“The normal love that a woman feels for a man was seen as some sort of mental illness, any desire to submit to the natural authority of a man within a marriage was seen as ‘oppressive patriarchy’. ” This is how Emma, a young student from Australia, described what was taught to her in a gender studies course at a university in Australia.
What Emma is describing is a sad but true reality in universities and colleges across not just America, but also the entire western world. See the rest of her comment below.
I just wanted to say how glad I am to find this site.
The reason I am moved to write to you is that I probably come from a ‘strange’ background for many of the people here. I am a single, 23 year old woman, studying for an undergraduate degree at a liberal University in Australia. I even did a unit of study in ‘genders studies’ last year !
Although almost all the students were women my age or younger who were vaguely interested in questions of gender and feminism, a large minority of us felt like quitting the course as we were amazed at the anti-male nature of the course. The normal love that a woman feels for a man was seen as some sort of mental illness, any desire to submit to the natural authority of a man within a marriage was seen as ‘oppressive patriarchy’. Some of the tutors even went so far as to say that ‘every woman’ was ‘raped’ whenever she had sex with a man: the reasoning was that as women are oppressed, women cannot meaningfully consent, and therefore any sex is rape.
The other women who felt like me were in a minority, but not as few as you might think. We know that women want to serve their husbands – everything from cooking nice food to pleasing him sexually. Some of us had had premarital sex (not everyone is perfect) but we wanted our future husbands to be submissive to the will of Our Father, just as we will submit to the will and guidance of our husbands. I have read everything on this website (although I knew most of the quotes already) and my feeling is that you are a Bible-believing Christian or you are not. If you do say you are a Bible-believing Christian – the Bible is pretty clear on women submitting to their husbands. Otherwise, it is a permanent battle for power that makes both people unhappy.
I am not married and am not even engaged. But when I do, it will be to a man who is obedient to Our Father, as I will worship our Father by being obedient to my husband. In my experience the women I know who have done this have been the happiest women I have seen, and live fulfilling and wholesome lives.
My Response to Emma
You are proof that God has reserved for himself a faithful remnant of women who who desire to remain faithful to God’s Word. It is not a matter of us being perfect, but it is a matter of us recognizing that he is perfect, his Word is perfect and his design of men and women is perfect. It is sin that has corrupted God’s design.
God speaks of those who would call good(women submitting to and serving their husbands) evil and evil(women’s rebellion toward their husbands) good:
“Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!“
Isaiah 5:20 (KJV)
Also we need to realize that the attack on men and masculinity in our culture is an attack on God himself as God says that men are the image and glory of God:
“For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.”
I Corinthians 11:7 (KJV)
The rebellion against man’s authority over women is an attack against God’s authority over all mankind because the relationship between a husband and wife is symbolic of the relationship between God and his people:
“22 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”
Ephesians 5:22-24 (KJV)
Just remember Emma that we are not to be conformed to the wicked pattern of this world but rather we are to measure our lives by God’s Word:
“And Jesus answered him, saying, It is written, That man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word of God.”
Luke 4:4 (KJV)
“And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.”
Romans 12:2 (KJV)
I pray God will give you the courage to continue to live according to his Word and his design and that you will be an example to the women around you.
5 thoughts on “Are women who want to submit to and serve their husbands mentally ill?”
I knew that the concept of wifely submission was not popular at universities, but it is so so sad to see it actually spelled out to students like this. And what do you want to bet that the same crowd that is espousing the idea that every time a woman has sex with a man it is rape, is the same crowd that calls the idea that a woman should save herself for marriage “slut shaming”.
Even at Christian universities, concepts of a Biblical marriage are not being taught. So while it is definitely worse at liberal campuses, unfortunately it is not only seen there.
1 Corinthians 2:14 But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned.
May I ask, but what are your thoughts on sugar babies?
I have actually had that brought to my attention by some other readers. It is definitely an unbiblical practice because it basically is legalized prostitution which the Bible condemns and Christians should not engage in this practice.
However there are are few things I would point out. The reality is that this practice has been occurring for thousands of years long before the advent of the internet. Young women would find rich male benefactors to get them what they wanted or needed.
It proves the point that men desire youth,beauty and variety(which is not sinful) and women want the provision and protection of men(which is not sinful either). Where the sin comes in is how we as men and women pursue our God given desires. Sometimes we may not be able to fulfill those desires for various reasons – a man may be poor and cannot marry or a woman may be very unattractive and no man wants her.
It also proves something else. Women are capable of sexually pleasing a man by making a choice to do so. They don’t have to be wined and dined and romanced. They are capable of having sex simply because it is their duty to do so. While it is sinful that these men are seeking out prostitution with these young women we must realize that in many cases the first sin occurred with their wives sexually denying them. It is ironic that a 20 year old woman with absolutely no emotional attachment or attraction to an older man will have sex with him for what he provides for her but his wife to whom offers this same provision and so much more will not do the same.
Emma is so right, a marriage based on God’s perfect plan of a wife submitted to her husband is a happy marriage. God blessed me with a husband who loves the Father and puts Him first in all things. Because of that he treats me like a princess and truly loves me as Christ loves the church.
This is a second marriage for both of us, our first marriages both ended due to affairs by our X spouse’s before we met each other.
So many women think being submissive means we are a door mat or are being abused by our husbands. Nothing could be further from the truth. My husband is interested in hearing my opinions and respects my thoughts. He would never think of being abusive to me. Final decisions are always his to make and I stand by whatever he decides.
Being in a Christian based marriage is so full of joy! I have never been happier.
I am 57 years old, disabled with a long list of chronic illnesses that keep me in a lot of pain and limit what I can do. I also have a rare disease that I have to take steroids for the rest of my life that have caused me to gain weight. Many people ask how I can be so happy all the time or why I don’t blame God for my health issues. I thank Him for them, they have taught me compassion, given me the opportunity to become closer to my Savior and so much more. My husband joyfully does the housework when I can’t, has learned to give me my injections when I need them.
I wish all women could know the joy of loving the Father, having a God fearing husband and being submissive to him.