Is God more like man, more like woman, or a combination of the two?

IsGodBothMaleFemale

Does Genesis 1:27 tell us that “God created both man and woman equally in his image” as we are so often told by Christian Feminists, Egalitarians and even many conservative Bible teachers? Does this passage or the surrounding passages show that God split his attributes between man and woman – so that only together do they form the true image of God?

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and female created he them.”

Genesis 1:27(KJV)

Every Word of the Bible is important, that is one of the tenants of our faith. I don’t want to lose you with technicalities, so we will look at the two most important words in this key passage of Scripture which will help to set the tone for this discussion. The words are “man” and “him”.

A Quick Bible History Lesson

The Old Testament was originally written in the Hebrew language. One of the words translated as “man” comes from the Hebrew word “adam”. “adam” is both the name of the first man, as well as a word used to reference all of mankind (all humanity, men and women). In Genesis 1:27, the Hebrew word here is “adam”.

Is the “adam” of Genesis 1:27 referring to “mankind” (all human beings) or is it referring particularly to Adam, and the male gender of humanity?

The exact Hebrew phrase here is eth haa-‘adam. “eth” literally means “this same”, and “haa” is similar to our English word “the”. Literally this phrase could be “this same man” or “the same man”. In any case, it refers very particularly to Adam, not mankind in general. This is why it is correct that that translators accurately add the phrase “created he him”. The “him” here, refers to a particular person – to Adam.

But What About “male and female created he them”?

The phrase “male and female created he them”, refers to the fact that God created both man and woman. It does not mean that he created them at the same time or that he created them both in his image. We can clearly see that this is not the case from Genesis chapter 2 when Eve was created from Adam’s rib.

Woman Made in the Image of God But is Not the Image of God

God gave the following command to Noah after the flood as part of his Noahic Covenant:

Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man.” –  Genesis 9:6 (KJV)

This passage is different from Genesis 1:27 in that there is no qualifier saying this is talking about about a particular man – that being Adam.   The context of this passage indicates that “man” in this passage represents all people, all of mankind which includes both men and women.  So while Genesis 1:27 does not specifically say woman was created in God’s image, Genesis 9:6 does in say she was.

If this was the last revelation from God on how he created men and women then we might conclude that man and woman were created in God’s image in the same way or equally.

However, in the New Testament the Apostle Paul is given divine commentary from God on the Genesis account where he states:

For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.” – I Corinthians 11:7 (KJV)

The Greek word translated as “man” in this passage above is “male”.  So it in its most literal form it is saying “For the MALE indeed out not to cover his head, for as much as he is the image and glory of God, but the FEMALE is the glory of MALE”.

Genesis 1:27 says the particular man, Adam was created in God’s image and that God made both male and female human beings.  Genesis 9:6 says that God created all mankind in his image, including men and women, and this is why it is wrong to murder and this is why all human life has special value to God.  But then I Corinthians 11:7 states that the male is the image and glory of God but the female is the glory of the male.   So how do we harmonize all of these statements about men and women being created in the image of God?

The answer is the word “is“.  Look Genesis 9:6 and I Corinthians 11:7 again compared side by with the special emphasis I show below:

Genesis 9:6 (KJV) Corinthians 11:7 (KJV)
“Whoso sheddeth man’s blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God MADE he man.” “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he IS the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.”

Both man and woman were MADE in the image of God, but only man IS the image God.  that is a fundamental truth of the Scriptures.  But what is this difference that the Scriptures are communicating between “made” and “is”.   I think the best way to describe this is to look at the table below illustrating the characteristics of God’s image in both men and women.

The word “characteristic” can be used as both a noun and an adjective.   When used in as a noun a characteristic describes something that is a distinguishing trait or something that is an integral part of something or someone.  When used as adjective is refers to something that is typical of something or someone.

So if we look at the characteristics of God in the above table we can see in the middle the characteristics that both man and woman share with God.  These characteristics of self-awareness, speech, creativity, morality and emotions are what separate man and woman from the animals.

So when God says in Genesis 9:6 that mankind, both men and women, were made in the image of God it is these shared attributes of humanity to which God is referring. And it is these attributes of God’s image that gives value to every single human life.

But if you look at the chart above again you will notice something else.

