It has been brought to my attention that a woman going by the name “Dana” has been attacking other Christian bloggers that support this blog falsely claiming that I am “the man who thinks it’s fine to marry off young girls as early as ten years old- just cause bleeding and boobs” and calls this blog the “Pedophile blog“.
Let me unequivocally state that this is FAKE NEWS and is more than that – it is libel.
Anyone can examine my writings and you will NEVER see me advocating for women to marry at age 10. Here is an excerpt from a previous post I wrote entitled “Women’s ovaries don’t agree with Feminism” that Dana has twisted and maligned into trying to say I said something I did not:
“We hear people say things like, “we have to let children be children”, which basically means that our children have little to no real life responsibility until they reach 18, besides keeping up with their schooling in most cases. Even then we extend the childhood years with college, where they can party and have more fun for about 4 years before they graduate at 22 and are forced for the first time in their life to take on the full responsibilities of being an adult.
In pre-modern times, the idea of a child hood experience with absolutely no responsibility was a very short period. By the time children were 6 or 7 they were being taught the realities of life.
Boys hunted with their dads at a very young age, and girls learned to cook and make clothing at a very young age. By the time most children reached the age of 10, they knew what a hard day’s work was, the boys knew about hunting, farming and fighting, and the girls knew about caring for infants (helping their mother, or cousins or aunts) and they had seen many births. These girls were excited about the day when they would have their first period, and they were excited about when they would be able to marry and have children (usually around 13 or 14).”
So as anyone can clearly see I was having a discussion about the fact that children in premodern times had to grow up and take responsibilities in life far earlier than what we have children do today. In many families we don’t make our children take responsibilities for their lives until they are in their early 20’s.
I talked about by “the age of 10” that boys had been learning hunting, fishing and farming and girls knew about caring for infants and had seen many births by that point. And yes these young 10 year old girls were looking forward to in just a few years them being betrothed and being married. These were the priorities they were raised with.
But notice I did NOT say these girls were married at 10, but “usually around 13 or 14“.
So no never once on this blog have I ever advocated for 10-year-olds to be married.
What if a Girl has her First Period at 10 or Younger?
This is the logic Dana and perhaps some others have been following. They reason that if I think that girls should be automatically married after their first period then what if she has her first period at 9 or 10 or even some girls might have it earlier?
The answer is that a girl’s first period was only ONE indicator of her being of allowable age for marriage. If you look at previous articles I have written I have said these are all factors for deciding at what age a girl may marry:
- Ezekial 16:7-8 indicates that the girl must have outward indicators of puberty such as developed breasts and pubic hair to indicate it is “the time of love for her”. In fact, in Song of Solomon 8:8 it seems to indicate that if a woman had no breasts it would be difficult to get a man to marry her.
- I Corinthians 7:36 uses the phrase “ if she pass the flower of her age” which is a reference to her having her first period(that she is literally “ripe”).
- Exodus 22:16-17 indicates that a woman’s father has the final say over when and who she will marry.
So it is not just one of these three factors that allows a girl to be married – it is ALL three. Most girls do not start their periods until around age 12 and even if they do start earlier they have not developed breasts and pubic hair by that point.
But let’s say some girl is a miracle of nature and she has fully developed breasts, pubic hair and had her first period at age 10. We still then have the discretion of the father in this case. I have mentioned on more than one occasion that the Jewish tradition outside the Bible held that the minimum age for a girl to be married no matter what her physical condition was age 12 and I agree with that.
I even mentioned at the time I wrote some of these articles that my daughter was 12 and I could not imagine allowing her to marry at that point because of the culture she and I was raised in and she was not ready for it. I mentioned that perhaps by the time she was 15 or 16 if the perfect man came along that could provide for her and he was a good Christian man of good character I would consider allowing her to marry. Realistically I doubt that will happen even as she approaches her 16th birthday next year.
But NEVER ONCE I have ever advocated on this blog for girls to be married off when they are 10 years old!
So Dana and others at least if you are going to attack me or other bloggers who support this ministry please do so based on what I have actually said without twisting my words.
And just for those who will say “Even if you are saying girls should wait till 13 or 14 to marry that still makes you a pedophile!” let me say this. Let me educate you a bit.
