law: for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet.”
So the Bible tells us that lust is covetousness, that it is a violation of the 10th commandment. So now lets go look at the 10th commandment:
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”
So based on the context of how coveting is used in the 10th commandment we know that it is not merely referring to merely finding someone or something desirable that our neighbor possesses. If mere desire was wrong, then all commerce would be sin. After all – a man desires another man’s cattle or his house or land before he offers to purchase it? Does he not? So if coveting is not mere desire than what is it? It is the desire the desire to unlawfully possess or use something or someone. And in the context of sex, it is the desire to commit fornication with a woman – the desire unlawfully take her (rape her) or entice her (seduce her) into sex outside of marriage.
Therefore based upon the Scriptural definition of lust we can rightly understand Christ’s words in Matthew 5:28 that for a man to look on a woman to lust after her is for a man to look on her with the desire to have unlawful sex with her. A man being sexually aroused by the sight of a woman or even imaging what it would be like to have sex with her is very different than him entertaining thoughts and desires of getting her to have sex with him outside of marriage.
I hope this helps show that there is in fact Scripture which solidly backs up what I have said in this article.
My 13 year old daughter has pushed past the limits on appropriate clothing. She is a well figured body that looks like she could easily pass for 16-18 year old. I worry she will attract the wrong male attention at school.
I am struggling in how to approach her that it would be left in a positive manner.
Grant,
You are her father and spiritual head – so she must obey whatever dress standards you set for her.
Having said that – man to man what specifically do you feel are the limits she has past in dressing? It helps for you to formulate some standards if you have not already – and to know what you have those standards so you can correctly convey those to your daughter.
So according to you, women should tempt men to sin with lust and that is biblical? Men are visual and a married woman should keep her body to only her husband. You have contorted the bible and its meaning. Romans 14:20 and 1 corinthians 8:13 talks about food, how much worse it would be to use a womans body (Gods temple) to cause another to stumble? Read revelations 22:18
I would never and have never advocated for women to tempt men to sin with lust. Unfortunately, a lot of Christians, yourself included, are ignorant as to what lust actually is and what it means for a woman to tempt a man to lust after her.
The Bible defines lust as covetousness in Romans 7:7 where the Apostle Paul wrote “for I had not known lust, except the law had said, Thou shalt not covet”.
He points us back to the 10th commandment as the definition of lust.
And the 10th commandment in Exodus 20:17 says:
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.”
Are you lusting/coveting after your neighbor’s house if you find it desirable or even what it be like to live in that house? Of course not. So we know lust is not merely finding someone or something desirable. And that means finding a woman sexually desirable is NOT lust.
Nowhere in the Bible does it tell women not to dress in ways that show their form or will make men notice them. Nowhere. 1 Timothy 2:9 tells women to dress modestly, but that word means means appropriate, it does not mean fully covered at all times. What is appropriate to one occasion may not be appropriate to the other.
A woman literally trying to cause a man to lust is a woman who entices him with her words or body language, not simply with her clothing.
A woman could be dressed in a very traditional dress that covers most her body, but by her words or mannerisms toward a man entice him to lust after her (desire to have unlawful sex with her outside of marriage). On the other hand, a woman could be wearing shorts and shirt that show her form more but not act in any way that would invite men to think she wants sex outside of marriage. Again it is about so much more than a woman’s clothing.