Biblical Discipline

Does 1 Corinthians 5 tell Christians They Shouldn’t Tolerate Any Abuse From Anyone?

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Some Christians claim that “The Bible tells believers to avoid abusers and to expel the wicked from among us”.  But the does the Bible actually say this?

In response to my article “Why God Wants You to STAY in an Abusive Relationship” one of my readers wrote the following:

“The Bible tells believers to avoid abusers and to expel the wicked from among us.

1 Corinthians 5:13

1 Corinthians 5:9-11

It is false teaching to tell people to take unnecessary and wrongful abuse.

It is enabling sin.”

A quick glance at 1 Corinthians chapter 5 shows us that the entire context of the chapter is speaking to church discipline, not marital or even parent-child relationships.

1 Corinthians 5:1-4 (KJV) starts off as follows:

1 It is reported commonly that there is fornication among you, and such fornication as is not so much as named among the Gentiles, that one should have his father’s wife. 2 And ye are puffed up, and have not rather mourned, that he that hath done this deed might be taken away from among you.

3 For I verily, as absent in body, but present in spirit, have judged already, as though I were present, concerning him that hath so done this deed, 4 In the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, when ye are gathered together, and my spirit, with the power of our Lord Jesus Christ, 5 To deliver such an one unto Satan for the destruction of the flesh, that the spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.”

The phrase “when ye are gathered together” is an unmistakable reference to the assembled church.  This entire chapter has to do with church discipline – not marriage.

Now can a church expel from their membership a man who has truly abused his wife? Absolutely they can. But they should be careful in defining what kinds of abuse allow for expulsion.   

For instance, if a woman came to her pastor and said “My husband calls me a bitch a lot – please expel him for verbally abusing me” – should the pastor expel her husband for that offense? The answer is no.

Instead, the Pastor should ask the wife “Have you ever called your husband a jerk?”  To which if she is being honest, she will probably answer “Yes”.  And then the Pastor should say “Then I must expel you by the same standard you want me to expel your husband”.

My point is when we understand that abuse means to mistreat someone in one way or another we need to be careful of saying the church should expel people for abusing their spouses.  Because the truth is, we all abuse our spouses even if it is calling them a name when we get angry or frustrated from time to time.

This is why the church must be clear that they will only expel men or women for SERIOUS abuse as opposed to common everyday abuses that husbands and wives may commit against one another.

Abuse that rises to the level of causing permanent, serious or life-threatening bodily injury could justify church discipline against the perpetrator.  Also abuse that breaks the marriage covenant such as a man failing to provide food and clothing or him withholding sex from his wife could justify church discipline toward such a man.  In addition, a church could expel a woman who breaks her marriage covenant by systematically refusing to have sex with her husband or because she has had sex with other men.

The Bible is crystal clear that those under the authority of masters SHOULD tolerate abuse from their masters.  And even sometimes we are called to tolerate abuse from our other authorities for the glory of the Gospel.

1 Peter 2:18-22 & 3:1-2 & 5-6 states the following:

“18 Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the froward. 

19 For this is thankworthy, if a man for conscience toward God endure grief, suffering wrongfully.

20 For what glory is it, if, when ye be buffeted for your faults, ye shall take it patiently? but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God.

21 For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:

22 Who did no sin, neither was guile found in his mouth: 23 Who, when he was reviled, reviled not again; when he suffered, he threatened not; but committed himself to him that judgeth righteously…

1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear…

5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: 6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

The Scriptures are clear that those who are under masters are called by God to tolerate abuse – cruelty and unjust treatment at the hands of those masters.  And the Bible is clear that women are to regard their husbands as their masters.  Therefore, women MUST tolerate abuse from their husbands and in doing so they emulate Christ.

Is it right for men to abuse their wives in big ways or even in small ways? Of course not!

1 Peter 3:7 (KJV) says the following:

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

God does not want men to mistreat their wives in any way. But in the beginning of this same chapter God acknowledges the reality that men, like women are sinners. And that men will mistreat (aka abuse) their wives, sometimes in small ways and sometimes in serious ways.

Must women tolerate all forms of abuse from their husbands? No.  Because the Bible also says in Exodus 21:26-27 that those under masters may be freed from their masters if their masters cause them serious and permanent bodily harm.

But there is no Biblical allowance for a woman (or man) to leave their spouse because of verbal or emotional abuse or even non-serious physical abuse such as slapping or leaving bruises.  

How Should Wives Respond to Their Husband’s Abuse?

The answer to how wives should respond to their abusive husbands is found in a passage we already cited above from 1 Peter 3:1-2:

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;  While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

First, it must be pointed out that in the old English of the KJV “conversation” meant “behavior”. God calls women to attempt to win their abusive husbands back to God, not with their words, but with their behavior toward their husbands. Wives are called to win their husbands by continuing to submit to and revere (fear) their husbands despite their sinful behavior.

How Should Men Respond to Their Wife’s Abuse?

The Bible is not a gender neutral book no matter how hard some Christians try to make it today. God calls for different duties and different responses from people depending upon their gender.

Just as parents are responsible to discipline their children for their wrong behavior, so too husbands are called to discipline their wives for their sinful behavior – whether that behavior is directed at them personally as the husband or toward others.

Unlike wives who are called to win their husbands without a word, husbands are called to wash their wives with the Word of God in Ephesians 5:25-27 (KJV):

“25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

The husband’s call to love his wife as Christ loves his church is not limited to him washing her with the Word, but also extends to him rebuking and disciplining his wife as Christ does his churches in Revelation 3:19 (KJV):

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

To learn more about how the Bible says we should handle abuse and also the historical and biblically based practice of wife discipline see my podcasts below.

