Month: December 2018

How a Husband Can Enjoy Sex That Causes His Wife Pain

/ biblicalgenderroles / 6 Comments

Your wife has been to all the specialists and has recently been given the bad news.  She has a chronic and incurable form of dyspareunia. Sexual intercourse will always be painful for her and there is nothing medically that can be done.

When you first got married, your wife hid her pain from you.  But you, being the loving husband that you are decided to delve deep into your wife’s thoughts on sex.  You wanted to see what you could do better in the bedroom. You thought you were doing ok and she seemed to enjoy sex with you but sometimes you thought you sensed some pain on her face.  You would ask her if she wanted you to stop and she would say no and that she wanted you to continue.

So, your loving wife, not wanting to hide anything from you as her husband gave you the bad news.  Every time you had sexual intercourse it was painful for her.  Every time.  She explains that this is why she would sometimes come up to you and give you oral sex and finish you off before you could try intercourse with her.

From that night on you could not have sexual intercourse with her anymore. And it was not because she did not want to or would not let you if you tried.  She offered it on several occasions.  But you could not even entertain the thought of causing your wife pain so you could experience pleasure.

Sure, she helped you orally and manually for the past year as you went with her to many specialists to see if her dyspareunia could be treated. But oral and manual sex while offering relief, could not offer the bonding feeling you felt from being inside your wife.

But from the moment you made the decision to stop having sexual intercourse with your wife, despite her offers to do so, you began to feel the intimacy between you and her diminish.  You longed for that eruption of affection and bonding you felt for her each time after having intercourse.  And that special affection would sometimes last for days.

You used to love oral sex from her when you did not know why she was doing it (to avoid the pain of intercourse).  Now it is only a painful reminder of the intercourse with your wife that you can never have again.

You got all the books. You tried to convince yourself of the things that so many people teach.  That sex is not a need for a man.  It’s all in your head.  You don’t really need sexual intercourse with your wife to feel that special affection and bonding you felt only after intercourse with her.   You can cultivate it in other ways.  You can feel that same feeling from oral or manual sex with her.

But none of it is working.  You know you need to have intercourse with your wife to fuel your affection for her and feel bonded to her.  She wants to have sexual intercourse with you despite her chronic and incurable dyspareunia.

But how can you have sex with your wife, and find any pleasure knowing that every movement that gives you pleasure causes her pain?

Sex is a Need for You as a Man

Many Christian and non-Christians teach that sex is not a need for men, but simply a want.  Even though your desire for sex as a man mimics your hunger for food it is not a need since you won’t die from not having sex, or so you are told.  You are told that your desire to have sex with your wife is no different than your desire for a new car, a new hunting rifle or a new video game and is no more a need than any of these other things are.

The Bible however reveals that sex is a God-given, built in NEED for men. 

In Proverbs 5:15-19 we read the following descriptions and prescriptions for sex for men:

“15 Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. 16 Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. 17 Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. 18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”

In the passage above God tells you that sex is a need for you just as water is a need for you.  In fact, the comparison of your need for water to your need for sex is a very accurate reflection of the male nature.  Both men and women need sex and even the Bible acknowledges that women need sex as well (See Exodus 21:10-11).

But for a woman sex is just one of many needs she has and it not a defining aspect of her she is.  It is not the driving force in her nature and her life that is in you as a man.

Think of sex as its highest level and what it does for you as a man.  We often think of sex as something that depletes our energy and that is true on some levels.  Immediately after sex we will feel a great relaxation come over us because of all the chemicals released by our brain.  We may even want to roll over and go to sleep.

But there are other things that take place in the male brain as a result of sex.  Men receive a HUGE psychological boost immediately after sex for hours or often times days.  We feel a huge increase in affection for our wife, we feel more bonded and closer to her and it can even fuel us in our drive in our jobs.

This is all by the design of God.  This is why the longer you go without sex with your wife, the thirstier you feel.   Because God made you to desire your wife’s body and to be physically joined within her in the same way you desire water.  And your sexual nature is just as dominate in you as a man as water is a dominate feature within all human beings (our bodies our made up over 60% water).

Men Need More Than Just Orgasms, They Need Penile Vaginal Intercourse

Multiple studies over many years have proven that what researchers call “PVI” or Penile Vaginal Intercourse has the greatest health affects for both men and women.  They specifically compared the levels of chemical releases and the physiological and psychological effects between PVI and other forms of sexual release such as oral sex, anal sex and masturbation and PVI by far showed the best effects.

For instance, the hormone prolactin released at orgasm during PVI is 400% higher than other forms of sexual release including masturbation, anal sex or oral sex.  Evolutionists try and explain this as something our bodies developed to steer us toward vaginal intercourse over other forms of sexual release so we would reproduce. But as Christians we know that God designed everything about sex – and it was not just for reproduction.

Both men and women release hormones like dopamine, testosterone, estrogen, oxytocin, prolactin, vasopressin and serotine during sexual stimulation of any kind (PVI or other).  The difference is in the amount of these chemicals released in men and women and interactions within their overall body chemistry.

Let’s take dopamine for example.  Dopamine is “the pleasure hormone”.  It is what the body releases when we are doing something that is pleasurable to us.  It is a reward system of sorts. In men the effects of dopamine are supercharged by the fact that a man has 10 times the testosterone in his system that a woman does.  It does not mean women don’t have pleasure from sex, but they don’t get as big a high off sex as men do because of their lower testosterone levels.

On the other hand, women can have 10 to 20 times the estrogen in their bodies that men have in theirs.  And while oxytocin is released in both men and women during any sex it is most potent in women when combined with their higher levels of estrogen.  This can cause women to have far greater emotional attachment to a man during and especially after sex.

The point is this.  Those who say if a wife suffers from chronic dyspareunia that PVI intercourse should cease and be replaced with masturbation or oral sex do not understand the extremely negative physiological and psychological effects that this brings on both husbands and wives and their marriages.  The short amount of pain a woman experiences during PVI is a much smaller price to pay than the long-term damage to a relationship of no more PVI.