While male human beings do not have all the characteristics of God in that they lack God’s deity characteristics there is nothing that is characteristic of Man that is not also characteristic of God.  The same cannot said for female human beings.  There are many traits that are characteristic of women that are not characteristic of God.

And this is why we can rightly say based upon the Word of God that while both man and woman were MADE in the image of God that only man IS the image of God.

Some may contend that that God can demonstrate some of the qualities of the feminine human nature as well.  For instance God will sometimes act in empathetic ways.  Others will point to Christ’s submission to the Father or Christ’s gentleness in some situations.

But if we look at men, can  even the most masculine man sometimes act in ways that are more typical for feminine behavior? Do men sometimes show empathy? Yes.  Do men sometimes cry as women do? Yes.  Can men be gentle and caring as women are sometimes? Yes.  But the question is this – is this behavior typical for men or characteristic of men?  The answer is no.

In the same way God may act in more feminine ways at times but this is the exception and not characteristic or typical of his behavior.

The truth of God’s Word is that while man and woman were both made in the image of God, it is the masculine human nature which more closely represents the image and character of God.

Why Does This Matter?

Some will continue to reject what I have shown here from the Word of God, even though it is plainly in front of them. They will reject 99 percent of references to God in the masculine sense, and cling to those 1% of references to God that seem to be indicating a feminine sense.

But others who may accept this on face value, still might ask – “why does it matter if God’s image is more accurately represented in “masculine humanity” than in “feminine humanity”?

We don’t teach this belief to belittle women, or to say that men have more value to God than women. If any person is reading that into my words here, I have said no such thing. Every human being, whether they are male or female, have equal value to God. In fact in I Peter 3:7, men are commanded to honor their wives as “the weaker vessel” and we are told in Ephesians 6:2 to honor our mothers.

But understanding that God’s image is best reflected in that of masculine humanity, and not as well in feminine humanity is very important.

Today masculinity has come under massive attack because of modern feminism and egalitarianism, men are constantly called to be more like women. But would any Christian leaders today have the courage to say women ought to try and emulate men more?

How Should Women Try to Emulate the Image of God in Men More?

By “emulate men more”, I don’t mean women need to start dressing or acting exactly like men – we already have way too much that today! What I mean is that women ought to try and emulate the sense of duty that many men have, rather than living their lives completely by their feelings.

  1. Do your duty toward God, even when you don’t feel like it, or don’t feel his presence.
  2. Do your duty toward your husband, even when you don’t feel like it, or perhaps don’t feel an emotional connection with him.
  3. Do your duties as mother toward your children, even when you do not feel like doing them, and even when you don’t feel appreciated by your children.
  4. Do your duties toward your home, and keep up your home even when you don’t feel like it.

God’s Love is More Often Seen as a Love Founded in a Commitment of the Will, a Duty

When the Bible famously says in I John 4:8, that “God is love” it is literally saying God is “Agape”.

Agape love is a love of the will, of duty and commitment, and this is the way that God’s love is most often described, it is not a love based in emotion. It is the strongest kind of love, and an unconditional kind of love. The emotional type of love, Philia love, is used far less to describe the kind of love God has towards us, or that we are to have toward God.

This is another way in which women should try to emulate men more. Women most often love based on feelings, or how others make them feel. Men more often love from a sense of will, duty and commitment, this is the driving force of how God loves us. A woman should try to emulate this Agape love that men usually possess more naturally than women often do.

Please don’t misunderstand me, I am not saying women need to become exactly like men, God created women with the natures they have for a reason. God purposefully made woman both emotionally weaker and physically weaker (“the weaker vessel”) so that he could demonstrate his strength in woman’s weakness.

“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

I Corinthians 12:9(KJV)

Just as God made all of humanity(both men and women), weaker than him, so that he could demonstrate his strength and glory in us, so too woman was made weaker than man, so that man could exercise the image of God within him, by being a strength for her.

Conclusion

I hope as both men and women, we will all seek to emulate God more each day in our lives. The battle with our sin and pride will never end until God takes us out of these sin cursed bodies. As Christians, we ought to honor true and Biblical masculine qualities, and not belittle them or engage in the misandry(hatred of all things male) that we too often see today in our TV shows, books and schools. But in our honoring of true Biblical masculinity, we ought never to dishonor women, but continue to honor them as the “weaker vessel” as the Apostle Peter commanded us to do.

