Men’s Rights Activist Murders 7 Women

As someone who believes in Biblical Patriarchy, I guess that makes me a “Men’s Rights activist”. However I would in no way condone this man’s actions. Life is not fair, some men get the girls and other men don’t. You don’t have the right to take out your frustrations about not “getting any” by murdering women.

Contrary to popular belief in some feminist circles, you can believe in Patriarchy, or male dominance of society and still believe that women should still be treated with dignity and respect. Now there may some disagreement about what dignity and respect means, Biblically it does not mean equal freedom. It simply means not treating a human being like an animal, and not abusing them.

As far as the whining goes, there is enough of that to go around on both sides with men and women. If we are strictly talking about dating, men whine when they don’t get the nice looking girls, and women whine when men leave them for nicer looking women.

However Tangled then goes off the deep end by saying white men do most mass shootings because they think they are entitled.
So when a black man goes in a shoots up a party store, or does a drive by shooting he doesn’t feel entitled to do so?

She also makes the connection that to hate feminism (as MRAs do) means that all MRAs hate women. The reality there are extremist feminists and extremists MRAs that yes do spill utter hatred of the opposite sex, but that does mean all feminists are man haters or that all MRAs are woman haters.

Personally I hate feminism, but I do not hate women. I pity feminists (both male and female advocates of the ideology) and pity their young children who are often left without a mother to care for them.

Patriarchy is Biblical in society, not just the home and church

Open Bible, with textured granite background.

I was raised in mostly conservative Baptist complementarian churches. I even researched my complementarian views in my early 20’s (along with everything else I believed). I questioned many things, read many comparative religion books as well as writings on equal rights and feminism in particular.

I came to the conclusion that the complementarian teaching I had learned was not only Biblical, but logical as well. I believed and saw that science confirms that man and woman, though they are both human, are designed with different purposes in mind. I believed (and still believe) that freedom within the bounds of God’s laws and commands makes for the best society. God’s designed society with order. Headship in marriage and in the church gives society that order.

I believed the best place for a woman was to be in the home, but I did not believe it was wrong for a woman to pursue an education and then a career. I did not believe it was wrong for a woman to be in leadership positions of business, politics or other places of society.

That was almost 20 years ago for me (as of the time of my writing this paper). What I did not realize is that I like most Complementarians had left some big questions unanswered.

  1. How can a woman pursue an education and a career without neglecting her first duty to her husband, her children and her home?
  2. How can a woman be in a position of authority over men, even in society? She can never be her husband’s authority, he is always her authority, Biblically speaking. She can never be her father’s authority either.   So for instance if a woman were to become mayor of the city she and her husband(or father) lived in, or governor of the state, they lived in, or President of the country they lived in – she would in essence be in authority over her husband – how could this be right or acceptable?

Then I came to realize that the complementarian views I had been raised with came about to soften the Bible’s teaching on the headship of man in society as feminism in American took root and these teachings became unpopular.

I realized that the complementarian beliefs that limit male headship to only the home and church were inconsistent with the Scriptures. God did not limit man’s authority over woman to only the church or the home, he meant for it to be present in the home, the church and society at large.

It is clear that God has designed a consistent pattern of authority to be followed in this world:

God the father is the authority of God the Son

God the Son is the authority of man

Man is the authority of woman

This does not change in this world. When God creates a new heaven and new earth, then this authority structure may be altered, but for now it remains.

I will talk on female prophets in another article but I will simply say this for now. A prophet does not always carry the same authority over others, sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. Deborah did not want to be in any authority position over men, they asked her to go with them into battle because they lacked the courage God expected of them. She even said to their shame that God would give their enemies into the hands of a woman. Deborah did not sit at the gates of the cities or go into the cities exercising authority over the people, the people simply came to her for advice as she sat under a tree outside the city gates.

Never once do we see Deborah defying her husband or taking authority over him. Never once do we hear Deborah crying for women to have equal rights with their husbands, or to be given more positions of authority in their society.

Removing the cultural lenses


Over the last 20 years I believe God has slowly taken me through the process of removing the 20th century American lenses from my eyes. Each of us is affected by the culture we live in, the trick is to recognize the cultural influences. Not all cultural influences are bad, but at the same time not all cultural influences are good.

