Defense Secretary appeases feminists by opening all combat jobs to women

Despite what he acknowledged as “challenges” in doing so, Defense Secretary Ash Carter will order that all combat jobs be open to women in an effort to appease feminists.  He is doing this against the arguments of the Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman according to an associated press report.

The military had already been aggressively looking to “diversify” itself to appease a feminist President and ease the pressure it receives from feminist groups each year.

“Carter’s order opens the final 10 percent of military positions to women, and allows them to serve in the military’s most demanding and difficult jobs, including as special operations forces, such as the Army Delta units and Navy SEALs.”

PENTAGON CHIEF TO MILITARY: OPEN ALL COMBAT JOBS TO WOMEN

In fact he did this despite warnings from the Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman:

“The Joint Chiefs of Staff chairman, Gen. Joseph Dunford, former Marine Corps commandant, had argued that the Marines should be allowed to keep women out of certain front-line combat jobs, citing studies showing that mixed-gender units aren’t as capable as all-male units. Carter said he came to a different conclusion, but he said the integration of women into the combat jobs will be deliberate and methodical and will address the Marine Corps concerns.”

PENTAGON CHIEF TO MILITARY: OPEN ALL COMBAT JOBS TO WOMEN

The Defense Secretary’s decision flies in the face of reason, common sense and the recent history of trying to get women into these more intense combat roles.

“That truth is particularly relevant in light of the recent failure of all 45 hand-picked, highly fit women to complete Ranger training and Marine-officer combat training. The 45 women were part of an effort to meet a 2016 deadline mandating that all combat roles, including special forces, be opened up to women — an ideologically driven, reality-challenged initiative.

Putting women into close combat roles isn’t fair to the men who will be relying on them, and isn’t fair to the women who will find themselves continuously at a deadly disadvantage. When we send our soldiers into combat we should be giving them the best possible chance of succeeding and surviving. While women are equal to or better than men at many tasks, they simply aren’t when it comes to combat. Substituting men with far less combat-capable women is profoundly unfair, immoral, and utterly unnecessary.”

Putting Women in Combat Is an Even Worse Idea Than You’d Think 

The Defense Secretary’s crazy defense of his new policy

“But the senior defense official said that while Carter recognizes there may be difficulties in opening the jobs to women, he has made his decision and all the services will follow it.

Answering a question from a Marine in Sicily, Carter said, “You have to recruit from the American population. Half the American population is female. So I’d be crazy not to be, so to speak, fishing in that pond for qualified service members.”

PENTAGON CHIEF TO MILITARY: OPEN ALL COMBAT JOBS TO WOMEN

So he claims that he would be “crazy” to ignore one half of the population when looking for qualified service members.   Ok first and foremost he knows how difficult it is to even find women who would even be interested in joining the military.  So really the vast majority of that “half of the population” is not even interested.

Then when you take the tiny fraction of the female population you have to take those who while being interested, can actually pass the rigorous physical tests required to do these jobs.   Then when you weed out all the women who can’t pass the rigorous physical tests and you get to those who can – they have to pass the mental training.

They have to be able to become a ruthless killing machine – that is what a solider is on the battlefield and especially in the special ops fields.  Can this woman who is physically able handle the emotional task of quietly slitting the throat of an enemy combatant when she is infiltrating any enemy strong hold?

So then if you find that one in a million woman who can physically and mentally do the job – then you have to think of unit cohesion.  This is a huge issue in the military.  If you don’t have good unit cohesion people die and the mission fails.

So no he is not crazy to ignore half the population (women) when recruiting for frontline combat jobs Mr. Secretary, rather it is crazy to try and pretend that even if you can find that rare woman who can actually do the job both mentally and physically that it will not affect unit cohesion and the capability of our fighting forces.

Trying to pretend that men and women are equally built for combat – that is crazy Mr. Secretary.

I grow tired of this President and those who serve under his command sacrificing our nation’s safety on the altar to their false god – diversity.

Sometimes diversity is a good thing, other times diversity can get a lot of people killed.

God did not mean for women to be in combat

God tells us in his Word the primary reasons that he made women.

He made them to be help meets for men:

“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18 (KJV)

And he determined that women should do these primary tasks in her pursuit of her help meet role:

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”

Women are to marry, bear children and take care of their homes in service to their husbands and in service to their God.

God does not call women to be soldiers.  This is something he made men to do as King David states:

“Blessed be the Lord my strength which teacheth myhands to war, and my fingers to fight” – Psalm 144:1 (KJV)

What about Deborah?