The Biblical Case For Domestic Discipline
A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline
Why God Wants You To Stay In An Abusive Marriage

Should I Start Spanking My 40 Year Old Wife?

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“Should I start spanking my 40-year-old wife”? This is a question that I was recently asked by a Baptist preacher from Oregon named Robert.

Critics of the historic and Christian practice of wife-spanking often ask “Where does the Bible specifically command men to spank their wives?”. And sometimes I answer their question with another question – “‘Where does the Bible specifically command men not to mistreat their wives?”

Immediately they will respond with “Ephesians 5:25 says husbands should love their wives as Christ loves his church – and Christ would not mistreat his church.” To which I say Amen!

So we all agree as Christians that the standard for a husband’s treatment of his wife is how Christ treats his church right? 

In Revelation 3:19, Christ after rebuking his churches said the following to them:

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

Christ rebukes and chastens (disciplines) his wife, the church. And since husbands are called to emulate all the facets of Christ’s love for his church, this would require that husbands are also to discipline their wives out of love for their wives.

In most cases throughout the Bible chastening refers to physical, corporal punishment. And contrary to our modern thinking, physical discipline was not reserved only for children in the Bible. It was also used with adults as well. In other words, a man is not treating his wife as a child when he spanks her – but he is in fact treating her as his wife.

And speaking of children and discipline, one of the most glaring inconsistencies among conservative Christian critics of wife-spanking is their full acceptance of fathers spanking their daughters as children but their rejection of husbands spanking their wives as adults. How it is ok to spank a little girl, but not a grown woman? Is a grown woman weaker or stronger than a little girl? Does a woman’s bottom grow weaker and more frail when she becomes an adult?

The truth is that those oppose the spanking of wives cannot base their opposition on the fact that this may hurt the wife because to do so would undermine the corporal discipline of children which most conservative Christians support. The entire basis of their opposition to wife spanking is that it is somehow dishonorable to a wife for her husband to spank her. 

In other words, it hurt’s a woman’s pride for a her husband to spank her.

But where do the Scriptures exempt women from the corporal discipline we see that men and children receive in the Bible? Where does the Bible say corporal discipline dishonors a woman? The answer is that we see no such exemption for women in the Bible.

Some critics of wife-spanking complain that we must have a specific instance of a woman being physically disciplined by her husband in the Bible to justify a husband spanking his wife. But we do not need specific examples of behaviors to justify behaviors. As long as a behavior does not violate any biblical principle or command then it is acceptable before God.

The burden of proof is on those who oppose wife-spanking to prove that the Bible forbids it, not those who choose to implement it based upon Biblical principles.

One final thought on the discipline of wives before we move on to Robert’s story and his questions. The fact that chastening is most often physical in the Bible does not require that men MUST physically discipline their wives. But it certainly provides a good example of how discipline can be implemented. And the truth is, despite humanist studies to the contrary, physical discipline is far more effective and leads to faster changes in behavior for both adults and children.

And now let’s move on to Robert’s story and his questions.

Robert’s Story

“I discovered your blog in August, and in the months following have become quite a fan. I am 45 years old, married to my 40-year-old wife who I’ll refer to as “M” in this email, with six children, all of whom we homeschool. I am a pastor at an Independent Fundamental Baptist church in Oregon.

I love M very deeply and believe that she is a very godly wife and mother. She is extremely devoted to serving God and to raising and educating our children in His word. She is generally respectful of my authority and accepting of her role. M has more contempt for the feminist movement than any other modern woman I have ever known, which I greatly admire. However, as with anyone there is always room for improvement, and on occasion we do run into conflicts.

My wife and I regularly use spanking as punishment for our children, usually with a paddle. I used to find the idea of a husband spanking his wife as a consequence horrifying, but over the last couple of years my views have shifted more in line with yours, that it is his right and his duty. I have not told my wife about my change in views or my following of your blog, or made any attempt to physically discipline her. On the occasions in which we have run into conflict or she has sinned, I have felt a very serious temptation to just grab her up and spank her, which would be very easy as she is a lot smaller than I am.

I’m of the strong belief that exercising this authority (physically disciplining M) would be a positive for our family and marriage, and is a responsibility of mine; but have felt awkward/nervous about bringing it up with her. I’m really not sure how she’d react. And as with any woman, I worry there’s a chance suggesting this might REALLY make her mad and cause possibly ongoing trouble for our relationship.

I fear that even if she was okay with the idea of getting spankings, that it would be hard to keep secret from our kids and her family. My in-laws (especially my mother-in-law) are already hostile to my religious faith and distrusting of me, and I know that if they found out something like this was going on in our marriage, they would lose their minds. Thankfully they live a ways away from here, but our kids take an annual trip to stay at their grandma’s each year and I fear that if any of my kids found out, one way or another it wouldn’t stay a secret to her family.

Do you have any advice on how I should approach this topic with M in a manner that is sensitive and minimizes the risk of freaking her out or offending her? And any advice on how to approach the topic with our children (or anyone else who finds out by accident) if it does ever get to that point?”

My Response to Robert

In my two podcasts on BGRLearning.com – “A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline” and “Husbands Questions About CDD Answered” I talk about the fact that women past their mid-20s often will not accept physical discipline (aka wife-spanking).  The reason is that all human beings, both men and women, are far more moldable in their behavior and thinking in their late-teens and early 20s because the human brain does not finish developing until about 25.

And this is exactly why secularists (and sadly even many professing Christians) hate the idea of children being homeschooled and why they hate young marriage for women in their late teens.  Because in these separated Christian homes – young women can be molded to fully accept male domination in their lives first via their fathers and later by their husbands.  And humanists detest any person being conditioned to be controlled by others – this is one of the greatest sins in humanism.

I say all that to say that it will be difficult, by the simple fact of your wife’s age, for you to implement wife-spanking with her. 

