In Ephesians 4:26 the Bible tells us “Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath” but in Colossians 3:19 the Bible also states “Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them”. As husbands it should anger us when our wives’ disrespect or disobey us or when they shame us in front our children or others. It should anger us when our wives’ habitually and consistently sexually deny us. Our masculine natures were designed by God to desire respect and submission from our wives as he desires respect and submission from his people. Our anger at these sorts of behaviors in our wives is not only righteous, but it is an expression of the masculine image of God within us.
However, our flesh wants to convert that righteous anger into bitterness which is sin. Bitterness is holding a grudge and being resentful.
Thankfully the Bible tell us how to stop righteous anger from turning into sinful bitterness and that is to “let not the sun go down upon your wrath”. Don’t hold on to it. If your anger truly is righteous based on your wife’s sinful behavior, then confront that behavior there and then. Do as Christ does with his church in Revelation 3:19 and “rebuke and chasten” your wife. Then let go of your anger.