What things light your spouse’s fire?

Fireplace_Burning

With the Christmas season upon us, I thought I would give some tune up advice on marriage (which we all need from time to time). What are the things that light your spouse’s fire? What things make them feel loved and make them more loving toward you? What things make them feel unloved? If someone asked you to list these things out – could you?

In two previous posts, I discussed “The twelve attributes of marital love” and “Is attraction required for marriage?” I built the case from a Biblical perspective that there are two kinds of love within marriage.

The Bible speaks of three types of love in the context of marriage:

Sexual love(Eros) – This is a love based on sexual attraction. It is the initial driving force for most men seeking out women for marriage. A woman may be sexually attracted to a man as well before marriage or she may grow to be sexually attracted to him after marriage. The Bible has entire book dedicated to this type of love, the Song of Solomon.

Emotional, or Friendship love(Phileo) – This is love based on either romantic feelings between a man and woman, feelings of infatuation, or love that is based on common interests. This kind of love is almost 100% based on how much each person puts into the relationship, whether it is a same sex friendship, a dating relationship, or a marriage.

Choice love(Agape) – This love is not based on feelings toward one’s spouse, and it is not based on sexual attraction toward one’s spouse. Instead it is based in the choice a person made when they entered into a covenant of marriage with their spouse. In choosing to enter into that covenant, they have committed to performing certain actions toward their spouse regardless of their feelings or sexual attraction at any given future time. This is why in addition to calling Agape a “choice love”, it is also a “commitment love” and an “action love”.

Most people think there is only one kind of love in marriage, unconditional love. It is true that unconditional love (Agape love) is the only required loved in a marriage.

For most couples having a friendship and romantic love takes a lot of work, and often times it fades and needs to be rekindled.

If I were to sum up the articles I have written on this subject, it would be that we are required to show love toward our spouse in these ways:

Be kind to them, even when you don’t feel like being kind. This kindness includes having sex with them, even when you don’t feel like it (the Bible calls sex a required “kindness” in marriage).

Support them, even when you don’t feel like supporting them.

Sacrifice yourself for them, even when you don’t feel like it.

Protect them, and their honor, even when you don’t feel like it.

Forgive them with an unending forgiveness, even when you don’t feel like it.

Now one would think that if a spouse loved someone the way I just described, that Phileo love (romantic friendship love), would naturally come from this. But the truth is, this is not always the case. Many Christian marriage books give couples false hope that these things alone will help to spark romantic and friendship love in a marriage, but this is simply not true.

More is required for Phileo (romantic friendship love) in marriage

Phileo (romantic friendship love) in a marriage is NOT an unconditional love. In fact it is a VERY conditional love. You get what you put into it, plain and simple.

The Bible says in the Galatians 6:7;

“…for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.”

Galatians 6:7(KJV)

The law of sowing and reaping very much applies to Phileo love in marriage. You get what you put into it, if you want Phileo love (romantic friendship love) you have to put something in to get it.

His and Her Fireplaces

FirePlacesHisHers

At the beginning of this post I showed an image of fire place. I believe that is a great way to describe Phileo love in marriage (as opposed to Agape love). You and your spouse both have Phileo love fireplaces:

In the man’s fire place I put respect and sex. In the woman’s fire place I put Talk and Time.

And yes I reference sex in the man’s fire place and not in the woman’s. I am NOT saying women don’t want sex or don’t have a desire for sex. But things like talking and time spent together, especially going on dates, is what lights most women’s fire and gives women the desire to have sex.

There are many other types of logs a man and woman may need besides these two things, but I can tell you that for the vast majority of men and women, these are the bare minimum requirements to stoke the fires of friendship and romance in a marriage.

Without these things, don’t be surprised if your relationship grows stale and cold.

So for guys, if you are wondering why its been a long time since your wife wore that special lingerie for you, or why she has been crabby and disrespectful toward you, first ask yourself when the last time you sat down and really talked with your wife. When was the last time you took her out on a date?

For the gals, if you husband has not taken you out in a while, or perhaps he is not spending much time talking to you – as yourself when was the last time you rocked his world in the bedroom? Or maybe you have been having a disrespectful attitude toward him?

