How to help women learn their place

Women do not know or accept their place in God’s creation anymore. “A woman’s place is in the home” is just one of many truths that our society derides and mocks. “to ‘love, honor and obey’” has been stripped from most marriage vows as women no longer believe they must obey their husbands or be in subjection to their husbands as Sarah who called her husband “lord”(I Peter 3:5-6).

Feminism has been largely successful in eradicating the femininity that women once had. Churches have for the most part abandoned the practice of teaching Biblical gender roles that God has commanded for men and women.

We have women saying things in the wrong place or in the wrong way. Women showing no deference or respect toward men. Daughters showing little to no respect for their fathers and wives showing little to no respect for their husbands. Wives routinely shame their husbands in public not to mention in private. Daughters disobey their fathers and wives routinely disobey their husbands with impunity. Many women pursue selfish career ambitions instead of being ambitious for marriage, child bearing and homemaking.

We as Christians can turn this around by having the courage to speak the truth of God’s Word even if our world does not want to hear it. We need to show our young ladies from the Word of God what it truly means to be a woman of God.

The most important people in this endeavor are first fathers, then mothers and finally Pastors and teachers in our local churches. Fathers need to teach their daughters what it means to be Godly women and this needs to be enforced by their mothers and further enforced by church leaders.

My teenage daughter has been asking me for some time to put together a guide with Scripture passages that she can commit to memory as she shares these truths with other young girls she attends school with.  She looks forward to one day being the wife and mother that God designed her to be. This is dedicated to you my daughter! I love you.

Below are several Bible passages that teach women how God wants them to conduct their lives.

Her speech

She is not loud or boisterous but instead she is quiet and meek

“A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing.” – Proverbs 9:13 (KJV)

“But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” – I Peter 3:3-4 (KJV)

She is not a gossip but rather she is a trustworthy confident

“And withal they learn to be idle, wandering about from house to house; and not only idle, but tattlers also and busybodies, speaking things which they ought not.” – I Timothy 5:13 (KJV)

“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil.” – Proverbs 31:11 (KJV)

She knows when and where to speak and when to hold her tongue

“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” – Proverbs 11:22 (KJV)

When she does speak she does so in a wise and kind manner

“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” – Proverbs 31:26 (KJV)

Her ambitions

She is ambitious to be a wife, mother and homemaker

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)

When she has a home she is ambitious toward the care of it and is never lazy or idle

“She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens…

She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:15 & 27 (KJV)

When she has children she is ambitious to be joyful in her care of them

“He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the Lord.” – Psalm 113:9 (KJV)

Her love

She shows compassion and empathy towards those in need around her

“She stretcheth out her hand to the poor; yea, she reacheth forth her hands to the needy.” – Proverbs 31:20 (KJV)

Second only to God, a woman’s greatest love and affection is reserved for her husband and her children

“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children” – Titus 2:4 (KJV)

Her sexuality

She protects her virginity for marriage and does not manipulate men with her sexuality

“For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adultress will hunt for the precious life.” – Proverbs 6:26 (KJV)

“Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.” – Hebrews 13:4 (KJV)

In marriage she ravishes her husband with her body and she never defrauds him

“18 Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.

19 Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” – Proverbs 5:18-19 (KJV)

“4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.

5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” – I Corinthians 7:4-5 (KJV)

Her appearance

She dresses in a way that never places her femininity in doubt

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” – Deuteronomy 22:5 (KJV)

She dresses appropriate to the occasion (modestly)

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;” – I Timothy 2:9 (KJV)

She cares for her beauty knowing that her husband desires it as God desires the beauty of his church

“So shall the king greatly desire thy beauty: for he is thy Lord; and worship thou him.” – Psalm 45:11 (KJV)

“How fair and how pleasant art thou, O love, for delights!” – Song of Solomon 7:6 (KJV)

Her submission

She has a submissive spirit as opposed to a contentious spirit

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” – Proverbs 21:19 (KJV)

She embraces patriarchy (male authority over women) in the home, the Church and in society

“5 But if her father disallow her in the day that he heareth; not any of her vows, or of her bonds wherewith she hath bound her soul, shall stand: and the Lord shall forgive her, because her father disallowed her.” – Numbers 30:5 (KJV)

“22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.

24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:22-24 (KJV)

“11 Let the woman learn in silence with all subjection.

12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.” – I Timothy 2:11-12 (KJV)

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God.” – I Corinthians 11:3 (KJV)

Her dependence

She looks to her father and later her husband for her provision

“For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church” – Ephesians 5:29 (KJV)

She embraces that fact that God has placed her in “the weaker vessel” and that she needs the protection of men

“Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.” – I Peter 3:7

She looks to her father and later her husband for her spiritual guidance

“And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” – I Corinthians 14:35 (KJV)

Her place

She embraces the fact that God made her to be the helper to her husband, not him to be her helper

“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” – I Corinthians 11:9 (KJV)

She sees her husband as her master and not her equal partner

“5 For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands:

6 Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” – I Peter 3:5-6 (KJV)

