Sexist or Biblical? Episode 4

Itsnofunwithanervywife

Is it “sexist” for a husband to not want to be around a wife that is anxious or moody most of the time? Is wrong for a husband to seek out some type of relief for his wife’s anxiety or constant moodiness? Apparently to feminists it is.

But the Bible says this:

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

– Proverbs 21:19

Everyone woman has a bad day now and then and as husbands we need to demonstrate God’s grace in our wives’ lives during these times. But if this is the pattern of a wife, then the husband needs to bring it up and try and get his wife counseling, or medication to help her, not only for her own sake, but also for the sake of the marriage.

I can hear it now from feminists – “but men suffer from anxiety and moodiness too!” While it is true that men also can suffer from this, it is far more prevalent with women, simply because of this difference in how our brains as men and women are wired.

“Women are twice as likely to suffer from panic disorder or social phobia compared with men, and they are three times as likely to have agoraphobia (fear of being in public places). They also face a slightly higher risk for specific phobia (fear of a particular object or situation). About 10%–14% of women will have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lives, compared with 5%–6% of men. And 6.6% in women will have generalized anxiety disorder, but just 3.6% of men will.”

http://psychcentral.com/news/2006/10/06/anxiety-more-common-in-women/312.html

The truth is that most women who suffer from issues of chronic anxiety or irritability don’t realize that they do, they do see their behavior as it is. More often than not, people who suffer from chronic anxiety and irritability have convinced themselves that it’s not as often as it really is, and that they are justified by the various circumstances of life in feeling and acting the way they do. But chronic anxiety and irritability will suck the life out of any marriage and it needs to be addressed.

Husbands, as the leader of your home, God expects you to deal with this so that you can make your relationship the best it can be. Obviously you should approach this in a gentle way initially with your wife and see if she will be willing to go to counseling and perhaps get medication (if that is prescribed). But if your wife rebuffs you concerns you may need to take a more assertive approach.

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Sexist or Biblical? Episode 3

HardworkingWifeinApron

I think for most men who have not been brainwashed by our modern feminist culture to think it is demeaning for a woman to be seen as the primary caretaker of the home, we would find this flat out sexy. My wife just got a new apron and love watching her work in it. It hearkens back to a period when men were men and women were women.

Women used to see the care and upkeep of their homes as their honor, and they did not look down on it as a drudgery. We as believers in Christ need to raise the next generation to embrace God’s beautiful and distinctive design of man and woman.

Another thing I like about this ad is, it places emphasis on the fact that a woman ought to save some energy for her husband. Too often today, even women who are homemakers, act as if their job is a drudgery and when their husband gets home they say something like “ok your home, it’s your turn to take over.”

Woman have more and more modern conveniences to help them with the affairs of the home (modern ovens, washers and dryers, internet cooking classes and host of materials to help organize) – yet they seem to be able to do less with more, and few husbands are brave enough to take on this important issues of the home.

It’s not unheard of today for men to work 10 hours and then come home to then be expected to cook dinner or run out and buy it for the family. Now everyone has a bad day, and I am not saying that a husband can’t see that fact and help his wife out occasionally with the cooking or cleaning.

But if this is the norm of how a woman is managing her home for her husband, then there is something wrong and it needs to be addressed.

But on a more positive note, husbands if you have a good woman who is taking care of your home and doing these things to the best of her ability – you ought to praising her everyday! Proverbs 3:28 tells us that her husband…praiseth her. If you have not praised your wife’s cooking or upkeep of the house lately – do it today!

Proverbs31_10_11_27

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 2

MyWifeIsPrettyAndPregnant

What a sexist and horrible ad right? The eyes of Feminists are rolling. This classic ad is one that is often used to attack our supposed backward and sexist past as a nation. But if we believe the Bible is the Word of God – is this really a wrong ad?

Is wrong for a man to want his wife to be pretty,pregnant and to be happy about her duties in the home according to God’s Word? Maybe according to our modern norms it is – but maybe, just maybe, our modern norms are completely out of line with God’s design for man and woman.

When I bought a new washer and dryer for my wife 5 years ago with our new house I proudly said that I bought a new washer and dryer for her.