An astute observer who knows the Scriptures well might point out a key issue here.  Wives are commanded to respect their husbands in the Scriptures. Wives are also commanded to have sex with their husbands in the Scripture.

So in essence this answers the age old question about sex and romance – it is the chicken and egg question. Which comes first, sex or romance? Since sex is required, and romance is not this tells us which one comes first.

Ladies – most men are simple creatures, you show a man respect, and give him the gift of your body that God has blessed him with, and most men will crawl over hot coals to show you how much they love you. It really is that simple.

Ways the fire goes out

The three main ways that His or Her love fire place go out are:

Neglect – just not doing anything. It’s not that you did anything unkind toward your spouse. It’s just that you have not put any new wood into their fireplace lately.

Unkindness – Criticism in a marriage or degrading your spouse will in any way is like taking a bucket of water over to their fire place and pouring it on it.

Disagreements – Sometimes you feel like you need to say something to your spouse. You know it may end in a disagreement, or heated discussion. Just realize when you do this you might be taking a bucket of water and pouring it on their fire. So choose your battles wisely, always ask yourself – “is it worth it?” Many a couple routinely knock out each other’s fireplaces with disagreements that did not need to be said.

But let me clarify something on this disagreement section. Sometimes a spouse must speak up, knowing that it will upset the other spouse. There has been many a time that I voiced a concern with my wife, knowing it might cost me something for a little a while. If this is done for the right reasons, and a Godly purpose, you must do this.

But then realize that you need to come back and rekindle the fires of Phileo love again in that spouse.

Conclusion

While Phileo (friendship romantic) love is never commanded in marriage (as opposed to Agape love which is), it is something worth striving for. It definitely makes it much easier to love your spouse with an Agape love, when you have a Phileo love as well.

Also I believe that while God does not specifically command Phileo (friendship romantic) love in marriage, he wants us to do everything with all our might. He wants us to do everything to the best of our ability, to enjoy being with that person he has placed us with in marriage.

So if you don’t know what lights your spouse’s fire – then find out today! Talk to them and strive for your marriage to be the best it can be, not merely meeting the minimum requirements.

Feel free to comment and share some things that you know make your spouse feel loved and stoke the flames of romance in your marriage.

The 2 REAL reasons divorce and cohabitation rates are so high

DivorceCohabit

Divorce and cohabitation – what could they have in common? And how could anyone reduce the reasons for such complex things as divorce and cohabitation to just two sources? The answers are simpler than you think, and statistically they are staring you the face.

Look up any government or private surveys or stats on marriage, and while there may be many differences, they all agree that divorces rates are high, and so are cohabitation rates.

Divorces rates reached their peak in the 1980’s, and then declined a bit after that but they still hover around 50%. The dirty little secret is, the only reason divorce rates in the United States stabilized around 50% is because since the 1980’s cohabitation in the United States has dramatically increased.

“Three of four women in the U.S. have lived with a partner without being married by the age of 30, an increasing trend that suggests cohabitation is now a regular part of family life in the U.S., researchers said.”

http://www.bloomberg.com/news/2013-04-04/unmarried-couples-living-together-is-new-u-s-norm.html

“The United States currently is witnessing a dramatic rise in the percentage of couples whose first union is not a marriage but cohabitation, a new federal government report confirms…

The report shows that while cohabiting couples often marry at some point, cohabitations frequently dissolve within five years or much less time. “Cohabitations typically are short-lived,” the report observes, though it stresses that cohabitations last somewhat longer now than 10 years ago.”

http://www.foryourmarriage.org/rising-cohabitation/

The reasons typically stated for high divorce and cohabitation in the United States

Many articles online and elsewhere will try and give various reasons for high divorce rates and high cohabitation rates. Often times high cohabitation rates are attributed to more economical reasons. Couples simple cannot afford to marry, or least no marriage before the age of 30.

Adultery and abuse account for only 10 to 20% of the reasons for divorce, while 80 to 90 percent of divorces today are for other reasons. Most divorces occur because of couples fighting over money or career issues, how to raise children, lack of intimacy and not spending time together.

The real 2 reasons for high cohabitation and divorce rates in the United States

The first reason that couples in the United States are increasing living together out of marriage, or married couples are divorcing at higher rates is because of one word – CHOICE.