Her methods of persuasion

She does not nag her husband into doing what is right

“A continual dropping in a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike.” – Proverbs 27:15 (KJV)

She wins her husband by her righteous behavior toward him in spite of his failings

“1 Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;

2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.” – I Peter 3:1-2 (KJV)

Her reverence for her husband

She never makes her husband ashamed, but rather she brings him honor

“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” – Proverbs 12:4 (KJV)

She reverences her husband’s position despite the flaws of his person

“Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33 (KJV)

Her Influence

She influences and teaches other women to be good wives and mothers

“3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:3-5(KJV)

Her legacy

She realizes that her greatest legacy is built by what she does in her home and not what she does outside her home

“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” – Proverbs 14:1 (KJV)

“Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.” – Proverbs 31:28 (KJV)

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 4

Itsnofunwithanervywife

Is it “sexist” for a husband to not want to be around a wife that is anxious or moody most of the time? Is wrong for a husband to seek out some type of relief for his wife’s anxiety or constant moodiness? Apparently to feminists it is.

But the Bible says this:

“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.”

– Proverbs 21:19

Everyone woman has a bad day now and then and as husbands we need to demonstrate God’s grace in our wives’ lives during these times. But if this is the pattern of a wife, then the husband needs to bring it up and try and get his wife counseling, or medication to help her, not only for her own sake, but also for the sake of the marriage.

I can hear it now from feminists – “but men suffer from anxiety and moodiness too!” While it is true that men also can suffer from this, it is far more prevalent with women, simply because of this difference in how our brains as men and women are wired.

“Women are twice as likely to suffer from panic disorder or social phobia compared with men, and they are three times as likely to have agoraphobia (fear of being in public places). They also face a slightly higher risk for specific phobia (fear of a particular object or situation). About 10%–14% of women will have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lives, compared with 5%–6% of men. And 6.6% in women will have generalized anxiety disorder, but just 3.6% of men will.”

http://psychcentral.com/news/2006/10/06/anxiety-more-common-in-women/312.html

The truth is that most women who suffer from issues of chronic anxiety or irritability don’t realize that they do, they do see their behavior as it is. More often than not, people who suffer from chronic anxiety and irritability have convinced themselves that it’s not as often as it really is, and that they are justified by the various circumstances of life in feeling and acting the way they do. But chronic anxiety and irritability will suck the life out of any marriage and it needs to be addressed.

Husbands, as the leader of your home, God expects you to deal with this so that you can make your relationship the best it can be. Obviously you should approach this in a gentle way initially with your wife and see if she will be willing to go to counseling and perhaps get medication (if that is prescribed). But if your wife rebuffs you concerns you may need to take a more assertive approach.

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 2

MyWifeIsPrettyAndPregnant

What a sexist and horrible ad right? The eyes of Feminists are rolling. This classic ad is one that is often used to attack our supposed backward and sexist past as a nation. But if we believe the Bible is the Word of God – is this really a wrong ad?

Is wrong for a man to want his wife to be pretty,pregnant and to be happy about her duties in the home according to God’s Word? Maybe according to our modern norms it is – but maybe, just maybe, our modern norms are completely out of line with God’s design for man and woman.

When I bought a new washer and dryer for my wife 5 years ago with our new house I proudly said that I bought a new washer and dryer for her.

Now my wife was raised in a moderately feminist home, so she did not take too kindly to my statement, but it was a learning experience for her. I pointed out to her, than in no way was I saying that all she could do was laundry, as my wife is a very intelligent woman. But said to her that while I have no problem helping around the house I believe that God’s Word shows the home and the domestic work of the home is the woman’s domain, and instead of her being insulted by such a comment, she ought to be proud that I wanted her to have the best equipment to do what God had tasked her with.

Five years later, my wife knows that I have made good on my word. There have been many weeks and months that my wife was sick or had health problems, or surgeries where I took care of 100% of the laundry, dishes and cooking, and it was my honor to do so in her time of need.

I still help with some loads of laundry here and there as I see the need arise, but at the end of the day I believe my wife is fulfilling one the purposes for which God created her each and every time she does a simple load of laundry. It is not an insult, it is an honor, and more if more women were accept God’s will, and God’s design for their lives, they would happily take pride in their task of taking care of their families clothing needs.

Proverbs31_10_11_27

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 1

SexistOrBiblicalEpisode1

Teakwood Builders of Saratoga Springs, NY has sparked controversy with some feminists with it’s billboard which states “Your wife wants me” in front a new kitchen. Feminists have lined up to protest the sign on the side of the road near the sign, with one feminist sign saying “I prefer an office”.

The company says its just good fun, and in good humor.  They also make the point that women are usually the one’s who push for the purchase of new kitchens like this.

But common sense never stops feminists. Sure are there some men who would get excited over a new kitchen – yes, but we all know if most men were given the choice between having a new “man cave” or a new kitchen – which one would they choose?

From a personal perspective, my wife was very upset when the funding fell through for us to have our very old kitchen remodeled. It will be some time before we can get the funds to do this. And my wife is not naturally the “domestic” type of house wife – she is has a bachelor degree and was highly successful in her field before becoming disabled a few years ago. Having nice kitchens are very important to most women, whether they have a career or not.

