“Are there any Gen Z guys out there that follow biblical gender roles and the courtship model for marriage? It seems that the men of my generation are simply not interested in being leaders, providers and protectors for women and having stay at home wives.” This was part of an email I recently received from a 20-year-old young woman.
Here is more of her story:
“I have been raised in a conservative Christian and patriarchal home all my life. All throughout high school I told people that I did not want to be a career woman or go to college. I told them I wanted to be a keeper at home as I believe God has called women to be. Since I was a young girl, I always looked forward to finding a godly man who would be my leader, provider and protector and one whom I could serve with my life.
But since graduating high school two years ago, I have been on all the Christian dating sites and I have yet to find a Christian young man in the Gen Z age group (a guy 25 or under) that wants to live a biblical and traditional lifestyle, believes in the courtship model for seeking marriage and makes enough money to provide for a family.
Can you reach out to your followers to see if anyone would be interested in courting me?”
Gen Z men, like men of recent generations before them, have been taught the lies that they cannot provide for a family on their own and that courtship is too old fashioned and the dating model for marriage is better.
But I believe just as in all generations past, that God has reserved a faithful remnant even among Gen Z young men.
If you are a single Gen Z Christian man, one who believes in Biblical patriarchy, courtship and women being keepers in the home and one who actually makes enough to provide for a family right now – would you leave a comment on this post to encourage women like this young lady who think you are not out there? And if you don’t feel comfortable making public comments (as many of my followers don’t), would you consider emailing me at biblicalgenderroles@gmail.com if you would like to get in contact with this young woman? Perhaps you are a parent or sibling of a man that fits this description – would you comment here or reach out to me via email?
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Biblical Gender Roles 
Her expectations for Gen Z men aren’t reasonable. Having the wealth and resources to care for a family isn’t something a young-20s man is going to really be able to have unless he comes from a wealthy family.
If she changed her expectations to be willing to consider late-20 something or early to mid-30s men, then she’d find a lot more available men.
ar10308,
I agree with you that there will definitely be fewer men in the their young 20s that can support a family, and I have actually mentioned that to this young woman and she said her father said the same thing to her that she may need to consider opening up her dating profiles to older men. I think if she opened her profiles to up to 30 rather than 25 or under she would get more prospective suitors. And I think she may be starting to reconsider the age limit she has set now. I will let everyone know if changes her mind on that.
Having said that, I have many young men in my family that were able to support a family under the age of 25. My niece married her husband when they were both in their early 20s about 7 years ago. He worked in a factory making 45K when he married. They got an apartment, then a small home about a year and half later.
My son who is 21, married his wife about two years ago. He was 19. He started an apprenticeship as a plumber at 17, and by 19 he was full plumber making 50K a year, at 21 he now makes over 60K and year and last week just bought his first house. He bought an old farm house on 3 acres of land. Him and his wife gave us our first grand child and she is at home taking care of the child.
My eldest son is 23, works in IT and makes 45K a year. He is getting married later this year.
I could go on with church friends I know, but you get my point. It is possible for a man 25 or under to support a family. It may be very tight at first, but he will make more as he gets into his late 20s and early 30s.
I left one about me as a prospective earlier today…yet it seems to have been lost.
I don’t see your first comment about be a prospective today – can you resend?
thedefiantartist,
Can you state you summarize your beliefs regarding gender roles, patriarchy and such. Also how old are you and what do you do for a living. If you don’t want to put it in a comment here you can email me at biblicalgenderroles@gmail.com
Well, here goes nothing! Not really 🙂
Hi. I am a freelance digital artist and illustrator, filling out my time by working as a dishwasher in the family restaurant, and I have been hoping for a Godly wife for a long time. I am 26 years old, in pretty good shape, and I think I can say I am very responsible and definitely hardworking.
I am also very patriarchal in my thinking, possibly even a little too much so 🙂 My political views are very much those of our Founding Fathers, and also of our great heroes of the South in the 1860’s. My passion is to see a wholesale and sincere revival sweep our land, a return to the ancient landmarks.
What I am looking for in a wife is someone who will share my dreams, help me to build my own family, and be willing and able to undergo a lot of hard work toward those ends. I’m not gonna lie: it will not be easy. My preference is someone who is cheerful and in good physical shape, reasonably attractive, and possessing a strong resolve to be the woman her man wants her to be. That doesn’t sound too bombastic, I hope? Sorry!