This is why God put the greatest longing for sexual relations, and PVI in particular in men.  And this is why neither oral sex or masturbation done by yourself or even that which is performed by your wife can bring you together in the way that PVI will do.  It is only through PVI that you can be fully united with your wife and truly be one flesh as God intended you to be.

This is why you must reject the lies that you will hear so often as a man.

Men only desire sex for pleasure and for no other reason –  This is a LIE.

God wants sex to only occur if it is both mutually desired and mutually pleasurable for both the husband and wife – This is a LIE. 

Husbands desire sex to be one flesh with their wife in the fullest way God intended.  And remember that last phrase – “God intended”.   That is a truth you must ingrain in your mind as you remove the lies that have been infused in your mind by your cultural upbringing.

 Suffering for the Benefit of Others Is a Christian Virtue

The Scriptures tell us:

“For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps”

I Peter 2:21

What this means is that your wife’s willingness to suffer pain during sexual intercourse with you is a holy and righteous act before God.  In doing this she is following the example of Christ.  And you must remember that she is not just doing this for you, she is doing this for your marriage which she is a part of.

Your wife, by joyfully enduring suffering during sexual intercourse for you and your marriage is “walking worth of the Lord” as seen in Colossians 1:10-11:

“That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness; “

Christ makes the follow observation of a woman when she experiences pain in childbirth:

“A woman when she is in travail hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.” – John 16:21

Your wife knows that the pain she is experiencing is only temporary and she will “remembereth no more the anguish” for the joy of making you feel bonded to her and the joy of seeing your heart filled with affection for her.

This is NOT Sexual Sadism

A Sexual Sadist is one who derives sexual pleasure or is aroused by causing someone else pain.

The Bible condemns sadism in several passages including the following passage from Mark 7:20-23:

“20 And he said, That which cometh out of the man, that defileth the man. 21 For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, 22 Thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lasciviousness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride, foolishness: 23 All these evil things come from within, and defile the man.”

The English word “wickedness” found in verse 22 is a translation of the Greek word ‘’Poneria” not to be confused with “Porneia” which refers to sexually immoral acts.  This word refers to taking pleasure from causing others pain.

The English phrase “evil eye” also found in verse 22 is a translation of the Greek words “Poneros” and “Ophthalmos”.  What this phrase refers to is one who derives pleasure from watching another person cause pain to others.

God shows us in Revelation 21:4 that suffering and pain are a result of the corrupting influence of sin on this world:

“And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be any more pain: for the former things are passed away.” – Revelation 21:4

If you are a man who is sexually aroused by and sexually fueled by causing your wife pain you must recognize this is part of sin’s evil corruption of your sexual nature.  This is NOT by the design of God.

On the other hand, if your sexual nature is more closely aligned to the way God created it, you as a man will actually be turned off by your wife’s pain.  It will be difficult for you to have sex with her knowing it would cause her pain.  Her pain does not arouse you in the least bit.

But if your wife who suffers from chronic and incurable dyspareunia offers to have sexual intercourse with you despite the pain knowing she will suffer and then you do so and derive pleasure from the experience are you guilty of engaging in sexual sadism?

The answer is NO.

There is a world of difference between allowing yourself to experience sexual pleasure DESPITE your wife’s pain and you deriving sexual pleasure FROM your wife’s pain.

This then brings us to the main question of this article.

How You Can Enjoy Sex Despite Your Wife’s Pain

As a husband who loves your wife you may be saying at this point – “I understand it is not wrong for me to desire sexual intercourse with my wife nor to take her up on her offer even though it will cause her pain to do so, but I just can’t.  I can’t have sex with her knowing it will cause her pain.  I certainly cannot take any pleasure from such an act”.

But as I have shown earlier – God placed the desire in you for sexual intercourse for more than simply pleasure. Stop believing that lie that the world tries to tell you and even many Christian teachers try to tell you. God placed that desire in you so that a special oneness, a oneness that only occurs through penile vaginal intercourse can and will occur.  It is your duty and obligation to overcome your lack of arousal because of your wife’s pain.

In the same way she must overcome her pain to become one with you, so too you must overcome her pain to become one with her.

The answer to this is very similar to an answer I gave a few years back in my article entitled “How a husband can enjoy sex that is grudgingly given by his wife”.  The major difference in that situation and this one is that you have a wife willingly and sacrificially having sex with you and not a wife who is grudgingly having sex with you.

But both these types of sexual situations do have something in common.   Your wife’s face may not be pleasant to look upon during this experience.  She may try her best to hide the pain, but you may still see it on her face.  So, like in the case of sex with a wife who has grudgingly consented to do so, you need to look away from your wife’s face.  Enjoy the rest of her body that God has given to you as your sexual well.

Once you train yourself to do this, knowing that your wife in this case is lovingly sacrificing herself for you, knowing this is righteous act before God and knowing that this will actually help bond you together and fuel your affection for her then you will actually be able to enjoy this experience despite your wife’s dyspareunia.

“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.” – Ephesians 5:31

Why A Wife Should Endure Painful Sex with Her Husband

/ biblicalgenderroles / 27 Comments

Should a wife always alert her husband at the first sign of painful intercourse? Or should women endure a certain amount of pain and hide this from their husbands? What about women who deal with chronic and un-treatable conditions that will always make sexual intercourse painful? How does the Bible say a Christian wife should respond in these situations?

Since the average person in America today is only capable of reading a title, and perhaps the first few paragraphs let me start off with what this article is NOT advocating for.

  1.  This article DOES NOT advocate for men to have sex with their wives right after children birth or after she has had a surgery or when she is sick.
  2.  This article DOES NOT advocate for sexual sadism (taking sexual pleasure from causing someone else pain).
  3.  This article DOES NOT tell women they cannot or should never tell their husbands about pain during sex, nor is it saying men should never stop having sex when their wife indicates there is a pain issue.

The article is actually taking comments that were sent to me, one from a man and then multiple comments from two women discussing painful intercourse from a Christian woman’s point of view.  This article discusses two types of pain – one that is caused by temporary issues that some of the women allude to below and others that are caused by chronic untreatable conditions.