What is ironic is – these feminists are actually giving this company more business by drawing attention to it’s sign.

If you live near the Saratoga Springs NY area, and need a new kitchen, I highly recommend you go to their site and contact them – http://www.teakwoodbuilders.com/contact-us

Is it Sexist or Biblical?

Is it sexist to imply the kitchen is the woman’s domain? The answer is yes and no.

Most definitions of sexism include two sides. According to the Cambridge online dictionary these are two common definitions for sexist:

“referring to women’s bodies, behavior, or feelings in a negative way:”

“a person who believes that particular jobs and activities are suitable only for women and others are suitable only for men:”

http://dictionary.cambridge.org/us/dictionary/american-english/sexist

The Bible is definitely against speaking negatively about a woman’s body, or the distinctive way in which God has made women different from men.

But the Bible, and those who follow the Bible’s teachings and commands regarding gender, would be considered “sexist” by the second definition of sexism in that God’s Word does distinguish roles for men and women, in both the home and society at large.

The Bible says this about why God design woman and what her role was to be:

Woman was made for man, not man for woman:

“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” – I Corinthians 11:9(KJV)

Woman was made as a helper for man:

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18(KJV)

Woman was meant to be the caretaker and manager of the affairs of the home:

The primary way a woman helps her husband is by caring for and managing his children and his home while he is out providing for the family and pursuing his life’s work:

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her …She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:10-11 & 27(KJV)

“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” Titus 2:4-6(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

These are only a few passages from the Scripture, but if we examine the Scriptures as a whole we can see all throughout the Bible, women being the ones who took care of the affairs of the home, and the caring for the children.

This does not mean women are unintelligent, or that women are not capable of doing most of the jobs men do. The point is a woman was specially designed to be man’s helpmeet, and one of the largest ways she helps man is in making sure is home is organized, and a tight running ship.

Does this mean a woman’s needs to be home at all times? No. Can women help with feeding the poor or working with special events in their churches or communities? Of course they can. Christian women blog, they right books, they hold seminars at their churches to help other women. Intelligent Christian women can find many ways to channel and use their talents for God, all while keeping their central focus on their duties to their home.

So is it sexist to target kitchen ads to women?

So this brings us back full circle to the question we began with. Is it sexist(in the negative sense of the word) to target kitchen ads to women or is it Biblical? I believe based on the witness of Scripture that is in fact Biblical to do so. We need more moms in the kitchen making homemade meals for their husbands and children instead of mom bringing home pizza and McDonald’s after work each night, or throwing in microwave dinners every night.

But can’t Dad help too?

Certainly men can help cook sometimes – As a husband and father, I enjoy cooking for my family. When I do it, is usually on the weekends as I work a lot of hours during the week. But I feel that God wants a model to be shown to be my children that my wife is my helpmeet and not the other way around.

But it’s just domestic work, does God really care about such silly things as who spends the majority of their time in the home, verses outside the home?

Yes God cares. It is symbolic. Read Ephesians chapter 5. God has created marriage between a man and a woman to be a symbol of the relationship between God and man. In this relationship, the husband is a symbol of God, and the wife is a symbol of mankind. Each time a wife does the dishes, does the laundry or cooks in that brand new kitchen – she plays out that all important symbolism. That food she is cooking is not only for her husband and her children, it is also for God himself.

So Teakwood Builders of Saratoga Springs, I pray that you won’t back down and you keep those ads up. I realize you may not be doing it for religious reasons, but God can use many things for his glory and he can use this to start discussions about women and the home. God wants more men and women to honor a woman’s primary role in the care and management of the home.

 

Ben Affleck says girls are smarter than boys – REALLY?

Ben_Affleck_2009_2a

There are some well read and intelligent Hollywood actors, both liberal and conservative. Ben Affleck is not one of them.  Don’t get me wrong, I usually love his films, and as an actor he is great. But as a philosopher, historian, or just someone who truly understands the facts of life and the world, lets just say he is not a good source in these areas.

In Ben’s great wisdom he is quoted in a USA today article stating the following:

“Boys, as we now know, are much slower than girls. Boys just take a while. We’re not as smart as women for many, many years. I don’t know if we ever catch up. We catch up in some ways but probably not in all of them,”

Source: http://entertainthis.usatoday.com/2014/10/09/ben-affleck-on-boys-versus-girls-were-just-not-as-smart/

Are girls sometimes smarter than boys? Absolutely. I have sons and a daughter. I know first hand from helping my kids with their school work, seeing their strengths and weaknesses(as well as their report cards) and talking to their teachers that there is definitely a difference in cognitive(intellectual) ability.

Two of my sons are very intelligent when it comes to math and science, while two of my sons struggle in these categories. My daughter comes somewhere in the middle, she still struggles in math, but not as much as two of my sons do. So in my family with 5 children, my daughter’s intelligence comes right in the middle.