Also, it is not just age that is huge factor in a woman being receptive to wife spanking, but it is also their temperament and how they were raised.  If she was raised with her father spanking her well into her teens then you might have a greater chance of success than if her father never spanked her or if he stopped spanking her before her teen years.

Another question you have to ask yourself is “Has my wife ever threatened to call the cops if I laid a hand on her?” or has she given you any indication that she buys into the modern narrative that a woman can never be forced to do anything against her will by her husband?

If after considering all these factors I have raised, you still believe your wife would be a good candidate to try wife-spanking with – then I would suggest you listen to my podcasts below where I give detailed instructions as to how you can begin to implement wife-spanking in your marriage.  It is not something you just do; you must first lay a new spiritual foundation in your wife’s mind that will help to make her more receptive to CDD.

My podcasts on CDD will not only answer the most common questions about how to get started with CDD, but they also will raise and answer many questions you would not think of until after you start implementing domestic discipline.

A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline
Husbands Questions About CDD Answered
The Biblical Case For Domestic Discipline

How To Deal With An Argumentative Wife

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Every time a woman argues with her husband she sins against God.  Period. 

1 Peter 3:1-2 (NASB) shows us that it is sinful for a woman to argue with her husband:

“In the same way, you wives, be subject to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won over without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your pure and respectful behavior.”

But women, like men, are sinful creatures. The question is, how should a husband handle it when his wife engages in the sin of arguing with him?

Biblical Ways To Deal With Your Wife’s Argumentativeness

In the Bible, God demonstrated how he dealt with his rebellious wife Israel and how Christ dealt with sin in his churches. He also gives advice to men in the book of Proverbs for how to deal with a contentious wife.

In Proverbs 21:9 (KJV) the Bible says “It is better to dwell in a corner of the housetop, than with a brawling woman in a wide house”. 

Sometimes a husband may choose to take a drive or go to his mancave when his wife is being contentious with him.

In Isaiah 59:2 (KJV) God said to his wife, Israel, “But your iniquities have separated between you and your God, and your sins have hid his face from you, that he will not hear”. 

Sometimes a husband may choose to emulate God’s treatment of his rebellious wife Israel and give his wife the silent treatment when she has been argumentative with him.

In Revelation 3:19 (KJV), Christ said to his churches after rebuking them “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”. 

Sometimes rather than walking away from his argumentative wife, a man may choose too emulate Christ’s rebuke and chastisement of his churches and choose to rebuke and chastise his wife.

God says in Ephesians 5:28-29 (KJV) that men must provide for the needs of their wives.

But that doesn’t mean she is entitled to eat at her favorite restaurants or buy the latest fashions in clothing or an have open credit line.  These things can be removed as an act of chastisement.

How can a husband know which action to take in the face of his wife’s argumentativeness?

The answer comes down to how she receives discipline from her husband. Does she accept his right to rebuke and chastise her? Or does she resist and deny his rights as husband?

If a wife is submissive to her husband’s rebuke and chastisement, whether it be CDD or other non-physical means of discipline, then he should use those means as he sees fit.

However, if a man has a wife who completely rejects his right to rebuke and chastise her and if she will not cease her contentions with him, then the best course of action is for him to follow the advice of Proverbs 21:9 and remove himself from her presence.  

To find out more about non-physical and physical discipline from a Biblical perspective listen to my podcast series below on these subjects.

How to Discipline Your Wife As Christ Does His Church
The Biblical Case For Domestic Discipline
A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline

10 Things Every Christian Husband Must Unlearn

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Below are 10 things every Christian husband must “unlearn” that men are taught by our post-feminist culture in order to unleash and fully realize the masculine nature that God designed him with:

  1. You must unlearn thinking that it is impossible for a man to support his family on his own.
  2. You must unlearn thinking that is wrong for a man to exercise complete control over the finances in his home.
  3. You must unlearn thinking that that it is wrong for you to try to control your wife.
  4. You must unlearn thinking that that it is wrong for you to rebuke and discipline your wife.
  5. You must unlearn thinking that you must get permission from your wife for anything.
  6. You must unlearn thinking that is wrong for you to help your wife formulate her worldview, including her view of how the roles of husband and wife play out in marriage.
  7. You must unlearn thinking that it is selfish to want to mold your wife to your preferences, including but not limited to – having her cook the food you like, wearing the clothes you like and keeping her hair the way you like it.
  8. You must unlearn thinking that it is selfish to want to spend time away from your wife whether just in solitude by yourself or with other men.
  9. You must unlearn thinking that it is selfish for you to spend time and money on hobbies you enjoy as a man.
  10. You must unlearn thinking that it is selfish to want sex from your wife whenever and however you so desire it, even when she is not in the mood.

To learn more about how to unleash and fully realize your God given nature as a man go to my podcast site BGRLearning.com. There you can listen podcasts that will teach you straight out of the Bible what it means to be man and you can let God’s Word wash away your post-feminist cultural conditioning.

Chastisement is to be Welcomed by Wives and Practiced By Husbands

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The concept of wife spanking or really a man disciplining his wife even using non-physical means is abhorrent to our modern culture. The reason for this is because we in our modern culture have been conditioned to believe that discipline is only for children and that a man spanking his wife is him treating her like a child.

The truth however, both from a Biblical as well as a historic perspective is very different. The Bible teaches us that chastisement both in the form of corporal punishment as well as taking away various things is ordained by God for both civil government and especially the sphere of the home with the husband and father as its patriarch.  And for thousands of years the practice of corporal discipline by husbands and fathers within the home and the marriage was an accepted behavior.

It was not until the rise of feminism in mid-19th century that the historic practice of what American courts called “domestic discipline” came into question. 