I should mention that my Dad is a lifelong polygamist, and while I myself don’t feel drawn to that lifestyle, I see clearly that it is indeed not only permissible under God’s law but actually a very good thing in the main, and anyone I am going to have a relationship with will need to come to terms with that reality. Again, sorry if I sound over the top, but these days there is so much garbage out there, I would rather not waste my time (which I don’t have much of) on what could very easily be a dead end. Too often I have seen the results that follow when the women are allowed to dictate terms to their menfolk, and that is something that I absolutely find nauseating, when a man is too much of a wuss to stand up to his own wife. Oh, and I should also mention that I have little to no use for social media…period.
Anyhow, that’s me in a nutshell, a very tight nutshell actually. If anyone wants to contact me, feel free to shoot me an email at defytheidols@gmail.com. May the blessing of our Lord and Savior be upon you!
-Aaron Tyler.
Good points. I do agree that it can be done, but it can depend a lot on where you live and the type of lifestyle you expect to live.
21 here. Not ready to marry, but I just wanted to let you know we exist.
24 years old here. I am just not the cuff between Gen Z and millenials so I hope I can comment lol. I earn about $50k (though in pounds sterling I live in England) I work in the electronics/software engineering sector. I’ve been saving for property and I should be able to provide for a small family provided my wife is not someone who is “high maintenance” and desires too expensive gifts/clothing. I was actually wondering if there were any gen z women who were like the one who wrote in because it seems everyone I meet wants to work and is very ambitious and wants to start a business or such. We need a BGR dating site!
There is Millennial Men available too.
I know we’ve gotten into it before here with how my husband and I married, “too young,” and without any real means to really support a family… but it still worked out, granted it was hard. I love knowing I can say I’ve known him for 16 years, together for 15, and married this August for 14… it just adds to the romance and passion imo that we’ve been together that long and are still relatively young.
Plus… the danger of a Gen Z woman waiting until her late 20’s is she’ll have less children more than likely.
In my opinion, if they can find each other early on, it’s ok to marry and just be prepared to work hard for it!
Stephanie,
I am not against couples marrying young. My second eldest son married his 18 year old wife when he was 19. They have been married almost two years now, have a daughter that is a year old and they just bought their first house a couple weeks ago. And I also agree young women should not wait till their late 20s to have children because yes they will be less fertile and have less children.
But here is the thing about my second eldest son. He had just finished his plumbing apprenticeship and was making 50K a year when he proposed to his girlfriend. He was fully ready to support a family. I am not saying a guy who wants to court my daughter has to make 50K a year day one, but he needs to be able to pay rent, put groceries on the table and allow my daughter to be a keeper at home. If he only makes 20K a year and says she will have to work for the first few years of marriage to help support the family -that is a no-go with me.
But just because most men around 19 or 20 are not like my son where he could support a family at that age, does not mean my daughter has to wait several years into her late 20s to marry. I think it is the same for this woman in this post. It just means most likely she will marry a man that is five to seven years older than her. And that is ok. The idea of couples having to be within a year or two of each other is a uniquely modern phenomena in world history.
I agree with tea,we need a BGR dating site haha. I’m looking for the same thing as this young woman. I’m 24 years old, have no career aspirations,although I do work as a waitress, and I have no debt as I didn’t go to college. My parents raised me very conservatively. I’m looking for a man who wants to be the head, provider, and spiritual guide of our household. I’m very conservative and hold some very non-mainstream beliefs. I’m also not opposed to marrying someone older. Within ten years of my own age probably. I’m just waiting and trying to be patient for the one God has planned for me, if there is one in the works:)
That’s fine BGR, you’re her dad of course! Of course your rules should be respected for your daughter.
I still stand by my convictions that I 1) Don’t regret it obviously! and 2) believe going through those hard economical times made us so much stronger than our peers (who many have divorced by now except for a few couples we’ve known since then).
Just wanted to update everyone on how things are going for this young lady. I have received several inquiries from interested Christian men who were interested in speaking this young woman. Unfortunately several of these men were in their mid to late 30s. Some of the men were actually in their mid to late 20s. A few even in their early 20s. And yes she has opened her age range up to 30 years old.
Many of the young men in their early 20s were not yet able to provide and were not yet ready for marriage. Many of them were still students in college.
Other men were the mid 20s, and well into their careers. But they were from Christian denominations that this woman’s father would not approve of – they were Messianic Jews, Seventh Day Adventists or Catholics.
Some men were well within her age allowance (30 down to 20), they were baptist or baptistic (which is the Christian denomination she is looking for) and it was looking well. Her father would review the profiles of themselves they submitted with her, she would allow me to send her picture to them and they would decline to proceed with further discussions of courtship. And the reason was they thought she was too overweight.