STOP Reading this Article from this point if…

  1. You are unable to learn new things.
  2. You are unable to emotionally or intellectually process other points of view.
  3. You think sex is not a need and is only for pleasure and no reasoning to the contrary will convince you otherwise.
  4. You think men only want sex from their wives for pleasure and no reasoning to the contrary will convince you otherwise.
  5.  You do not think any person should ever suffer even the smallest amount of pain in order to do something kind for another person and no reasoning  will convince you otherwise.
  6.  You accept that people may suffer pain in order to do something kind for others, except in the area of sex.  You believe there is never a circumstance where a man or woman should suffer even the smallest amount of pain during sex for the benefit of the other person and no reasoning will convince you otherwise.

So if you are the person I just described. STOP READING.  Go on and continue living in your safe space with your beliefs and presuppositions unchallenged. But if you are an open minded person, and are intellectually and emotionally strong enough to have your beliefs challenged and tested and perhaps even changed then continue reading.

But I give you this last warning.  If you continue reading – you may be exposed to Bible passages and ideas that you have never heard in all your life.  You may find truths in the Bible that are life changing.  Truths that give us as men and women purpose for our lives.  Truths that conflict with many values and ideologies that you have been raised with as an American, and even as a Christian.

You may find out that this is about a lot more than just women experiencing painful sex.

And with that said here we go…

The following comments were recently submitted on an article that I wrote back in 2016 entitled “The benefits of being a sexually obedient wife”.

The first came from a person calling himself JDMartin:

“Sex is actually fairly painful for my wife. She has never said flatout no, and absolutely never asked to stop before I am finished shes proud of that and basically wont let me stop or it would “ruin her record” lol. She has a saying or thing she says from time to time that “women have no idea what makes a girl good in bed is what she is willing to let her husband do, and how much pain she can take.”

After some other comments he sent that I blocked and did not approve I became convinced JDMartin was in fact a troll. But I decided to let his first comments remain because of the conversation it evoked with two women. Sometimes even some of the absurdity in comments by trolls can bring about good discussions.

The first woman, Alice, made this response to JD Martin’s comment:

“The idea that what makes a woman good in bed is “how much pain she can take” is not biblical, in the least. It is also repugnant. It has nothing to do with feminism, but with basic biology. If sex is painful for a woman, than something is wrong, either with her or with her husband’s treatment of her.”

A second woman called, Sunny, made this response to Alice:

“Alice I actually disagree with you on that. I’m not going to say if you should or should not continue sex if it’s painful (that is up to the individuals to decide). I will say from personal experience that painful sex doesn’t always mean there is something wrong. Sex can be painful at times with my husband. I’m not sure how else to put this but if a man is larger in the “southern region” then sex can and will be painful at times. Again, I’m not saying if a woman should or should not continue as that is a personal choice. Personally, for us there are times he will stop and other times where it doesn’t really matter or we will just change positions. That’s probably TMI but it’s true and I’m sure many women have dealt with it when their husbands are above average in size.”

Alice then responded:

“Sunny, my husband is also overly endowed. (and why on Earth do women think this is a good thing?!) He takes extra care and patience so that I very rarely experience pain. Not to mention, six babies have made their way through that passage and their heads were certainly much larger! I still maintain that if a woman is crying through the whole experience, the man is doing something wrong, or she has medical issues which should be addressed.”

To which Sunny made this final response:

“Alice. You must understand that all women are different. I have one child via c-section. After a c-section the muscles swell and tighten up, that is “normal” after a c-section. My friend had the same problem, she approached a doctor about it and even her own doctor wasn’t concerned about the pain during intercourse. Basically, she told her that is going to happen. I did cry the first time I had sex after my
c-section as I became virgin tight again.
Yes, there are times that painful sex is link to medical conditions or reason for concern but most certainly not in ALL cases.

If my husband and I are not intimate for a few weeks sex does become painful for me. This might not be the case for you, but you must understand that our bodies are not the same. If a woman waits longer periods of time between sex things tighten down there. Add in larger male size the act of slipping it in even hurts. I actually have been on the verge of crying because we waited two months in-between sex. According to a medical professional that’s actually normal.

Maybe your case is different because your sex life is more active and you’ve had children naturally but this is NOT the case for many women (myself included).
I’m also in pain sometimes after exercising that doesn’t mean there is something wrong, you kinda just use logic and deal with it if it’s not a reason for concern.”

I really do enjoy sometimes just letting people hash things out a bit before I respond and I actually think it is a great thing for women to speak to each other in candid ways like this. There are things that women need to hear from other women and this is an excellent case of that.

However, contrary to popular belief today, women can also learn about sex from men. God divinely spoke his word through men and he also assigned fathers, husbands, pastors and other male Christian teachers the responsibility to teach both men and women his word regarding sex in marriage.

So, what is the answer to this question of painful sex for women – should a wife endure any pain during intercourse with her husband?

The answer can be found in applying several principles found in the Bible.

Seven Biblical Principles That Form the Christian Philosophy of Sex

Principle #1 – God created man to bring him glory by imaging him. (I Corinthians 11:7)
Principle# 2 – God created woman for man, not man for woman. (I Corinthians 11:9)
Principle #3 – God created man to desire beauty and pleasure to image God’s desire for beauty and pleasure. (Psalm 45:11, Isaiah 46:10, Revelation 4:11)
Principle #4– One of the reasons God created woman for man was to be his source or his “well” of sexual pleasure. God equates a man’s need for sex with his need for water. (Proverbs 5:15-19) The New Testament tells us that sex is “the natural use of the woman” by man. (Romans 1:27)
Principle #5 – A man may only engage in “the natural use of the woman” after he has entered into a covenant of marriage with that woman. (Hebrews 13:4) All sex outside of a marriage covenant (such as prostitution or pre-marital sex) is condemned by God.
Principle #6 – God also created woman with a need for sex and he equates a woman’s need for sex with that of her need for food and clothing. (Exodus 21:10-11) But why did God plant this need in woman? Why did God give woman the desire to have sex and the ability to experience sexual pleasure? For this we must refer to back to Principle #2. This tells us that a woman’s desire for sex and her ability to enjoy sex was not given to her for own sake, but rather for the sake of her husband to compliment and enhance his sexual pleasure. And when a man enjoys the sexual pleasure of his wife, he images the pleasure God receives in his relationship with his people.
Principle #7 – All Christians, both men and women are called to emulate Christ’s endurance in the face of suffering and pain especially for the benefit of others. (1 Peter 2:21-24)

So, when we tie all the above principles together the answer to whether a Christian wife should endure painful sex with her husband is YES.