I first started writing on the need for husbands to return to the Biblical and historic practice of disciplining their wives back in 2015 with my article entitled “7 Ways to Discipline Your Wife”.  And in recent years I made a podcast series on my podcast site BGRLearning.com where expound more on that article.

In the last couple years, I have been expanding my writings on the Biblical and historic practice of wife spanking.  Some of those articles include “The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline”, “A 19th Century Suffragette View of Domestic Discipline”, “19th Century Judicial Precedents Regarding Domestic Discipline” and early articles like “Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?”

In addition, I wrote “A Christian Husband’s Guide to Grooming His Young Wife” for newlywed husbands which includes discipline as part of a larger Biblically based grooming process that Christian husbands should practice with their wives.

As you can imagine, I get a lot of angry emails and comments related to my writings on domestic discipline.  I also get the occasional catfishing emails where people send me outlandish discipline tactics which they are using to get my take and those emails go straight to my trash bin.  But I also get emails which I believe to be genuine like one I received recently.  And it always encourages me to see how God awakens men to the truth of his Word regarding discipline in general and the need for chastisement of wives in particular. 

Recently I received such an email from a man calling himself Edward.  Below his email that I hope you will also find encouraging.

Edward’s Email to BGR

“Dear Sir,

I would like to share with you what the Lord showed me in the last couple of months, regarding disciplining one’s wife. You might already know all of this, but I thought you might find it interesting.

Firstly, I came to learn that discipline is a huge thing for the whole body of Christ – it’s so big that the very word the Lord chose for his followers (disciples) is even based on discipline! In fact, as one meditates on it, one find that just about the whole Bible deals with a lack of discipline, the consequences thereof and the Lord’s dealings with it – from the garden of Eden through to Revelations.

Here are some things I learned, before I share some additional scriptures.

1. Your point is correct: God rebukes and chastises those He loves. Man is obliged to do the same.

2. There is a great reward in accepting discipline. We should embrace it and actually ask for it.

3. It’s not really optional. As His children, He disciplines us because of His great love for us. In this world, we WILL be disciplined – either by His loving hand, or by consequencial circumstances. Of course, there is also the terrible alternative to be “handed over to satan” as Paul writes to the Corinthians.

The above is just a summary of my own observations. Following are some additional scriptures that you and others might find interesting – starting with general guidance and ending with an absolute clincher! I must just add that the Lord showed me these scriptures when I sought Him for council in this matter.

1. He also spoke this parable: “A certain man had a fig tree planted in his vineyard, and he came seeking fruit on it and found none. Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it. And if it bears fruit, well. But if not, after that you can cut it down.’ ”

Luke 13:6-9

This was a general scripture the Lord gave me that emphasised our responsibility as men to maintain discipline.

2. “…I am consumed by the blow of Your hand. When with rebukes You correct man for iniquity, You make his beauty melt away like a moth…

Psalms 39:10-11

3. And that servant who knew his master’s will, and did not prepare himself or do according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes. But he who did not know, yet committed things deserving of stripes, shall be beaten with few.  Luke 12:47-48

I laughed when the Lord showed me this scripture in relation to a good spanking. He even tells us when a long, hard spanking is required: When the offence was committed “knowingly”…

4. This was a major eye-opener for me! The whole of Ezekiel 23 is the story of the rebellious sins and judgements of the two sisters Oholah and Oholibah. The chapter draws to a conclusion with this curious verse: “Thus I will cause lewdness to cease from the land, that all women may be taught not to practice your lewdness.” Ezekiel 23:48

Here is the (summarized) meaning and an explanation of the original Hebrew word for “taught” in this verse. It’s exactly the same word that is used for chastisement.

H3256

Original: יסר

Transliteration: yâsar

Phonetic: yaw-sar’

a) to chasten, discipline, instruct, admonish

b) to let oneself be chastened or corrected or admonished

c) to discipline, correct, to chasten, chastise

Strong’s Definition: A primitive root; to chastise, literally (with blows) or figuratively (with words); hence to instruct: – bind, chasten, chastise, correct, instruct, punish, reform, reprove, sore, teach.

The chapter refers to Samaria and Jerusalem as the two sisters, so the common teaching is that the reference to “all women” in the concluding verses should also be interpreted figuratively (as all tribes/nations). In my opinion, the Lord would not have stated it as such if it was not commonplace already to apply chastisement in order to teach women this/a lesson.

Hope you found this as interesting as I did.

Thank you for your obedience to the Lord in maintaining your site/blog. A great reward awaits you.”

How to Discipline Your Wife As Christ Does His Church
A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline

Listener Questions About Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline Answered

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“Should a man attempt CDD with a woman that has serious mental illness?”, “Is it ok to begin implementing CDD on my honeymoon or should I wait?” and “Is it ok to use bondage as part of CDD?” These were some of several great follow up questions that husbands emailed me after listening to my new podcast “A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline”.

In this follow-up podcast I answer these listener questions and several others that were sent to me. You definitely need to listen to the first 3-part guide on CDD before you listen to this podcast as this is really an add on to that.

Click here to go to BGRLearning.com to subscribe and listen today!

A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline

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Previously I have shown Domestic Discipline to be both a Biblical concept as well as a historical practice amongst husbands for thousands of years on my Instagram page @biblicalsexandiscipline and on my blog Biblicalgenderroles.com as well as podcasts series on BGRLearning.com.

This new 3-part podcast series is not a like any of my previous writings on the subject of Domestic Discipline.  It is not a defense of Domestic Discipline.  I have already done that in my previous posts like “The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline” .  This podcast series is about the practical application of Domestic Discipline.  It is based on my real-world experiences doing personalized mentoring programs with more than 20 husbands over the past 4 years. Most of these husbands never believed their wives would ever accept CDD, but today the majority of their wives do.

