My son and daughter-in-law just gave my wife and I another grandchild, a son. Would anyone have thought to cook up a steak and give that to my grandson for his first meal? Of course not!  Does that mean steak is a bad thing? Not at all.  I love steak and most people love steak.  But steak is not for infants.  Infants need milk, they cannot tolerate solid food.

In the same way, we as believers need to be careful when it comes to Biblical doctrines, even the doctrines of the Bible concerning gender roles, that we approach new believers with care.  We need to make sure, first and foremost that they are true believers, then secondly that they are grounded in the basics of the faith.

The Bible says in Hebrews 5:13-14 (KJV):

^“For every one that useth milk is unskilful in the word of righteousness: for he is a babe.

But strong meat belongeth to them that are of full age, even those who by reason of use have their senses exercised to discern both good and evil.”

And again in 1 Corinthians 3:2 (KJV):

“I have fed you with milk, and not with meat: for hitherto ye were not able to bear it, neither yet now are ye able.”

He teaches us that when someone is a new believer, we need to make sure that they can fully digest milk – aka that they fully understand and comprehend the Gospel and how it applies to their daily life.  That they understand the need listen to the Holy Spirit of God as they live their daily lives and how to heed the spirit’s call when he prompts them through his Word to make changes in their lives.

It is only then that they are able to move on to the meat of the Word, including things like church structure, prophecy and yes gender roles which are all the meat of the Word.

Now to be sure – the Apostle does not want believers to remain stagnant in their growth the same way we would not think it good for a 5-year-old to still be drinking only milk. In Hebrews we see the frustration of the author with Christians who were not growing in their faith:

“For when for the time ye ought to be teachers, ye have need that one teach you again which be the first principles of the oracles of God; and are become such as have need of milk, and not of strong meat”   

Hebrews 5:12 (KJV)

And the Apostle Paul says in 1 Corinthians 3:3 (KJV) why he is still continuing to have to give these Christians milk:

“For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?”

These were Christians who were not growing as they should past the basics of the faith – being the Gospel, prayer and living by Spirit.  They were still acting in some ways like unbelievers.

Even when it came to unbelievers, Paul first sought to give them the milk of the Gospel and not the meat of the Word which he reserved for mature believers.

In 1 Corinthians 9:19-23 (KJV):

^“19 For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all, that I might gain the more.

²⁰ And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law;

²¹ To them that are without law, as without law, (being not without law to God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law.

²² To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the weak: I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.

²³ And this I do for the gospel’s sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you.”

For the sake of the Gospel and to “save some” Paul met people where they were.   And that is what we must do as mature believers.  Meet people where they are so perhaps they may accept the Gospel and be saved.

Anyone who has been a reader of my blog and listener of my podcasts knows the passion and burden God has given me to restore the lost doctrines of gender roles to our society.

But when we are dealing with people on an individual level, which is what Paul was speaking to in 1 Corinthians 9:19-23, we need to approach them where they are.  If we are sure they are a Christian and truly understand the Gospel and its application not just for their eternal destiny, but also their daily life, then yes, we need to gently prod them on to the meat of the Word, including the crucial doctrines of gender roles.

This is not to say, that the Biblical doctrines of gender roles may never be mentioned before someone is a believer.   There is a very natural progression from Ephesian’s 5:25-29’s discussion of husband’s loving their wives as Christ does the church straight to the Gospel.

For example, I have had many opportunities in my life to share the Gospel with coworkers who were struggling in their marriages and asking what I thought.  And I would share with them that as a Christians our love for our spouse is not based upon feelings but based upon Christ’s love for us.  And I could share with them how husbands are to love their wives as Christ sacrificially loved his wife and gave himself on the cross for her.  And then explain to them why he had to make that sacrifice – that we all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God but because God loves us (as husbands are to love their wives) that he made a way for us to be saved.

Many times, on this blog and in my podcasts I have said that someone could believe in and practice biblical gender roles and go straight to hell.  Following Biblical gender roles will not save you.  Only belief in the Gospel will.

The Gospel according to 1 Corinthians 15:3-4 is “that Christ died for our sins according to the scriptures; and that he was buried, and that he rose again the third day according to the scriptures”. 