Some Clarifications

Should a wife seek out help from her doctor if she experiences painful intercourse? Absolutely yes! Some causes of pain can be helped with medication or sometimes even surgery. But other types of pain experienced by women during intercourse may have no cure and a woman may have to learn to endure and cope with such pain.

Still other types of pain may be temporary as Sunny alluded to like when a wife has not had sex in while it may hurt the first few times afterwards and she may need to very regularly have sex (which is a good thing for her husband and herself) in order to avoid this kind of pain.

Might some types of pain be avoided simply by the husband making some changes in his methods? Of course. And wives should find respectful and gentle ways to direct their husbands in this regard.

Should a woman hide her pain from her husband?

Some women might use visual cues of pain to help their husbands understand what hurts and what does not. This can be used, but should be used carefully. If it used to help improve sex, and not shame her husband then it can be a good thing. It might also be warning to the woman herself that she needs to see a doctor.

However, what if after seeing a doctor the doctor tells her that source of her pain cannot be cured and there is nothing that her husband can do differently to make this pain go away?

The answer is clear, even if it is not easy. A wife who suffers from chronic and untreatable dyspareunia (painful intercourse) must find the strength to endure such pain and not only endure it but hide it as much as possible from her husband.

The reason she should hide this is for her to do her best to fulfill one the purposes for which God designed her and that is the sexual pleasure of her husband.

There is another general principle that applies to all Christians, both men and women and that is that we are to set aside anything that hinders us from fulfilling the purposes that God has for our lives. And when it comes to this issue of painful sex, I encourage wives to truly mediate on this passage from the book of Hebrews:
“1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God.”
Hebrews 12:1-2

Are you willing to lay aside your pride, your discomfort and even your chronic sexual pain and to endure such pain to fulfill one of the purposes for which God created you which was to bring sexual pleasure to your husband? Are you willing to do this without an attitude, without trying to pass your suffering on to your husband in order to make him not want to have sex with you?

If a Woman is Crying Throughout Sex is the Man Always Wrong to Continue?

Alice made the following statement in regard to JDMartin’s statement about his wife crying during sex:

“I still maintain that if a woman is crying through the whole experience, the man is doing something wrong, or she has medical issues which should be addressed.“

But is it true that if a woman is crying through the whole sexual experience that it is automatically the man doing something wrong? The answer is no.

In the case of JDMartin I think from his own admission of being rough with his wife he may be doing something wrong. But it really does depend though on the woman. What is rough? Some women are like china dolls and any amount of friction or thrusting during sex may be considered rough to them when it really is not and they simply need to endure and strengthen themselves.

For me personally since I have been married to two different women (I divorced my first wife for adultery) I can say I saw this difference play out first hand. My first wife was telling me to be rougher and my second wife was telling me to be gentler. So every woman really is different in this regard.

Husbands and wives both need to adjust to one another when it comes to sex. Sometimes a man may have to make some changes for his wife, but at the same time a woman might have to endure some things for her husband.

So when a woman cries all during sex could it be that the man is mistreating her? Absolutely yes. But from a Christian perspective we must realize that sometimes it could be the woman who is in the wrong for crying throughout the entire sexual experience. If a woman is crying to manipulate her husband because she simply did not want to have sex or to make him feel bad for wanting sex when she did not then the sin lies with her.

Even a woman who suffers from true painful intercourse whether it is from a temporary condition (like some of the examples Sunny gave) or if it is from a long term chronic and un-treatable condition that causes painful intercourse might be in the wrong for crying throughout the entire experience.

The point here on a woman crying during sex is this. It is not always the man that is in the wrong when this occurs. It can sometimes be the woman who is in the wrong for crying. And in some rare cases neither neither one may be wrong in what they are doing. The husband may not be in wrong for continuing and finishing and the wife may not be in the wrong for crying.

The Practical Benefits of a Wife Enduring Painful Sex

Now I want to move from the Biblical reasons a woman should endure painful sex with her husband to the practical benefits of enduring such pain.

My wife, like many women I know, loves flowers. Each year we plant flowers in our front yard and we also get hanging baskets. These flowers need two things to survive. They need sunlight and they need water.

If they get sunlight but no water they will die. If they get water but no sunlight they will also die.

In the same way a man’s affection and his passion for his wife is fueled by two things. Sex and Respect. Sex is like water for a man’s affection and respect is like sunlight for a man’s affection. If a woman gives him both in most cases, she will find that her husband’s affection for her will be strong and healthy. If either of these are missing his affection for his wife may wane and die.

So even aside from spiritual reasons there are very practical reasons that a woman should gladly endure painful sex with her husband in order to “water” his affection for her.

Conclusion

Will you as a woman set aside your pride and unlearn the selfishness that our society has taught you? Will you be strong in the way God meant you to be and not the way the world tells you to be strong? The world tells women that for them to be strong they must stand up for themselves and stand up to men. But God tells women that they were made for men (I Corinthians 11:9) and they are to submit to their husbands in everything (Ephesians 5:24). The Bible also tells us that strength is not always demonstrated through resistance. Sometimes strength is demonstrated through joyfully exercising patience, endurance and longsuffering.
“10 That ye might walk worthy of the Lord unto all pleasing, being fruitful in every good work, and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 Strengthened with all might, according to his glorious power, unto all patience and longsuffering with joyfulness;”
Colossians 1:10-11

So, what will you do with your pain? Will you use it as a selfish excuse to hinder your husband from fully exercising the image of God in him? Will you pass your suffering on to your husband and thus hinder what God designed to be a primary driver of his affection for you?

