Why Women Should Eat The Fruit of Their Husband’s Apple Tree

In Song of Solomon 2:3 the Bible says “As the apple tree among the trees of the wood, so is my beloved among the sons. I sat down under his shadow with great delight, and his fruit was sweet to my taste”.  These euphemisms in Song of Solomon 2:3 refer to a woman performing fellatio (oral sex) on her husband.

The Bible refers to sex as “the natural use of the woman” in Romans 1:27.   And while many Christians throughout the centuries have claimed that fellatio is an “unnatural act” for a woman to do on her husband – both the Bible and biology show it not an unnatural act.  In fact, God has specially designed woman to reap direct health benefits as a result of performing oral sex on her husband.

In my latest podcast for BGRLearning.com, I not only explain from the Bible why God wants women to perform fellatio on their husbands, but I also explain the relational and biological benefits of this for women as well as detailed techniques for doing this (and yes there are many ways this can be done).

Whether you are engaged, a newlywed or have been married many years this podcast will help women to better understand the significance of fellatio in marriage and the benefits not only to their husbands, but to them as well.

And if you already perform oral sex on your husband, but your struggle with feelings of shame while doing it this podcast can help you with that as well.

Go to BGRLearning.com to listen to this podcast as well as hundreds of other podcasts on gender roles, courtship, marriage and sex in marriage.

Why Women Should Eat the Fruit of Their Husband’s Apple Tree – BGRLearning

Are Strapless Wedding Dresses Immodest for Christian Women?

Many Christian women are told that it is immodest for them to consider any type of strapless wedding dress.  The primary reason they are told strapless wedding dresses are immodest is because they expose a woman’s shoulders and draw more attention to her cleavage which in turn will cause the men at the wedding and reception to lust.

The problem with this condemnation of Christian brides wearing strapless wedding dresses is that it is based on a faulty understanding of how the Bible defines modesty and lust.

In my new article for BiblicalSexology.com entitled “Are Strapless Wedding Dresses Immodest for Christian Women” I answer this question from the Bible and show how some traditional teachings about lust and modesty are not actually in line with the Biblical definitions of lust and modesty.

Click here to go that article.

Submissiveness, Reverence, Trustworthiness and Sexiness – 4 Habits Every Newlywed Wife Needs

There are four habits that every newlywed Christian wife needs to form in her marriage beginning on her wedding day.  And these are the habits of submissiveness, reverence, trustworthiness and sexiness.  In this new podcast I have produced for BGRLearning.com, I supply newlywed wives with biblically based, detailed and practical ways to help them establish these habits.

And on the term “sexiness”.  A lot of traditional women would have no issue with the habits of submissiveness, reverence and trustworthiness be required for wives but they would immediately raise their eyes at the thought that they must be sexy for their husbands.  Some think it is “un-lady like” or immodest for a wife to act in sexually arousing ways toward her husband.  Other women might say “I know I have to be submissive to my husband’s sexual desires – but where does the Bible say I have to be sexy toward him?”

In this podcast I show the answers to these questions and concerns from the Bible and practically apply these truths for newlywed Christian wives.  And while this podcast is primarily directed at newlywed Christian wives, it is never too late for Christian women who have been married many years to learn to incorporate these habits in their marriages as well.

Click here to go to BGRLearning.com and subscribe to listen to this podcast as well as gain access to hundreds of podcasts on the topics of masculinity, femininity, courtship, marriage and sex all from a Biblical perspective.

The War on Masculine Sexuality

The church’s war against masculine sexuality began around 50 A.D. when some post apostolic church fathers began to follow false doctrines of asceticism. Clement of Alexandria taught that sex was a desire of the flesh and that men should only have sex for “begetting children” and not because of “desire he feels for his wife”.  Later in 400 A.D., Augustine would call the sexual desire of a husband toward his wife a “venial fault”.

“Men should not sexually objectify women” , “Men are dogs”, “Men should only be sexually attracted to one woman and that is their wife”. It is these narratives and others that men are bombarded with every day of their lives. And make no mistake, these narratives represent a visceral hatred for male sexuality as God designed it. And at the same time that the church and feminists denigrate the visual and physical aspects of male sexuality – they exalt the feminine relational and emotional sexual nature as the ideal that men should strive for.

In my new article on BiblicalSexology.com I address this war on masculine sexuality and prove from the Scriptures why this war on male sexuality that began 2000 years ago was wrong from its very inception. Click here to go directly this article.