How does a Christian man go about introducing Domestic Discipline into his marriage and what techniques actually work?  What kinds of reactions can he expect from his wife as he introduces this into his marriage and how should he respond to his wife’s reactions?  All of these questions and more are answered in this podcast series.

Not only do their wives accept the particular program of domestic discipline that I teach – but through this particular domestic discipline program these husbands have achieved 100 percent submission from their wives.  In other words, they have achieved complete dominion over their wives as God commanded of Adam and all husbands in Genesis 3:16.

And let me be clear what I mean by “100 percent” submission.  I don’t mean their wives are perfect and sinless.  What 100% submission means is these wives have eliminated the phrase “I am not comfortable with that” from their speech to their husbands.  And if they fail to submit or they fail in other duties as wives – they willingly accept Domestic Discipline.

Click on the image at the top or you can click here to go BGRLearning.com to subscribe and listen to this series as well as hundreds of other biblical gender roles related podcasts.

19th Century Judicial Precedents Regarding Domestic Discipline

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In this third article in our series on domestic discipline, we will be looking at a few 19th century judicial decisions on the lawfulness of husbands practicing domestic discipline toward their wives.  We will start with two cases which upheld the right of a husband to practice corporal chastisement on his wife and then move to a decision which overturned these precedents.  

1834 – Calvin Bradley vs The State of Mississippi

In this case of a husband being charged with battery against his wife the Supreme Court of Mississippi referenced the ancient common law to affirm the right of “domestic discipline” by husbands:

“It is true, according to the old law, the husband might give his wife moderate correction, because he is answerable for her misbehaviour; hence it was thought reasonable, to intrust him, with a power, necessary to restrain the indiscretions of one, for whose conduct he was to be made responsible

…

I believe it was a case before Mr. Justice Raymond, when the same doctrine was recognised, with proper limitations and restrictions, well suited to the condition and feelings of those, who might think proper to use a whip or rattan, no bigger than my thumb, in order to inforce the salutary restraints of domestic discipline.

…

Family broils and dissentions cannot be investigated before the tribunals of the country… let the husband be permitted to exercise the right of moderate chastisement… without being subjected to vexatious prosecutions, resulting in the mutual discredit and shame of all parties concerned. Judgment affirmed.”

In the case of Calvin Bradley vs The State, the court affirmed what it called “the ancient common law” right of a husband to use “moderate chastisement” with his wife referring to this practice as “domestic discipline”.    It also respected the limits of civil government interfering in the affairs of the family and stated husbands should not be subjected to prosecutions for exercising their right to domestic discipline as long as they did so in moderation.

1864 – State Of North Carolina vs Jesse Black

In this case the North Carolina Supreme Court ruled as follows:

“A husband is responsible for the acts of his wife, and he is required to govern his household, and for that purpose the law permits him to use towards his wife such a degree of force as is necessary to control an unruly temper and make her behave herself; and unless some permanent injury be inflicted, or there be an excess of violence, or such a degree of cruelty as shows that it is inflicted to gratify his own bad passions, the law will not invade the domestic forum or go behind the curtain.”

As in previous cases, the court affirmed that the husband’s right to chastise his wife flows from his responsibility to govern all in his household and his wife is part of his household.   The court affirmed that it is improper for the civil government to “invade the domestic forum”. 

In this decision, the court did recognize limits on the husband’s power to use corporal punishment to chastise his wife.  They said that a husband’s chastisement of his wife should not cause any “permanent injury” or be excessively violent and that he should not discipline his wife for his own sadistic pleasure.  The court’s view in this case aligns with the Scriptural command to husbands in Ephesians 5:28-29 that they are to care for and protect their wife’s bodies as they would their own.  

1871 – The Year American Courts Invaded the Domestic Forum

It was in 1871, that a state court did what others had warned against decades earlier.  The court invaded the domestic forum, the sphere of authority given to men as the heads of their households.  It not only overturned decades of American court precedent, but invalidated ancient common law rights of husbands upon which those precedents were built.

In 1871 the case of Fulgham V. State, the Alabama Supreme court ruled as follows:

“Since then, however, learning, with its humanizing influences, has made great progress, and morals and religion have made some progress with it. Therefore, a rod which may be drawn through the wedding ring is not now deemed necessary to teach the wife her duty and subjection to the husband. The husband is therefore not justified or allowed by law to use such a weapon, or any other, for her moderate correction. The wife is not to be considered as the husband’s slave. And the privilege, ancient though it be, to beat her with a stick, to pull her hair, choke her, spit in her face or kick her about the floor, or to inflict upon her like indignities, is not now acknowledged by our law”

Two key words stand out in the first sentence and those words are “humanizing” and “progress”. 

What does it mean to “humanize” someone? And to what “progress” were they referring? To understand these concepts, we have to compare and contrast the social classes of the post enlightenment age with those that came before it. 

When God created mankind, he ordained three core social classes and those were men, women and children.  After sin entered the world, he allowed for a fourth social class of slaves (both male and female) because of poverty and war. 

Humanists rejected these four social class structures and instead sought to bring about a new model of society that had only two social classes which we know today as “adults” and “children”.  The abolitionist humanists first targeted the slave class for elimination.  Then some female abolitionists broke off and organized the first womens rights conference in 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York.

When they talked about “humanizing” people, they were talking about making women and slaves equal with free men.  In other words, they were seeking to eliminate the social classes of men, women and slaves and replace those classes with one new social class, that of a “human” or “adult” while leaving the child class intact.

This is why today if any adult is seen has having less rights than another adult, it is said that the person with less rights is being “dehumanized”. 

The ultimate goal of humanists of the late 19th century was to build an “internationalist” or what we call today “globalist” society.  No men, no women, no slaves, no rich, no poor, no Christians, no Muslims, no Jews, no Americans, no Mexicans, no British.