As Christians we have to check our cultural influences by the only perfect measuring tool and that is the Bible. For instance, the Bible talks about freedom, but freedom in the Bible is not the same as how American culture views freedom. Biblical freedom has boundaries established by God, whereas American freedom has boundaries established by our Constitution. Many of our forefathers were Christians and there is a lot of Christian influence on how our government was formed. In the declaration of Independence our forefathers talked about the equality of man and rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that come not from men, but from God.

But at the end of the day – our Constitution, and by extension our culture, will allow us freedoms the Bible does not.   The Bible talks about not using our liberty to engage in sinful (unbiblical) behavior:

Galatians 5:13(NASB)

“For you were called to be free, brothers; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.”

I Peter 2:16(NASB)

“As God’s slaves, live as free people, but don’t use your freedom as a way to conceal evil.”

So no matter what freedoms our country or culture allows us, we must check that freedom with God’s Word. Let me give an example that I think Christian Feminists, Egalitarians, Complementarians and those who believe in Biblical Patriarchy.   Our culture allows men and women the freedom to live together and have sex outside of marriage, the Bible does not allow this freedom.

So how does this relate to gender roles? Many egalitarians and feminists ask today as these questions:

“How is it fair that man gets to pursue a career and woman must stay home to take care of her small children?”

“Why can they not share the duties of provision and care taking? Is she not as free as he is to pursue a career?”

The answer to both these questions is that woman does not have the same freedoms and responsibilities as man. She does not have the same freedoms, or responsibilities her husband has. She does not have the freedom to usurp authority over her husband, or man in general. She does not have the freedom to leave her responsibilities of caring for her children and her home to others so she can pursue a career.

Likewise, a man does have the freedom to leave his responsibility to provide and stay home and be a Mr. Mom. I know Mr. Moms exist, but this is completely and utterly unbiblical for man. It just as wrong for man to do this as it is for a woman to leave her infant child with others (even her husband) to pursue a career.   A man does not have the freedom to abandon his responsibility to lead the home to his wife. Even if his wife is more intelligent and talented then him, he must still exercise leadership. He should lean on his wife for advice like any other man should, but at the end of the day the leadership of the home is always his, he is not free to give this up.

A man does not have the freedom to not protect his family. If his family is threaten, he is to be the first line of defense in front of his wife and children, God hates cowardly behavior.

I am not against a woman working, woman have worked since the beginning of mankind.   But women in the Bible only worked outside the home for small amounts of time and their focus was always on their home, not what they did outside their home. If they had a business, like making clothes and linens, this was done from the home while they care for their children and home, they did not have careers outside the home like women today.

Speaking of freedoms, not only does the Bible sometimes not allow something that our cultural may allow, but sometimes it allows or grants rights or freedoms that our cultural does not allow. For example, I have the right to worship God as I believe he would have me do, and no Government has the right to stop me from worshiping as I will. Daniel prayed to God even though it might mean his death, we are called to do the same. We are told in these instances, that we are to obey God rather than man.

I believe God has given man the right of self-defense. So I have the right to defend my family, with firearms or whatever I think is right, even if the government tries to take those things away.

I was hesitant to reveal this next freedom I believe we have to this site. The reason is I don’t want it to be a distraction and I know a lot of Christians(most modern Christians), even complementarians and many Biblical Patriarchy advocates will disagree with me this. What I am talking about is Polygamy, or more specifically Polygyny. This is when a man has more than one wife. I realize just the discussion of this brings up all kinds of feelings in both men and women, but I would strongly argue that this is because of the culture we have been brought up in. In other cultures this is perfectly acceptable to both men and women.

As I said previously culture does not determine what is right or wrong, God does. The point of this site is not to promote polygamy, I am in monogamous marriage and intend to stay that way. My wife and I talked about my views of marriage, sexuality and even polygamy before we were married. She knows my views, and she agreed with them. We just agreed we were not going to practice polygamy, but that the practice itself is not wrong. We do not condemn the Biblical Patriarchs for their polygamous lifestyles and we believe it was allowed and even blessed by God. It was regulated in the Law of Moses.