Some feminists try and point to Deborah as an example of women in combat.

But they ignore Deborah’s own opposition to going into battle with the men when she was requested –  and really she did no combat but was only their for moral support:

And she sent and called Barak the son of Abinoam out of Kedeshnaphtali, and said unto him, Hath not the Lord God of Israel commanded, saying, Go and draw toward mount Tabor, and take with thee ten thousand men of the children of Naphtali and of the children of Zebulun?

And I will draw unto thee to the river Kishon Sisera, the captain of Jabin’s army, with his chariots and his multitude; and I will deliver him into thine hand.

And Barak said unto her, If thou wilt go with me, then I will go: but if thou wilt not go with me, then I will not go.

And she said, I will surely go with thee: notwithstanding the journey that thou takest shall not be for thine honour; for the Lord shall sell Sisera into the hand of a woman. And Deborah arose, and went with Barak to Kedesh.” – Judges 4:6-9(KJV)

You can see here that Deborah was not anxious to go into the arena of men which was war.  She was begged to go by a cowardly man who should have led his men. She even shames him by saying God would take away the honor from him and give the honor of Israel’s victory to a woman – which was a shame on the men.

Just as Deborah knew – God did not design women for war.

We need to stop following the lies of feminism and egalitarianism and return to God’s design for men and women.

 

Young ladies – If you pursue a career you may fail the Christian race

The Bible often compares the Christian life to an Olympic race. In fact many of the Greek terms that Paul uses in talking about our Christian life as a race refer to the Greek Olympics (words like stadium, athlete and gym all are used by Paul).

Just like we separate our Olympic events by gender, God also has separate races for each gender to run and different rules depending on gender. The Bible also says we must compete (live our lives) according to God’s rules. If we compete but cheat or deviate from the rules we will not receive the rewards for running the race:

“Also if anyone competes as an athlete, he does not win the prize unless he competes according to the rules.” – II Timothy 2:5 (NASB)

A Tale of Two Runners

So now imagine this if you will. There are two races with different obstacles to overcome, but they use the same course. On that course you would see male and female signs on different obstacles.   This is a timed event it is run by one person at a time.

So a man runs the course and as he comes to each obstacle if it is marked “male” he overcomes the obstacle, if it is marked “female” he goes around it and continues with the race till he finally finishes the race where the judge awards him with his prize.

Now a woman comes to the same course. She has decided before she ran this race that she will run the male obstacles instead of the female obstacles. She has decided she does not like the female obstacles and prefers the male obstacles.

So she runs the race just as good as that man who ran just before her. Every time she comes to a male obstacle she overcomes it but then she skips the female obstacles as the man did.   In fact she matches his time as she runs toward the finish line. She crosses over feeling triumphant and she turns to the judge to receive her prize as the man before her did but he tells her she has failed the race.

“But I did everything the man who ran before me did and I even did it in the same time!” the woman says.

The judge replies “But you are not a man, you are a woman. You did not meet the challenges that were assigned to you as a woman, but instead chose to do the male obstacles that were not assigned to you. All your hard work was a waste because you did not overcome the obstacles that were assigned to you”

Over the last century feminism has taught women “you can have it all”. You can have a career, a husband and kids. You can balance your career and your obligations to your family in the same way men do. In fact you and your husband can just split the responsibilities of caring for the kids and your home.

But this is lie.

God never meant for women to have to balance a career and family obligations as men are meant to do. A woman’s complete focus was meant to be on serving the needs of her husband, her children and her home. She would only go outside her home to the extent that it did not affect her performing her duties to her home.

But because we live in a sin cursed world sometimes a woman has no choice but to work to support herself and her family and do what God did not intend for her to have to do and balance work and family obligations. If her husband becomes disabled, abandons her or dies a woman may have no choice but to work. Some women have husbands who in their sinful greed force their wives to work when they should not be.

Another reason a woman may have to pursue a career is because by no fault of her own she has not been able to find a husband and she eventually has to work to support herself.

The push to get women out of the home and into careers

Sadly today many women are actually encouraged and taught from a young age in their schools, homes and even churches that planning to be a stay at home mom is a “waste of their full potential”. My 13 year old daughter recently experienced this in the junior high she is attending.

They had a project to do for class which had them writing out their life goals and a big part of that was what they wanted to do for a career. It was simply assumed that everyone in that class, both the young men and young women should have career ambitions.