Now my wife was raised in a moderately feminist home, so she did not take too kindly to my statement, but it was a learning experience for her. I pointed out to her, than in no way was I saying that all she could do was laundry, as my wife is a very intelligent woman. But said to her that while I have no problem helping around the house I believe that God’s Word shows the home and the domestic work of the home is the woman’s domain, and instead of her being insulted by such a comment, she ought to be proud that I wanted her to have the best equipment to do what God had tasked her with.

Five years later, my wife knows that I have made good on my word. There have been many weeks and months that my wife was sick or had health problems, or surgeries where I took care of 100% of the laundry, dishes and cooking, and it was my honor to do so in her time of need.

I still help with some loads of laundry here and there as I see the need arise, but at the end of the day I believe my wife is fulfilling one the purposes for which God created her each and every time she does a simple load of laundry. It is not an insult, it is an honor, and more if more women were accept God’s will, and God’s design for their lives, they would happily take pride in their task of taking care of their families clothing needs.

Proverbs31_10_11_27

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 1

SexistOrBiblicalEpisode1

Teakwood Builders of Saratoga Springs, NY has sparked controversy with some feminists with it’s billboard which states “Your wife wants me” in front a new kitchen. Feminists have lined up to protest the sign on the side of the road near the sign, with one feminist sign saying “I prefer an office”.

The company says its just good fun, and in good humor.  They also make the point that women are usually the one’s who push for the purchase of new kitchens like this.

But common sense never stops feminists. Sure are there some men who would get excited over a new kitchen – yes, but we all know if most men were given the choice between having a new “man cave” or a new kitchen – which one would they choose?

From a personal perspective, my wife was very upset when the funding fell through for us to have our very old kitchen remodeled. It will be some time before we can get the funds to do this. And my wife is not naturally the “domestic” type of house wife – she is has a bachelor degree and was highly successful in her field before becoming disabled a few years ago. Having nice kitchens are very important to most women, whether they have a career or not.

What is ironic is – these feminists are actually giving this company more business by drawing attention to it’s sign.

If you live near the Saratoga Springs NY area, and need a new kitchen, I highly recommend you go to their site and contact them – http://www.teakwoodbuilders.com/contact-us

Is it Sexist or Biblical?

Is it sexist to imply the kitchen is the woman’s domain? The answer is yes and no.

Most definitions of sexism include two sides. According to the Cambridge online dictionary these are two common definitions for sexist:

“referring to women’s bodies, behavior, or feelings in a negative way:”

“a person who believes that particular jobs and activities are suitable only for women and others are suitable only for men:”

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/american-english/sexist

The Bible is definitely against speaking negatively about a woman’s body, or the distinctive way in which God has made women different from men.

But the Bible, and those who follow the Bible’s teachings and commands regarding gender, would be considered “sexist” by the second definition of sexism in that God’s Word does distinguish roles for men and women, in both the home and society at large.

The Bible says this about why God design woman and what her role was to be:

Woman was made for man, not man for woman:

“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” – I Corinthians 11:9(KJV)

Woman was made as a helper for man:

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18(KJV)

Woman was meant to be the caretaker and manager of the affairs of the home:

The primary way a woman helps her husband is by caring for and managing his children and his home while he is out providing for the family and pursuing his life’s work:

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her …She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:10-11 & 27(KJV)

“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-6(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

These are only a few passages from the Scripture, but if we examine the Scriptures as a whole we can see all throughout the Bible, women being the ones who took care of the affairs of the home, and the caring for the children.

This does not mean women are unintelligent, or that women are not capable of doing most of the jobs men do. The point is a woman was specially designed to be man’s helpmeet, and one of the largest ways she helps man is in making sure is home is organized, and a tight running ship.

Does this mean a woman’s needs to be home at all times? No. Can women help with feeding the poor or working with special events in their churches or communities? Of course they can. Christian women blog, they right books, they hold seminars at their churches to help other women. Intelligent Christian women can find many ways to channel and use their talents for God, all while keeping their central focus on their duties to their home.

So is it sexist to target kitchen ads to women?

So this brings us back full circle to the question we began with. Is it sexist(in the negative sense of the word) to target kitchen ads to women or is it Biblical? I believe based on the witness of Scripture that is in fact Biblical to do so. We need more moms in the kitchen making homemade meals for their husbands and children instead of mom bringing home pizza and McDonald’s after work each night, or throwing in microwave dinners every night.

