Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?

“My husband spanked me and then grounded me because I wanted a break after having 6 children in the first 5 years of our marriage. Do I have Biblical grounds to divorce him for treating me like a child instead of his wife?” This was part of an email I received from a young Christian woman name Kathy.

The emotional response that most non-Christian Americans and even many Christian Americans would have to this woman’s question of divorce would be a resounding YES! No thought should be needed on her part, she should just pack her bags and leave. Not too long ago I would have considered myself in this crowd had the same reaction without ever giving it a second thought.

The reason for this knee jerk reaction to wife spanking is twofold.

The first is because in our modern culture we automatically associate the physical punishing of an adult (whether male or female) with physical abuse.  Most people cannot conceive of any type of physical punishment toward an adult that would not be abuse.

The second reason many would have a knee jerk reaction to this takes both the spanking and grounding into account.  The worst sin that can be committed in our culture is for a man to do anything that could even be remotely conceived as him acting like a father figure to his wife. Words like “incestuous” and “infantilizing” are raised if a man attempts to teach or discipline his wife.  The common phrase “You are not my father” that many American women use with their husbands when their husbands exercise authority over them comes to mind. We will see later in this piece that Kathy uses that language toward her husband.

Wife spanking may be wrong, but we need to look at it from a calm and Biblical perspective to discover why it is wrong if in fact it is wrong. But then we have some secondary questions posed by Kathy.  Can a Christian woman divorce her husband for spanking her even it is wrong? Can a Christian woman be forced to constantly be pregnant by her husband?

Last month I wrote a post entitled “Do Christian wives have to submit to bondage and sadomasochism requests from their husbands?” and I made my position clear there that I believe bondage violates the Biblical principle of free will that God has given to us all.  He always presents us with a choice and then we face the consequences of our choices but he never removes our ability to choose in this life.

I continued that same theme in my last post “Is it wrong for my Christian husband to make me wear a chastity belt?” There again in that post I stated that a husband forcing his wife to wear a chastity belt violates the Biblical principle that God has created mankind(men and women both) with free will.

Honestly I was so ready to move out of these issues of discipline into the topic of jealousy which will lead me to a much larger topic I wanted to cover in more detail(it is still a secret but I have spoken on it briefly before).

But God seems to be pulling me back into this subject of men disciplining their wives with emails I am receiving that I just can’t ignore and I feel I must address another discipline practice here.

In the past I have written many positive articles articulating how husbands not only have the right, but they have the duty to confront wrong behavior in their wives just as they have both the right and the duty to confront wrong behavior in their children.

I call this confronting of wrong by husbands toward their wives discipline. Why do I call it discipline? Because that is exactly what it is.  It is one thing for equals to confront wrong doing in each other. If you tell your friend you think they are wrong that is not discipline – it might be rebuke or it might be correction but it is not discipline.   But when a manager tells his employee they are wrong, or a parent tells their child they are wrong and yes even when a husband corrects or rebukes his wife this is also a form of discipline.

I have said before that I think the discipline of a child and the discipline of a wife while sharing some similarities should not be identical and I think this issue of wife spanking really will allow me to show this distinction between the two types of discipline.

God has really lead me, because of this email from Kathy, to have to really work out my beliefs about this uncomfortable and controversial top of wife spanking from a Biblical perspective. But before I do that let me share Kathy’s complete story.

Kathy’s story

“My husband spanked me and then grounded me because I wanted a break after having 6 children in the first 5 years of our marriage. Do I have Biblical grounds to divorce him for treating me like a child instead of his wife?

I’m a 26 year old female and married 5 years ago to a wonderful Christian man- the problem is we have 6 children under the age of 5 which as you can imagine is quite tiresome as I’m at home looking after them all day and then I need to prepare for my husband’s return from work and by the time I’ve finished settling the kids and cleaning up after dinner I’m just totally exhausted. My husband seems to think I should be sexually available to him whenever he touches me but for the past few months I’m just so tired- so tired in fact I went to my doctor and got a prescription for birth control pills to prevent another pregnancy- I didn’t tell my husband because I know he feels it’s his choice whether I am pregnant or not.