The young teens were all comparing what they wanted to be when they grew up and some of the girls said they wanted to be a doctor, or a nurse and one said a scientist. Then it came around to my daughter and she said “stay at home mom”. She told me after she said that you could have heard a pin drop. Then one of her girlfriends asked her “don’t you want more than that?” I was so proud of her response. She said “this is what I believe God wants me to do”.

She told me they were actually offended by that and by her choice to dedicate her life fully to her future husband, her future children and her future home.

But make no mistake – the distain for the Biblical role of a wife (which is what my daughter was espousing) did not happen overnight. It took decades to accomplish.

“In the 1950s, only 19 percent of mothers with small children worked outside the home, said Stephanie Coontz, a historian at The Evergreen State College in Washington and author of “A Strange Stirring: The Feminine Mystique and American Women at the Dawn of the 1960s” (Basic Books, 2011). As of 2008, more than 60 percent of moms with kids under age 6 were in the work force, according to the Bureau of Labor Statistics.

Working moms of older kids are even more common. As of 2008, close to 80 percent of mothers with children between ages 6 and 17 worked outside the home. That is a rise of about 10 percent since 1984.

Attitudes haven’t kept up with reality, however: According to the Pew Research Center, only 16 percent of Americans think a mom who works full time is ideal for young kids. A third favor moms staying at home full time, and 42 percent think part-time work would be ideal.”

http://www.livescience.com/29521-5-ways-motherhood-has-changed.html

The two sources of the cultural shift from stay at home moms to career women

What brought about this change from only 19% of moms with young children working outside the home to it now skyrocketing to 60%? The answer is two words – Feminism and Materialism.

Feminism encouraged women to be selfishly ambitious and some men became greedy and materialistic when they realized by allowing their wives to work they could double their household income. Some women today would much rather stay home and care for their home and children but their greedy husbands force them to work outside the home.

Speaking of husbands – while this post is primarily written toward women – let me just say Biblically speaking a man has no business getting married if he is not ready to provide for his wife. I realize a lot of men today do that, but this breaks the model of marriage God has designed.

“Prepare your work outside and make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house.” – Proverbs 24:27 (NASB)

This verse from Proverbs has been widely interpreted to be referring to a young man working and preparing to have a family. Preparation and provision come before having your own household.

Now we will return to women and selfish ambition.

The selfish ambition fueled by feminist propaganda also caused divorce to become common place where it peeked at around 50% in the 1980’s before having a slight decline.   But the dirty little secret about why divorce has leveled off is because marriage itself is down. Single parenting and cohabitation rates have sharply risen since the 1980s.

There is nothing wrong with a man or woman being ambitious. But we are selfishly ambitious when we are ambitious for things God never meant us to have. The Proverbs 31 wife is a very ambitious wife, but her entire life’s focus was her husband, her children and her home. Even when she temporarily went outside the home her focus was always turned back toward her home so her husband had no worries in his home. She had everything under control.

Rush Limbaugh is certainly not a very religious man and I don’t endorse everything he says when compared with the Scriptures. But back in 2012 when he was commenting on our cultural shifts and the negative views toward stay home moms he had this to say:

“Instead of having the government, stay-at-home moms have a husband to support them — and you don’t think that irritates some of these leftist women? Remember the early days of feminism…

A relationship, a man were shackles.

That was holding you back. It was denying you your full potential. Being a mother, staying at home? You’re letting the sisterhood down, but you’re letting yourself down, too. It was a full-court press to throw away as many traditions in male-female relationships, both at home and at work, as possible…

See, the women are not supposed to depend on that. It was okay if the government ended up providing for you — that was cool — but not a husband, not a man. You’re supposed to do that yourself. And if you couldn’t do it yourself, then you turn to government programs.”

http://www.rushlimbaugh.com/daily/2012/04/16/why_stay_at_home_moms_threaten_the_left

Many Christian women today have drank the feminist Kool-Aid. Even some good conservative Bible preaching churches have drank the feminist Kool-Aid. I can’t tell you how many Christians I have spoken to that have said our young women must have college degrees and careers and you know what the most common reason was? In case they ever have to support themselves.

We have taught now over decades and are continuing to teach women to be independent of men – to not need a man. My own mother-in-law told me this several years back that she taught her daughters to “never be dependent on a man”. This feminism was ingrained in her daughters and the Lord has had to bring a lot of things into my wife’s life and her sister’s life to get some of this thinking out (sometimes it comes back and rears its ugly head though).

God shows in his Word that the husband/wife relationship is to be a model of the relationship of Christ to his Church. In the same way that the Church looks to Christ for their provision and protection a woman was designed to look to her husband for her provision and protection.