So in order to help not waste my time, hers or her father’s and get her hopes up every time a man looks like a promising candidate – this young lady has agreed to let me put this additional information out to prospective suitors.
1. You do not have to attend a Baptist church, but your beliefs must be baptistic, i.e. belief in the inerrancy of Scriptures, Sola Scriptura, believers baptism by immersion…ect. Pentecostals, Messianic Jews, Seventh day Adventists, Lutherans, Methodists, and Catholics need not apply. Again this is not ripping on people of those denominations, but the cultural differences would be too great for a good match with this woman.
2. She is 5ft 5in tall, has a beautiful face, long curly hair and she still does still have an hour glass figure despite being about 30 pounds overweight. She has recently joined weight watchers and a gym to work on her weight and tone her body. But if you are looking for some tiny petite and skinny woman, you need to look elsewhere – she will never be that – she has a larger bone structure and larger breasts (and yes her and her dad gave me permission to add that last part as it is important to men).
3. Men over 30 need not apply, both she and her father would like her to be able to spend the majority of her life with her future husband and not have her potentially becoming a widow in her 40s.
4. Men who are not ready to provide for a wife and family now, or at least in the next year need not apply. So for example, if a man will be graduating in the next year with a college degree in a demanding field and will have work lined up – he can apply. Also men in skilled trades apprenticeship programs can apply as well as they will be able to provide within the next year.
5. Men whose jobs will take them away for weeks or months on end (over the road truckers, military, sales) need not apply. Some travel is fine, but this young lady is looking for a man that will be home most nights after his daily work. Again this is not a rip on truckers, military or men who have to travel a lot for work and these men may make good matches for some women, but they would not be a good match for this woman.
6. Non-U.S. Citizens or U.S. citizens who live abroad and do not intend on living in the U.S. need not apply.
She is aware that she may have to wait a while for a man who matches this criteria, but she and her father are wiling to wait on the Lord’s timing in this.
And I agree with her and her father, that this is not too much to ask on her part.
I also wanted to add though, that even if you don’t fit this particular woman’s criteria in what she is looking for in a future husband, please feel free to comment on this post and let me and my readers know about yourself. There might be another match out there that sees you and comments here or contacts me about you.
A BGR dating site has been an idea of mine for a while. But dating sites are hard to start up, because at first almost everyone who joins are men with few women. You need time to build up the women members to be to a closer ratio to the male members, and still the male members are always greater. So you have to have a lot of patient men that join and are willing to let their profiles sit out there for a while.
If a BGR dating site were to be set up, I would definitely join, so there’s at least one woman,haha. That’s interesting though, do you know how long it generally takes for the members to balance out?
I did the dating site stuff the first half of this year and just ended my Match.com profile. I had a few first dates but it never went past that. It got to the point (and a solid wakeup call I needed) that I need to get my crap together. It got to the point where I didn’t have any will to message a girl and felt no desire for anyone, it treated it as a job. Part of me wanted to throw my bid out there for this girl, but im in my mid 30’s and im in no position at this time for marriage, and that’s fine for now. My mom said for it to “naturally happen,” and I feel at peace with that. I got some things to sort out and take care of before moving forward that God is working with me on. Sites like this and Sigma have really helped me understand how important marriage is and where I failed in my last relationship in areas where I was close to marriage. Even though I don’t like it, im better off going through what I am now for the time being.
Hi, I’m Aaron and I saw your comment. If you want, send me an email at defytheidols@gmail.com. I am also rather decidedly non-mainstream myself, so yeah.
shmakes,
They never really completely balance out. Most dating sites have a ration of around 60% men to 40% women although a few like Eharmony and ChristianMingle claim slightly more women than men (55% women). Also when you did into the numbers more, it is also about age range. It appears from the early 20s to late 30s there is much wider gap, like 70 percent men to 30 percent women on many dating sites. Also women are fare more choosy in their search and match requirements on dating sites (think female hypergamy).
It appears that men simply need women more than women need men. Women are likely to remain single for much longer than men, and especially in the divorced community it is far more common for a divorced woman to remain unmarried than a divorced man.
But even if I could get to a 70 percent to 30 percent ratio of men to women on a BGR dating site, I would consider that somewhat successful. I think at first when I start it may be more like 90 percent men, 10 percent women ration at first. Hard to tell though – because we who believe in biblical gender roles are a unique community. I might be pleasantly surprised by a better ratio.