The reason I bring up polygamy, even knowing the extremely negative connotation it has in our society, because you cannot have an honest discussion about how God has designed men and women, and more specifically man’s nature, without bringing up man’s polygamous nature.

Do I think a Christian man can successfully live in monogamous relationship even though I believe God designed him with a polygamous nature? Of course it’s possible and I and many other Christian men who live in monogamous Christian marriages are proof of that. But Christian men need their wives to understand their polygamous nature, in order to help the husbands have a successful monogamous relationship.

I will have more to say on this in a separate post. I truly hope and pray, that those of you reading this will not write off everything I have to say because you believe polygamy to be disgusting and against God’s design for marriage. I hope you will read what I have to say on the subject and hear me out first.

Even if you still disagree in the end, there is still a lot of Biblical truth on this site about God’s design for man and woman. Much of the struggles we have in our culture today is because we refuse to accept how God had designed man and woman. We tell men they should be more like women, and women they should be like men. We infuse our cultural values on the Bible and we refuse to take off our 20th century American lenses and see the Bible as it is, not as our culture would have it. I hope and pray you will open you mind and be able to recognize some of these truths.

All Men Are Created Equal — But What About Women?

TC is right that the Bible records a lot of wrong activity along with right activity. But the Bible does condemn things like “adultery, idol worship, unbelief, lies, and murder”, either in the actual passages where these things occur, or in other passages.

The Bible NEVER EVER condemns Patriarchy, it actually prescribes it. The Law of Moses forbids women from owning property, and it actually regulates how polygyny may occur.

In Genesis 1:27 we see that God created “man”, not woman in his own image. Some try to argue that the phrase “male and female created he them” implies both and woman were created in God’s image. That phrase is simply saying that man and woman were both made by God, not that woman was also made in God’s image.

The Apostle Paul confirms that this is the correct interpretation of Genesis 1 when he writes in I Corinthians 11:7 “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.”

TC asks how woman could be created in man’s image because that would mean man would have to have both feminine and masculine qualities. This would not necessarily have to be the case. When God created man in his image he started out with himself as the template. He gave man many of his qualities (but not all) and he gave man some qualities he does not have. For instance God does not have a sex drive, but God gave man a sex drive because it was part of his design for creation.

When God created woman, as opposed to starting out with himself as the template, he started with man as the template. But he did not give woman all the qualities of man, just as he did not give man all the qualities of himself. He made woman physically weaker than man, he made her more emotional and thus prone to depression easier (women have less serotonin than men). Instead of designing woman to lead as he did man, he designed woman to follow. He modified her design from the template of man to make her able to bear his children and be his helpmeet. He made her softer and gentler than man. But make no mistake, all the differences that God added in woman was to make her compliment man, to make her a perfect helper for man.

TC gets bogged down in the order of creation while ignoring clear passages of Scripture that clearly teach patriarchy. TC briefly alludes to I Corinthians 11 about man coming woman and woman from man – but TC misses one of the clearest statements in the Bible in the beginning of that passage that supports God’s design of patriarchy:

But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.

I Corinthians 11:3(KJV)

This is certainly not the only passage in the Bible where God orders patriarchy, but it is the best summary of the order established in God’s world.

So TC, we can see that not only from Genesis, but all throughout the Bible and culminating in the final writings of the New Testament that the egalitarian position actually looks pretty unbiblical.

The scourge of Feminism


Mankind has witnessed almost every type of wicked and sinful behavior imaginable since the beginning of history. But one evil had never before been witnessed in the history of the world until just the last 150 years, and that is the scourge of feminism.

In 1848, the first woman’s rights convention was held at Seneca Falls, New York. One of the most famous statements decreed at this convention was:

“He [the legislative and judicial patriarchy] has so framed the laws of divorce as to what shall be the proper causes, and in the case of separation, to whom the guardianship of the children shall be given as to be wholly regardless of the happiness of women–the law in all cases going upon the false supposition of the supremacy of man, and giving all power into his hands.”

In these early years of feminism some women and men thought they were fighting for simple fairness and justice. Many legitimate questions were raised:

Businesswoman asking why

Why should women not have the same rights as men?