I love freedom. Our American forefathers loved freedom. But the freedom they originally gave our new nation, enshrined in our original Constitution and Bill of Rights, was a limited freedom. It was difficult to divorce, and it was practically impossible to cohabitate in America as it was founded.

I love the freedom with which America was originally founded, not the perverted freedom (anarchy) that we have today.

Yes people still fornicated, as they always have since the beginning of mankind. But it was considered a shame, and it was kept secret, and the consequences could be dire to both parties if discovered.

It was rare for men to divorce their wives, and most women were never able to leave their husbands because of property laws and the fact if a woman divorced her husband, she would leave her children and everything behind.

CHOICE – People had no choice but to marry, and stay married, up until the mid-19th century with the rise of Feminism which then gave birth to the sexual revolution of the 1960’s.

The second reason we have such high divorce and cohabitation rates in the United States is actually the source for the first reason, the SECULARIZATION of our culture. We have given people the choice to cohabitate and divorce because we have left what used to form the basis for our moral values, and that was the Bible. Since we have no moral foundation, anything goes.

The nation of Israel in the Bible went through times like we see today when “Every man did that which was right in his own eyes.” Judges 21:25(KJV)

Our founding fathers fought for religious liberty, not for removal of all religious influence on society.

“To the kindly influence of Christianity we owe that degree of civil freedom, and political and social happiness which mankind now enjoys. . . . Whenever the pillars of Christianity shall be overthrown, our present republican forms of government, and all blessings which flow from them, must fall with them.”

(Source: Jedidiah Morse, A Sermon, Exhibiting the Present Dangers and Consequent Duties of the Citizens of the United States of America (Hartford: Hudson and Goodwin, 1799), p. 9.)

It is no coincidence that as church attendance has declined in this country over the last century that divorce and cohabitation have spiked. We give people a choice to cohabitate and divorce because we have no moral center anymore – we can do whatever we want.

A man can go and impregnate as many women outside of marriage as he so chooses, as long as he pays the child support. Or if he is smart and uses a condom, he can sleep around with as many women as he wants with no worries, and no judgment from our society.

Women routinely place their education, careers and hobbies above the most important functions for which they were designed – being a wives and mothers. Because of modern birth control, women can freely sleep with as many men as they want as they pursue money and pleasure.

Conclusion

People are not cohabiting together because of economic reasons – the real reason is because we as a society have given people the CHOICE to live together outside of marriage.

Couples are not divorcing because of lack of intimacy, lack of romance, or disagreements over raising children or careers, the real reason people are divorcing is because we have given them a CHOICE to divorce for ANY reason(there are Biblical reasons for divorce, but they are few).

The reason we give people a CHOICE today to cohabitate and easily divorce is because we have allowed our nation to become SECULARIZED, we have pushed God completely out of our cultural and legislative institutions, and in our churches Pastors have so watered down the Word of God (because of fear of offending people or bucking cultural changes) that people no longer know right from wrong.

What can we do about this?

There is no question today that there has been a culture war going on within the United States for well over 100 years. There has been a war over what “freedom” means. Some choices that we used to have, that our nation was originally founded with, have been take away. Other choices that our founders never intended for us to have, and would have been considered immoral, have been granted and given the full protection of our local, state and Federal governments.

Some have fought for an idea of freedom that protects behavior that previous generations would have never have allowed. These same groups that have fought for these new found freedoms to commit immoral behavior, have in turn fought to restrict the freedoms that our for fathers originally fought for, especially in being able to publically call out immoral behavior exactly for what it is.

As individuals, it may seem that there is little we can do to change our culture back to the Godly culture it once was. What we can do is take responsibility for ourselves and our families. Men need to take a stand and teach their wives and children’s God’s Word. Then as we take back our families and marriages for Christ, we can then turn to taking back our Churches and encouraging our Pastors to preach the whole counsel of God, not just what they think will be politically correct.

Once our Churches and church leaders have been emboldened to stand for God, we can then begin taking back our neighborhoods, towns and eventually our State and Federal Government for Christ.

We used to have a government and culture that believed in freedom, but it was a freedom that was limited within the boundaries of a Biblical Christian worldview.