Thank you Aaron, I did see your comment from a few days ago. I’m sorry though, I don’t agree with polygamy, so I wouldn’t be able to get past that. Thank you for reaching out though:)
schmakes,
A lot of men that believe in Biblical patriarchy also believe that polygamy is still acceptable before God. But most have no intention of actually trying to practice it given how difficult it would be in our society today. Would you consider a man who believed it was still Biblically allowable, but had no intent of trying to practice it today?
Responding to Schmakes, in case that wasn’t clear! If you want, shoot me an email at defytheidols@gmail.com. Like I said, I am decidedly non-mainstream myself…I just wasn’t sure if the replying system on this site would list my comment where it should be. Thanks!
Gonna sound really dumb here but I didn’t see your reply. Sorry!
Let me just say that I myself have no plans to be a polygamist, I just simply see it to be permissible under God’s law. It is definitely not for everyone.
Haha,no problem,I’ve had a few comments that I could have sworn I posted that didn’t end up on here. I understand where folks are coming from when they talk about polygamy, my problem is that I don’t believe polygamy is ideal, so,it’s not exactly a cultural issue for me so much as it’s a difference of belief. My father used to talk about how he couldn’t say it was unholy,more that he thought it was unwise. He passed away about two years ago,so I can’t ask his opinion anymore,but I have run it by my oldest brother,who pretty much agrees with my dad. So,that’s where I stand,I guess. I also have difficulty with the concept I suppose.
I hear you there for sure, and like I said before, I can’t see myself actually being a polygamist…the idea does have some appeal, to be sure: who wouldn’t want to have several good women to love in addition to just one? But then you have the added responsibilities, the burden of leadership multiplied, etc. My Dad has said before that it definitely is not for everyone. But it has worked out well for him.
Certainly I can agree that it would be unwise in many cases…so like I say, that’s not something I am in any way forseeing for myself, but I don’t see it as a problem either.
For myself personally, the issue wouldn’t be solved by cultural restrictions, as I would disagree with the principle of that belief. Again,I don’t know if it’s unholy, I just wouldn’t be willing to court someone who is only not living a polygamist lifestyle because of cultural restrictions. Sorry,I’m not trying to be harsh, I am trying to be straightforward though.
Hi, I’m a 17 year old christian girl from Turkey and I have the same issues plus the fact that most people here are not christians. I want to find a husband who believes in biblical patriarchy and will take care of our family, doesn’t have to be in Turkey or Turkish, I’m not a racist person at all. If anyone wants to reach me about this or anything else, my email is teslan817@gmail.com
I am a hardworking, traditional Christian man in my late 30s. I’m posting in the hope that anyone of legal age who shares the values of Biblical Gender Roles, patriarchy and a traditional male led home might want to correspond. I own my own business and am self sufficient. I would enjoy getting to know anyone who wants to correspond, and discuss beliefs and mutual interests – and am very open to that leading to a relationship with the right lady. You can email me at: natureandtradition@protonmail.com
Hello,
Since this is my first comment here, I would like to start by giving thanks to biblicalgenderroles for the blessings this website has been for me. Your work has changed my life. Before, I was quite egalitarian in my thinking and also ascribing to the MGTOW philosophy. I came across your work when I was researching what the Bible had to say about MGTOW, and found your Red Pill series of articles. I now realize the importance of man’s role in being a godly leader and to not chase selfish ambition at the expense of having a family; to trust God in finding a godly wife despite the dangers of marriage in modern society. I can go on at length in my thanks, but sir please know that you have greatly helped me in understanding God’s design for marriage and my purpose as a man. I can’t thank you enough. Blessings to you, your family, and this ministry.
Now to the matter of this post. While I am not sure I am the kind of man that this woman and her father are looking for, I felt led by the Holy Spirit to comment here.
I am 23 years old (turning 24 in February); 5′ 11” with a slim, athletic build; blue and gray eyes with yellow tint around my irises; and, brown hair. My lineage is from Lithuania, and I am the first born in USA. I am very health conscious and eat about 90% raw: 10% cooked, plant-based diet, and am about a month into a 23 month exercise program to try to be as fit as I can. I am also a virgin, which I am so thankful for.
My occupation is a MEDEVAC jet pilot flying out of north central Florida making conservatively ~70k a year. It is an on-call job, but I am at home while on-call, and we rarely do multi-day overnight trips. My career goals are to have a job that would allow me to be with my wife and children as much as possible, which I currently have. Praise the Lord! I am not a very materialistic person (somewhat of a minimalist actually), and making lots of money does not appeal to me if it takes me away from my family, (i.e. flying for the airlines). I am also learning about investing and am looking to buy a home next year. I am currently living on my own in an apartment already, but would like to have something better for starting a family in. I am very thankful that I have no debt as well. After learning from this site, I have felt called by the Lord to pursue marriage as I now have a career to support a family and have been learning about how to live like Christ for many years now.