This is why, while I have discussed the existence of other patriarchists including secular, Jewish, Muslim and others, I will not engage in joint efforts with them to promote patriarchy in society. And when these non-Christian patriarchists approach me to do joint efforts with them to promote patriarchy in society, I routinely turn down such requests telling them “I believe in Christian patriarchy and no other kind of patriarchy”.   And the Scriptures are clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14 (KJV) that as believers that we are not to be “unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness?”

Can Someone Be Saved and Reject Biblical Gender Roles?

Yes. If we say otherwise, then we are adding to the Gospel and denying the very concept of a carnal believer that Paul speaks to in 1 Corinthians 3:3.  It is possible for believers, saved people, to be immature or even for mature believers to be blinded to certain truths in God’s Word.   If we say otherwise, then we are adding to the Gospel.

But I will repeat this statement I have also made for many years. 

There is a difference between a person being saved and a person being a Christian.   

A person is saved by believing the Gospel and applying it to their lives – this is what the Scriptures call a “babe” in Christ. 

A Christian is a saved person who is also a Christ follower.  They are a person who seeks to follow the teachings of Christ and Christ taught us in Matthew 4:4(KJV) that we are to live  “by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God”.  That means as saved persons, we are called to live by the Bible, the entire Bible and not just the parts we like or the parts that fit our culture.

While I certainly believe there is room for debate on the application of biblical gender roles to particular situations, there is no room for debate that God has indeed established gender roles in this world.  

The Scriptures are crystal clear on this matter – God has established a hierarchy in this world.

1 Corinthians 11:3 (KJV) states:

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.”

For all my disagreements with Complementarianism, I can say at least that they do not deny male headship in the church and the home even if their version of headship in the home is often watered down.  For this reason, I regard Complementarians as fellow Christians alongside Biblical Patriarchists.  But I do not regard Egalitarians, who completely deny male headship over women as true Christians.

Could an Egalitarian be saved? Sure.  But they will only be saved “so as by fire”:

“11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. 12 Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble; 13 Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is. 14 If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. 15 If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.”

1 Corinthians 3:11-15 (KJV)

Egalitarians are not building correctly on the foundation of the Gospel of Christ. By allowing female pastors and denying the husband’s headship over the wife, they are refusing to follow God’s building instructions and abide by biblical gender roles in their lives.  Their works will be burned up in the judgement, but they will still “be saved; yet so as by fire”.

Conclusion

The Bible says in Proverbs 29:11(KJV) “A fool uttereth all his mind: but a wise man keepeth it in till afterwards”.  And I must confess, as a believer for more than 40 years, that sometimes I have been the fool who “uttereth all his mind” and I have forgotten the basic truth that Paul taught us to meet unbelievers and infant Christians where they are – to give them the milk of the Gospel and make sure they have fully digested that before giving them the meat of biblical gender roles.

It is only after we have seen the firm foundation of Christ and the Gospel in someone’s life, that we can then teach them to build upon the foundation – which includes holy living and the doctrines of gender roles.

The Bible calls the Gospel “glorious” in 1 Timothy 1:11 and one of the ways we bring God glory in this life is by sharing the Gospel as we are commanded to do in Mark 16:15. But this is not the only way that God intended for us to bring him glory.  In fact, it was not even the first way in which God created us to bring him glory.

In 1 Corinthians 11:7(KJV), the Bible tells us the first way God intended for us to bring him glory, the way we were meant to bring him glory even before the fall of man:

“For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and GLORY of God: but the woman is the GLORY of the man.”

God created man to image him and thereby bring him glory.  He created man to live out his masculine attributes – to be a leader, provider and protector as God is and when a man does these things he pictures God and brings him glory.   This is why God’s titles are masculine – Father, Son, King and not Mother, Daughter and Queen.  This is why Christ came as a man and not as a woman.

And God created a “weaker” (1 Peter 3:7) version of his image in woman so that man would have someone to lead, provide for and protect.   When a woman depends on her husband for his leadership, provision and protection and when she reveres him and submits to him she brings him glory and thereby brings God glory.