He had begun to get suspicious as to why I’m not pregnant again as we never had a problem before and our youngest is now 6 months old and we usually have three months between delivery and subsequent pregnancies, I had begun to avoid him sexually and there was a pretty tense atmosphere between us until it all exploded after a Sunday service a few weeks back when my parents in Law took the kids for the afternoon and my husband said he wanted us to spend time together alone which I dreaded.

Anyway to cut a long story short he took me home and started to quote scripture about how I was being disrespectful and disobedient, he said in his 37 years on earth he never witnessed a woman treating her husband with the disregard I was treating him except on one occasion when his mother back answered his father, he then told me having spoken to his father about our situation and after much prayer he felt it was time to pull me back into line, he then proceeded to spank my behind with his hand while I screamed and begged him not to- he stopped and I thought it was over but he then removed his belt and gave me 20 more lashes which he said were for the birth control pills he had found.

He then told me how much he loved me and wanted to save our marriage but for the moment he has forbade me to leave the house unless accompanied by one of his parents.

Do I have grounds for divorce because of what he has done to me?

I am still young enough to start again but don’t want to live with the fear of being seen as ungodly for seeking divorce or should I let him seek divorce based on irreconcilable differences, I have been much kinder to him since he disciplined me out of fear of it happening again which he has warned me it will if I step out of line and I don’t think he has any right to spank or whip me- he is not my father.”

My Response to Kathy’s dilemma

First let me say I can completely understand how exhausted you have felt after having 6 children in only 5 years of marriage. My first wife had our five children in 8 years and it was tough on her (and she was a stay at home mom too).

Your body does need recovery time between pregnancies while it is debatable how long that is in young women. I think it also depends on your mental situation and how you are feeling about having children.  My niece lost her first child (a daughter) a few days after she was born and wanted to get pregnant as fast she could again and ended up having another child just under a year later and both she and the baby did just fine.

As far as women having children back to back – that was actually very common not too long ago in decades past.  My father-in-law comes from a family of 13 children all from the same mother and I have worked with many Catholic people who came from families of 10 or more children.

I am not saying every woman has to have that many children, but I am saying that God has given women the ability to do that under the right circumstances.

What both Kathy and her husband have done wrong from a Biblical perspective

I think in order to answer your questions we first need to apply the three following Biblical principles to your situation:

Principle #1

Wives are to submit to their husbands in EVERYTHING

“24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:24 (KJV)

Principle #2

Husbands are to love their wives by protecting their wives and caring for their wives physical needs as they would their own bodies

“28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:”

Ephesians 5:28-29 (KJV)

Principle #3

Husbands are to dwell with their wives according to knowledge

“7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

I Peter 3:7 (KJV)

God always starts with those under authority (like servants, slaves, children and wives) and then goes to those in authority (governors, pastors, fathers, husbands).

So first we have the Biblical principle that wives are to submit to their husbands in everything and yes I believe it was wrong for you to go out on your own and make that decision to take birth control. That is something that should first have discussed with your husband.  I know you might say that you already would have known his answer but going and doing it secretly was not right.

I do believe your husband from a Biblical perspective has the final say in all matters.  I also think you have to come to the realization that you allowed some bitterness to grow in your heart toward your husband because of his lack of considerateness toward you in regard to you getting pregnant.   So you have two areas to apologize for – one for being deceitful and going behind his back with the birth control pills and the other in holding bitterness towards him.  Yes he was wrong to (and I will get more into how he was wrong), but two wrongs never make a right.

Now let’s deal with what your husband did.

God calls husbands to love their wives as their own bodies and to dwell with their wives according to knowledge.  I do not believe your husband has been loving you as his own body by him not being considerate of your physical and mental condition as it relates to your pregnancies being so close together.  He should of as a loving husband being looking out for your physical and mental well-being which apparently he was not doing.  I am sure he honestly thinks he is but he is blind in this area to what is really going on.

Is wife spanking a sin?

Wife spanking in and of itself is not sinful but it could quickly become sinful if it is done under the wrong circumstances or done in an improper way.

The issue of whether a particular act of wife spanking is right or wrong hinges on the Biblical concept of free will and consent. Contrary to the views of my critics, I actually do believe that a husband should seek his wife’s consent on some things.