Onto my beliefs:
To start off, I have been studying Biblical marriage, manhood, and womanhood since I was about 15-16 (so about 8 years now). So while I knew about the husband being the leader, I didn’t realize the extent of our responsibility until I came across this site. The pivotal moment for me was the teachings here about Ephesians 5:24 about how the wife is to submit in everything. I think most guys would read that and say, “Woooo!! Yeah!!”; however, my thoughts were “uh, oh…” This verse and the teachings on this site have put a new passion for the Bible and Jesus in me because how can I wash my wife with the water of the Word (Ephesians 5:26) if I don’t know the Word extensively? I also realized the responsibility put on me that I needed to be as close to modeling Jesus as I possibly can so that she could have a godly leader and role model. I believe to some extent that if she doesn’t submit due to my ungodly behavior, I am responsible for her disobedience to God’s Word because I am the cause of it; therefore, I want to be as Christ-like and loving as possible so that she is not tempted to disobey because of my actions. Of course, there is a lot more to it, but that was the pivotal moment for me.
Therefore, my views on gender roles are: I am called to be the provider, protector, prophet and priest of my home. A godly leader (patriarch) modelling Christ in all things with courage and bravery. To wash my wife with the water of the Word; to mold her to perfection through my teaching and leadership with God’s help. To protect my family even if it costs my life (I am a concealed carry permit holder). I want to have a big family and have as many children as I can support. To teach my children and raise them in the teachings of the Lord; I want to homeschool them and be there as much as I can. While it is my wife’s responsibility to raise the children and manage the home, I want to have an as active role as I can to help her and not be passive, which I’m hoping my career will allow me to do. I am called to be ravished by the love of my wife, and I want to make her roles as much as a joy as possible through my loving behavior (loving her as if myself). Of course there are more to the roles, but I see how long this is already getting.
My spiritual views: I am non-denominational with a focus on a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and the true Word of God. I enjoy studying the original language and discovering more accurate translations of God’s Word, which is one thing I love about the articles here. I have little regard for the doctrines of man nor the cult of culture. I want to follow God’s Word only. While I do agree with a lot of Baptist teachings (I graduated from a Baptist Christian School), I do believe in speaking in tongues, and it is one of the greatest gifts I have from God.
I also believe in the permanence view of marriage and would never leave my wife or divorce.
Learning from this site, I also believe that polygyny is a biblical practice; however with the difficulties in modern society towards this concept, I am unsure what to do with this information/revelation. My views on the subject would be that I am open to it if God called me to do so, but I wouldn’t pursue it through my own will because I think I would need divine protection with how the world is. Just so there is no misunderstanding, my appeal to polygyny is the ability to be a godly, loving husband to more than one wife since there are very few godly men out there; to model Christ and be a safe haven for the godly women out there that sadly have few options; to allow more women to have their dream come true of having a godly marriage, and not have to settle for someone or something lesser due to a man-made doctrine. I also like the possibility of having a stronger and larger family, but realize that it would be very challenging for sure; however, I would take the responsibility with great courage if I was called to fight for the truth and be an example of the true character of God in this way.
I am also open to a marriage based on the articles on this site about the Biblical minimum age of marriage if the Lord were to call me to do so. I would love to make a young woman’s dream come true of entering a godly marriage at a young age and pursuing her true purpose instead of what the world says.
In any case, I want to respect the roles of her parents and pursue a biblical courtship model, which is why I have reservation using dating sites as it bypasses the parents from the picture. I have no reservation to ask her father’s permission or meet with her parents, in person even, before we even start the courtship process. I am in no rush, or trying to take advantage of anyone. My only aim is to follow the path that God has made for me, to have a relationship with Him, and live according to His design; to spend my life with the one(s) that God made me to cherish, love and protect.
Whew! This is long! I apologize for the wall of text, but I felt brave to make it public rather than private by email. I hope that this provided a decent overview into who I am, and what I believe. Of course, there is so much more that I could have said. I am a very honest person, and am happy to answer any questions/comments either in this post or through my email: warrior_of_truth@protonmail.com
Thank you to anyone reading this and God bless,
Amadeus, a Warrior of Truth
Amadeus,
Thank you for laying out there for this woman and any other woman reading this what your worldview is and where God has you at this point in your life.
Larry