But my children have different strengths, one of my son’s who struggles academically is very good with his hands and very mechanically inclined.  He can take about just about anything and put it back together. This is something that his “book smart” brothers would never be able to do.  My daughter while she struggles in math and science, excels in writing, especially creative writing.

I say all that to say this, can I take the small case study in my home, and put that as how all people are – like Ben Affleck did? Of course not!

Mr. Affleck, let’s look at the cold hard facts.

Men are superior to women in STEM fields (science, technology, engineering, and mathematics)

“Psychological tests also reveal patterns of sex difference. On average, males finish faster and score higher than females on a test that requires the taker to visualize an object’s appearance after it is rotated in three dimensions. The same is true for map-reading tests, and for embedded-figures tests, which ask subjects to find a component shape hidden within a larger design. Males are over-represented in the top percentiles on college-level math tests and tend to score higher on mechanics tests than females do.”

“…males on average have a stronger drive to systemize, and females to empathize. Systemizing involves identifying the laws that govern how a system works…”

Dr. Simon Baron-Cohen, Cambridge University

http://www.nytimes.com/2005/08/08/opinion/08baron-cohen.html?pagewanted=all&_r=0

A man’s brain is made to systemize things, to analyze, construct and explore. When we accept that God gave men some superior abilities to women in these areas then it will come as no shock that 73% percent of Computer Scientists are men.

“20 percent of bachelor’s degrees in computer science go to women, even though female graduates hold 60 percent of all bachelor’s degrees.”

Heather R. Huhman, Forbes

http://www.forbes.com/sites/work-in-progress/2012/06/20/stem-fields-and-the-gender-gap-where-are-the-women/

There are more highly intelligent men than highly intelligent women

While men and women have about the same average IQ (according to intelligence testing), men vary much more than women do. What that means is there are more men at each spectrum of intelligence than women (below average and above average). However after crossing the average intelligence threshold the amount of men who have above average IQs begins to dominate the women bringing us to the point where there are eight genius level IQ men to every one woman genius.

http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/sexdifferences.aspx

Many people try and explain away the fact that men dominate the STEM fields as simply a cultural thing that can be overcome with time.  We see commercials and books and articles telling us we have to encourage more young girls to get into the STEM fields.  But no one even considers the fact that there simply may not be as many women who are cognitively wired for these fields.

You can’t make someone more intelligent, and you can’t turn someone into a genius, either you are, or you are not.

Girls mature faster than boys

There is a difference between maturity and intelligence.  No one could argue with that fact that generally speaking, girls mature far faster than boys.  Take any 15 year old girl, and compare her to a 15 year old boy, and you will see a huge difference in maturity.

But guess what? If we understand God’s design for women as presented in the Bible, it is no shock to us that girls must mature faster than boys.

Guess why? Because up until the last 100 years or so, for the all of human history women typically became mothers by the time they reached age 15 or sooner. They had to be mature faster, they were parents at a much earlier age than boys typically were.

Since God designed women to be wives and mothers first and foremost, not business leaders, politicians, engineers and scientists, they mature much faster than boys. This also explains why most women are not generally drawn to, nor do they have the natural ability, generally speaking, to go into these fields.

Different kinds of intelligence

When we say someone is “smart” or “smarter”, what do we mean? Generally speaking we are referring to how capable they are at grasping different intellectual topics.  People can be “smart” in different ways.  Some people are creative writing geniuses, but stink at the math and science fields.  While typically the same people who excel at math and science fields are not always good in the creative and artistic fields.  So yes there are definitely different kinds of intelligence.

But are there people, who possess neither creative(or artistic) intelligence, or math and science intelligence? Absolutely. In fact that would probably describe the majority of the world’s population. That is why we pay creative and intelligent people more, and why certain fields pay so much money, because there are so few people who can do certain jobs.

But the reality is, in just about every field, whether it is a creative field, business, political, or STEM, men dominate these fields, world-wide.

Conclusion

Mr. Affleck, yes your daughters might have matured faster than your son, and someday they may be even prove to be smarter than your son, but that would be the exception, not the norm.  The world around you tells a very different story about whether boys are smarter than girls, and the verdict is all around you, intelligent and business savvy men are the norm, super intelligent and business savvy women are the exception.

In lieu of all the hate comments I might get here – no I do not think women are dumb. But I think it is dumb to say girls are smarter than boys, when that simply is not the case, and later in life the world shows otherwise.

 

 

 

 

Feminism will come to an end one way or the other

Woman_suffrage_headquarters_Cleveland

On August 18th 1920, the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution forever changed the course of the American nation. This amendment giving women the right to vote, began the process of the feminization of America. America was not the first nation to give women the right to vote, but it was one of the most influential world powers to do so. The system of patriarchy that had served the world since the beginning of creation, was now being taken down in favor of a grand new experiment.

It was not something that happened overnight. It took over forty years from the time Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the amendment in 1878 for it to be finally ratified in 1920. It was passed under immense pressure from women’s groups and the pressuring of men to give women “fair” and “just” treatment.

I believe if you could go back and show the men who voted to give women the right to vote how their vote affected our nation over the next century, the amendment would have been massively defeated.