Or will you demonstrate true Christian strength and with joy endure painful sex for the betterment of your husband and your marriage and thus fulfill one of the most important purposes for which God designed you as a woman?

The choice is yours and the consequences of your choice will be yours as well.

A Woman Should Disobey Her Husband for the Gospel

/ biblicalgenderroles / 13 Comments

The Bible tells wives in Ephesians 5:24 to be subject to their husbands “in everything”. So what is a Christian wife to do if her husband commands her not to speak of the Gospel to her children? Does God want her to obey that command?

My inspiration for this article came from a comment I recently received from a woman calling herself Alice. She had been talking about how her husband had left the Christian faith and she worried about her children:

“BGR, my husband is not requiring me to abandon my faith or church, so I do not need to do anything. I really do believe if I keep my mouth shut, God will lead him home. If he wants me to accompany him to religious services at a Buddhist temple, I will, but I do worry about the children. I do not contradict him in front of them, but I am worried because he is very vocal about his disdain for Christianity.

They are in Catholic school and he does not want them to move, but his point of view is in direct contradiction of what they are learning and I don’t know what to do. I don’t tell them privately that their father is wrong, that seems like the height of disrespect toward my husband, but I also don’t want my children thinking Christianity is wrong. I also know it is not my place to teach my husband anything spiritually, so I mostly try and steer conversations away from religion. Politics is always a good foil!”

There are three separate issues here that this Christian wife is faced with.  How does a Christian woman evangelize her unbelieving husband?  How does she evangelize her children? And should she attend the temple of false god with him? First let’s tackle how she evangelizes her husband.

Wives Should Win Their Husbands With Their Behavior, Not Their Words

The Apostle Peter wrote the following to wives whose husbands are disobedient to the Word of God (this covers both unbelieving husbands and professing Christian husbands who are disobedient):

“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.”

I Peter 3:1-2

So the Scriptures make clear that wives are not to try and win their husbands by preaching the Gospel at them but instead they are to win them by their subjection, and their pure and respectful behavior toward their husbands.

A key phrase that many people miss in I Peter 3:1 is the word “Likewise”.  What this means is the Apostle Peter is referring to another group he was just talking about.  In the previous chapter just before speaking to wives Peter speaks to slaves where he says something very similar:

“Servants, be subject to your masters with all fear; not only to the good and gentle, but also to the forward.”

I Peter 2:18

Peter was telling slaves or servants to set the example of Christ with their master’s even if their masters were cruel and made them suffer.  The point was that by setting the example of Christ they may win some of their masters by their behavior.

Is Peter saying wives are identical to slaves? No.  But what he is saying is that “likewise” or in the same way he had just told slaves be in subjection to their masters, even masters who mistreated them and caused them to suffer, so too wives are to use this approach with their husbands to try to win them to Christ.

Let’s bring this back to Alice now.   Alice is exactly right in keeping her “mouth shut” with her husband.   She needs to win him by her subjection and reverent (fearful respect) behavior. But what about her children?

God Sent A Woman Behind Her Husband’s Back

While her husband is allowing them to stay in Catholic school, he is directly contradicting everything they learn about the Christian faith. And Alice worries that she cannot go behind her husband’s back to them their father is wrong.  So what should she do? What if she did go behind his back and he found out and forbid her from sharing the truth of the Gospel with her children? How should a Christian woman in Alice’s position handle this situation?

The answer to this question can be found in two passages of the Scriptures.  The first is found in New Testament in the book of Acts.  The Apostles had been imprisoned by the Jewish High Priest for going around preaching the Gospel but the Angel of the Lord came by night and freed them and total them to continue preaching the Gospel.  The High Priests have them captured again and brought before them where the following conversation took place:

“27 And when they had brought them, they set them before the council: and the high priest asked them, 28 Saying, Did not we straitly command you that ye should not teach in this name? and, behold, ye have filled Jerusalem with your doctrine, and intend to bring this man’s blood upon us.

29 Then Peter and the other apostles answered and said, We ought to obey God rather than men.“

Acts 5:27-30

So we see here that when our earthly authority commands us to not speak the Gospel we have a higher authority in God which compels us to.  Some may argue – “Well these were men and not wives”.  There is absolutely no reason this same principle would not apply to a woman or a wife as well.

Sometimes even a wife must go against her husband for the sake of God or to save the lives of her family members from her husband’s evil actions.  For an example of this we will look to an Old Testament woman named Abigail.

In I Samuel chapter 25 we read of a man named Nabal who has a wife named Abigail. The Bible tells us he was an evil man. David and his men were in need of food and water so he sent some men to ask for help from Nabal.  Nabal rudely turned David’s men away refusing to help and asked who David thought he was to ask for such help.

David hears of this and rally’s 400 of his men to go and kill Nabal and all the men of his house.  Abigail hears of the evil her husband had done and the impending death that that was coming for all the men of her household at the hands of David and his men.

She tells the servants to get food together to go to meet David and his men.  In I Samuel 25:19 we read “But she told not her husband Nabal”.  She literally secretly went behind his back to do what was right to save her family.

She met David and told him her husband was wrong and she was going to make amends for her husband’s evil actions.  David tells her in I Samuel 25:32 – “Blessed be the Lord God of Israel, which sent thee this day to meet me”.

This was not mistake, or some sin on the part of Abigail that she needed to confess later.  God wanted her to act against her husband’s evil to save the men of her house from certain death due to her husband’s evil ways.

Again let’s bring this back to Alice and her children.  While she should remain silent directly toward her husband as I Peter 3:1-2 indicates the situation is different with her children.  Why is it different? The reason is that her children are not her authority. Notice in I Peter 2 and I Peter 3 Peter is speaking to how we speak and act toward those above us.  He tells slaves or servants to win their masters with their behavior and he says the same of wives toward their husbands.

But did this mean a slave or servant could not and should not share the Gospel with a fellow servant? Absolutely not! They have a God given obligation to do so.  In the same way a Christian mother has an obligation to share the Gospel with those who are her equals or and especially with her children who are under her care.