Instead our wicked culture has replaced the husband as the provider with the government as the provider. Truly the only way feminism thrives is in a socialistic system that makes women less dependent on men by having the government provide for their needs or pushing them to provide for their own.

Feminism can only survive in an artificial environment.

Nature opposes feminism. In the absence of a social welfare state feminism would rapidly collapse as women came to see their natural dependence on men for their provision and protection.

How women fail the race God has set before them

The Bible says:

“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us” – Hebrews 12:1 (KJV)

Young Christian ladies please hear what the Word of God says about the race God has set before you. There are two courses God sets before you and ONLY two courses and you must choose one or the other. The course of marriage or the course of celibacy. If you run the course of celibacy then rules for the female marriage course do not apply.

These are the obstacles or goals you are to meet to win this race.

The 7 Rules of God’s race for married women

Rule #1 Submit to and obey your husband. (Ephesians 5:22 & 24, Colossians 3:18, Titus 2:5, I Peter 3:1 & 5-6)

Rule #2 Reverence your husband. (Ephesians 5:33 & I Peter 3:5-6)

Rule #3 Love your husband. (Titus 2:4)

Rule #4 Ravish your husband with your body. (Proverbs 5:19, I Corinthians 7:3-5)

Rule #5 Always speak to your husband with a kind, gentle and quiet spirit. (Proverbs 31:26, I Peter 3:4)

Rule #6 Bear and care for your children if God opens your womb to do so. (Genesis 1:28, I Timothy 5:14)

Rule #7 Manage all the domestic affairs of your home (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping) so your husband has no worries about his home while he is away working. (Titus 2:5, Proverbs 31:10-31)

There is a different race that God has set before you as a woman, then the one he has set before men. You must run the race according to the rules God has set for YOU, not those that he has set for men.

Someone might say “What about loving God and obeying God?” My answer to that is the very foundation for these 7 rules is love for God and obedience to God.

“By this we know that we love the children of God, when we love God, and keep his commandments. For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments: and his commandments are not grievous.” – I John 5:2-3 (KJV)

You can’t enter the race unless you register as a runner

This is the Christian woman’s race. You can’t run in the Christian woman’s race unless you first become a Christian. Then your race performance will be judged by how you followed the course rules.

“For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ. Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.

If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward. If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.” – I Corinthians 3:11-15 (KJV)

At the Bema seat of Christ every Christian will stand and his or her life’s work will be judged.

“For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ; that every one may receive the things done in his body, according to that he hath done, whether it be good or bad.” – II Corinthians 5:10 (KJV)

The Bema seat (which is what this in the Greek) was a place of reward after a competition. Our salvation is not a reward for how we run the Christian race, but it is the gift of God.

“For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God” – Ephesians 2:8 (KJV)

However our rewards from God are indeed earned by how we ran the race while we lived her in these bodies. Did we accept the rules of his race or did we make up our own rules as we ran?

But I can follow all those 7 rules and have a career!

Christian women listen to me. You cannot run the race God has set before you as a woman and have the same kind of career a man can. You might be able to work part time and you may be able to work while your kids are in school.

But if you try to have a career in the same way that your husband does you will drop something else.

You cannot be in be in two places at once.

Either you will be gone from home 50 hours a week or more chasing a career or you will be home.

When you have those young infants and small children – either you will be caring for them or someone else will be while you are gone 50 hours a week.

If you are working and gone 50 hours a week pursuing your career you will not have the same energy to give or focus that is needed toward you husband, your children and your home. Something will slip and what will slip is what is supposed to be the primary focus of your life.

Don’t believe the lie

Don’t be like Eve who was deceived by the serpents lie.

“Now the serpent was more subtil than any beast of the field which the Lord God had made. And he said unto the woman, Yea, hath God said, Ye shall not eat of every tree of the garden?” – Genesis 3:1 (KJV)

The Devil told Eve she should could have it all and she fell for the lie.

Don’t believe the lies of feminism. Believe what God says in his Word.

Run the race that he set before you as a woman, not the race that he set before your husband as a man.

But you can’t survive on one income these days!

While it is true that some women have to work because of economic necessity (no husband or husband is disabled) often times it is because of wants that they work, not needs.

Just look back at the average homes that were built in the 1950’s and earlier and look at the homes that are built now. The home back then were smaller and simpler – kids used bunk beds and crammed into rooms. Now every child has to have their own room.