To listen to hundreds of podcasts on Biblical masculinity, marriage and sex click on the link below and subscribe to my podcast site.

A Biblical Guide To Ravishing Your Husband

The Bible commands that husbands are to be ravished by their wives in Proverbs 5:19. To fulfill this command of God requires the participation of both the husband and the wife.  Simply put, a man cannot be ravished by an un-ravishing wife. 

Thankfully, the Bible not only gives the command that husbands are to be ravished by their wives, but it also provides an entire book of the Bible with examples of erotic behavior that teaches wives how to ravish their husbands.  

The Song of Solomon is a book of erotic poetry which uses ancient middle eastern euphemisms to describe not only the bodies of the husband and wife but also sexual acts which the two lovers want to do with each other.

In this three-part podcast series, I first talk about WHY God wants women to become ravishing wives and then I give a very detailed guide from the sexual euphemisms of the Song of Solomon for HOW women can become ravishing wives.

I also talk about the six sexual categories of wives – the frigid, the submissive, the romantic, the nympho, the manipulative and the ravishing.  And I explain why only one of these categories of wives is following God’s template for sex in marriage.  A woman first needs to determine what category she is starting from before she can make the necessary changes to become the wife she needs to be to her husband in the sexual arena.

TRIGGER WARNING: This series will be extremely offensive to those who adhere to the modern feminine romantic view of sex.  It will also be offensive to some traditional Christians who think the quality of sex in marriage is unimportant and we need not as Christians discuss such matters in so great detail.

Click on the link in my bio to subscribe to BGRLearning.com and listen to this 3-part series on how to become a ravishing wife. My podcast site also has hundreds of other podcasts related to gender roles, marriage and sex.

This series is also available for single women as well to help them prepare for how to become ravishing wives once they marry.

Why Sadomasochism Is Unbiblical

Sadomasochism is a word used to represent two corruptions of the human nature by sin, sadism and masochism. In this article I wrote for Biblicalsexology.com, I show how sadism and masochism are actually a perversion of the God given desires of man to dominate his wife and the woman to be dominated by her husband.

The sad truth is that there are many Christian marriages, marriages built on the principles of Biblical patriarchy as well as the Biblical principles of Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), that have fallen prey to this perversion of sadomasochism.

I have read articles elsewhere online about sadomasochism from a Christian perspective, but none of them compare and contrast the biblical practices of CDD and dominant sex with sadomasochism. In my article I clearly articulate the two styles of sex which God allows in marriage which are affectionate sex (i.e. making love) as well as dominant sex with the sinful practice of sadomasochistic sex.

You can read the full article here on Biblicalsexology.com.

Does 1 Corinthians 7:2 Make Husbands and Wives Sexual Equals?

In this new article I wrote for BiblicalSexology.com, I tackle the common but false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 which states “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”. For decades, to appease our post-feminist culture, this passage has been used to teach the false doctrine of the sexual equality of husbands and wives in marriage.

In this article I prove from the original Greek language of 1 Corinthians 7:2 as well as other Scripture passages on the relationship of the husband toward his wife, that the husband and wife do NOT exclusively own one another sexually. The husband has exclusive sexual ownership over his wife, the wife does not have this over her husband. I show that this passage does not prohibit polygamy, but rather it allows it.

And I also show why the common false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 is part of a larger effort to elevate a woman’s power over her husband, something God never gave her.

You can read the full article here at BiblicalSexology.com.

10 Rules of Sex For Wives

I recently had a woman named Monica write me about 10 rules for sex that her husband gave her at the beginning their marriage. These rules are very good applications of what the Bible says about submission and sex in marriage. I asked how many years Monica and her husband have been married in a followup email and she responded that they have been married for 13 years. So ladies listen up. These rules have made for both a holy and happy marriage for Monica and her husband and they will for you as well if you follow them.

You can read the full article on BiblicalSexology.com with Monica’s Husband’s 10 Rules for sex.

Is the Red Pill Concept of the Male Imperative Biblical?

In the first two parts of this series “Is Red Pill Biblical?”, we established the fact that some observations in Red Pill do indeed match with Biblical teachings on gender roles.  We also showed that Red Pill is not just objective intersexual behavioral theory even though its most vocal advocates would like to think it is.  While Red Pill is built on observations of nature, specifically human biology and behavior, it also interweaves these findings with its own philosophy and its own moral judgements as to how we should act based on these observations.

Now that we have looked at Red Pill from a very high level we will dive into more of the specific concepts in Red Pill starting with the Red Pill concept of the Male Imperative.