Just humans.    

And it is this march toward a one world society with no nations, no religions, no genders, no rich and no poor that humanists refer to as “progress”.  And this is why leftists today refer to themselves as “progressives”.   

Humanists knew that their master plan would take decades and perhaps more than a century to bring about.   And they knew they had to do it in small incremental pieces.  This is why if you notice in this ruling, the court still acknowledged that a wife had a duty to be in subjection to her husband. It would have been too much for American society to accept all at once that a husband could not use corporal punishment on his wife and that a wife did not have a duty to obey her husband.

The court was simply taking away a primary means of him enforcing that subjection, his ability to use corporal chastisement on his wife.  And by reducing the ability of husbands to enforce their rule over their wives, women were given more power.

In other words, taking away a husband’s right to use corporal discipline upon his wife was one of the first steps in dismantling patriarchy. 

The court falsely equated a man using moderate correction with a rod to him having a right “to pull her hair, choke her, spit in her face or kick her about the floor”.   This is what leftists do, they use extremes and abuses of authority, or this case chastisement, to get rid of all chastisement and in essence to get rid of an authority’s ability to chastise.

While Tennessee was the first state to outlaw “wife beating” in 1850, the vast majority of states did not do so until after this ruling in the 1870s.

But even though the courts and state legislatures had invaded the domestic forum by the late 19th century, local law enforcement officials rarely enforced these laws.  In other words, most local police did not feel right about invading the domestic forum even though state laws and court decisions would allow it. 

It would not be until more than a century after the first laws denying husbands’ rights to use corporal punishment on their wives, that a new “Domestic Violence” movement would arise in the early 1970s.  It was then that new domestic violence laws were passed and edicts came down from state and local governments forcing police to invade the domestic forum.

Conclusion

We have shown here that early 19th century jurisprudence respected ancient common laws giving husbands the right to use corporal punishment as part of domestic discipline with their wives. 

The courts showed great deference to the domestic forum, recognizing it was not right for civil authorities to intervene in domestic affairs, except under the gravest of circumstances, as husbands were to have supremacy in the affairs of their homes.

Later courts, following humanist philosophies, broke this sacred rule and launched a full-scale government invasion of the domestic forum with the attack on corporal punishment of wives being only one of the first battles in this invasion.

A 19th Century Suffragette View of Domestic Discipline

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In this second article in our series on domestic discipline, we will be looking at the 19th century suffragette (feminist) view of domestic discipline.  To do this we will look at two primary sources.  The first is the Declaration of Sentiments which was issued from the first woman’s rights conference in 1848 in Seneca Falls, New York. 

The second source we will be looking at is a book entitled “History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861”, written by Elizabeth Cady Stanton, ‎Susan Brownell Anthony and ‎Matilda Joslyn Gage in 1881.  This book is also a valuable resource in understanding the historical view of domestic discipline.   Less than 20 years before this book was published, state courts in America were still upholding a man’s right to use corporal punishment with his wife.  It was only in the 1870s that courts began striking down this common law right and later states would begin enacting laws against it.

The Declaration of Sentiments

The Declaration of Independence was America declaring its independence from England and the Declaration of Sentiments was women declaring their independence from men.    Below is a portion of the Declaration of Sentiments issued from the first woman’s rights conference in 1848:

“The history of mankind is a history of repeated injuries and usurpations on the part of man toward woman, having in direct object the establishment of an absolute tyranny over her. To prove this, let facts be submitted to a candid world.

…

He has made her, morally, an irresponsible being, as she can commit many crimes, with impunity, provided they be done in the presence of her husband. In the covenant of marriage, she is compelled to promise obedience to her husband, he becoming, to all intents and purposes, her master – the law giving him power to deprive her of her liberty, and to administer chastisement.”

As Bible believing Christians, we can and should recognize the 1848 Declaration of Sentiments for what it was and still is today.  A declaration of war on God’s institution of patriarchy.   And the sad truth is, that more than 170 years later that war has been mostly won by feminists. Those who still hold to God’s design of patriarchy have been forced into hiding, with their only option to fight a spiritual guerrilla warfare against those who seek to eradicate the last pockets of resistance to the reigning humanist regimes.

“In the covenant of marriage, she is compelled to promise obedience to her husband”

The common laws of the land in this case were strongly aligned with the Word of God as seen in Titus 2:4-5:

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, OBEDIENT to their own HUSBANDS, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

In fact, we can rightly say that the Declaration of Sentiments complaint against women being compelled by common law to be obedient to their husbands was blasphemy against the Word of God.

The Husband is “to all intents and purposes, her master”

Again, the Scriptures are crystal clear on this point calling women to regard their husband’s as their earthly lords (their masters) in 1 Peter 3:5-6:

“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.”

The Greek word used in 1 Peter 3:6 is “kurios” which means master.  It is used in reference to kings, governors, slave masters, husbands and to God himself in the Bible.  All of these masters were authorities instituted by God over different spheres, but God is the LORD and master of all.  The Hebrew equivalent of the Greek kurios is “baal” which means “owner, lord, master”. 

In Deuteronomy 22:22 we see the following example showing the husband’s ownership over his wife:

“If a man be found lying with a woman married [‘baal’ used as verb] to an husband [‘baal’ used as noun] , then they shall both of them die, both the man that lay with the woman, and the woman: so shalt thou put away evil from Israel.”

The passage above demonstrates that under God’s law a married woman is an owned woman, and her owner is her husband.

The Husbands power “to administer chastisement”

The power to chastise is a critical element of authority. If a person can tell others what to do, but they have no means of enforcing what they have commanded then they really are not an authority.  And this is why the early woman’s rights movement targeted the common law recognition of the husband’s right to chastise his wife.  If they could remove his power to chastise her, they knew they were effectively removing his authority over her.