Feminism will eventually end in of one of two ways

Previously I wrote a post about how Fathers can save our families from feminism. I believe this is one of two ways feminism in America and Western Civilization will end. Fathers teaching their daughters to reject feminist ideals and to embrace their God given roles as wives and mothers would certainly be the less painful way that feminism will end. But if Fathers do not step in and lead, and teach their daughters what is right, a more painful end to feminism will occur.

Emotion verses Logic

While there are more emotional men, and more logical women, the reality is most men are more logical and most women are more emotional. Most men tend to think with their heads first, and their hearts second. On the other hand, most women tend to think with their hearts first and their heads second.

But in the end logic always beats emotion. Emotion may seem to triumph over logic for a period, perhaps even for decades or centuries. But eventually logic prevails.

Emotion says if, we as a nation are nice to our enemies, and we lower our defenses, or withdraw, they will leave us alone.

Logic says an enemy does not want to fight with a nation they cannot beat. So having a larger military, and more advanced weapons actually promotes peace.

Emotion says if we as a nation deal gently and proportionally with our enemies, then they will appreciate the merciful treatment and stop seeing us as enemies.

Logic says if you crush your enemies with overwhelming force, they will think twice before opposing your interests.

Emotion says if you have a more diverse culture (with different languages, religious beliefs and value systems), you will have a better culture.

Logic says if you have a more diverse culture, you will have a more divided culture and a weaker nation. Logic does not say everyone must think exactly the same on all issues, but the more similar the people are to one another in their religious beliefs, their language and value systems, the more unified the nation will be.

Emotion says if you are softer and gentler toward criminals, you will have less crime.

Logic says if you are harder on crime, and give harsher punishments then you will deter crime.

Emotion says you should not have a gun in your home, because you might use it in the wrong circumstance or hurt your spouse. Your child might find it and get hurt, or you might react wrongly and kill someone with it.

Logic says when criminals know that every home in a neighborhood is armed, with citizens who are willing to use these weapons, crime goes down because these criminals don’t want to be shot in the face as they try to enter someone’s home.

Emotion says we as a nation cannot let anyone starve.

Logic says if a man does not work, he does not eat. If we as a nation continue to give people unending government assistance we will create a larger and larger segment of the population that is dependent on the other segment. Eventually the boat will tip over.

Emotion says every person, man, woman or child should be able to choose to do whatever makes them happy.

Logic says each person should do what they are biologically designed to do. If they are a man, they are designed to lead, protect and provide for women and children. If they are a woman, they are designed to bear children, feed those children and nurture those children into healthy adults.

Emotion says men and women should not have to marry, but should be able to have casual sex and just live together.

Logic says the best relationship is a committed relationship within the institution of marriage, where both the man and woman have clearly defined roles. The security of marriage provides security to a nation and a civilization.

Emotion says women don’t have to have children, it is their choice.

Logic says the most critical and important role women play in civilization is the bearing and raising of children. If women don’t have children (at least 3 children per woman to make up for women who cannot have children) then eventually the human race will become extinct. If those children are not given the nurturing care of a loving mother they are more likely to get into crime, or be less productive and more dependent citizens that will way down on the resources of the nation.

Conclusion

If we as a nation, and as Western civilization, keep following emotion eventually Western civilization will fall. The reason our civilization will fall is because of the feminization of the West. It is because we think more with our hearts, than with our heads.

It is because we won’t protect our language, borders and culture, for fear of offending others.

It is because we won’t protect marriage from easy divorce because we don’t want to make two people live together who don’t have feelings for each other anymore.

It is because we won’t make women stay home, bear and raise the next generation of young people for fear we are being unfair to women.

It is because we won’t be tough on crime.

It is because we won’t be tough on government corruption.

It is because we are unwilling to crush our enemies with overwhelming force and fight to protect our interests.

It is because we are unwilling to let lazy people starve and go homeless.

It is because we continually take what people have earned, and it give it to people who have not earned it all in a futile attempt to eliminate differences in income and economic classes (which will never happen).

It is because we continue to spend more than we have, both as individuals and families, and as a nation.

It is because we are willing to kill the innocent (the unborn), but unwilling to kill the guilty.

In the end though, Feminism will not survive. If we cannot turn around our society the easier way through the influence of fathers teaching their daughters what is right, and teaching our young men to reject feminist women when they look for wives, then eventually western civilization will collapse, and with it feminism.

Then a new society will form, built on the ashes of the old, and mankind will have learned that the greatest mistake it ever made was giving women the right to vote and by extension allowing the feminization of society.

Why do older men go out with younger women?

Bodycrimes made this comment in reply on a post she wrote about Older men and Younger women:

“Except that women aren’t making that sacrifice at all. Women who are university educated are now the most likely to get married and have families. Professional and educated men do not marry uneducated women. The worst thing a woman who aspires to a middle class or above life could do is to fail to get an education and career.”

Are there studies that on the surface would seem to support what she said? Yes.