What is the Red Pill Concept of the Male Imperative?

Rollo Tomassi wrote an article for his Red Pill blog, TheRationalMale.com, entitled “The New Paternity”.  In that article he states that “Men’s biological, masculine, imperative is to spread the seed – unlimited access to unlimited sexuality”.  In “Pseudo-Virginity” he writes that men have “polygynous sexual strategy”.

Tomassi writes in “Women & Sex” , “One of the single most annoying tropes I read / hear from men (more so than women) is the “Women are just as / more sexual than men” canard… Patently false. A healthy male produces between 12 to 17 times the amount of testosterone a woman does. It is a biological impossibility for a woman to want sex as much as, or as often as men. Trust me, when a woman says, “I don’t understand why sex is so important to guys” she’s speaking the literal truth”.

And in “The Truth About Standards”,  Tomassi states “Men are so motivated by sexual experience that it supersedes the need for food. Research shows brain cells specific to men fire up when mates are present and override the need to eat. Take this as you will, but it does reinforce the idea that for men, sex is in fact a biological need”.

So, to summarize what Tomassi has stated, Red Pill teaches that the Male Imperative is for a man to spread his seed to as many women as possible and as a direct result of this men are polygynous in their sexual strategy.  And a man’s sex drive is more than 10 times what a woman’s sex drive is and it is a biological need.

Is the Male Imperative Biblical?

Some people wrongly think a need is only something you will die from if you do not meet it but this is untrue.  There are many human needs that left unmet will not kill us, but they will indeed cause greater    or lesser psychological damage depending on the person.  Some men, if their sexual needs are not met, will lash out and commit rape or other wrong actions.

The Bible agrees with Red Pill that sex is indeed a need unless a man or woman have the gift of celibacy as seen in the Scripture passage below:

“7 For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that. 8 I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I. 9 But if they cannot contain, let them marry: for it is better to marry than to burn.”

1 Corinthians 7:7-9 (KJV)

In the follow passage speaking to the needs of women, God compares a woman’s need for sex to that of her need for food and clothing:

“10 If he take him another wife; her food, her raiment, and her duty of marriage, shall he not diminish. 11 And if he do not these three unto her, then shall she go out free without money.”

Exodus 21:10-11 (KJV)

Would a woman physically die from not having food? Certainly.  Would a woman die from not having clothing and being constantly exposed to the elements? Probably.  Would a woman physically die from not having sex with her husband? Not at all.  But yet it is still shown as a need for a woman to have sex with her husband.  Why? Because while she may not physically die from not having sex with him, her intimacy with her husband would certainly die and this could in fact end the marriage as God allowed.

But then God goes even further when speaking of a man’s need for sexual relations with his wife in the following passage:

“15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well… 18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. 19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

Proverbs 5:15 & 18-19 (KJV)

God built a much greater need for sex in the masculine nature than in feminine nature.  Rather than comparing a man’s need for sex to the human need for food like the Bible does for a woman, instead the Bible compares a man’s need to for sex to the human need for water.

With a constant supply of water, a human being can go 60 days to 70 days with no food.  However, the average human being can only go four to seven days without water.  The human body is made up of 60 percent water.  Our cells, our joints and every organ in our body needs water to operate.

Just as water is a fundamental driving force in the human body, so too sex is a fundamental driving force in the masculine human nature.

Tomassi is absolutely correct that while women need sex too, a woman can never truly grasp the substantially greater physical and psychological need for sex in men.

The Bible also agrees with Red Pill that men have a polygynous sexual nature and the drive to “spread the seed” to as many different women as possible.  And this polygynous sexual desire in men is not a corruption of the masculine nature by sin as many Christian teachers and preachers have falsely claimed over the centuries.

The Bible shows that God blessed and rewarded Leah for giving her servant girl to her husband as another wife.  God allows for polygamy and sets rules for its practice in Exodus 21:10-11, Deuteronomy 21:15-17 and Deuteronomy 25:5-7.  God warns kings against multiplying wives or hording wives in Deuteronomy 17:17 but tells King David in II Samuel 12:8 that he gave him the wives of his master (King Saul) and would have given him many more wives.  In Ezekiel 23:1-5 God pictures himself as polygamist husband to two women – the northern kingdom of Israel and the southern kingdom of Judah.  And in the New Testament in Romans 10:19 God says he is taking on a new bride the form of the New Testament church to make his first wife, the nation of Israel, jealous so that she might return to him one day.

So, as we can see from an abundance of the Scriptures, polygamy is not sinful corruption of the masculine nature but it is in fact by God’s design.