History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861

The women who wrote “History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861” lived in the era when wife spanking was still widely practiced and culturally accepted so their perspective is valuable in the historical sense, even with their moral position on the rights of women and husbands chastising their wives being completely unbiblical and wrong.

In pages 88-89 the History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861 states:

“In those early days a husband’s supremacy was often enforced in the rural districts by corporeal chastisement, and it was considered by most people as quite right and proper – as much so as the correction of refractory children in like manner…The laws made it his privilege – and the Bible, as interpreted, made it is his duty.”

If you go to the average Christian today in the average Christian church, even most conservative evangelical churches, and you started talking about domestic discipline they would have no clue what you are talking about.  I know if you would have mentioned it to me 7 or 8 years ago, I would have been one of those people with a blank look. And if you mentioned “wife spanking” they would look at you like you are crazy.   I know I would have. 

But I am happy to have been challenged on this subject.  Because it caused me to really have to research this out.  I already showed in my first article in this series on domestic discipline, “The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline”, that the Bible fully supports two important concepts. 

First it supports the concept of corporal punishment for both children and adults.  Secondly, it supports husband’s chastening their wives as we see God chastening his wife Israel in the Old Testament and Christ chastening his wife, the church, in the New Testament.

But then we come to the historical side of this.  Before the 20th century, most Christians believed according the Bible that husbands had a right and duty to chasten their wives using corporal punishment.  The common laws of the land supported this right. And except for the left-wing feminists of the 19th century, Christian women fully accepted this too.

Chastisement Was Seen as Good for A Wife’s Moral Development

On page 599 the History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861 states:

“By the common law of England, the spirit of which has been but too faithfully incorporated into our statute law, a husband has a right to whip his wife with a rod not larger than his thumb, to shut her up in a room, and administer whatever moderate chastisement he may deem necessary to insure obedience to his wishes, and for her healthful moral development! He can forbid all persons harboring or trusting her on his account.  He can deprive her of all social intercourse with her nearest and dearest friends.  If by great economy she accumulates a small sum, which for future need she deposit, little by little, in a savings bank, the husband has a right to draw it out, at his option, to use it as he may see fit.”

A husband chastising his wife was seen as a healthy and moral thing for a marriage.  But his powers of chastisement were not limited just to corporal punishment.  But he could also literally ground his wife as a parent grounds their child and send her to her room.  This was the normal accepted practice under common law.

Domestic Discipline Outlawed in the Late 19th Century

On page 792 the History of Woman Suffrage: 1848-1861 states:

“Wife-beating is still so common, even in America, that a number of States have of late introduced bills especially directed to the punishment of the wife-beater. Great surprise is frequently shown by these men when arrested. “Is she not my wife” is cried in tones proving the brutal husband had been trained to consider this relationship a sufficient justification for any abuse.”

“Chastisement” did not have enough sting to it.  In fact, even in the late 19th century, the word “chastisement” in America was seen as a positive word.  So then feminists went from speaking about husbands chastising their wives to calling men “wife-beaters”.  That had a much better ring to it.  And they declared that a husband chastising his wife in any form was “abuse”.   

Now to be sure, there were some men who took their right to chastise their wives too far causing serious or permanent injuries to their wives.  And this of course was the case throughout the history of mankind and was by no means unique to America.   But the exact same thing could also be said for parents, whether they were fathers or mothers who chastised their children, that some abused their God given authority to administer corporal chastisement.

But that fact that some husbands abused their power to exercise corporal chastisement did not give civil governments the right to remove this God given power from husbands.   What they should have done was deal with those extreme cases on a case by case basis.

Conclusion

In this second article we have shown that the early feminists declared war on Biblical patriarchy from the very beginning of their movement in 1848.   They utterly rejected God’s design of male headship over women. 

These early feminists or “suffragettes”, knew they had to play on the emotions of the American people to win their cause.  And they did exactly that.  They found the most extreme and outlandish cases of abuse they could find to bring before courts and state legislators to prove that all men were potential abusers or “wife-beaters” and the only way to protect women from the abuses of men was to completely strip men of their power of corporal chastisement over their wives.

But we also learned something else in this article.  Something that husbands and wives of today needed to see.  This idea of a husband using corporal punishment to chastise his wife is not some recently invented behavior by some far-right Christians.  It is not just some kinky BDSM thing.  But rather, before the late 19th century it was the protected law of the land and Christians believed husbands had a Biblical right and duty to exercise corporal chastisement on their wives for the good of their wife’s moral development and the health of their marriages.

The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline

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What is the Biblical view of domestic discipline (aka wife-spanking)? What were cultural views of wife spanking in America before the modern era? These are two different questions that we will be answering in this new series.

There are many behaviors and teachings that were the norm from ancient civilizations to just before the modern age that we as Bible believing Christians would disagree with. I have written on my own disagreements with some of the teachings and practices of the early church fathers, the reformers and even traditions of my own church upbringing in Independent Fundamental Baptist churches.

In other words, I would be the first to say just because something was taught or practiced in past eras does not make it moral or right. On the other hand, just because our modern culture thinks something is moral or immoral does not make it so. The question then becomes how can we determine the morality of a given belief or practice?

Jesus Christ answered this question of how we can determine the morality of a belief or practice when he said in Matthew 4:4 “…Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God“.

And the Apostle Paul said in 1 Thessalonians 2:13 “For this cause also thank we God without ceasing, because, when ye received the word of God which ye heard of us, ye received it not as the word of men, but as it is in truth, the word of God, which effectually worketh also in you that believe”.