CHOICE is both the problem WITH and solution TO America’s cultural decline. We have to choose to follow a Biblical world view, no matter how socially or politically incorrect it may be. We need to influence our culture to remove the CHOICE to commit immoral behavior. But in order to do that, we need to agree on what immoral behavior is, and the only we can do that is by returning to a Biblical foundation as our standard for moral or immoral behavior.

Patriarchy is Biblical in society, not just the home and church

Open Bible, with textured granite background.

I was raised in mostly conservative Baptist complementarian churches. I even researched my complementarian views in my early 20’s (along with everything else I believed). I questioned many things, read many comparative religion books as well as writings on equal rights and feminism in particular.

I came to the conclusion that the complementarian teaching I had learned was not only Biblical, but logical as well. I believed and saw that science confirms that man and woman, though they are both human, are designed with different purposes in mind. I believed (and still believe) that freedom within the bounds of God’s laws and commands makes for the best society. God’s designed society with order. Headship in marriage and in the church gives society that order.

I believed the best place for a woman was to be in the home, but I did not believe it was wrong for a woman to pursue an education and then a career. I did not believe it was wrong for a woman to be in leadership positions of business, politics or other places of society.

That was almost 20 years ago for me (as of the time of my writing this paper). What I did not realize is that I like most Complementarians had left some big questions unanswered.

  1. How can a woman pursue an education and a career without neglecting her first duty to her husband, her children and her home?
  2. How can a woman be in a position of authority over men, even in society? She can never be her husband’s authority, he is always her authority, Biblically speaking. She can never be her father’s authority either.   So for instance if a woman were to become mayor of the city she and her husband(or father) lived in, or governor of the state, they lived in, or President of the country they lived in – she would in essence be in authority over her husband – how could this be right or acceptable?

Then I came to realize that the complementarian views I had been raised with came about to soften the Bible’s teaching on the headship of man in society as feminism in American took root and these teachings became unpopular.

I realized that the complementarian beliefs that limit male headship to only the home and church were inconsistent with the Scriptures. God did not limit man’s authority over woman to only the church or the home, he meant for it to be present in the home, the church and society at large.

It is clear that God has designed a consistent pattern of authority to be followed in this world:

God the father is the authority of God the Son

God the Son is the authority of man

Man is the authority of woman

This does not change in this world. When God creates a new heaven and new earth, then this authority structure may be altered, but for now it remains.

I will talk on female prophets in another article but I will simply say this for now. A prophet does not always carry the same authority over others, sometimes they do, and sometimes they don’t. Deborah did not want to be in any authority position over men, they asked her to go with them into battle because they lacked the courage God expected of them. She even said to their shame that God would give their enemies into the hands of a woman. Deborah did not sit at the gates of the cities or go into the cities exercising authority over the people, the people simply came to her for advice as she sat under a tree outside the city gates.

Never once do we see Deborah defying her husband or taking authority over him. Never once do we hear Deborah crying for women to have equal rights with their husbands, or to be given more positions of authority in their society.

Removing the cultural lenses

bible

Over the last 20 years I believe God has slowly taken me through the process of removing the 20th century American lenses from my eyes. Each of us is affected by the culture we live in, the trick is to recognize the cultural influences. Not all cultural influences are bad, but at the same time not all cultural influences are good.

As Christians we have to check our cultural influences by the only perfect measuring tool and that is the Bible. For instance, the Bible talks about freedom, but freedom in the Bible is not the same as how American culture views freedom. Biblical freedom has boundaries established by God, whereas American freedom has boundaries established by our Constitution. Many of our forefathers were Christians and there is a lot of Christian influence on how our government was formed. In the declaration of Independence our forefathers talked about the equality of man and rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness that come not from men, but from God.

But at the end of the day – our Constitution, and by extension our culture, will allow us freedoms the Bible does not.   The Bible talks about not using our liberty to engage in sinful (unbiblical) behavior:

Galatians 5:13(NASB)

“For you were called to be free, brothers; only don’t use this freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but serve one another through love.”

I Peter 2:16(NASB)

“As God’s slaves, live as free people, but don’t use your freedom as a way to conceal evil.”

So no matter what freedoms our country or culture allows us, we must check that freedom with God’s Word. Let me give an example that I think Christian Feminists, Egalitarians, Complementarians and those who believe in Biblical Patriarchy.   Our culture allows men and women the freedom to live together and have sex outside of marriage, the Bible does not allow this freedom.