This study sited at the HuffingtonPost would be one that seems to confirm her opinion:

“According to a new study by NYU sociologists Paula England and Jonathan Bearak, prepared for the Council on Contemporary Families, college-educated women are now as likely to get married as their less-educated peers — even if the weddings happen in a somewhat older age range. These findings contradict the previously prevailing idea that women who pursued higher education were more likely to delay finding a mate past some stereotypical “marriageable age” while studying and building demanding careers.”

However as you dig deeper into the study, you note the disparity between races on this issue.

“In terms of race, the delayed marriage boost that college education produces is far more pronounced for black women than for white women. While “black women have lower odds of ever marrying than white women … getting a college education raises ultimate marriage rates by the 30s and 40s much more substantially for blacks than whites.” Black women who don’t complete high school are far less likely to get married than any other group.”

Because there is a complete breakdown of the nuclear family in the black community of the United States, where almost 70% of black children are born out of wedlock Black women need that extra education to give them that leg up. But in other racial groups, especially with whites, where the out of wedlock birth rate is more around 30%, a woman having a college education does not have as high an impact on her marriageability or getting into the middle class.

This study cited by the Huffington Post also shows that these same college educated women, while having a better chance of getting married (and as I pointed out this is more in the black community than in other racial communities) also marry much later.

What they don’t report is that these women who marry later in life often have a lot more fertility issues and this is one of the contributing factors to declining birth rates in most western nations (including the US).

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/04/12/college-educated-women-and-marriage_n_1421792.html

But is a higher education all positive for women? Not really according to this study cited at Bloomberg.com:

“Women who have come out on top in the job market may not find similar success in the marriage market… Aversion to wives earning more than husbands could be leading to fewer weddings and more divorces, according to a National Bureau of Economic Research working paper… couples where a wife earns more are less satisfied with their marriage and are more likely to divorce”

http://go.bloomberg.com/political-capital/2013-05-15/higher-paid-women-less-married-more-divorced/

The higher educated a woman is, and the more she makes directly lessens her chances of getting married and even if she does get married her chances of divorce are much higher.

The study cited in the HuffingtonPost and the one at Bloomberg.com are not contradictory when you look at the racial factor. There is truly a marriage crisis in the Black community, to deny so would be to deny what every government and private study shows us. Does poverty have some affect? Yes. But even in other racial communities where poverty exists marriage rates are much higher than in lower income black areas.

If you remove the racial factor, for whites especially, a woman having a higher education makes her LESS likely to get married, and when she does get married she will have a much higher chance of divorce.

That may not sit well with my feminist and egalitarian friends, but it is the truth.

Why I don’t believe women should have careers outside the home

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I am often asked why I don’t believe women should have careers outside the home. Why should men get to have an education and a career and women don’t? It’s not fair right?


The first question we need to ask

There are several ways I could answer these questions from a Biblical perspective, but there is a much simpler question that transcends all religions and cultures that I often ask when I am in a room full of people having this discussion.

I usually look to the men and make it very personal.

Your met your wife while you were both attending college and university. You were both enlightened and after all, a woman deserves to have a college education and career just as much as man right? So you both finish college and both begin your careers.

Couple of graduates outdoors

You are both about 25 years old, a few years out of college when your wife tells you she is pregnant. It is the most exciting news of your life, second only to when she agreed to marry you. As the months pass and the baby grows inside of her the question arises “how long will you take off from work when the baby is born?”

She says “well I can’t take off too long or it might damage my career, so I am thinking I will go back to work 6 weeks after I have the baby”. Now if you are an “enlightened” man, this will not disturb you in the least bit, because after all she is just as entitled to her career as you are to yours right?

What is best for infant children?

Mother with newborn sun

Except for men and women who have been in my audiences, most people pause and really give this question some consideration. What is best for the young infant – to be cared for by their mother or by strangers while the mother goes off and pursues her career?

Then when many people in my audience say they are unsure – I tell them there is a reason, a God given reason why they give pause to this scenario. We all know that in most cases (except if a mother is abusive or mentally ill) that it is best for a young infant to be nurtured and raised by their mother.

More often than not, the majority of men will agree a mother should be with her infant child to care for them until they can go to school. Maybe half the women will agree and the other half will not.

The women who disagree with the premise that it is best for children to be raised by their mothers (and not daycare workers) will say studies show daycare kids actually do better in school grade wise. To which I respond that while those studies may or may not be true, other studies show that daycare kids(especially ones who have been in daycare since they were infants) have emotional issues and are often much more aggressive in school.

But for those in my audience who agree that it is best that infant children be raised by their mother, I say then that we need to go back and revisit the career issue. If a woman has an average of 3 children (which is what we need to keep the world population from falling, and keep a modest growth rate) then let’s do the math.

If a woman has a child on average every two years, then that means she will spend six years having children. If she stays home to raise each of those infant children (which I agree is best for the children), then her last child will be of full school kindergarten age approximately 11 years after she had her first child.
If she starts having children when she graduates from college at 22, that would make her 33 years old before she could go to work and start a career.

Happy mother with her three young children

Now let’s say this woman did the right thing and raised all of her children until they were all in school full time. Here is a mid-30’s woman ready to go and conquer the world. There is no problem now right?