The Word that God gave to the Prophets before Christ, the Word that Christ himself spoke and the Word of God given to the Apostles after Christ collectively form the Scriptures. In 2 Timothy 3:16 we read that “All scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness”.

The Scriptures then are what we are to build our beliefs and practices upon. However, does that mean history has no value? Of course not. We can learn from past civilizations and compare their behavior to moral standards found in the Word of God. We can then see how some past cultural practices which align with the teachings of the Bible helped to keep those cultures strong. And we can also see how past cultural practices which violated Biblical principles or commands ultimately led to the weakening and downfall of those earlier civilizations.

In this first article we will demonstrate how the practice of domestic discipline aligns perfectly with Biblical principles and commands regarding marriage. And then after that we will spend several articles looking at cultural views of domestic discipline in America before the modern age.

The Biblical Case for Domestic Discipline

Throughout the Bible, God pictures his relationship with us in one of two ways.  As individuals God pictures his relationship to us as father to his children.  But he pictures his relationship to his people as a group as that of a husband and wife. 

In Isaiah 54:5 God said to Israel “For thy Maker is thine HUSBAND; the Lord of hosts is his name; and thy Redeemer the Holy One of Israel; The God of the whole earth shall he be called”.  And he consistently referred to the nation of Israel as his wife.  When Israel was unfaithful to him, God stated in Jeremiah 3:20 “Surely as a WIFE treacherously departeth from her HUSBAND, so have ye dealt treacherously with me, O house of Israel, saith the Lord”.

In Deuteronomy 8:3-5 God speaks of his humbling and chastening of his wife, the nation of Israel:

“And he humbled thee, and suffered thee to hunger, and fed thee with manna, which thou knewest not, neither did thy fathers know; that he might make thee know that man doth not live by bread only, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of the Lord doth man live.  Thy raiment waxed not old upon thee, neither did thy foot swell, these forty years. Thou shalt also consider in thine heart, that, as a man chasteneth his son, so the Lord thy God CHASTENETH thee.”

So, God shows us that a husband chastens his wife as he would his child.  So how does God say a child is to be chastened in the following passages:

“Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.”

Proverbs 23:13 (KJV)

“Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying.”

Proverbs 19:18 (KJV)

And now let’s move from the Old Testament to New Testament.

In the Gospel of John we read the following account of Jesus Christ:

“13 And the Jews’ passover was at hand, and Jesus went up to Jerusalem. 14 And found in the temple those that sold oxen and sheep and doves, and the changers of money sitting: 15 And when he had made a scourge of small cords, he drove them all out of the temple, and the sheep, and the oxen; and poured out the changers’ money, and overthrew the tables”

John 2:13-15 (KJV)

Jesus Christ showed that he had absolutely no problem with the Old Testament commands and practices regarding corporal (physical) punishment, aka beating someone with a whip or rod as a form of punishment.

Later in the New Testament, in Ephesians 5:25 the Bible states “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it”.  Most churches today stop at verse 25 and bastardize the Scriptural command to say God wants husbands to “give themselves up for their wife’s happiness”.  This of course plays right into the false doctrine of feminism which so infects the churches today.

It is absolutely true at times that a husband must sacrifice himself for his wife.  But his sacrifice is not for her happiness, but rather his sacrifice is for her holiness.  See the full passage from Ephesians 5:25-27 that most churches today ignore:

“Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; that he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, that he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

The Scriptures above are clear. Husbands are to model their love for their wives by how Christ demonstrates his love for his church. That means husbands are to wash their wives spiritual spots and wrinkles with the Word of God.

In Revelation 3:19 we see that this washing involves a husband rebuking and chastening his wife:

“As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent.”

Conclusion

In the Old Testament, we read in Deuteronomy 8:5 that God said he chastened his wife, the nation of Israel, “as a man chasteneth his son”. And God tells parents to use corporal punishment on their children in Proverbs 19:18 & Proverbs 23:13.

In the New Testament, we read in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church” and Christ says of his churches in Revelation 3:19 “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.

The case could not be more clear that the practice of a man using corporal punishment on his wife, also known as wife-spanking or domestic discipline, very much aligns with the teachings of the Bible. A man using corporal punishment on his wife images God’s behavior as a husband to his wife, the people of God.

If you as a husband are interested in learning more about how to implement domestic discipline into your marriage in a safe and effective manner which stays within the bounds of God’s law please consider subscribing to my podcast site. At BGRLearning.com, I have hundreds of podcasts about the teachings of the Bible related to gender roles including the podcast “A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Domestic Discipline” which you may find very helpful. There is also a companion episode for in the Christian women’s subscriptions entitled “A Wife’s Guide to Receiving Christian Domestic Discipline and Rough Sex“.

WARNING

Because of the wicked post-feminist and humanist society we now live in, I must always give this warning when writing on the subject of a husband using corporal punishment to chasten his wife.

First, let me be clear that God’s law no more requires a husband to get his wife’s consent to chasten her than he does a parent to get their child’s consent to chasten to them.

But Jesus Christ also told us as Christians to be “wise as serpents” in Matthew 10:16. This means that we need to be careful in the exercise of our rights as husbands.

Applying this principle of being wise as serpents to domestic discipline means you first need to educate your wife on the Biblical command for husbands to chasten their wives as God chastens his. And only after your wife fully accepts this as part of the Christian faith, and by extension Christian marriage, and consents to you incorporating this into your marriage should you attempt to do this.

If you attempt to do this with a wife who rejects the principle of Christian domestic discipline, you could land in jail.

If you have a wife who rejects the Biblical allowance for a husband to use corporal punishment to chasten his wife, or even if she rejects all forms of chastening, I would refer you to my article “7 Ways To Discipline You Wife“. That article will teach you how to use non-physical means to fulfill your Biblical obligation as a husband to chasten your wife.