But can’t Dad help too?

Certainly men can help cook sometimes – As a husband and father, I enjoy cooking for my family. When I do it, is usually on the weekends as I work a lot of hours during the week. But I feel that God wants a model to be shown to be my children that my wife is my helpmeet and not the other way around.

But it’s just domestic work, does God really care about such silly things as who spends the majority of their time in the home, verses outside the home?

Yes God cares. It is symbolic. Read Ephesians chapter 5. God has created marriage between a man and a woman to be a symbol of the relationship between God and man. In this relationship, the husband is a symbol of God, and the wife is a symbol of mankind. Each time a wife does the dishes, does the laundry or cooks in that brand new kitchen – she plays out that all important symbolism. That food she is cooking is not only for her husband and her children, it is also for God himself.

So Teakwood Builders of Saratoga Springs, I pray that you won’t back down and you keep those ads up. I realize you may not be doing it for religious reasons, but God can use many things for his glory and he can use this to start discussions about women and the home. God wants more men and women to honor a woman’s primary role in the care and management of the home.

 

Is it wrong for a man to be a gynecologist?

A gynecological examination.Shooting a real doctor's office

Are all men that go into gynecology secretly perverted? Should gynecology be left only to women? Do male gynecologists get turned on when they do gynecological exams? Do men have an “on and off” switches for their sexual arousal?

Previously I wrote a post reviewing an essay by Pastor Anderson of Faithful Word Baptist Church in Temple, Arizona. The full post can be found at http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/lust.html.

In part of this post, Pastor Anderson states this about male gynecologists:

“And, you know, here is an area that is not popular. It has never stopped me before. It is not going to stop me now. But here is another area that is not popular. But, you know what? Women who go to a male doctor and just disrobe in front of a male doctor. Why? Because they don’t believe that nakedness is a sin. Because he is not lusting, supposedly.

Because we all know what is going on inside his mind. He takes a polygraph detector test right before and after every visit.

“I had…my mind is as clean and pure as the driven snow.”

Yeah, right. Good night. He is a man. He is a red blooded man like anybody else. Do you know what every male gynecologist ought to do? He ought to take a scalpel and a lancet and cut out his own eye and throw it in the trash. That is what the Bible says. He ought to just remove his own eye. I am not kidding. He has got all the tools to do it. He ought to do it.”

The Facts about male gynecologists

Before I tackle the issue the morality of a man(Christian or otherwise) being a gynecologist let’s look at the facts about male gynecologists.

FACT #1

Even with half of all gynecologists now being women, most women don’t care if their gynecologist is male or female

“There has been a significant gender shift in OB-GYN over the past two decades. In 1990, 22.4 percent of all OB-GYNs were women. In 2010, nearly 49 percent were women,” Jeanne Conry, president of the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists, said in an email. She pointed to figures showing bigger changes to come: “In 1990, 49 percent of all first-year OB-GYN residents were women. In 2012, 83 percent were women.”

But that still leaves plenty of men pursuing gynecology as a profession…

70 percent of women said they had no preference when asked if they preferred a male or female gynecologist. Of the nearly 30 percent who did, the majority preferred a female gynecologist…”

http://www.thedailybeast.com/witw/articles/2013/12/09/are-male-gynecologists-creepy.html

FACT #2

Male Gynecologists admit they are sometimes sexually aroused by their patients

“Of all the specialties in med school, I was sure gynecology was the one I wouldn’t want. As a straight male, I didn’t want to ruin my love of the vagina. Years into it now, I’m never more professional than I am with a patient. The vagina is so desensitized to me, I hardly notice anything about it. But if a woman is attractive, I do have to fight that part of my brain. I’d be lying if I said otherwise. I’ve had patients legitimately hit on me — one immediately after her abortion, and another right after a pelvic exam.”

http://nymag.com/thecut/2014/09/10-men-explain-why-they-became-gynecologists.html

FACT #3

Some Male Gynecologists have sexually abused their patients

“Of 10,000 physicians surveyed, 1,891 responded and the result was that fully 9% admitted to some sexual contact with one or more patients. (Sample included 344 gynecologists.)”

http://patientmodesty.org/sexualmisconduct.aspx

ARGUMENT #1 Sexual Misconduct by Doctors

One of the most common attacks against the idea of male gynecologists is the possibility of sexual abuse. In the survey I cited above, 9% of physicians admitted to sexual conduct with patients. But we have to be careful to separate out what would be “unethical” sexual conduct, verses “criminal sexual misconduct” by a doctor. The reality is that the vast majority of sexual conduct between physicians and patients is actually consensual, even if it does violate medical ethical rules.