Families often survived on one car. Now every family must have two cars, and not just two cars but two NEW cars.

We have to go on expensive vacations each year and we have to eat the best foods.

We have forgotten as a society how to live simpler. Feminism and Materialism have grown up together in our country.

But you can choose to live simpler, you can choose to live God’s way. You can choose to sacrifice the vacations or drive two used cars instead of new ones. You can choose to do what is right and run the race that God has set before you.

Ladies – don’t let having a career cost you your reward

Let me be blunt ladies. When God judges what you did with your life – yes your career will matter. But not in the way you think. Your career will matter in how much it detracted from your ability to serve your husband, your children and your home.

When God reviews the tapes on your life and sees that you purposefully planned from the time you were young to have children and ship them off to a day care center six weeks after they were born so you could return to your more “fulfilling” career you will be held to account for this. You will lose the reward for being a wife and mother that you could have had. You will be ashamed.

“Watch yourselves, that you do not lose what we have accomplished, but that you may receive a full reward.” II John 1:8 (NASB)

Sexist or Biblical? Episode 3

HardworkingWifeinApron

I think for most men who have not been brainwashed by our modern feminist culture to think it is demeaning for a woman to be seen as the primary caretaker of the home, we would find this flat out sexy. My wife just got a new apron and love watching her work in it. It hearkens back to a period when men were men and women were women.

Women used to see the care and upkeep of their homes as their honor, and they did not look down on it as a drudgery. We as believers in Christ need to raise the next generation to embrace God’s beautiful and distinctive design of man and woman.

Another thing I like about this ad is, it places emphasis on the fact that a woman ought to save some energy for her husband. Too often today, even women who are homemakers, act as if their job is a drudgery and when their husband gets home they say something like “ok your home, it’s your turn to take over.”

Woman have more and more modern conveniences to help them with the affairs of the home (modern ovens, washers and dryers, internet cooking classes and host of materials to help organize) – yet they seem to be able to do less with more, and few husbands are brave enough to take on this important issues of the home.

It’s not unheard of today for men to work 10 hours and then come home to then be expected to cook dinner or run out and buy it for the family. Now everyone has a bad day, and I am not saying that a husband can’t see that fact and help his wife out occasionally with the cooking or cleaning.

But if this is the norm of how a woman is managing her home for her husband, then there is something wrong and it needs to be addressed.

But on a more positive note, husbands if you have a good woman who is taking care of your home and doing these things to the best of her ability – you ought to praising her everyday! Proverbs 3:28 tells us that her husband…praiseth her. If you have not praised your wife’s cooking or upkeep of the house lately – do it today!

Proverbs31_10_11_27

How does your husband initiate sex?

HusbandInitiatesSex3

Wives – how does your husband initiate sex with you?  Husbands you are invited to take the survey as well – how do you let your wife know that “you got that loving feeling?” Please feel free to add comments to elaborate(just keep them suitable for public viewing). A lot of men and women struggle in this area of how they communicate that they are needing to have sex with their spouse – your answers could really help a lot of people, and maybe some other answers here could help you as well.

This poll is completely anonymous – I will have no idea who you are – it won’t show your wordpress id or anything else about you.  Please take the survey.

You were made for Him

Joy and freedom

“…all things were created by him, and for him Colossians 1:16(KJV). All of us, both men and women were made for the glory of God. As a woman, you were also made for another “him”, for your current or future husband, unless you are one of the few women God has called to life of celibacy in his service.

Just as mankind was made for the glory of God, so to you as a woman were made for the glory of man.

“For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man.”

I Corinthians 11:7(KJV)

“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.”

I Corinthians 11:9(KJV)

The fact that you were made for you husband answers all these “why” questions:

Why do I have to submit to him? Because you were made for him.

“Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.”

Ephesians 5:22(KJV)

Why do I need to follow him if his job moves him to a new city? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to follow his rules for discipline with our kids, whether they are stricter or more lenient than I would like them to be? Because you were made for him.

Why do I not get an equal say in all decisions of the family? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to have sex with him even when I don’t feel in the mood? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to wear the clothes he likes me to wear, or keep my hair the way he likes it? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to stay home and care for our children? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to obey him? Because you were made for him.

Why do I have to respect him? Because you were made for him.

Conclusion

Whether you are engaged, a newly wed, or have been married for many years, this principle, that you were made for your husband can and will change the way you approach your marriage. You won’t find yourself fighting for control, or your fair share in the decision making processes of your home, you will instead find peace.