Why should women not have a fair distribution of property and joint custody when being divorced?

In later years these questions would also be raised:

Why should women not have the right to vote?

Why should women not be paid the same as men for the same job?

Why should women not be able to lead companies?

What should women not be able to be politicians?

Why should women not be able to be soldiers in the army?

Why should women not have the right to do with their bodies as they will (abortion)?

How we answered the first question is how the scourge of feminism was born

Women should never have been granted the same rights as men, because women have a different role to play in society than men. Men are biologically designed to lead, conquer, provide and protect. Women are built to be soft and gentle, both physically and psychologically, to bring love and comfort to men, to bear their children and raise and care for their children.

The Bible tells us why men are designed bigger and stronger and aggressive, and why they are designed with a natural desire to lead, provide for and protect women. It is because God designed man in his image, in his likeness. Man’s leadership, protection and provision for woman is symbolic of God’s leadership, provision and protection of his people.

Woman on the other hand was designed as a symbol of God’s people. God meant for woman to submit to and serve man in the same way that all of mankind is meant to submit to and serve God. Her physical beauty is given her as a symbol of the beauty of God’s holy people, his church.

When the people of the Seneca Falls Convention questioned “the supremacy of man” over woman in society they were in essence questioning the supremacy of God over man, because the relationship between God and man is symbolized in the relationship between man and woman. Yes there have been female queens and prophets and other leaders earlier in history, but never had the supremacy of man over woman ever been questioned in the way the Seneca Falls Convention questioned it.

The effects of Seneca Falls Convention

Before the Seneca Falls Convention, divorce was almost non-existent in the United States. If a man and woman did divorce, the father would retain full custody of the children and all property, and his wife was lucky to leave with the clothes on her back.

After the Seneca Falls convention, for the first time in the history of mankind, a man’s wife and his children were no longer seen as his property. Over the coming decades women were granted property rights and women started be able to divorce their husbands and also retain custody of their children. While divorce of the 19th century was not as easy as the modern no fault divorce we have now, it was still encouraged by granting women new rights in divorce.

After women were given new rights to children and property in divorce, the divorce rate tripled in the United States, although still being low by today’s divorce rate of about 50%.

After 1848 women began gaining more and more rights until they finally gained the right to vote with the passage of the 19th Amendment in 1920. This was perhaps the most pivotal moment in the history of Feminism in the United States. Now women would be able to influence public policy and there would be no end to the rights and privileges they could grant themselves by electing politicians who would favor their causes.

The Second-wave feminism of the 1960s

The “second-wave” feminism of the 1960s began an all-out assault the traditional family. Women burned their bras and declared their independence from men. The patriarchal systems that had ruled mankind since the beginning of time needed to be torn down in their view.

They sued to have the right to abortion and the right to do as they would regardless of their husband’s wishes. No fault divorce began to spread throughout the country making divorce rates rise again. By the 1980s divorce rates in the United States rose to their peak of just over 50 percent and women had gained the right to murder their own children and their husbands had not a word to say about it.

The lasting consequences of the scourge of Feminism

Young couple having marriage problems

For the first time in the history of the world these things are now happening as a direct result of the scourge of Feminism:

Marriage is no longer the sacred institution it once was. Women end marriages based on their feelings, and not based on God’s law. Women are the ones who file for divorce in almost 70% of all cases.

A man’s wife can have an affair on him and then she can decide to leave him for another man, file for divorce and take full custody of his children and half or more of everything he owns.

A man’s wife can murder his unborn child without his knowledge.

Women can accuse men of sexual harassment with little or no proof, and men can lose their jobs and livelihoods as a result.

Women can sue companies for supposed “gender discrimination” when they don’t get promotions or treatment that they feel is “fair and equal”.

Those who hold to Feminist ideals have taken over government positions, institutions of higher learning, churches and communities and have engaged in an all-out assault on masculinity.

While divorce rates have tapered off, cohabitation rates have grown. If the separation of couples who have lived together in long term relationships were counted as divorce, the divorce rate would be far past 50 percent in the United States.

Because of the rebellion of modern women many men run from the idea of marriage. Why would a man want to marry a woman, knowing at any time she could take his children and half of everything he owns if he does anything to make her unhappy?