God’s respect for our free will and consent is clearly shown in this passage of Scripture:

“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will sup with him, and he with me.”

Revelation 3:20 (KJV)

God does not force himself upon us but rather he knocks – and in his knocking he is asking for our consent to come in.  Now should we all give our consent to God and is there a consequence for us not giving our consent to God in this situation? Absolutely! The consequence of not consenting to God’s request to come into our lives is hell! But contrary to what some Christians believe, God never forces himself on us in this way – we must freely choose, we must consent to let him in.

In the same way husbands should learn from God’s example.  When it comes to our wife’s body and her very person she must give her consent before we touch her either in a sexual way or in a disciplining way.

For instance in the area of sex I do not believe a husband should ever force himself sexually on his wife but should only do so with her consent.  Now should the consent be given except for rare medical issues that would prevent any sexual contact? Absolutely it should be given.

Now this brings us into how a wife’s consent connects to wife spanking.  I regularly correspond with some Christian couples where the husband spanks his wife.  But in each case they talked about this before marriage and she agreed to this form of discipline.  She also freely consents to it again each time even after they were married and without this consent he will not spank her. These women feel that this is a powerful tool to bring them back into submission to their husbands.

Now other Christian women see this as dishonoring to them and a violation of the Biblical principle that a husband is to honor his wife:

“7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

I Peter 3:7 (KJV)

The question that everyone will be asking now is do I spank my wife or did I spank my ex-wife? The answer is no.  I personally have never spanked either my first wife or my second wife and it was not an issue of me asking for consent and it being declined.  It is a matter of my personal preference in regard to discipline methods.

In fact I have not even spanked my children once they reached the teen years. I personally feel this is the beginning of young adulthood and I understand how it might feel humiliating to them because of the culture we have all been raised in. There are plenty of other forms of non-physical discipline I can and have used.

The Bible tells us as fathers not to provoke our children to wrath and I believe forcing physical punishment on a young or pre-adult (which is technically what a teenager is) could very much be a case of “provoking your child to wrath”:

“Fathers, provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged.”

Colossians 3:21 (KJV)

But even if a Christian husband feels his wife is wrong in objecting to being spanked on the grounds of it being humiliating and dishonoring to her he cannot violate her consent to her body in this way.  Instead he will have to use other non-physical forms of discipline.

But isn’t wife spanking abusive?

Wife spanking is not automatically abusive. As I previously said if a wife consents to this type of physical discipline then there is no sin and there is no abuse. But even if she does not consent this does not automatically make wife spanking physical abuse but instead it may be a husband abusing his authority.

You might be scratching your head now so let me try and explain the distinction.

If a husband spanks his wife without her consent, but does not cause any serious or lasting damage to her body this is not physical abuse, but rather an abuse or misuse of his authority which is still sin. If a husband spanks his wife with or without her consent but in the process causes serious or lasting damage to her body then this would be both an abuse of his authority as well as the act of physically abusing his wife’s body.  If a man physically abuses his wife this is a clear violation of the Ephesians 5:29 principle that a man is to care for and protect his wife’s body as he does his own.

So what is the distinction between the discipline of a wife and child?

The next question that someone might ask is “if spanking is not automatically treating your wife as a child then what is?”

In many ways especially when it comes to the discipline of teenagers the discipline of a wife by her husband and the discipline of children by their father will often look similar.  But there are two key differences between the way discipline occurs between a parent and child and between a husband and his wife.

The first difference is honor.

“7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.”

I Peter 3:7 (KJV)

The Bible tells husbands in I Peter 3:7 that they are to give “honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel”.  A husband must give proper honor to his wife’s position when disciplining her.   This means whenever possible a husband should not verbally, physically or in any other way discipline his wife in front of his children to whom she is also an authority.  He should discipline in her private wherever possible.  Now there may be some instances where public rebuke is called for by a husband toward his wife if she is publically disrespecting him or undermining his authority with their children.

The second difference is consent.

“The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.”

Proverbs 29:15 (KJV)

A parent does not need a child’s consent to physically discipline them. Children don’t get to make choices over their own bodies – parents make medical and all decisions regarding their children’s bodies except in the area of sexuality.  A parent has no right to touch their child in a sexual way – this is a sin before God.