Please don’t misunderstand me, this is not to say a wife should never tell her husband what she thinks, because she should.  Proverbs 31:26 tells us the virtuous wife openeth her mouth with wisdom, and a husband should be able to listen to his wife’s wisdom.  But on the other hand, we all know that there are many instances in the Bible where husband should NOT have listened to his wife.  A Godly man will judge his wife’s advice by God’s Word, and by his own judgement and exercise proper leadership.

Happiness is found when we live the way God designed us to. If you go throughout your marriage and you follow the principle that you were made for the glory of God, and God made specifically made you for your husband, I can promise you that you will have a wonderful marriage. This comes straight from our owner’s manual – the Bible.

Feminism will come to an end one way or the other

Woman_suffrage_headquarters_Cleveland

On August 18th 1920, the ratification of the 19th Amendment to the Constitution forever changed the course of the American nation. This amendment giving women the right to vote, began the process of the feminization of America. America was not the first nation to give women the right to vote, but it was one of the most influential world powers to do so. The system of patriarchy that had served the world since the beginning of creation, was now being taken down in favor of a grand new experiment.

It was not something that happened overnight. It took over forty years from the time Susan B. Anthony and Elizabeth Cady Stanton drafted the amendment in 1878 for it to be finally ratified in 1920. It was passed under immense pressure from women’s groups and the pressuring of men to give women “fair” and “just” treatment.

I believe if you could go back and show the men who voted to give women the right to vote how their vote affected our nation over the next century, the amendment would have been massively defeated.

Feminism will eventually end in of one of two ways

Previously I wrote a post about how Fathers can save our families from feminism. I believe this is one of two ways feminism in America and Western Civilization will end. Fathers teaching their daughters to reject feminist ideals and to embrace their God given roles as wives and mothers would certainly be the less painful way that feminism will end. But if Fathers do not step in and lead, and teach their daughters what is right, a more painful end to feminism will occur.

Emotion verses Logic

While there are more emotional men, and more logical women, the reality is most men are more logical and most women are more emotional. Most men tend to think with their heads first, and their hearts second. On the other hand, most women tend to think with their hearts first and their heads second.

But in the end logic always beats emotion. Emotion may seem to triumph over logic for a period, perhaps even for decades or centuries. But eventually logic prevails.

Emotion says if, we as a nation are nice to our enemies, and we lower our defenses, or withdraw, they will leave us alone.

Logic says an enemy does not want to fight with a nation they cannot beat. So having a larger military, and more advanced weapons actually promotes peace.

Emotion says if we as a nation deal gently and proportionally with our enemies, then they will appreciate the merciful treatment and stop seeing us as enemies.

Logic says if you crush your enemies with overwhelming force, they will think twice before opposing your interests.

Emotion says if you have a more diverse culture (with different languages, religious beliefs and value systems), you will have a better culture.

Logic says if you have a more diverse culture, you will have a more divided culture and a weaker nation. Logic does not say everyone must think exactly the same on all issues, but the more similar the people are to one another in their religious beliefs, their language and value systems, the more unified the nation will be.

Emotion says if you are softer and gentler toward criminals, you will have less crime.

Logic says if you are harder on crime, and give harsher punishments then you will deter crime.

Emotion says you should not have a gun in your home, because you might use it in the wrong circumstance or hurt your spouse. Your child might find it and get hurt, or you might react wrongly and kill someone with it.

Logic says when criminals know that every home in a neighborhood is armed, with citizens who are willing to use these weapons, crime goes down because these criminals don’t want to be shot in the face as they try to enter someone’s home.

Emotion says we as a nation cannot let anyone starve.

Logic says if a man does not work, he does not eat. If we as a nation continue to give people unending government assistance we will create a larger and larger segment of the population that is dependent on the other segment. Eventually the boat will tip over.

Emotion says every person, man, woman or child should be able to choose to do whatever makes them happy.

Logic says each person should do what they are biologically designed to do. If they are a man, they are designed to lead, protect and provide for women and children. If they are a woman, they are designed to bear children, feed those children and nurture those children into healthy adults.

Emotion says men and women should not have to marry, but should be able to have casual sex and just live together.

Logic says the best relationship is a committed relationship within the institution of marriage, where both the man and woman have clearly defined roles. The security of marriage provides security to a nation and a civilization.

Emotion says women don’t have to have children, it is their choice.

Logic says the most critical and important role women play in civilization is the bearing and raising of children. If women don’t have children (at least 3 children per woman to make up for women who cannot have children) then eventually the human race will become extinct. If those children are not given the nurturing care of a loving mother they are more likely to get into crime, or be less productive and more dependent citizens that will way down on the resources of the nation.