Well let’s consider that children have a lot of school activities that involve parental involvement but Dad can start helping with these right? Maybe he can and maybe he can’t. Dad may have a demanding job that keeps him in the office or factory 50 hours a week and he can’t take off every few weeks for school activities during the day (which many elementary schools have).

If Mom goes to work who will be home when the kids get off their bus from school or will they have to be put into a latch key program? Again we must ask the question – which is better for the children, to have a mother waiting for them at home when they get off the bus or to be put in latch key?

If Mom goes to work and Dad also works a demanding job then who will have the time and energy to help the children will all their school work each night? If Mom is exhausted from work who is going to cook dinner? Mom and Dad can just rotate right?

What is better for the children and for her husband?

Happy family

When the kids go off to school a stay at home mom has the chance to recharge her batteries. She can plan for meals, she can go shopping to get clothing for her children and her husband. Perhaps she can write for a blog from the comfort of her home. She can volunteer to help with things at her church and she is always available if her children or husband need something because she does not have her resources pulled away by an outside career.

When the kids get home from school mom is there to ask them about their day and help them with their homework. She can prepare nice home cooked meals (instead of takeout all the time because Mom and Dad are both exhausted from work). She can cook meals for sick shut-ins at her church. If it does not take away from her mothering duties, she can eventually run a small business selling things out of her home.

The reality is, until the children are grown to adults and move out what is best for her family and her marriage is for her to remain in the home.

But what about what is best for her?

Happy woman

This is the question many feminists will be shouting throughout this discussion. The answer is that what is best for a woman’s family is also what is best for her.

While studies show that women who work outside the home have less stress, what they don’t often show is who they are surveying.

Yes if you were to survey stay at home moms with infant children and toddlers they will often report stress levels that are far higher than women in their same situation with small children that have them in day care and work.
Of course you are less stressed, you are handing your kids off to strangers for 10 hours a day and you get a break to be with the grownups! Stay at home moms have a monumental and sometimes stressful task when they are raising small children. But it is worth it, and it is what is best. The easy way is not always the right way, and this is true when it comes to raising kids.

But if you were to survey stay at home Moms whose kids are all in school full time, I would wager that they will report less stressful lives than the working Moms at that point. They did the hard work, they changed the diapers, and they held the crying babies for hours on end. They also got enjoy the special moments of hearing their children’s first words, seeing them walk for the first time and all the other special firsts that God has given to Moms if they will only accept his gift. They are now reaping the benefits of their wise decision to stay home and dedicate their lives fully to their marriage and family.

When you have raised an emotionally stable child, that has been grounded in your faith and belief, and when you have a happy marriage because you had no career to distract you from giving all of yourself to your husband, you will see that God’s way is best.

God made woman for man, as a helpmeet. She is beautifully and wonderfully equipped for the task of being a full time wife and mom. But when she goes outside of God’s design, and tries to do things that God did not design her for, she will often times bring pain to not only her husband and children, but also to herself.

The scourge of Feminism

CompeteorComplete

Mankind has witnessed almost every type of wicked and sinful behavior imaginable since the beginning of history. But one evil had never before been witnessed in the history of the world until just the last 150 years, and that is the scourge of feminism.

In 1848, the first woman’s rights convention was held at Seneca Falls, New York. One of the most famous statements decreed at this convention was:

“He [the legislative and judicial patriarchy] has so framed the laws of divorce as to what shall be the proper causes, and in the case of separation, to whom the guardianship of the children shall be given as to be wholly regardless of the happiness of women–the law in all cases going upon the false supposition of the supremacy of man, and giving all power into his hands.”

In these early years of feminism some women and men thought they were fighting for simple fairness and justice. Many legitimate questions were raised:

Businesswoman asking why

Why should women not have the same rights as men?

Why should women not have a fair distribution of property and joint custody when being divorced?

In later years these questions would also be raised:

Why should women not have the right to vote?

Why should women not be paid the same as men for the same job?

Why should women not be able to lead companies?

What should women not be able to be politicians?

Why should women not be able to be soldiers in the army?

Why should women not have the right to do with their bodies as they will (abortion)?

How we answered the first question is how the scourge of feminism was born

Women should never have been granted the same rights as men, because women have a different role to play in society than men. Men are biologically designed to lead, conquer, provide and protect. Women are built to be soft and gentle, both physically and psychologically, to bring love and comfort to men, to bear their children and raise and care for their children.

The Bible tells us why men are designed bigger and stronger and aggressive, and why they are designed with a natural desire to lead, provide for and protect women. It is because God designed man in his image, in his likeness. Man’s leadership, protection and provision for woman is symbolic of God’s leadership, provision and protection of his people.

Woman on the other hand was designed as a symbol of God’s people. God meant for woman to submit to and serve man in the same way that all of mankind is meant to submit to and serve God. Her physical beauty is given her as a symbol of the beauty of God’s holy people, his church.

When the people of the Seneca Falls Convention questioned “the supremacy of man” over woman in society they were in essence questioning the supremacy of God over man, because the relationship between God and man is symbolized in the relationship between man and woman. Yes there have been female queens and prophets and other leaders earlier in history, but never had the supremacy of man over woman ever been questioned in the way the Seneca Falls Convention questioned it.