A wife on the other hand must give consent to her husband for him to physically access her body either for sexual pleasure or for discipline and this is a key difference between the discipline of children and the discipline of a wife.

And now leaving the topic of discipline and specifically wife spanking let’s move on the topic of a husband forcing his wife to get pregnant.

Is a husband wrong for forcing his wife to get pregnant year after year?

Again we come back to consent.  In the same way a wife must consent to any physical contact including sexual or disciplinary contact she too must consent to getting pregnant. Should she consent? Just as with sexual relations I think in most normal cases she should.  But a husband must also love his wife as his own body and care for her physical and mental needs and not force her to get pregnant if this would not be mentally or physically healthy for her.

“He is not my father”

Kathy – I think you need to be careful with the attitude of “he is not my father”, I know where you are coming from because you think he is treating you like a child by grounding you and spanking you. But realize your husband actually has more Biblical authority over than your father because of his sexual access to your body.  I do think husbands can under certain circumstances take away certain privileges from their wives, but ultimately I don’t think a husband can keep his wife a prisoner in her home.   He could take away credit cards and access to money so there is little you can do when you go out.

I know it is a tough situation to be in with the pregnancies so close together and him expecting more children. But while I do see sinful behavior on his part in his neglecting to love you as his own body considering your mental and physical wellbeing with having so many children together I don’t see it as rising to the level of allowing for divorce.

And you really need to consider that you have five children that will grow up in a divorce situation.  I have been there.  I have five children and I had to divorce my wife for unfaithfulness (she had an affair with an ex-boyfriend) and I had to raise them in a divorce situation.  It is not easy. And don’t think second marriages are easy because they are not.  Your next husband may not ever spank you or ground you or want you to have kids every year but he will have other problems that won’t come out until after you are married.

However even though I think divorce is not warranted, I think separation might be.

Kathy – It is one thing if your husband is doing things that might upset you, but don’t affect you in such a personal way.  For instance maybe your husband gambles but he still provide food, clothing and shelter for you.  Maybe your husband looks at porn privately but never makes you watch it and he regularly has sex with you. Maybe he drinks too much, but he never drives drunk and he only drinks in his off hours at home. Maybe he is a workaholic.  You get my point.  These things affect you but none of these things have to do with your consent.

You husband Biblically speaking does not have to get your consent to do things for himself (whether they be right or wrong in your view).  Whether he works too much, looks at porn, drinks, or does a host of other things he does not have to have your consent in any of these matters.

However he DOES have to have your consent to your body and your person.  He cannot go against your consent in this way even though in many cases God requires that you give him your consent.

If your husband is making you have children every year that affects you and your body and mind in a very personal way.  If he is spanking you without your consent that type of discipline affects your body and mind in a very personal way.

It is because his behavior in these areas so profoundly affects you in these personal ways that you may need to show him that through separation.  If he fails to see that he must have your consent in these areas then perhaps he will just divorce you. I hope it does not come to that and that your husband will see the error of his ways.

If God does not force himself on us, but rather he knocks and asks for our consent how can we as Christian husbands think we have more power than God?

Does I Corinthians 7:4 contradict the concept that a wife must give her consent to her body?

Some of my fellow Christians to the right of me might say I Corinthians 7:4 contradicts my teaching here about husbands needing the consent of their wives in regard to their bodies.

“The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” I Corinthians 7:4 (KJV)

I have used this verse often on this blog to show that the Bible say husbands and wives should not deny each other sexually.

However I Corinthians 7:4 does not remove consent either on the part of the husband or the wife. Let’s look at the larger context:

“3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

I Corinthians 7:3-4 (KJV)

Notice that the word “consent” actually occurs in verse 5. But really in these three verses there are two types of consent. Verses 3 and 4 show a REQUIRED consent.  I know that seems like a contradiction but it really is not.

Let me show you why the concept of required consent is not a contraction. If a police officer pulls you over thinking you might be drunk driving you are required to give your consent to a breathalyzer test.   If you fail to consent to that the consequence of your failure to consent is that you get arrested and taken to jail.

