Why should a Christian wife be receptive to Christian Domestic Discipline (CDD) and rough sex from her husband? Where does the Bible support Christian Domestic Discipline? Where does the Bible allow men to have rough sex with their wives? What should a wife expect when her husband first implements CDD? What should she expect when he first has rough sex with her? Is there an intersection between CDD and rough sex? What are the Biblical limits for CDD and rough sex? How is CDD different from BDSM?
In this podcast, “A Wife’s Guide to Receiving Domestic Discipline and Rough Sex”, I answer all those questions that Christian wives may have about CDD and rough sex in marriage.
We are told in Ephesians 5:25 that husbands are to love their wives “even as Christ also loved the church” and in Revelation 3:19 Christ after rebuking his churches says “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”. This shows us as Christian husbands that an indispensable part of us loving our wives as Christ loves his church is that we rebuke and discipline our wives.
A husband who will not rebuke or discipline his wife for sinful behavior is no better than a parent who will not rebuke and discipline their child for sinful behavior.
And no, a husband disciplining his wife is not him treating his wife as a child, it is him treating his wife as a woman and women are under the authority of men in God’s order. And no, God does not recognize the modern invention of the “adult” social class. So, the notion we hear so often in churches that “he is an “adult” and responsible for himself before God and she is an “adult” and responsible for herself before God” is completely unbiblical. The humanist invention of the “adult” social class is a perversion and attempt to give women the same rights, responsibilities and privileges as men, something God never did.
For more details on the how a husband can go about disciplining his wife in a way which follows Biblical principles for discipline see my article “7 Ways To Discipline Your Wife“.
In Ephesians 4:26 the Bible tells us “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” but in Colossians 3:19 the Bible also states “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”. As husbands it should anger us when our wives’ disrespect or disobey us or when they shame us in front our children or others. It should anger us when our wives’ habitually and consistently sexually deny us. Our masculine natures were designed by God to desire respect and submission from our wives as he desires respect and submission from his people. Our anger at these sorts of behaviors in our wives is not only righteous, but it is an expression of the masculine image of God within us.
However, our flesh wants to convert that righteous anger into bitterness which is sin. Bitterness is holding a grudge and being resentful.
Thankfully the Bible tell us how to stop righteous anger from turning into sinful bitterness and that is to “let not the sun go down upon your wrath”. Don’t hold on to it. If your anger truly is righteous based on your wife’s sinful behavior, then confront that behavior there and then. Do as Christ does with his church in Revelation 3:19 and “rebuke and chasten” your wife. Then let go of your anger.