So how does this relate to gender roles? Many egalitarians and feminists ask today as these questions:

“How is it fair that man gets to pursue a career and woman must stay home to take care of her small children?”

“Why can they not share the duties of provision and care taking? Is she not as free as he is to pursue a career?”

The answer to both these questions is that woman does not have the same freedoms and responsibilities as man. She does not have the same freedoms, or responsibilities her husband has. She does not have the freedom to usurp authority over her husband, or man in general. She does not have the freedom to leave her responsibilities of caring for her children and her home to others so she can pursue a career.

Likewise, a man does have the freedom to leave his responsibility to provide and stay home and be a Mr. Mom. I know Mr. Moms exist, but this is completely and utterly unbiblical for man. It just as wrong for man to do this as it is for a woman to leave her infant child with others (even her husband) to pursue a career.   A man does not have the freedom to abandon his responsibility to lead the home to his wife. Even if his wife is more intelligent and talented then him, he must still exercise leadership. He should lean on his wife for advice like any other man should, but at the end of the day the leadership of the home is always his, he is not free to give this up.

A man does not have the freedom to not protect his family. If his family is threaten, he is to be the first line of defense in front of his wife and children, God hates cowardly behavior.

I am not against a woman working, woman have worked since the beginning of mankind.   But women in the Bible only worked outside the home for small amounts of time and their focus was always on their home, not what they did outside their home. If they had a business, like making clothes and linens, this was done from the home while they care for their children and home, they did not have careers outside the home like women today.

Speaking of freedoms, not only does the Bible sometimes not allow something that our cultural may allow, but sometimes it allows or grants rights or freedoms that our cultural does not allow. For example, I have the right to worship God as I believe he would have me do, and no Government has the right to stop me from worshiping as I will. Daniel prayed to God even though it might mean his death, we are called to do the same. We are told in these instances, that we are to obey God rather than man.

I believe God has given man the right of self-defense. So I have the right to defend my family, with firearms or whatever I think is right, even if the government tries to take those things away.

I was hesitant to reveal this next freedom I believe we have to this site. The reason is I don’t want it to be a distraction and I know a lot of Christians(most modern Christians), even complementarians and many Biblical Patriarchy advocates will disagree with me this. What I am talking about is Polygamy, or more specifically Polygyny. This is when a man has more than one wife. I realize just the discussion of this brings up all kinds of feelings in both men and women, but I would strongly argue that this is because of the culture we have been brought up in. In other cultures this is perfectly acceptable to both men and women.

As I said previously culture does not determine what is right or wrong, God does. The point of this site is not to promote polygamy, I am in monogamous marriage and intend to stay that way. My wife and I talked about my views of marriage, sexuality and even polygamy before we were married. She knows my views, and she agreed with them. We just agreed we were not going to practice polygamy, but that the practice itself is not wrong. We do not condemn the Biblical Patriarchs for their polygamous lifestyles and we believe it was allowed and even blessed by God. It was regulated in the Law of Moses.

The reason I bring up polygamy, even knowing the extremely negative connotation it has in our society, because you cannot have an honest discussion about how God has designed men and women, and more specifically man’s nature, without bringing up man’s polygamous nature.

Do I think a Christian man can successfully live in monogamous relationship even though I believe God designed him with a polygamous nature? Of course it’s possible and I and many other Christian men who live in monogamous Christian marriages are proof of that. But Christian men need their wives to understand their polygamous nature, in order to help the husbands have a successful monogamous relationship.

I will have more to say on this in a separate post. I truly hope and pray, that those of you reading this will not write off everything I have to say because you believe polygamy to be disgusting and against God’s design for marriage. I hope you will read what I have to say on the subject and hear me out first.

Even if you still disagree in the end, there is still a lot of Biblical truth on this site about God’s design for man and woman. Much of the struggles we have in our culture today is because we refuse to accept how God had designed man and woman. We tell men they should be more like women, and women they should be like men. We infuse our cultural values on the Bible and we refuse to take off our 20th century American lenses and see the Bible as it is, not as our culture would have it. I hope and pray you will open you mind and be able to recognize some of these truths.