Conclusion

If we as a nation, and as Western civilization, keep following emotion eventually Western civilization will fall. The reason our civilization will fall is because of the feminization of the West. It is because we think more with our hearts, than with our heads.

It is because we won’t protect our language, borders and culture, for fear of offending others.

It is because we won’t protect marriage from easy divorce because we don’t want to make two people live together who don’t have feelings for each other anymore.

It is because we won’t make women stay home, bear and raise the next generation of young people for fear we are being unfair to women.

It is because we won’t be tough on crime.

It is because we won’t be tough on government corruption.

It is because we are unwilling to crush our enemies with overwhelming force and fight to protect our interests.

It is because we are unwilling to let lazy people starve and go homeless.

It is because we continually take what people have earned, and it give it to people who have not earned it all in a futile attempt to eliminate differences in income and economic classes (which will never happen).

It is because we continue to spend more than we have, both as individuals and families, and as a nation.

It is because we are willing to kill the innocent (the unborn), but unwilling to kill the guilty.

In the end though, Feminism will not survive. If we cannot turn around our society the easier way through the influence of fathers teaching their daughters what is right, and teaching our young men to reject feminist women when they look for wives, then eventually western civilization will collapse, and with it feminism.

Then a new society will form, built on the ashes of the old, and mankind will have learned that the greatest mistake it ever made was giving women the right to vote and by extension allowing the feminization of society.

How to Emotionally Connect with Women (Part 1)

I respectfully disagree with the main idea of this post that men stick to talking about actions and concrete ideas without verbalizing their feelings because of lack effective roles models.

Men do these things because they are men, it is how we as men are designed.
The reality is that most men (not all) simply do not feel the need to attach feelings to most things in life. Men are objective by nature, and women are relational by nature. It is how God designed us.

Objectivity is what makes men better leaders and problem solvers than women often times because most men (not all) are able to separate their emotions from the task at hand which must be done.

I reject the modern concept that men need to change themselves to be more like women and women need to change themselves to more like men where in the end we have this new great unisex being.

God created us distinctively different and instead of fighting the sex differences and trying to change them we should respect and embrace these differences.

Does that mean a man should never listen to his wife’s feelings? Of course not. But does that mean a man needs to try and modify his thought processes to be more like a woman, where they attach relational aspects to each and every event? No.

Do husbands and wives need to communicate? Absolutely. Every successful relationship depends upon good communication, whether it is between a husband and wife, a child and parent, or with coworkers at work.

But good communication does not require a man to be more like a woman, and woman to be more like a man.

For instance anyone who has been in any long term relationship or married for any length of time knows that women sometimes just need to talk out their feelings. They don’t need the “problem” fixed or analyzed, they just want to talk about it. So we as men are told not to try and solve the problem but just to listen.

I believe that advice is good to a certain extent. However, sometimes a problem needs a resolution and it needs to be addressed right away, there is not time to sit around and explore “how we feel”. In this case a man needs to use his objectivity and analytical abilities to cut through the emotional fog and fix the issue.

Other times when an issue is not as urgent or it does not require “fixing” then I agree men just need to listen.

But women need to realize that when we are listening to them vent, and just supporting their venting process this can sometimes (not always) be a painful event for us as men. Our analytical brains have solved your issue 12 times over, and we feel like you may have repeated the same information 40 times. We may not have much emotionally to say except, “I am sorry they did that to you” or “I am sorry that is making you feel so bad”. Women need to accept that may be the best we can give as men.

In the same way that men can’t expect their wives to get into all their hobbies the same as their guy friends do.

With men and women there are varying degrees of emotional openness. I have shed tears in my life much more than I saw my father shed them. But it has to do with my personality. Some men are naturally more emotionally vulnerable than others. In the same way some women are more emotional than others.

I am not saying I don’t believe in personal growth either. As a Christian I believe I am called to grow each and every day. But personal growth does not mean a complete change of personality, or that I can or should make myself more like a woman, any more than a woman should be expected to be more like a man.

I am not saying it is not valuable to read books or blog articles to find out how the opposite sex thinks, and how they process the world around them. I highly encourage that. Men should read about and learn about how a woman’s thought processes work and women should about men as well. But that is not the same as modifying one gender, to be more like the other gender in their actual world outlook and brain processing.

thelovemanifesto

men oneMany of the stereotypes surrounding the male gender do not apply to all men. Yet their widespread acceptance inhibits the way men communicate.  For example, not all men prefer to occupy their Sunday afternoons sitting on the couch, eating potato chips, yelling at the TV over a football game.