The effects of Seneca Falls Convention

Before the Seneca Falls Convention, divorce was almost non-existent in the United States. If a man and woman did divorce, the father would retain full custody of the children and all property, and his wife was lucky to leave with the clothes on her back.

After the Seneca Falls convention, for the first time in the history of mankind, a man’s wife and his children were no longer seen as his property. Over the coming decades women were granted property rights and women started be able to divorce their husbands and also retain custody of their children. While divorce of the 19th century was not as easy as the modern no fault divorce we have now, it was still encouraged by granting women new rights in divorce.

After women were given new rights to children and property in divorce, the divorce rate tripled in the United States, although still being low by today’s divorce rate of about 50%.

After 1848 women began gaining more and more rights until they finally gained the right to vote with the passage of the 19th Amendment in 1920. This was perhaps the most pivotal moment in the history of Feminism in the United States. Now women would be able to influence public policy and there would be no end to the rights and privileges they could grant themselves by electing politicians who would favor their causes.

The Second-wave feminism of the 1960s

The “second-wave” feminism of the 1960s began an all-out assault the traditional family. Women burned their bras and declared their independence from men. The patriarchal systems that had ruled mankind since the beginning of time needed to be torn down in their view.

They sued to have the right to abortion and the right to do as they would regardless of their husband’s wishes. No fault divorce began to spread throughout the country making divorce rates rise again. By the 1980s divorce rates in the United States rose to their peak of just over 50 percent and women had gained the right to murder their own children and their husbands had not a word to say about it.

The lasting consequences of the scourge of Feminism

Young couple having marriage problems

For the first time in the history of the world these things are now happening as a direct result of the scourge of Feminism:

Marriage is no longer the sacred institution it once was. Women end marriages based on their feelings, and not based on God’s law. Women are the ones who file for divorce in almost 70% of all cases.

A man’s wife can have an affair on him and then she can decide to leave him for another man, file for divorce and take full custody of his children and half or more of everything he owns.

A man’s wife can murder his unborn child without his knowledge.

Women can accuse men of sexual harassment with little or no proof, and men can lose their jobs and livelihoods as a result.

Women can sue companies for supposed “gender discrimination” when they don’t get promotions or treatment that they feel is “fair and equal”.

Those who hold to Feminist ideals have taken over government positions, institutions of higher learning, churches and communities and have engaged in an all-out assault on masculinity.

While divorce rates have tapered off, cohabitation rates have grown. If the separation of couples who have lived together in long term relationships were counted as divorce, the divorce rate would be far past 50 percent in the United States.

Because of the rebellion of modern women many men run from the idea of marriage. Why would a man want to marry a woman, knowing at any time she could take his children and half of everything he owns if he does anything to make her unhappy?

As a result we have an ever growing number of single mothers or divorced mothers raising children. Crimes rates are up, poverty rates are up, all because of the disintegration of the family unit which is a direct result of Feminism.

Not only has the family unit suffered, but the church and our communities have suffered as well. We have become soft toward crime and criminals, we have softened our approach to our enemies abroad. Feminism like a disease has spread to almost every corner of our society.

What can we do against these seemingly overwhelming odds?

For those of us who embrace God’s design of man, woman and the family there is still hope even in the midst of all the carnage that Feminism has created.

We need to encourage men to be men. To lovingly, but firmly lead and provide for their families. Fathers need to teach their boys to not be ashamed of their masculinity, but to embrace it. They need to be gentlemen, and leaders. Women need to be taught their place in God’s creation, both by the churches as well as their husbands. Women need to be taught to embrace the fact that God created them to be a gift to man, and their greatest honor is to bear and raise the children of mankind.

This will take a great deal of courage on the part of men and church leaders. I believe we also have to use tact in how we approach women with these subjects. We need to treat women with love and respect, but we also need to lead.

Bible passages like these need to be preached from the pulpits of churches all across America and husbands and fathers need to teach these truths to the wives and daughters:

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God…Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

I Corinthians 11:3 & 9(KJV)

“3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:3-5(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

This new approach to directly confronting feminism in our homes and churches will not come without a cost. Pastors need to realize that some members will leave their churches when they stand on the Word of God and God’s design for man, woman and the family.

When men grow spines in their homes with their wives, their wives may threaten divorce or actually divorce them and they must be ready for this. There is no sin in a man standing for what is right, and if his wife leaves him for this the sin lies with her.

Single men when seeking wives need to be honest about their God given convictions. This might make finding a wife in America or other westernized countries more difficult and Godly Christian men may sometimes need to seek wives from countries abroad that have not been as poisoned by Feminism. I wrote another article where I talked about how Godly men can have the greatest influence through their relationships with their daughters.

We can begin to take back our society, one marriage, one family and one church at a time, if we will only have the courage to follow God’s ways and do what is right, no matter the cost.

 

Sources: http://www.faqs.org/childhood/Co-Fa/Divorce-and-Custody.html