What Wives could learn from Secretaries

WifeSecretary

What Wives could learn from Secretaries? Consider the relationship between a man and his female secretary, not just the actions, but the attitudes that female secretaries generally have have toward their male bosses.  Then let’s compare and contrast those actions and attitudes with the actions and attitudes many wives have toward their husbands:

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“May I get you some coffee?” “Get you what? You have two legs and two arms – go get it yourself.”
“Would you like me to get you some lunch?” “I am not your waitress, go get your own lunch.”
“Do you need me to pick up your dry cleaning?” “I am not your maid, pickup your own clothes, and you could do some laundry too.”
“Is there any way I could assist you?” “Help you? I am the one that needs help around here.”
“Is the way I did this ok, or would you like it done differently?” “This is the way I do it, and if you don’t like it keep it to yourself.”

The first thing that many people would say to these two lists is, the comparisons are not fair, because a secretary is an employee of her boss(and thus a paid servant of sorts) and a wife is an equal partner, not her husband’s servant.

But as we have pointed out several times in the this blog, the modern teaching that marriage is an equal partnership between a man and a woman is not found anywhere in the Bible.  God, the creator of man, woman and marriage, defines marriage very differently, and equality has little to do with marriage.

God’s purpose in creating man, woman and marriage was to demonstrate his eternal qualities, and the relationship between himself and man kind.

In this symbolism, Man represents God, in his loving leadership, protection and provision qualities, while woman represents the people of God, and the attitude and actions that God’s people should have towards him.

In Ephesians 5:22-33 we have this symbolism very plainly stated by the Apostle Paul:

22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;

26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

28 So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself.

29 For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

30 For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones.

31 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

32 This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church.

33 Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

In our modern day, if you asked most Christians if the Church was made for the glory of God, that the church should submit to Christ in everything, serve him and humbly reverence him they would say all of these things are true of the relationship between Christ and the Church.

In fact if you were to ask most people, is the Church equal to Christ, they would say – Absolutely not!

Yet if you ask many of these same Christians(including Christian feminists), these same questions about the relationship between a husband and wife the answers are very different.

“Of course a wife is equal to her husband, and marriage is a equal partnership” they say.

“A woman is not her husband’s servant!” they say.

While we are all equal in our humanity, the Bible never says men and women are equal beyond that. Especially in marriage, men and women are not equal, and the symbolism and roles within marriage from a Biblical perspective make this very plain.

So let me bring this back around to the secretary illustration I began this article with.

Do you wonder why men often are drawn to actions and attitudes of their secretaries?

No it is not because all these men are selfish and egotistical as our feminist friends would have us believe. It is because men are wired by God himself to desire to be respected and served.

Let say very clearly – I am not saying it is ever right for a man to have an affair with his secretary. Many of the men who have had affairs with their secretaries have had loving wives at home who may be respecting and serving their husbands as they ought to.  But far too often, we neglect another reason why men have affairs with women who work under them.

This is explained by the fact that many times the secretary may not be as attractive as the wife.  The reason is because of how the secretary gives the man the respect he so craves, and she serves him willingly, and humbly.

Again – I am not saying these are excuses for a man to have an affair with his secretary, I am only identifying a reason that is often ignored.

Conclusion

I invite Christian women to truly examine Ephesians 5 and many other Bible passages I talk about on this site.

Contrary to the false accusations that are often hurled at those Christians who believe in the gender roles as God created them, Christian men are not selfish beings looking to stomp on women.

We as Bible believing Christian men are simply seeking to live out our design, our role, and our symbolism in God’s design, or at least we should be.

The question is Christian woman, will you submit to God’s design and be willing to do the same?

Do you want your to please God and your husband as a Christian woman? Then respect him and serve him.

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Ben Affleck says girls are smarter than boys – REALLY?

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There are some well read and intelligent Hollywood actors, both liberal and conservative. Ben Affleck is not one of them.  Don’t get me wrong, I usually love his films, and as an actor he is great. But as a philosopher, historian, or just someone who truly understands the facts of life and the world, lets just say he is not a good source in these areas.

In Ben’s great wisdom he is quoted in a USA today article stating the following:

“Boys, as we now know, are much slower than girls. Boys just take a while. We’re not as smart as women for many, many years. I don’t know if we ever catch up. We catch up in some ways but probably not in all of them,”

Source: http://entertainthis.usatoday.com/2014/10/09/ben-affleck-on-boys-versus-girls-were-just-not-as-smart/

Are girls sometimes smarter than boys? Absolutely. I have sons and a daughter. I know first hand from helping my kids with their school work, seeing their strengths and weaknesses(as well as their report cards) and talking to their teachers that there is definitely a difference in cognitive(intellectual) ability.

