“Should a man attempt CDD with a woman that has serious mental illness?”, “Is it ok to begin implementing CDD on my honeymoon or should I wait?” and “Is it ok to use bondage as part of CDD?” These were some of several great follow up questions that husbands emailed me after listening to my new podcast “A Husband’s Guide to Implementing Christian Domestic Discipline”.
In this follow-up podcast I answer these listener questions and several others that were sent to me. You definitely need to listen to the first 3-part guide on CDD before you listen to this podcast as this is really an add on to that.
Sadomasochism is a word used to represent two corruptions of the human nature by sin, sadism and masochism. In this article I wrote for Biblicalsexology.com, I show how sadism and masochism are actually a perversion of the God given desires of man to dominate his wife and the woman to be dominated by her husband.
The sad truth is that there are many Christian marriages, marriages built on the principles of Biblical patriarchy as well as the Biblical principles of Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD), that have fallen prey to this perversion of sadomasochism.
I have read articles elsewhere online about sadomasochism from a Christian perspective, but none of them compare and contrast the biblical practices of CDD and dominant sex with sadomasochism. In my article I clearly articulate the two styles of sex which God allows in marriage which are affectionate sex (i.e. making love) as well as dominant sex with the sinful practice of sadomasochistic sex.
Why should a Christian wife be receptive to Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) and rough sex from her husband? Where does the Bible support Christian Domestic Discipline? Where does the Bible allow men to have rough sex with their wives? What should a wife expect when her husband first implements CDD? What should she expect when he first has rough sex with her? Is there an intersection between CDD and rough sex? What are the Biblical limits for CDD and rough sex? How is CDD different from BDSM?
In this podcast, “A Wife’s Guide to Receiving Domestic Discipline and Rough Sex”, I answer all those questions that Christian wives may have about CDD and rough sex in marriage.
In this new article I wrote for BiblicalSexology.com, I tackle the common but false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 which states “Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband”. For decades, to appease our post-feminist culture, this passage has been used to teach the false doctrine of the sexual equality of husbands and wives in marriage.
In this article I prove from the original Greek language of 1 Corinthians 7:2 as well as other Scripture passages on the relationship of the husband toward his wife, that the husband and wife do NOT exclusively own one another sexually. The husband has exclusive sexual ownership over his wife, the wife does not have this over her husband. I show that this passage does not prohibit polygamy, but rather it allows it.
And I also show why the common false interpretation of 1 Corinthians 7:2 is part of a larger effort to elevate a woman’s power over her husband, something God never gave her.
At the height of the second wave feminist movement of the 1970s, the phrase “Well-behaved women seldom make history“ was coined by Harvard professor Laurel Thatcher Ulrich. She wrote the phrase while writing a little article in 1976 about funeral services and lamenting that the good that women do in society often goes unnoticed. In that article, she was not meaning to encourage women to misbehave in order to get attention.
But then her newly coined phrase “Well-behaved women seldom make history“ took on a life of its own. Feminists worldwide seized on the phrase and it went viral. It then became a rallying cry for women to rise up against “the patriarchy”.
It is true that well-behaved women seldom make it into the history books, but sometimes they do. There is a woman in the Bible whose good behavior, reverence and submission toward her husband earned her the place of being an example for all woman. And this woman’s name was Sarah.
“For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” 1 Peter 3:5-6
Ladies – even if your name is never recorded in a history book, you can make history in the lives of your children, your grandchildren and your great grandchildren. Your example of submission, service and reverence to your husband and your service to your children can make history in their lives and have a greater impact that you may ever know.
After decades of being a Christian and being a husband – whenever I hear a new Christian or a new husband or wife say that the Christian life or Christian marriage in particular is easy – I just laugh. Why do I laugh? Because anyone who says the Christian life or marriage is easy has not yet experienced the trying of their faith or their marriage.
This is why the Bible forbids churches from allowing new converts to become pastors in the church when it says they cannot be “…a novice, lest being lifted up with pride he fall into the condemnation of the devil” (1 Timothy 3:6). The Greek word translated as “novice” means “newly planted”, meaning a new convert.
The idea here is that a new Christian who has not experienced many years of the trying and testing of his faith may become conceited and lifted with pride. But it is only through the trials of life as a Christian that we gain both the humility and wisdom enough to be good teachers of the faith.
It is not easy to be the good husbands and wives or Christians that God calls us to be. It is hard. It is a constant daily struggle with our sin nature. It takes a daily recommitment to God knowing that we may have failed in our duties to God or our spouse in some way just the day before.
The Apostle Paul stated the following about his struggle with his old man, his sin nature, which warred against his new spiritual nature given him by Christ:
“… for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not. For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do… O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.” Romans 7:18-19 & 24-25 (KJV)
Being a follower of Christ and a good Christian spouse is about more than making a one-time commitment to serve God and saying “no” to our flesh. It is about so much more than mere will power. It is about daily depending on Christ and the Holy Spirit and constantly recognizing where we fail, confessing our sin, and seeking to do the good that God would have us to do.
Biblical Gender Roles 