In the previous post, we established the fact that there are masculine women and feminine men. But does God care if a man acts more feminine and woman acts more masculine? Does God care if a man is passive and would rather his wife lead his family? Does God care if a woman is more aggressive and assertive, or if she would rather be fighting on the battlefield then cooking for her family in the kitchen?
The answer is YES. God talks about gender issues all over the Bible. The genders are not made by accident, they were made by design.
The reality is no matter how feminine a man you may be, you are still a MAN.
No matter how masculine you may be as a woman, you are still a WOMAN.
God cares about how men and women dress
The Bible addresses the issue of women and men wearing different clothes:
“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman’s garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.”
It is interesting that God did not take cross dressing lightly, God calls it an “abomination” for a man to dress like a woman, or for a woman to dress like a man. The churches would do well to take this more seriously than we do in our modern unisex society.
God does condemns men dressing or acting as women or being homosexuals
I am not in any way saying that just because a woman has some masculine qualities or a man has some feminine qualities that they will automatically be drawn to cross gender behavior or homosexuality. But in extreme cases where a man is extremely feminine or a woman is extremely masculine this is often a much greater temptation.
“9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor homosexuals, 10 nor thieves, nor the covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers, will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 Such were some of you; but you were washed, but you were sanctified, but you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God.”
I Corinthians 6:9-11(NASB)
Let me also be clear after quoting I Corinthians 6 that being effeminate or a homosexual is one of many sins Christians may be tempted to do. It does not make you any less of a sinner if you are tempted to commit fornication or adultery, than to dress feminine or commit homosexual acts. We have a choice to fight our sinful nature or not fight it.
God wants men to lead, protect and provide for their wives and children
Whether a man feels assertive, or like a leader, God calls him to lead, protect and provide for his home.
“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.”
I Corinthians 16:13
“…fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.”
Nehemiah 4:14 (NASB)
“For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church…”
“Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.”
“But if anyone does not provide for his own, and especially for those of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.”
I Timothy 5:8(NASB)
“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children…”
“House and wealth are an inheritance from fathers…”
God calls women to help their husbands, bare children and keep the home
Whether you as a woman feel like being Betty Crocker or not, God has called you to the most sacred duty of being a help meet to your husband, the barer of his children and the keeper of his home.
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
I Timothy 5:13-15(KJV)
“…teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.”
“She looks well to the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.”
Women are to be respectful of the authority of men, and are not to be in dominate positions over men
Some women have a more dominate spirit about them, but that spirit by be channeled and conformed to God’s design for them as women. Women can lead and teach other women, and they can lead and teach their children. So if a woman is opinionated and strong-willed, this is where her abilities must be channeled to.
My daughter loves to write, and I hope she will use that someday perhaps in writing a Christian woman’s blog. There are many ways women can use their talents and abilities, but they must always make sure they are conforming to design God has made for them.
But the Bible is clear, that no matter how masculine a woman may be, she is never allowed to dominate men, and especially not her husband. Her spirit around men and her husband should be one of gentleness, quietness and respectfulness.
“But I want you to understand that Christ is the head of every man, and the man is the head of a woman, and God is the head of Christ.”
I Corinthians 11:3(NASB)
“But I do not allow a woman to teach or exercise authority over a man, but to remain quiet.”
I Timothy 2:12(NASB)
“…the wife must see to it that she respects her husband.”
“In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands… Your adornment must not be merely external—braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; 4 but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God.”
I Peter 3:1 & 3-4(NASB)
But why did God make me this way?
This is the inevitable question I have heard many times on many forums when the discussion of gender roles and femininity in men or masculinity in women is raised.
God originally designed man with a certain kind of nature. He designed him with a mind and body to lead, protect and provide. Anything that is in a man that is contrary to these traits is a corruption of our original God given design, the Bible tells us we are corrupted because of sin.
This does not mean that all sensitivity in man is a bad thing. Kind David was one of the manliest men in the Bible, yet he wrote and played some of the most beautiful music and poetry ever written. But this same sensitive musician, went out and killed the Giant Goliath for insulting his God and then cut his head off.
A man being more sensitive may help in a role as counselor or jobs that require a lot of creativity. So some feminine qualities in a man are not necessarily a bad thing. But the same qualities that make a man good at his job, make present him with challenges in his marriage and home life if he becomes passive and unambitious. A Christian man needs to recognize this and ask God for help in being the man in his home that he needs to be.
In the same way, the qualities of being ambitious and assertive may help a woman in teaching Sunday school or heading up a ladies group at church, or even writing a book or blog,. These qualities may even help her in teaching and disciplining her children, but being ambitious and assertive where she attempts to usurp her husband’s authority would be a misuse of these tendencies.
There is nothing wrong with a woman being competitive as she plays for the church ladies softball team, but her competitiveness may become a problem if she begins to compete with her husband for authority or control in her marriage. Such a woman needs to pray for God to channel her ambitiousness, assertiveness and competiveness in areas that do not violate God’s boundaries and God’s design.
Conclusion of Masculine women and Feminine Men Part 2
In this final part of my two part series on Masculine women and Feminine men we established that God does indeed care about there be a difference between the sexes, both in clothing and behavior.
Women are to be quite and gentle with men, and to have a submissive spirit about them. This gentleness, quietness and submissiveness is essence of femininity according to the Bible. While the statement is often derided in our modern culture, the Bible is clear that woman’s place is in the home. This does not mean she never leaves the home to do shopping or even perhaps run a business out of her home as the Proverbs 31 wife did. But everything she does, focuses back on the fact that God created her for her husband, her children and her home.
Men need to be assertive and ambitious, they need to lead and “act like men” as the Bible calls them to. In his home a man needs to take charge, and set the tone of his family. His leadership is to be firm, but loving just as God’s leadership is firm but loving to us. The father should instruct his wife and children in the ways of God’s Word. He is to provide for his wife the things she needs to make a home for him and his children. He should leave his children and inheritance. Everything he does should focus on how God would have him to lead, protect, provide for and ultimately love his wife and children.