Two of my sons are very intelligent when it comes to math and science, while two of my sons struggle in these categories. My daughter comes somewhere in the middle, she still struggles in math, but not as much as two of my sons do. So in my family with 5 children, my daughter’s intelligence comes right in the middle.

But my children have different strengths, one of my son’s who struggles academically is very good with his hands and very mechanically inclined.  He can take about just about anything and put it back together. This is something that his “book smart” brothers would never be able to do.  My daughter while she struggles in math and science, excels in writing, especially creative writing.

I say all that to say this, can I take the small case study in my home, and put that as how all people are – like Ben Affleck did? Of course not!

Mr. Affleck, let’s look at the cold hard facts.

Men are superior to women in STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics)

“Psychological tests also reveal patterns of sex difference. On average, males finish faster and score higher than females on a test that requires the taker to visualize an object’s appearance after it is rotated in three dimensions. The same is true for map-reading tests, and for embedded-figures tests, which ask subjects to find a component shape hidden within a larger design. Males are over-represented in the top percentiles on college-level math tests and tend to score higher on mechanics tests than females do.”

“…males on average have a stronger drive to systemize, and females to empathize. Systemizing involves identifying the laws that govern how a system works…”

Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen, Cambridge University

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/08/opinion/08baron-cohen.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

A man’s brain is made to systemize things, to analyze, construct and explore. When we accept that God gave men some superior abilities to women in these areas then it will come as no shock that 73% percent of Computer Scientists are men.

“20 percent of bachelor’s degrees in computer science go to women, even though female graduates hold 60 percent of all bachelor’s degrees.”

Heather R. Huhman, Forbes

http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/06/20/stem-fields-and-the-gender-gap-where-are-the-women/

There are more highly intelligent men than highly intelligent women

While men and women have about the same average IQ (according to intelligence testing), men vary much more than women do. What that means is there are more men at each spectrum of intelligence than women (below average and above average). However after crossing the average intelligence threshold the amount of men who have above average IQs begins to dominate the women bringing us to the point where there are eight genius level IQ men to every one woman genius.

http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/sexdifferences.aspx

Many people try and explain away the fact that men dominate the STEM fields as simply a cultural thing that can be overcome with time.  We see commercials and books and articles telling us we have to encourage more young girls to get into the STEM fields.  But no one even considers the fact that there simply may not be as many women who are cognitively wired for these fields.

You can’t make someone more intelligent, and you can’t turn someone into a genius, either you are, or you are not.

Girls mature faster than boys

There is a difference between maturity and intelligence.  No one could argue with that fact that generally speaking, girls mature far faster than boys.  Take any 15 year old girl, and compare her to a 15 year old boy, and you will see a huge difference in maturity.

But guess what? If we understand God’s design for women as presented in the Bible, it is no shock to us that girls must mature faster than boys.

Guess why? Because up until the last 100 years or so, for the all of human history women typically became mothers by the time they reached age 15 or sooner. They had to be mature faster, they were parents at a much earlier age than boys typically were.

Since God designed women to be wives and mothers first and foremost, not business leaders, politicians, engineers and scientists, they mature much faster than boys. This also explains why most women are not generally drawn to, nor do they have the natural ability, generally speaking, to go into these fields.

Different kinds of intelligence

When we say someone is “smart” or “smarter”, what do we mean? Generally speaking we are referring to how capable they are at grasping different intellectual topics.  People can be “smart” in different ways.  Some people are creative writing geniuses, but stink at the math and science fields.  While typically the same people who excel at math and science fields are not always good in the creative and artistic fields.  So yes there are definitely different kinds of intelligence.

But are there people, who possess neither creative(or artistic) intelligence, or math and science intelligence? Absolutely. In fact that would probably describe the majority of the world’s population. That is why we pay creative and intelligent people more, and why certain fields pay so much money, because there are so few people who can do certain jobs.

But the reality is, in just about every field, whether it is a creative field, business, political, or STEM, men dominate these fields, world-wide.

Conclusion

Mr. Affleck, yes your daughters might have matured faster than your son, and someday they may be even prove to be smarter than your son, but that would be the exception, not the norm.  The world around you tells a very different story about whether boys are smarter than girls, and the verdict is all around you, intelligent and business savvy men are the norm, super intelligent and business savvy women are the exception.

In lieu of all the hate comments I might get here – no I do not think women are dumb. But I think it is dumb to say girls are smarter than boys, when that simply is not the case, and later in life the world shows otherwise.