What Wives could learn from Secretaries? Consider the relationship between a man and his female secretary, not just the actions, but the attitudes that female secretaries generally have have toward their male bosses. Then let’s compare and contrast those actions and attitudes with the actions and attitudes many wives have toward their husbands:
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| “May I get you some coffee?” | “Get you what? You have two legs and two arms – go get it yourself.” |
| “Would you like me to get you some lunch?” | “I am not your waitress, go get your own lunch.” |
| “Do you need me to pick up your dry cleaning?” | “I am not your maid, pickup your own clothes, and you could do some laundry too.” |
| “Is there any way I could assist you?” | “Help you? I am the one that needs help around here.” |
| “Is the way I did this ok, or would you like it done differently?” | “This is the way I do it, and if you don’t like it keep it to yourself.” |
The first thing that many people would say to these two lists is, the comparisons are not fair, because a secretary is an employee of her boss(and thus a paid servant of sorts) and a wife is an equal partner, not her husband’s servant.
But as we have pointed out several times in the this blog, the modern teaching that marriage is an equal partnership between a man and a woman is not found anywhere in the Bible. God, the creator of man, woman and marriage, defines marriage very differently, and equality has little to do with marriage.
God’s purpose in creating man, woman and marriage was to demonstrate his eternal qualities, and the relationship between himself and man kind.
In this symbolism, Man represents God, in his loving leadership, protection and provision qualities, while woman represents the people of God, and the attitude and actions that God’s people should have towards him.
In Ephesians 5:22-33 we have this symbolism very plainly stated by the Apostle Paul:
22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.
25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,
27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.
28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.
29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:
30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.
31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.
32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.
33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
In our modern day, if you asked most Christians if the Church was made for the glory of God, that the church should submit to Christ in everything, serve him and humbly reverence him they would say all of these things are true of the relationship between Christ and the Church.
In fact if you were to ask most people, is the Church equal to Christ, they would say – Absolutely not!
Yet if you ask many of these same Christians(including Christian feminists), these same questions about the relationship between a husband and wife the answers are very different.
“Of course a wife is equal to her husband, and marriage is a equal partnership” they say.
“A woman is not her husband’s servant!” they say.
While we are all equal in our humanity, the Bible never says men and women are equal beyond that. Especially in marriage, men and women are not equal, and the symbolism and roles within marriage from a Biblical perspective make this very plain.
So let me bring this back around to the secretary illustration I began this article with.
Do you wonder why men often are drawn to actions and attitudes of their secretaries?
No it is not because all these men are selfish and egotistical as our feminist friends would have us believe. It is because men are wired by God himself to desire to be respected and served.
Let say very clearly – I am not saying it is ever right for a man to have an affair with his secretary. Many of the men who have had affairs with their secretaries have had loving wives at home who may be respecting and serving their husbands as they ought to. But far too often, we neglect another reason why men have affairs with women who work under them.
This is explained by the fact that many times the secretary may not be as attractive as the wife. The reason is because of how the secretary gives the man the respect he so craves, and she serves him willingly, and humbly.
Again – I am not saying these are excuses for a man to have an affair with his secretary, I am only identifying a reason that is often ignored.
Conclusion
I invite Christian women to truly examine Ephesians 5 and many other Bible passages I talk about on this site.
Contrary to the false accusations that are often hurled at those Christians who believe in the gender roles as God created them, Christian men are not selfish beings looking to stomp on women.
We as Bible believing Christian men are simply seeking to live out our design, our role, and our symbolism in God’s design, or at least we should be.
The question is Christian woman, will you submit to God’s design and be willing to do the same?
Do you want your to please God and your husband as a Christian woman? Then respect him and serve him.
Biblical Gender Roles 