As a result we have an ever growing number of single mothers or divorced mothers raising children. Crimes rates are up, poverty rates are up, all because of the disintegration of the family unit which is a direct result of Feminism.

Not only has the family unit suffered, but the church and our communities have suffered as well. We have become soft toward crime and criminals, we have softened our approach to our enemies abroad. Feminism like a disease has spread to almost every corner of our society.

What can we do against these seemingly overwhelming odds?

For those of us who embrace God’s design of man, woman and the family there is still hope even in the midst of all the carnage that Feminism has created.

We need to encourage men to be men. To lovingly, but firmly lead and provide for their families. Fathers need to teach their boys to not be ashamed of their masculinity, but to embrace it. They need to be gentlemen, and leaders. Women need to be taught their place in God’s creation, both by the churches as well as their husbands. Women need to be taught to embrace the fact that God created them to be a gift to man, and their greatest honor is to bear and raise the children of mankind.

This will take a great deal of courage on the part of men and church leaders. I believe we also have to use tact in how we approach women with these subjects. We need to treat women with love and respect, but we also need to lead.

Bible passages like these need to be preached from the pulpits of churches all across America and husbands and fathers need to teach these truths to the wives and daughters:

“But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God…Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

I Corinthians 11:3 & 9(KJV)

“3 The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things;

4 That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,

5 To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”

Titus 2:3-5(KJV)

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

This new approach to directly confronting feminism in our homes and churches will not come without a cost. Pastors need to realize that some members will leave their churches when they stand on the Word of God and God’s design for man, woman and the family.

When men grow spines in their homes with their wives, their wives may threaten divorce or actually divorce them and they must be ready for this. There is no sin in a man standing for what is right, and if his wife leaves him for this the sin lies with her.

Single men when seeking wives need to be honest about their God given convictions. This might make finding a wife in America or other westernized countries more difficult and Godly Christian men may sometimes need to seek wives from countries abroad that have not been as poisoned by Feminism. I wrote another article where I talked about how Godly men can have the greatest influence through their relationships with their daughters.

We can begin to take back our society, one marriage, one family and one church at a time, if we will only have the courage to follow God’s ways and do what is right, no matter the cost.





Fathers can save our families from feminism


The relationship between Feminism and Socialism

It is no coincidence that the rise of Feminism and Socialism in America came about at the same time. Socialists knew that they could tug on the heart strings of women more than men who were guided by logic more than emotion. After women pressured their husbands to vote for women’s suffrage a never ending flood of socialist policies were passed because of women’s votes. Instead of following sound economic, military and moral polices, we are now a nation led by the motto – “If it feels good, we should do it”.

I know many Christians, both conservative and liberal, who don’t believe Christians need to be involved in politics. They think we should just reserve all our energy and ability for our churches and communities and leave politics to others. Others take the position that our vote does not matter anymore since our own supposedly conservative politicians have let us down so many times. I reject both of these positions.

The Bible says:

“Therefore to him that knoweth to do good, and doeth it not, to him it is sin.”

James 4:17

Fighting for what is morally right, from a Biblical perspective, is not an option for a Christian. It is his sacred duty. Even if sometimes we feel that we are in the minority, we must always fight for what is right, not necessarily what is popular.

I teach my children to be very active in politics and we regularly watch the news together and we discuss politics in light of the Bible as well as our founding father’s original intentions. But as important as it is to be involved as Christian in politics, at the end of the day we must realize that our ultimate salvation is not in the Republican Party, or even in the Tea Party, but it is in God.

We need strong Christian men to take a stand against Feminism

The remedy to this is strong Christian men. Men need to take back our society from feminism. As Christian men, we need to look for Proverbs 31 women, whose value is more than rubies. As believers the Bible tells us that we need to marry believers.

“Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? Or what does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?”

I Corinthians 6:14-15(NIV)

But the sad reality is that many Christian women today have bought into the lies of feminism. Christian men need to look for women who want to put their husbands, children and home first and work outside the home comes second to these things.   They need to RUN from women who want to give the majority of their time, talent and energy to a career and who want to leave their mothering and home care duties to others.