In marriage yes a wife must give her consent to her husband for him to have sexual access to her body as she must get his consent to get access to his body.  But make no mistake this type of consent is required. Failure to give consent to sex over a long period of time may result in the injured spouse exercising their Biblical right to divorce for sexual denial – both men and women have this right.

The second type of consent where the word “consent” is actually used in verse 5 is talking about a mutual or optional consent as opposed to a required consent. A husband and wife must mutually agree to periods where they will not have sex for various reasons but then they need to come together again soon to avoid sexual temptation.

So in conclusion – no I Corinthians 7:4 does not cancel out the fact that a husband must have consent to his wife’s body especially in the areas of sex, discipline and her getting pregnant.

UPDATE: 8/21/2016

After reading my post on her dilemma with her husband Kathy wrote me back with this response:

“Thank you for your reply,

I have read your answer and you have made some very good points about areas I should look at. I guess taking birth control without discussing it was a bad move as the only reason I didn’t really want another child was not because I didn’t feel mentally or physically able but because I wanted control of the choice even though prior to our marriage we agreed we would not use any form of birth control and let nature decide.

We also agreed that I would be sexually available to my husband as required so he has never actually taken me without consent as he has never asked for permission.

I have never and would never refuse him but I have being grudging and unwelcoming to his advances.

I have found your advice excellent and I guess the spanking was a last resort for him as his words didn’t seem to be having the effect on me he wanted- he is a wonderful father to our children and excellent provider for us and he works so hard to ensure I don’t have to work or worry about finances which I’m sure would be very stressful if I had to worry about work and bills and such things.

I will pray on this situation and ask my husband for forgiveness for my disobedience and shameful behavior and I will thankfully and joyfully position myself under his rightful authority again as the head of our home and bedroom and hopefully this will return us to the peace and calm that reigned in the early years of our union.

Kind Regards

Kathy”

Advertisements

113 thoughts on “Does the Bible allow a husband to spank his wife?

  1. Jonadab,

    I agree with you that the family courts are anti-family and misandrists in many cases. However I have seen in my own experience with divorce just back in 2009 and with several male friends since then that if a man fights and is willing to put it all on the line he has a far better chance of success. You see for all the tough acting that women put on often they bow in the face of a scorched earth campaign by their husband.

    Basically it goes like this. You say to your wife – “If you don’t agree to joint physical and legal custody and no alimony(child support is calculated by court) then I will use all our savings and everything we have together on lawyers until there is not a penny left. Even the house will have to be sold to pay the attorney fees. You and I will both be living in apartments or elsewhere where we can afford the rent and if I need to get a lesser paying job to make it even more difficult I will. I will stretch this out in court for years and I will not agree to anything court arbitrators try and force, or any pressure my lawyer or your lawyer to settle. I will take this to the judge and in the end even if I don’t get the custody I want you(my soon to be ex-wife) will end up broke with nothing. Or you can agree to a reasonable custody and reasonable division of assets and you can walk away with something, instead of nothing.”

    This is basically the approach I took with my ex-wife and she gave me exactly what I wanted. Since I work during the week I asked for my children every Friday to Sunday and I give them back to her on Mondays. I also kept my pension and made a small cash settlement with her.

    My point is when you show women that you fear them, when you show them you are not willing to risk it all they will hang divorce over your head like an anvil and get you to do whatever they want. Even in divorce some of my friends did get taken to the cleaners by their wives – but you know why? Because they folded under pressure from their wife’s attorneys and even their own attorneys along with court arbiters. They did not mount scorched earth campaigns because they were too afraid and in the end they paid for their fear.

    There are remedies my friend, but they are not always pleasant. Each man has to decide when it is time. You have to seek the Lord’s will. The situation with my current wife(my second wife) is far from perfect and she occasionally acts in rebellion on various things and denies me. I apply discipline that I think is right(non-physical) and she often comes back in line. Sometimes though it takes her a while. But If my wife were doing what yours is and completely denying me and a Pastor told me I was called celibacy I would push the divorce button so fast her head would spin. I would not just push the divorce button, but I would also give her the “scorched earth” speech. Again there are remedies – we just have to choose to go through the unpleasantness to do them.