What about attending the Temple of a False god?

Alice made the following statement about attending a Buddhist temple with her husband:

“If he wants me to accompany him to religious services at a Buddhist temple, I will”

But this is what the Scriptures tell us:
“14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?

15 And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel? 16 And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people.

17 Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.”

2 Corinthians 6:14-17

It is one thing if your husband wants you to attend a different Christian denomination then you have been.  Perhaps you were Presbyterian and he converts to Baptist.  Then you should follow him to the Baptist church.  Or maybe you were Baptist and he converts to Presbyterian, then should follow him to the Presbyterian church.

And while I know some will disagree with me – if you were Protestant and your husband converts to Catholicism you should follow him to the Catholic Church.  Why? Then answer is found in the following Scripture passage:

“1 Beloved, believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world. 2 Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God:

3 And every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.”

I John 4:1-3

All churches have some doctrinal errors and some churches have more doctrinal errors than others.  But a Christian teacher and a Christian church is defined by one thing.  Those who confess and preach that Jesus was the Messiah, the Savior and God in the flesh are Christian churches and those who deny any part of this are not.  Period.

We can and will have strong disagreements between Christian Churches.  But we need to be very careful of ever saying someone, or a church that believes Jesus was the Messiah, the Savior and God in the flesh and died for our sins on the cross cannot be called a Christian  or a Christian church.

Conclusion

Christian wives have clear direction on how to handle an unsaved husband and father to their children.  In regard to him they should place themselves in subjection to their husband and try to win their husband not with words, but with their pure and reverent behavior.  But in regard to their children or others they may come in contact with they should follow the Abigail example of going behind their husband’s back to do what God has commanded.

They should share the Gospel with others and most importantly their children.

Abigail acknowledged her husband was wrong in a particular area, and so too a Christian mother can maintain the respect for the children’s father but at the same time teach them the godly principle that we must always “obey God rather than men”.  If anyone tells us not to tell others the Gospel, we can and must disobey such a command because God is our higher authority.

Also in following this same principle of obeying “God rather than men” I do not think a woman in Alice’s situation should attend a Buddhist, Hindu, Islamic or other non-Christian house of worship.   The Scriptures are clear when they state “And what agreement hath the temple of God with idols?…Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you.“

It is one thing if a woman’s unbelieving husband wants to live with her in peace.  The Bible tells us she should in I Corinthians 7:13 where it states “And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him“.

But she cannot go against her Lord whether it be in sharing her faith with others including her children or in attending the temple of idols.  The Scriptures are clear that we must love Christ more than our family and for a Christian wife that would include her husband:

“36 And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household.37 He that loveth father or mother more than me is not worthy of me: and he that loveth son or daughter more than me is not worthy of me. 38 And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me.”

Matthew 10:36-38

Lastly – I want to stress that this kind of situation where a wife must go behind her husband’s back as Abigail did should be the rarity.  This should be for a life and death situation and not just for any disagreement.  And the Gospel is a life and death situation.  Your children’s eternal life hangs in the balance.

What Are Your Goals as a Husband for 2019?

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As we approach the new year what do you see as areas where you see that you need to improve as a husband? In Psalm 139:23-24 “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts:  And see if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting”. Below are some suggested areas where we as husbands may need to improve.

Ten Duties of a Christian Husband

  1. Provide for Her – Ephesians 5:27-28 tells us that husbands are to “nourish” or literally provide for the physical needs of their wife as they do their own bodies. Are you providing for your wife’s needs to the best of your ability?  Remember that a man’s provision for his wife’s needs is a picture of God’s provision for his people.  If your wife is the primary provider, you are breaking the model God meant for you to display.  It is one thing if you are disabled or ran into some unforeseen financial crisis necessitating that your wife be the provider, but this should be the exception and not the norm.
  2. Protect Her– Ephesians 5:27-28 tells us that husbands are to “cherish” their wives. This does not mean what our modern “cherish” means which is to put your wife on a pedestal and worship her. It means to protect her.  God says that husbands should protect their wives as they do their own bodies.  That means we keep her safe from all kinds harm – both physical and spiritual.
  3. Discipline Her – Ephesians 5:25-27 tells husbands that they are called to wash their wives’ spiritual spots and wrinkles with the Word of God just as Christ does his Church. This is the reason men are told to give themselves up.  Many men today give up their leadership for their wife’s happiness, when God calls them to lead which sometimes requires sacrificing their own and their wife’s happiness in the process.  In Revelation 3:19 Christ speaking of himself as a husband to his churches stated “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.  No woman is perfect just as no man is perfect.  That means if you never find yourself rebuking and chastening(disciplining) your wife then you are not loving her as Christ does his Church.
  4. Teach Her– In 1 Corinthians 14:35 we read that women are to be taught in spiritual matters by their husbands in their home. Do you take an active and intentional role in teaching your wife the Word of God? This goes beyond the washing of the word for discipline.  This is taking a whole encompassing approach to teaching the whole counsel of God to your wife.
  5. Rule Over Her – In 1 Timothy 3:4 we are told that men need to rule well their own homes. Are you the ruler of your home? This is about much more than being the discipliner or even teacher of your home.   The Ruler gives a vision and sets rules and policies in the home.  Your wife needs a clear vision from you so that she can help to manage your home around that vision.  For instance, some men delegate the paying of the bills to their wives and that is ok.  But you cannot delegate your responsibility to give your wife principles and policies by which to pay the bills.  You need to set the policies for how much will be saved, how much will be given to the church or other charities and how much will be used to pay off debts.
  6. Show Her Grace – In Psalm 86:15 we are told that God is full of compassion and grace. We as men are called to image God in the lives of our wives.  Grace is unmerited favor. In marriage it means doing kind things for your wife not because she deserves it, but because in spite of the fact that she does not.  Compassion is showing sympathy for your wife’s sufferings and misfortunes even if sometimes she has brought these things on herself by her own bad decisions or wrong behavior.
  7. Show Her Mercy – In Psalm 103:8 we are told that God is plenteous in mercy and slow to anger. Mercy means not giving someone the punishment or discipline they deserve. Maybe you have no problem ruling over your wife but are you are not so plenteous in mercy and are quick to anger with your wife. God calls us to picture his mercy in our wife’s life.
  8. Know Her – In I Peter 3:7 we read that husbands are to live with their wives according to knowledge and if we don’t God will not hear our prayers as husbands. Do you take the time to know your wife? You cannot know her without speaking to her on a regular basis.  And you cannot wash her or teach her or rule over her without knowing her. If you will not hear your wife’s petitions God will not hear yours.  That does not mean we have to give our wives what they want just as God does not give us everything we ask for.  Also, knowing her is not just talking to her, but it is also having sex with her.  The Bible actually uses the same word “to know” for both knowing someone spiritually and emotionally as well as as sexually – see Genesis 4:1.
  9. Honor Her – In I Peter 3:7 we read that husbands are to honor their wives and in Ephesians 6:2 we read that children are to honor their mother. Do you show proper honor to your wife? Do you make your children honor your wife as their mother?
  10. Praise Her – In Proverbs 31:28 we read that the husband of the virtuous wife praises her and her children do as well.  Do you set the example for your children in praising your wife when she does something well? For instance, do you praise her for meals that are well cooked? Or when she redecorates the house do you notice? Do you praise her for being a good mother to your children? Do you praise her for doing well in the marriage bed? No woman is perfect and some are far less perfect than others. And we are not talking about praising her for doing nothing but breathing and taking up space.  If she is lazy in certain areas don’t praise her for things she does not do.  But many women at least do some things that are praiseworthy – do you find ways to praise your wife.