For more on subject of polygamy and answers to objections some Christians may still have to it, see my series “Why Polygamy Is Not Unbiblical” .

What the Bible says About Man’s Sexual Nature that Red Pill Does Not

A fundamental flaw of Red Pill, one which we will continually remind the reader of, is that it takes an evolutionary approach to analyzing human biology and behavior. Red Pill’s natural science approach to analyzing human behavior and biology as it currently exists can reveal interesting facts about human beings.  But once they get into evolutionary science, which is a forensic science, they are just guessing in the wind.

This is where the Bible offers something Red Pill cannot.  Red Pill using scientific analysis of human biology and behavior can often (but not always) tell us the “What” of human behavior and biology but it can never provide us with the “Why”.  Only the Bible can do this.

The Bible reveals to us that the male sexual nature is about much more than reproduction.  In fact, while the Bible commands us to “Be fruitful, and multiply” it never tells us that God made sex primarily for reproduction.

The Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 11:7 of the male human being that “he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man” and then in verse 9 of that same chapter it says “Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man”.   God created man to image him, to display or live out his attributes with his life.  And this is why God made woman.   Man needed someone upon which to play out the image of God in him.  He needed someone to love, lead, provide for and protect as God exhibits these attributes.

Another attribute of God’s nature is that he longs to be one with his people.  Man’s desire for sexual union with woman helps him to live out this aspect of God’s nature.

But there is still one more aspect of God’s nature that many Christians throughout the centuries have ignored or just plain denied due to their ascetism.  And that aspect of God’s nature is that he actually seeks out and enjoys pleasure.

The 8th century theologian John of Damascus wrote “But God, Who knoweth all things before they have existence, knowing in His foreknowledge that they would fall into transgression in the future and be condemned to death, anticipated this and made “male and female,” and bade them “be fruitful and multiply.”  What he was saying is that God only created the male and female sex organs knowing that sin would enter the picture and they would need some way to reproduce.  In other words, sex in human beings, and by extension sexual pleasure, was a result of sin in human beings and never God’s perfect intention.

Such a position is of course not supported by the Scriptures.  If sex in human beings was only an allowance by God for reproduction because of sin, then God would never have commanded men to satisfy themselves sexually with their wives’ bodies in Proverbs 5:18-19 nor would he have given us the entire book of the Song of Solomon which is dedicated to sexual love in marriage.

The Bible tells us God’s desire for the beauty of his people when it states in Psalm 45:11 “So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him”.  And in Psalm 149:4 we read “For the Lord taketh pleasure in his people: he will beautify the meek with salvation”.

So, man’s sexual desire toward woman does not just display God’s desire for oneness with his people, but it also fully displays God’s desire for the beauty of his people and his desire to take pleasure in his people.

The Corruption of Man’s God Given Polygynous Sexual Nature

We have just shown from the Bible how a man’s desire to take pleasure in the beauty of and bodies of women is a reflection of God’s nature within him.  However sin corrupted the masculine nature as God originally designed it.  And one of the ways sin corrupts man’s God given polygynous sexual nature is by tempting men to become whoremongers and adulterers.

And this is why the Bible warns that God will punish men if they act on this corruption of their sexual natures when it states in Hebrews 13:4 “Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge“.

God also shows that men can allow their sexual nature to control their lives causing them to make wrong decisions.   In Proverbs 6:26 the Bible states  For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life”.  A man can literally be led to the slaughter by his sexual nature if he allows it to happen. 

Ecclesiastes 7:26 states And I find more bitter than death the woman, whose heart is snares and nets, and her hands as bands: whoso pleaseth God shall escape from her; but the sinner shall be taken by her”. And this is why men are exhorted to flee from this temptation and escape the corruption of their sexual nature which would enslave them to women.

Conclusion

The Bible would agree with Red Pill that sex is a much stronger need for men than women when it compares a man’s sexual desire to the human desire for water.  The Bible would also agree with Red Pill that man’s sexual nature is polygynous.

But as we can see based upon the teachings of the Bible, man’s imperative is much more than simply reproduction.  Instead the Bible reveals that man’s sexual desire is only a part of his larger true “imperative” which is to image God and live out or display all the attributes of God’s nature in his life.

And while God indeed created man with a polygynous sexual nature, he also intended for man to bond with each of the women he had sex with and be a husband to each of those women and a father to their children.

The next topic we will cover in this series is “Is the Red Pill Concept of the Female Imperative Biblical?