I realize in America that this is a tall order as the majority of women here are either moderately feminist, or extremely feminist. I don’t think men need to give up on American Christian women, but they need to search hard as there still are many gems out there. There are some good Christian dating sites that allow Christian men to find women who share their Christian values. Eventually though some men will have to look to other, less westernized nations where Christian women still embrace their God given role in the home.

Fathers can make the most impact on our nation

I know of many great Godly mothers who raise their daughters to follow God’s design for their life, to find a husband, get married and have lots of kids.

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

I Timothy 5:14(KJV)

They teach their daughters to respect their husbands, they teach their sons to love their wives, and they help to build the strong Christian families we need.

But sadly in many homes in this country, even in Christian homes, both conservative and liberal, women are not following God’s design for their lives. They put their careers before their husbands and they look at children as burden rather than a blessing. If they do want kids, they have one or two, under the guise of “being able to give them a better life”. When the child is a couple months old they drop the infant off in daycare with strangers and leave their God given duty of mothering to others. They give the majority of their time and talents to strangers, rather than their husbands, their children and their homes.

The reason I brought up men looking for good Christian wives who embrace their Biblical helpmeet role is that it will make their job as a husband and father much easier. When you are married to a woman who embraces God’s design for man and woman, you are both teaching your kids the same things and you have a much better chance of your children following those things as you and your wife model them for them.

But whether a man is married to a woman who is surrendered to God’s design for her life, or if he is married to a feminist who rejects God’s gender roles – his task is still to lead his home. He may not ever be able to change his feminist wife’s attitude, but he is to exercise his leadership whether she follows him or not.

The women that a man is called by God to have the most influence on, especially in teaching and molding to follow God’s design for their lives, is his wife and his daughters.

But while I do believe husbands are called to teach and help mold their wives, the reality is, if their wife is a feminist believer it will be very difficult to change that entrenched mindset.

I do not think we as Christian men should purposefully marry feminist women in order to attempt to change them. However the fact is many Christian men find themselves married to feminist Christian women due to a lapse in judgement on their part.  Lets face it, we as men can be blinded by our sexual attraction to a woman in the same way that a good Christian woman can be blinded by the flattering words of a man.

In this case if you wake up one day and realize “I married a Christian feminist!” there are still some things you can do.  In fact God expects you to do everything in your power to help your wife escape the sinful ways of feminism.

Some Christians falsely claim that all a Christian husband can do is pray for his wife and don’t get me wrong I believe in the power of prayer.  But would we say the same thing about a rebellious child? No.  We would say that a parent should do everything in their power to drive that rebellion from the child and only after they have exhausted everything in their power then they leave that child in the hands of God.

It is no different with a wife – for more on dealing with a rebellious wife see my post 7 ways to discipline your wife.

But in the end a wife can still reject the prodding of both her husband and the Holy Spirit of God and often women do because of years of cultural conditioning that has convinced them of their feminist views.

So this leaves daughters. Even more than men’s wives, most men can have a powerful influence on their daughters. Fathers can influence and teach their daughters, not only in word but in example. Even if their mother is a feminist, a father can fight against this influence by disciplining and loving  their mother and still exercising leadership. If a man is trying to lead his family in a loving way, and mom is constantly bucking at him trying to lead, a daughter will see this.

It is all in how the man reacts. If he reacts to his wife in an unchristian matter, than the daughter will learn nothing. But if he reacts in a weak manner, or yields control to her mother, his daughter may eventually come to see her mother’s feminism as a positive thing. But if he reacts in a firm, yet respectful way toward her mother, his daughter will learn and admire the strength a man is supposed to have.

Men not only need to demonstrate the strength and leadership God has called them to, but they also need to show their daughters the love and affection they need. They need to constantly find ways of teaching them about the world, and how God wants them to live their lives. They need to show their daughters the value of being a wife and mom, and help them to understand that only by accepting God’s design for their lives, will they find true happiness and contentment.

I have four sons and one daughter. My daughter is now a teenager. From the moment she was born, I realized I was raising another man’s wife and the future mother of his children. God has given me a temporary stewardship over her, and one day I will give her hand to another man.