Moving the Goal Posts on Childhood
Our culture has moved the boundaries God has set in many areas. We now are told that a person’s gender is not determined by their actual biological sex characteristics but by whatever they feel they want to be. In fact we are hearing people say they are “non-binary” as in neither gender. I even heard on the news the other night that a white man wanted to be identified as a Filipino woman and they are labeling it “transracial“.
This is what you get when you base your society on the shifting sands of feelings and not the truth of God’s Word.
In this area of childhood we are no different. We decided to move the goal posts on childhood. In times past a boy became a man at age 13 and most women became a woman at age 12 or it may have been LATER than 12 if her first period was delayed. Although boys became men at 13 they did not usually marry until between the ages of 18 and 20 as they had to be able to support a bride.
With that being said let me educate you on a few words:
Pedophilia – sexual attraction of those older than 19 to those under the age of 11.
Hebephilia – sexual attraction of those older than 19 to those 11 to 14.
Ephebophilia – sexual attraction of those older than 19 to those 15 to 19.
Before recent decades Pedophilia used to refer to adults that had attractions to prepubescent children which is something the Bible would also condemn as it does not allow children by this definition to marry.
But over the last few decades we moved the goal posts on the definition of Pedophilia to mean a person who is 18 or older finding young adults(those who have experienced the changes of puberty) attractive or wishing to date them.
We also set artificial age boundaries based on a modern principle of “mutuality” which we are told we must apply to relationships between men and women. What this means is if an 18 year old is attracted to say a 16 year old we will tolerate that as a society. But if a 28 year old is attracted to a 16 year old our society calls that “disgusting” and “creepy”. But the reason we call it “disgusting” and “creepy” has nothing to do with logic or men’s biology or psychology. It all has to do with women now taking over the narrative on what men should want in a woman.
According to women – men should only want women that are near their same age so they can have a “mutual” relationship with a woman who has shared the same life experience. We are told that if a woman marries a man that it is significantly older(such as a decade or more) that it is like she is marry her father and that is creepy.
The fact is that this whole “mutuality” concept is built on the modern partnership style of marriage and not the Biblical patriarchy style of marriage. In Biblical patriarchal marriage the husband much more resembles the woman’s father than her partner. In fact he has MORE power and responsibilities toward her than her father did. The father’s molding and shaping of his daughter is temporary in preparing her for her husband who will be the one who molds her for life.
With all that being said – this is why those Christian families today that still believe in Biblical patriarchal marriage strongly encourage their daughters to marry men that are at least 5 to 10 years older than them. It is also why they encourage women to marry young. This makes it easier for the woman to respect her husband and it makes it easier for him to mold her into the wife he wants her to be.
But contrary to the artificial constraints that women have put on men over the last half century, the fact is men have always been attracted to youth and beauty. It is built into the masculine nature for a variety of reasons one of which is the continuation of our species. The older a woman is, the less fertile she is and the younger she is(within puberty of course) the more fertile she is. The entire point of my post “Women’s Ovaries don’t agree with feminism” was this point about fertility:
“The biological reality that female fertility peaks in the teens and early 20s can be difficult for many American women to swallow, as they delay childbirth further every year, according to the National Center for Health Statistics. “
The cold hard fact that confronts our feminist society is that women’s ovaries don’t agree with feminism. Also a woman’s ovaries do not agree with our new definition of childhood, our concept of “mutuality” or with feminist ideals that women should be educated and have careers and then have children much later in life.
And do you know why a woman’s ovaries don’t agree with feminism or our new definitions of childhood? Because the one who created women and their ovaries along with the rest of their bodies doesn’t agree.
To my fellow Christian bloggers let me just end with this passage that gives me great comfort on a daily basis as I endure attacks simply because I am teaching what God says about the distinct reasons for which he created men and women:
“11 Blessed are ye, when men shall revile you, and persecute you, and shall say all manner of evil against you falsely, for my sake. 12 Rejoice, and be exceeding glad: for great is your reward in heaven: for so persecuted they the prophets which were before you.”
Matthew 5:11-12 (KJV)