For years I repeated something that I now realize was false. Not maliciously, not carelessly, but because — like so many Christians today — I was shaped by a modern church culture that treats certain ideas as unquestionable truths simply because they get repeated often enough.

I never believed husbands and wives “submit to each other” in marriage. Ephesians 5:22–24 is too clear for that. But I did believe in a kind of horizontal, peer-level, “mutual submission” between Christians — men to men, and women to women — based on Ephesians 5:21. I taught it in podcasts. I referenced it in articles. I assumed it because pastors, seminary professors, and modern commentaries told me it was there.

But I was wrong.

Not partially wrong. Not “slightly off.”
Completely wrong.
Ephesians 5:21 does not teach mutual submission of any kind — not in marriage, not in the church, not anywhere.

And the reason is actually very simple once you shed the modern evangelical fog and look at the Greek text:

👉 The Greek word for “submit” (hypotassō) always refers to one-way submission to rightful authority. It never describes reciprocal submission between equals.

There is no such thing as “mutual submission” in the Bible.
The very phrase is an oxymoron — like:

• a “mutual hierarchy,”
• a “two-way chain of command,”
• a “commander who obeys his own soldiers,”
• or a “vegetarian carnivore.”

The words cancel each other out.
“Submission” means ordered ranking.
“Mutual” means no ranking at all.
Combine them, and you get nonsense.

What changed my mind was not cultural pressure, but the actual Greek grammar of Ephesians 5 — something I had not examined deeply enough before now.

In this article, I want to set the record straight and correct my past teaching. Not to save face, but to honor Scripture.

---

Ephesians 5:21 in Greek — What It Actually Says

Let’s begin with the text in Greek.

Ephesians 5:18–21 is one long sentence built around a single command:

“Be filled with the Spirit…” (v.18)

Everything that follows — speaking, singing, giving thanks, and submitting — are not commands at all. They are participles describing the results of Spirit-filled worship among believers:

• speaking to one another
• singing
• giving thanks
• submitting to one another

These are not hierarchical commands.
These are not authority structures.
They are descriptions of corporate church life.

In other words:

👉 Verse 21 belongs to the general life of the church, not the authority structures of the home.

It describes the tone of Christian fellowship: humility, deference, respect.

But it is not describing the roles inside the home.

---

The Hinge — How Paul Moves From Church Life to Family Authority

Verse 21 is what scholars call a hinge verse. It concludes one section and introduces the next.

The sections are:

Spirit-filled behavior in the gathered church (5:18–21)

This includes singing, thanksgiving, humility, general deference between spiritual siblings.

God-ordained authority structures in the household (5:22–6:9)

This includes:

• wives → husbands
• children → parents
• servants → masters

These relationships are not reciprocal.
They are directional.

Ellicott’s Commentary (a 19th century source with no modern agenda) states:

“Verse 21 is grammatically connected with the preceding verses;
in point of idea it leads on to the next section.”

Exactly.

Paul finishes talking about spiritual siblings in the church, and then immediately turns to authority relationships in the household.

This shift is absolutely clear when you reach verse 22:

“Wives, to your own husbands…”

Yes — verse 22 leaves out the verb “submit.”
Why? Because Greek often uses ellipsis: dropping a repeated verb when the meaning is obvious.

But — and this is vital —
the direction of the submission is defined by what follows, not what came before.

And the following verses (5:23–24) make the direction impossible to mistake.

---

The Greek Word Hypotassō — Submission Is ALWAYS One-Way

Here is the knockout punch:

👉 The Greek word for “submit” (hypotassō) never describes reciprocal or mutual submission.
Never. Not one time in Scripture. Not one time in ancient Greek.

Its meanings include:

• to arrange under
• to rank beneath
• to subject to authority
• to place in order
• to subordinate oneself

It is used of:

• citizens submitting to rulers
• servants submitting to masters
• younger submitting to older
• the church submitting to Christ
• wives submitting to husbands

There is no verse in Scripture — none — where hypotassō means:

• “submit equally back and forth,”
• “take turns with authority,” or
• “everybody submits to everybody.”

That is a completely modern invention.

Mutual submission is as nonsensical as:

• “co-equal subordination,”
• “shared hierarchy,”
• or “bosses who obey their employees.”

There is no such category — not linguistically, not culturally, not biblically.

---

Why the Egalitarian Reading Fails Immediately

If Ephesians 5:21 taught “everyone submits to everyone,” then the passage that immediately follows would become absurd.

Paul would be saying:

• parents must submit to children,
• masters must submit to servants,
• husbands must submit to wives.

But he explicitly says the opposite.

And Paul doubles down in 5:23–24:

“For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church…”

This is one-directional.
There is no reciprocity.
Christ is not mutually submitting to the church.

If you insist that verse 21 means “mutual submission,” then verse 23 becomes impossible.

“Mutual submission” breaks the logic of the entire passage.

---

Why I Was Wrong — A Confession and Correction

For many years, I tried to reconcile Ephesians 5:21 with Ephesians 5:22–24 by inventing a category of “mutual submission among equals.”

I taught that:

• wives submit to husbands (correct),
• but Christians also mutually submit to each other in non-hierarchical ways (incorrect).

What I failed to recognize is that:

👉 Ephesians 5:21 is not introducing a doctrine of mutual submission — it is concluding a description of Spirit-filled church life.

It is part of a sentence about singing and thanksgiving, not a sentence about marriage or family structure.

There is no such thing as “mutual submission” anywhere in Scripture.

And because I have taught this incorrectly in the past, I want to correct it publicly now and point my readers to the truth of the Word.

---

The “Children Illustration” — Why Mutual Submission Is Absurd

To expose the absurdity of the modern reading, imagine taking Ephesians 5:21 to its logical conclusion:

Parents must submit to children.
Bosses must submit to employees.
Husbands must submit to wives.

We instinctively know this is absurd — because Scripture rejects it.

But this absurdity is exactly what egalitarians must embrace if they read verse 21 as “everyone submits to everyone.”

“Mutual submission” is a myth created by people who want verse 21 to undo the plain meaning of verses 22–24.

It doesn’t.

---

The True Flow of Ephesians 5

Once you understand the Greek grammar, the structure is beautifully simple:

Spirit-filled church life →
Household authority structures.

Verse 21 ends the first section.
Verse 22 begins the second.

There is no contradiction.
There is no flattening of hierarchy.
There is no mutual submission.

There is:

• humility within the church,
• and authority within the home.

This is why the early church, the Reformers, and every major commentator prior to the 20th century understood Ephesians 5 exactly the same way:

Wives submit to husbands.
Children submit to parents.
Servants submit to masters.
The church submits to Christ.

Never the other way around.

---

Final Thoughts — Returning to Biblical Order

The myth of mutual submission is just that — a myth.
It survives only where the Greek text is ignored or where modern ideology is allowed to override Scripture.

But God’s design is consistent:

• Men lead.
• Women follow.
• Children obey.
• Servants serve.
• The church submits to Christ.

There is humility for all — but submission is always one-way.

My prayer is that this article helps Christians see the beauty of God’s order and the clarity of His Word, free from the distortions of modern evangelical culture.

“Let God be true, and every man a liar.” (Romans 3:4)