What about a husband loving his wife?

Someone might ask after reading the list above, where is the duty of a husband to love his wife?  If you read Ephesians 5:25-29 you will have your answer:

“25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. 29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church”

These ten things I have just shown are the very definition of the love of a husband toward his wife according the God’s Word.  You see the problem we have today is that we only see love in one way, and that is in one person showing affection or kindness toward another.  Now affection and kindness are certainly not bad things and husbands should show love toward their wives in these ways as well.  But the Bible never defines affection as the definition of a husband’s love toward his wife.   A husband’s love for his wife is supposed to flow from his sense of duty, it is a love based in a conscious choice of the will, not one based in emotion.

So What Are Your Goals as a Husband for 2019?

Having read each of the 10 duties above – where do you see that improvement on your part needs to be made?  Maybe you are great at ruling, disciplining and teaching your wife but you are light on the mercy and grace side? Other Christian husbands might think they are great at showing mercy and grace but what they are really doing is failing to discipline and rule over their wives.  Too much discipline and ruling(control) can lead to tyranny but too much grace and mercy can lead to dereliction of duty and apathy.

Maybe you rule well over her, discipline her and teach her but you fail to ever praise her for anything that she does well.  Or maybe you allow your children to speak to her in disrespectful ways thus failing to honor her position as your wife and the mother of your children.

Maybe you are a great provider but you never take the time to know your wife.  So because you don’t know her current struggles you cannot properly teach her or wash her with the Word.

Maybe your family is harsh and unloving toward your wife.  Do you protect your wife from nasty relatives?  Maybe you live in a dangerous area where you should have a firearm in the home to make your wife feel safer.  Maybe on the spiritual front you need to protect your wife from harmful influences from friends or relatives? Maybe you need to protect your wife from herself? Perhaps she has some self-destructive tendencies?

Here Are My Goals as Husband for 2019

To help my fellow brothers in Christ get ideas for improvement I decided to share my list for this coming year. I have asked God to search my heart and this is what I came up with.

  1. I provide for my wife (we are a bit tight right now, but I can say I work as much as I can with all my responsibilities).
  2. I protect my wife by having a fire arm (locked in a safe of course), protect her from certain family members and also protect her from herself (she some anxiety and depression issues).
  3. I discipline her in correcting and rebuking her when she disrespects me or contradicts me in front of my children or other groups. I sometimes remove some free time I would have spent with her when she really gets out of line.
  4. I teach her the Word of God on a regular basis. Sometimes she feels it is too much, but she can’t say she does not learn about many parts of the Bible from me regularly.
  5. Ruling over her is an area that has been a continual need of improvement especially in the financial area. This is an area where I have not strictly enforced our weekly and monthly budget and that is one of my goals for 2019 to get our debt under control.  Some of it we cannot help because of her medical issues but we can do better.  I also want to give more to the church this year.
  6. Grace is one that may be just right or needing a little improvement. I do show my wife a lot of grace by doing things for her despite her lack of submission and sometimes just utter contentiousness. And no I don’t just mean doing things around the house.  I mean buying her things she does not need (but just wants).
  7. I think I show her a lot of mercy. If I took my wife to task for every disrespectful word or un-submissive attitude she displayed I would be disciplining her just about every day several times a day.  Let’s just say my wife is a strong willed, critical and stubborn person many times.  And believe it or not I am the one that everybody says is easy going and very patient and forgiving.  I know my detractors won’t believe that but it is the truth.
  8. In the area of knowing her I think I do that pretty well even if she would always like more of my time to veg with her. Wednesday night is date night for us.  It just works out good that way for me with my work schedule.  We often stay home because my wife does not like to go out as much as she thinks she does(LOL).  But even when we stay home it is us spending 4 to 6 hours alone in our room just watching shows and talking.  We also talk on other nights of the week as well, but it’s not as long and not just us as we will have my children around.
  9. In the area of honoring her I think there could be some room for improvement. You have to be careful though with honor as it can become a loaded term especially for Christian feminists.  Christian feminists will say if you rebuke your wife you are dishonoring her when that contradicts what the Bible says.  But where I see need for improvement is with my children.  One of my teens (he is autistic) has a real problem with my wife and is very disrespectful to her as his step mother sometimes.  I do take him to task and punish him from time to time.  The problem is that my wife sometimes just riles him up.  Also my wife is also hyper sensitive about disrespect from my kids.  This is a running joke between her and I where I have told her “If I was as sensitive toward your disrespect of me as you are at our teens you would never hear the end of it”.   But alas – I think I could be a bit harder on the kids about this.
  10. In the area of praise, I suppose there is always room for improvement. I do praise my wife when she does cook and tell her in detail what I liked about the meal.  I also praise her when she cleans the house.  I certainly praise her when she does well in the bedroom.  But I think sometimes I miss when does nice things and forget to praise her.  The problem with my wife is that she is disabled so I end up doing a big part of the laundry and cooking and other household things.  It also affects our love life as well more sometimes than others.  So sometimes it is very hard to find anything to praise her for when she has literally just laid around for days or a week and I have done most everything.  And it is hard to find opportunities to praise her for her performance in the bedroom when nothing has happened in a while or when the last few times were just phoned in. But again, this is an area that I as her husband can always improve on.