I believe if more men had the courage to teach their daughters the wrongs of feminism, both from the Bible and from examples in the world we could turn this nation and the world around.

When men and women accept the roles for which God has designed them, we will have a stronger and more moral society. We will have stronger marriages, and as result we will have stronger families. With stronger families we will have stronger churches, schools, communities and ultimately a stronger nation.

Is it important how we raise our sons as well? Of course it is! See my post “16 Ways to Instill Biblical Masculinity in your Sons” for Scriptural leading in this very important area.

But I firmly believe we would have a lot less dead beat dads, and men who were unwilling to marry and take on the role of husband and father if there were more women who embraced their Biblical and biological design. If men knew they could find a wife who would respect them, follow them, love them more than herself, and embrace her place in the home then many more men would head to the marriage altar.

Is marriage a partnership or patriarchy?


It is very common in modern American culture to refer to one’s spouse as their “partner”. Even one of the definitions of partner according to Webster’s online dictionary is: “someone’s husband or wife or the person someone has sexual relations with”.

But often times what is read into “partner” is a “partnership of equals”, like two people who own a business together. They must agree on all decisions and if they don’t then have to go to court to settle their differences.  This idea of marriage being  a “partnership of equals” does not have any Biblical support whatsoever.

Take for instance the translation of the NIV:

Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

I Peter 3:7

I am not a KJV Only person. I quote from the KJV a lot on my site (if there is no version by a verse then it is KJV) but I also will quote from other versions like the NASB and sometimes I quote from the NIV. But the NIV really takes liberties with some passages and translations especially when it comes to gender and marriage and this is one of them.

Nothing in the original language(Greek) of this verse says anything about the wife being the weaker “partner”. The literal rendering is “weaker vessel”. Here is the KJV version of this verse:

 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I Peter 3:7

“Vessel” is referring to her body, including her emotional state. A woman’s emotion can sometimes be her greatest asset, and at other times her own greatest enemy. A man has to use wisdom in listening to his wife and understanding her insights. She is also weaker physically, but a man should never treat his wife with disrespect because she is the weaker vessel, instead he should honor her for the position that God has given her as his wife and the mother of his children.

This passage, rather than teaching equality in marriage, teaches that man and woman are equal heirs of the grace of God, men don’t get more grace then women, and women don’t get more grace then men. God loves us equally, and Jesus Christ died for men and women the same. In our souls men and women are completely equal.

Our vessels however –are not equal. Just as woman is the “weaker vessel”, man is the stronger vessel.

Rather than being a partnership of equals, marriage is actually a hierarchy which reflects God’s design in creation. In this same passage in I Peter just before God speaks to husbands about the proper treatment of their wives he speaks to wives about the behavior he expects them to have toward their husbands:

Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives;While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear.

 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.

For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.

 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.

I Peter 3:1-7

A wife is to “be in subjection” to her husband and have a “meek and quiet spirit”. She is to follow Sarah’s example who obeyed her husband and called him “lord”.  This does not paint a “partnership of equals”, but rather a leader and follower, a master and servant relationship, a hierarchy.

But obviously this is no ordinary hierarchy, because it is also a relationship based on love. Ephesians 5 beautifully shows how marriage is a hierarchical relationship that must be bathed in love:

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.

Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word,

 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.

So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:

For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.

This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband.

Ephesians 5:22-33

So again we can see the clear teaching that husbands are the head of their wives. God created a beautiful picture in marriage of the relationship between God and his people. Man is symbolic of God in marriage, and woman is symbolic of the people of God. Man is called to lead his wife as Christ leads the church and the wife is called to submit to her husband as the Church submits to Christ.

The scriptures are clear – marriage is a patriarchy (male lead), not a partnership.

If marriage could be compared to anything I believe a sports team would be a much better comparison. The husband and father would be the like the coach, the wife and mother would be like the team captain. The coach sets the polices and calls the plays, and the team captain carries out those polices on the field (the home) with the other players (the children). Just as a team captain has authority over the other players, so too the mother has delegated authority from the father over the children. Just as a team captain can influence a coach’s decisions, so too a wife and mom should be able to influence her coach’s (her husband’s) decisions.