But from a Christian perspective, it would be wrong for man to engage in sexual conduct with any woman outside of marriage, so from our perspective we would say that 9% of physicians admitted to sexually immoral behavior with their patients(regardless of whether it was consensual or not).

While it is a sad fact of the sinfulness of man, that 9% of physicians engage in unethical and sexually immoral conduct with their patients – this means that 91% percent of physicians do NOT!

So basically we have people attacking the concept of male doctors treating female patients because of the possibility that less than one out ten of those doctors may engage in unethical or immoral behavior with their patients (and even a much smaller percent would engage in abusive behavior).

I can sympathize with women who have suffered sexual abuse at the hands of their male physician. I realize that even if less than 5% of male physicians engage in sexually abusive behavior with their patients, that makes little difference to these women – they would never see a male gynecologist ever again.

But we cannot “throw out the baby, with the bathwater”. I believe if we look at this from an objective standpoint, the sexual misconduct argument against male gynecologists does not warrant the elimination of male gynecologists.

ARGUMENT #2 Female Gynecologists

The truth is by every measure, there are more and more female gynecologists every day. Now half of the OB-GYNs in the United States are women. Even higher numbers of female OB-GYNs will be coming through medical schools over the next decade.

So why shouldn’t women, Christian or otherwise switch over to female OB-GYNs? The truth is there is a doctor shortage in this county, whether it is in the OB-GYN practice, or even just general family practice. If women started going exclusively to female physicians those doctors would be overrun and the waiting lists would be astronomical.

So yes let’s as Christians push more women to enter the medical field and become OB-GYNs so women won’t have to see male gynecologists. This would solve the problem right?

But aren’t we forgetting a very important issue from a Christian perspective?

Being a physician of any kind, whether that is an OB-GYN or some other kind of doctor, is a very demanding job. It takes almost a decade of schooling and residency with long hours and a lot of commitment for anyone to accomplish this feat.

For most female physicians, they are not even able to start a family until they are well past their prime child bearing years and even when they have children their children spend a great deal of their time being cared for and raised by people other than their mother(their father, their nanny, or other child care professionals).

Now if you are an Egalitarian or Christian feminist and therefore reject the Biblical doctrines of Gender Roles, then this is not a problem. But for those of us who believe God created men and woman for distinct and different purposes, then these commands of God’s Word would seem to discourage us from pushing more women to be doctors:

“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:4-5(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.”

Proverbs 31:27(KJV)

While the Bible does not forbid a woman from working outside the home, it does make clear that a woman’s primary place is in the service of her husband in their home caring for their children and household.

A woman cannot be in two places at once, either she will give the majority of her time and energy in service to her husband, her children and her home as God had designed her to do, or she will give the majority of her time and energy to others outside her home as she pursues her career outside the home.

So on the female gynecologist argument, I have shown that for two reasons this argument does not hold up when put under closer examination. There are not enough female physicians to service all the women that need medical care. Also from the perspective of Biblical Gender roles, we must cannot, if we accept God’s Word on the nature and design of woman, encourage more women to be OB-GYNs.

I completely realize that my argument against more female doctors could play right into the “doctor shortage” problem. If we have less women doctors, then we would have less doctors and create a larger problem. I agree that it would under the current system.

But there is an easy way to solve this problem. We need to do a better job of establishing different levels of medical caregivers. We need to encourage the training of more male physician assistants and male nurse practitioners, men who do not have to have all the training of a full a doctor. This would greatly alleviate the pressure on doctors and allow them to handle the cases that truly need a fully trained doctor.

