Does your wife deny sex to you for several weeks or months at a time? Maybe it has been years. Have your been told by Pastors and counselors that this behavior on the part of your wife is your fault and that it is not a sin for her to deny you sex if she feels unattracted to you and does not desire sex with you?

In “The Seduction of Pornography and the Integrity of Christian Marriage, Part Two“, Dr. Albert Mohler, the President of the Southern Baptist convention, stated the following about sex in marriage:

“a woman has every right to expect that her husband will earn access to the marriage bed…I believe that God means for a man to be civilized, directed, and stimulated toward marital faithfulness by the fact that his wife will freely give herself to him sexually only when he presents himself as worthy of her attention and desire.”

The statement above is very appealing to our modern post-feminist world. Secularists, feminists and many Christians applauded Dr. Mohler’s statement that men must earn access to sex with their wives. And this philosophy that men must earn sex with their wives is seen in Pastor’s offices and counseling offices across America.

By this commonly held belief, if your wife is denying you sex the sin is not on her part, but rather on yours for not making yourself “worthy of her attention and desire”.

The problem is that the Bible does not teach that sex in marriage is a privilege, but instead the Bible teaches that sex in marriage is a right and duty.

The Bible says the following in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 (KJV):

“³ Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. ⁴ The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. ⁵ Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.”

The Bible does not teach that a husband and wife must mutually desire sex in order to have sex, but rather it teaches that if either one desires sex, the other must render their body to their spouse for sex. The only thing “mutual” about sex in the Bible is the mutual desire to abstain from sex for a short time of prayer and fasting.

So what is a man to do with what seems like the whole world against him in this matter of his wife denying him sex?

You can find the answers in my 2-part, 2 hour podcast series below.

8 Steps To Confronting Your Wife’s Sexual Denial

Also read my original article that inspired the podcasts above here – “8 Steps to Confronting Your Wife’s Sexual Refusal“.