I look forward to hearing what you as Christian husbands are struggling with and where you think you need to improve.  As the Scriptures tell us in Proverbs 27:17 “Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend”.

 

Help Spread the Message of Biblical Gender Roles in 2019

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As we approach the New Year, I just wanted to give all my readers a chance to help spread the truth of God’s Word regarding Biblical gender roles in this upcoming new year.

If you believe that our society badly needs to get back to the Bible and what God’s Word says about the distinct roles for which he made men and women I encourage you to give towards this work.

The cost of hosting this blog is not much – $100 a year.  However, the most expensive costs are ad campaigns that I buy on Facebook.  Generally, I spend $100 at a time and that will only last for two days for my target audience.  This year I am looking to expand into Instagram ads.  This is where most of the young people are at now.

I am also looking at buying some marketing tools – video applications, that will make it faster and easier for me to produce small 60 second or less adds with graphics that will attract people to the message of God’s Word.  One of these tools I am looking to purchase for the year is subscription based and is around $300 a year.

Speaking of the youth, this is really one of my burdens for 2019.  I very much want to reach young Christian men and women with the truth of God’s Word concerning Biblical gender roles and also sexuality.

The prime target audience I will be looking at this year are people ages 18-20.  And here are two reasons why:

  1. Studies show between 60 and 70 percent of High school graduates are still virgins. It is not till they reach 20 that there is a large-scale drop in people who are still virgins.
  2. As of 2017, 70 percent of young women were enrolled in college right after high school.

On this issue of sex, you will find many Christian sites that encourage abstinence and sexual purity before marriage.  As my long-time readers know, I very much agree in teaching abstinence from sex before marriage.  However, I very much disagree with the pretty much 99 percent of Christian authors and bloggers as to what is the best strategy for young people to remain pure before marriage.

This site is probably one of the 1% of Christian sites that teaches abstinence to Christian young people but at the same time teaches them they don’t have to suppress their sexuality before marriage.  They need only channel it and exercise it in positive ways that do not break God’s law.  Here they will learn how to do that.

Also speaking of sex, this site strongly encourages courtship over dating and the concept that a Christian young person should never be alone with someone that they could be tempted in any way to have sex with.

Now to the second statistic I just mentioned. You may be wondering why I listed the fact that 70 percent of young women were enrolled in college right after high school.

God did not make woman in the Garden of Eden so she could go out in the world and live for herself.  He did not create women to be explorers, engineers, soldiers, doctors, lawyers, scientists or programmers. The Scriptures tell us God created woman for man as a helper to man. And the Scriptures show us the way in which God meant women to be helpers to men.

God meant for woman together with man to help picture the relationship of God to his people with man symbolizing God in his loving leadership, provision and protection and he meant for woman to symbolize the people of God in her service and submission to her husband.  As part of this service God has given the woman the role of bearing and caring for children and caring for the domestic needs of the home.

This means as Christians we should not be happy or encouraged by the fact that 70 percent of young women have the focus of their lives being a college education and a career rather than being what God made them to be – wives and mothers.

And for young man I so very much want to encourage them.  Young men are under assault in this nation.  They are told that their God given masculine human nature is “toxic”.  The truth I present on this blog from the Scriptures is that the masculine nature rather than being toxic, is actually divine.  The masculine human nature is the very image of God and that is why God is always referred to in a masculine sense in the Bible.

I want to encourage young men to have a plan to provide for a family and know they can go out and do it.  And I want to expose the lies of our secular humanist culture that teaches if young men don’t go to college they will go nowhere in life.  The truth is the vast majority of young men are wasting their time and money if they go to college.  But you will hear the complete opposite of that in the news today.

Why? Because the vast majority of colleges and universities in America have become secularist churches.

Millions of Christian parents spend thousands of dollars each year to send their children off to these churches of secularism to be immersed in doctrines that are contrary to the Word of God.

And let me say this even as far as Christian colleges and universities go.  Even if the college or university in question is a Bible preaching and teaching institution, we must still answer the question – is it really necessary for the vast majority of young men to go?

There is a such a huge opening in this nation for various skilled trades work and work that does not require a college degree.  And the truth is that many of the jobs today that ask for a college degree don’t actually need it for the job.  The employers can only ask for it because so many young people go get a college degree now.  If a large majority of young people stopped going to college you would find many companies would be forced to open apprenticeship programs for young people just out of high school to train them in their business.  This is actually how the business world operated before the modern era.

There is no need for a liberal arts education to work in most parts of the business world.

So, what are the two biggest problems with our culture’s obsession with college and university education today? The first is that most of these institutions are simply secularist churches which indoctrinate young people in the false philosophies of secular humanism, socialism, feminism and globalism. Secondly, even if the college or university does not teach these false doctrines and even if it teaches a Biblical world view it can often be a waste of time and money for many young people and really it just delays adulthood, marriage and having children.

The Scriptures tell us this regarding giving:

“Every man according as he purposeth in his heart, so let him give; not grudgingly, or of necessity: for God loveth a cheerful giver.” 

2 Corinthians 9:7

If you want to help spread the message of God’s Word regarding Biblical gender roles and to see young people encouraged to rebuild the institution of marriage and the family the way God designed it to be – I encourage you to donate whatever you can by clicking on the link below.  You can also donate on a regular basis throughout the year from my donation page found here.

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