ARGUMENT #3 Sexual Arousal

Finally we will address Pastor Dave Anderson’s argument from the point of lust.

Light switch. 3d illustration isolated on white background

Let me first say where I agree with Pastor Dave – men don’t have an “On and off” switch for sexual arousal. Many male gynecologists will privately admit they are sometimes turned on by their patients, if they find them attractive. But let’s also be honest with the fact that for every patient that is attractive to a male doctor, there will be several that are not attractive.

As I have pointed out in my previous post addressing Pastor’s Dave’s “Lust of the Eyes” essay – Sexual arousal is NOT lust. Please review that post examining the scriptures on this very crucial point. If we error by believing and teaching the false doctrine that mere sexual arousal is lust, then Pastor Dave would be right that no man should ever be a gynecologist from a Christian perspective. But if we follow Pastor Dave’s perspective, men ought to look at the ground everywhere they go, for fear of seeing a beautiful woman and becoming sexually aroused (and therefore lusting).

It is not sinful for a woman to disrobe for her physician, as Pastor Dave asserts. As long as she is not setting out to purposefully make him lust after her (as some female patients do with their doctors), then she has committed no sin by disrobing in his presence for a medical examination. Contrary to Pastor Anderson’s assertion – Nakedness is not always sinful, see my post “Why Nudity is NOT always shameful?”.

In the same way, it is not wrong for a male gynecologist to have his female patient disrobe for an examination. It is not sin for him to examine her in a medical and professional way. It is also not sin for him to be turned on by her beauty if she is attractive to him.

What is sinful, is if he either thinks of ways to get her to have sex with him outside of marriage (lustful thoughts), or he actually engages in sexual behavior with her. That is the truth of Scripture.

Conclusion

91% of gynecologists never engage in inappropriate sexual behavior with their patients. There are not enough female gynecologists to serve the needs of all the women out there. Christians should not be encouraging more woman to leave the duties of their home to be physicians. There is no sin in a woman disrobing for her male doctor, or being medically examined by him. A male gynecologist is not sinning if he is aroused by an attractive female patient in the course of his duties. The sin comes in what he does with that arousal. Based on these facts, it is not wrong for a Christian woman to see a male gynecologist, and it is not wrong for a man to be a gynecologist.

 

 

Woman raised by two lesbian parents speaks out: I missed my Dad

Children need both a father and a mother, you don’t need to be religious to understand that pure and simple fact of life. This is a great post with someone describing first hand how she felt with two lesbian moms and no dad.

WINTERY KNIGHT

Heather Barwick Heather Barwick

This is from The Federalist. Just so you know, the author is a former same-sex marriage advocate.

She writes:

Gay community, I am your daughter. My mom raised me with her same-sex partner back in the ’80s and ’90s. She and my dad were married for a little while. She knew she was gay before they got married, but things were different back then. That’s how I got here. It was complicated as you can imagine. She left him when I was two or three because she wanted a chance to be happy with someone she really loved: a woman.

My dad wasn’t a great guy, and after she left him he didn’t bother coming around anymore.

Do you remember that book, “Heather Has Two Mommies”? That was my life. My mom, her partner, and I lived in a cozy little house in the ‘burbs of a…

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Quote: Amy Poehler on Stay-at-Home Heaven

Excellent post – the conflict women face is real, and it is there by the design of God. Every time a woman violates her design by dropping her baby off at a day care center so she can pursue a more “fulfilling life” – it should bother her -because it is wrong. The most fulfilling life for a woman is the one that God designed her for, that of being a wife and mother.

It's the Women, Not the Men!

Amy Poehler, 43 - Comedian, Actress, Writer, Producer and Director.Amy Poehler, 43 – Comedian, Actress, Writer, Producer and Director.

“When you’re a stay-at-home mother you have to pretend it’s really boring, but it’s not. It’s enriching and fulfilling, and an amazing experience. And then, when you’re a working mother you have to pretend that you feel guilty all day long.”

This is the chronically conflicted world of women who think they can be a Christian feminist, The truth is that that combination of diametrically opposed lifestyles is impossible, as they are completely at odds with each other. And sadly, these women’s children are usually the losers in this conflict. kqd

Please read my related post –Stay-At-Home Heaven Vol. #3 Essay 9

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