  2. @BGR,

    That was more or less what I was trying to say. If you don’t ask or fight anything, you won’t get anything, particularly as a man. But if a man is willing to do what you or is able to get good representation or mediation, he can also get a good settlement. And unless both spouses incomes are equal, most men can likely afford more.

  3. @ Alex

    But If my wife were doing what yours is and completely denying me and a Pastor told me I was called celibacy I would push the divorce button so fast her head would spin. I would not just push the divorce button, but I would also give her the “scorched earth” speech.

    Where would you find Biblical justification for such actions?

    I am bound by my conscience, which is informed by scripture. My best understanding of scripture is that Christians are not to divorce. That is not meant to condemn you or others, it is my honest conclusion from intensive study over a period of many years. I am commanded to love my wife like Christ loves the church, and the church often behaves just like my wife, yet Christ does not divorce her at least not that I am aware. So while divorce might be less painful than my current reality and while a scorched earth campaign might get me a better settlement, I have to believe that such an action would violate not just my conscience but also what duty God requires of me. I must cling to the promise that Christ’s grace is sufficient and that if I must suffer then I can suffer and yet I know that this is not God’s design for marriage, but the work of the serpent who has beguiled so many including my wife.

  4. Jonadab,

    Well Jonadab I won’t get into a huge discussion about divorce with you – you know my positions on divorce well and my interpretation of the New Testament passages that I believe allow for divorce. If you feel called God has called you to suffer then that is what you must do.

  5. Apologies. :/ I didn’t realize that you two had discussed it before, and I misread Jonadab’s comment as him asking you why you thought that divorce would be a just course of action in his case.

  6. and if this poor woman dies from complicatiobs from having babies back to back, im gonna remember this comment

  7. @Sapphire,

    Six children in five years is a lot, even for a family that eschews all artificial contraception. I wonder if Kathy is even breastfeeding. I know that breastfeeding isn’t 100% effective in preventing back-to-back pregnancies, but all the research that I’ve seen suggests that it is and has always been a natural mechanism that generally prevents women from getting pregnant again only two or three months postpartum. To use an anecdotal example, my grandmother had ten children (all single births, first born when she was 23), and she had at least 21 months between births. She and my grandfather are devoutly Catholic, so they didn’t use birth control at all. It was simply breastfeeding. I know that this method isn’t effective for every woman, but I’ve heard stories of some Christian men and women who go so far as to oppose breastfeeding because they believe that it interferes with their ability to be fruitful and multiply. Again, this may be very well not be Kathy’s situation, but it’s unusual to have only three months between births and subsequent pregnancies, even without artificial birth control.

  8. I think we are missing the point here. When God created man and woman and he gave adam permission to be in charge even before the fall in the garden, God gave adam permission to be in charge of the relationship and therefore gave him permission to take charge of his wife in a loving and godly way when is she stepped out of line. It has been that way since the garden. It has been that way since before the fall. Therefore, the husband does not need the wife’s permission nor anybody else’s permission to discipline the children no matter what age they are or the wife’s discipline because God gave him that permission. Plus, for the wife to say you cannot spank me or discipline me anyway would still be saying I have control and I have power over my husband and that is wrong and sinful against the Bible. The wife is to obey regardless and if she steps out of line the husband has the right, under God to spank her and discipline her as he would the children, no matter what age they are. So I humbly and respectfully disagree with your stand that we need consent from the wife. That is wrong!

  9. Umrules2–I completely agree with your statement, and I am a female. I feel I should submit to my husband 100% of the time, whether I want to or not (unless it should be something dangerous or illegal). If he makes me mad, of course it’s harder to submit, especially sex-and there are times I don’t. He punishes me accordingly, be it sound spanking, grounding, etc, and though I don’t like it, I agreed to it long before we were married. He actually had me start obeying him while engaged to get me used to being obedient to him. I’m not perfect and I get punished probably a couple times a month. I hate when it happens because it makes feel small and it’s humiliating at times, but I respect him for taking charge of me and would think less of him if he let me get away with things!

  10. Something to add to my previous comment–there’s a big difference in spanking for discipline and beating someone. Spanking is done to correct bad behavior, and my husband hates when he has to do that. It always makes me feel really bad to see the disappointment he has in me and the sadness in his eyes when he has to punish me 😦

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s