Traits such as having a sense of fashion, appreciating art, or knowing how to dance are often perceived as feminine and males who possess these qualities must be homosexual.  Questioning the sexuality of heterosexual men based on these traits is a mentality that much of our society shares.  Sexual preference is not determined by personal interest or personality.

Regardless of your sexual orientation, men tend to be confined by “social norms” or generalized based on gender (often against their will).  For many generations men have been crippled by the effects of these stereotypes.   For example, the belief that men have no…

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What if I don’t have an hour glass figure?

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Millions of women ask themselves this question each and every day. Most studies show that men prefer women with an hour glass figure, and a 60 to 70% hip to waist ratio. Are women who don’t have an hour glass figure doomed to be single? What about middle aged women who used to have an hour glass figure when they were young but don’t anymore?

I am primarily writing this toward single women looking to find husbands.  But at the end of the post I will address this from the perspective of married women.

First full disclosure – I am a married man around 40 as I write this post. I think far too often women read articles from other women on this subject, but they don’t get the male perspective and I will try and provide an honest perspective here.

Do men really prefer the hour glass figure on a woman?

Yes men prefer the hour glass figure to the other body types. It is hard wired into us. If a man were to look at a series of pictures with woman’s body types as shown above, with just the body and not the face or neck shown the vast majority would choose the hour glass figure.

Is it only possible for petite women to have hour glass figures?

A common myth or misconception that women believe is that it is only possible for petite women to have hour glass figures.  The fact is that even large built women with a much larger amount of fat can actually be very attractive to many men.  Take Kim Kardashian as a woman that is certainly not petite but is considered very attractive and she has an hour glass figure.

Can a woman with love handles and extra weight still have an hour glass figure?

Yes! Just because a woman has a belly or or some love handles does not mean she can’t still have an hour glass figure.  The main point of an hour glass figure is to have that curve between the waist and the hips and between the breasts and hips.  Honestly most of us a men could care less about if a woman has love handles and a belly and far more if she has that essential curve between her breasts and hips.

What are the reasons that woman don’t have the curve of the hour glass figure?

The first reason some women just don’t have that curve between their breasts and their hips is because of genetics.  Some women just have a boxier figure closer to that of a man and it has nothing to do with being overweight.  Some women have a “pear” shape because they have very small breasts. There are some very slender women that just have an “apple” or “banana” figure as shown in the picture above.

But there is a second type of woman that has lost the curve between the bottom of her breasts and the top of her hips for one reason and one reason only. She has gained so much weight that she has essentially lost the natural curves of her body.  In essence she has either a boxy or oval shape as opposed to an hour glass shape because she over eats and does not exercise.

Will men date or marry a woman that does not have an hour glass figure?

So what if you have that apple shape, banana shape or pear shape – will men still want to date you? Absolutely! What if you have gained so much weight that you now have an oval or round shape and have lost your curves? Yep! There are still some men who will want to date you too.  You can see it every day around you. Young men, middle aged men and older men walking along side women that do NOT have hour glass figures. So right now you might be scratching your head. If men prefer the hour glass figure to the other body types, then why do we see them with women who do not have hour glass figures?

The reasons men date and marry women that do NOT have an hour glass figure

The first reason is we as guys understand that just like not all of us have broad shoulders and a muscular build so too not all women have an hour glass figure. Many of us guys are smart enough to realize we are bald, or have some extra weight ourselves.  Maybe we are super skinny and scrawny. But the point is that many of us as guys don’t exactly line up with all the physical features that women typically want either.

Another reason is that just because we think the hour glass shape is the most attractive figure, does not mean we can’t find women with other figures attractive.

Sometimes a woman may not have a very attractive form, but she may have something that is attractive on her, like beautiful breasts, beautiful legs or a beautiful face and for some men that is enough.

Sometimes a man will fall head over heels for a woman who would not seem very attractive to most people just because of her personality although this is rarer for men to do with women than for women to do with men(because of our visual natures).

What should women who don’t have hour glass figures do?

I think the Serenity Prayer is a good place to start:

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And wisdom to know the difference.

There are some things about your body that you will never be able to change. Remember that while men find the hour glass figure the most beautiful, that does not mean other figures are not beautiful too.

If you have narrow hips or no hips, you can’t change that, it is how God made you. But maybe you have narrow hips but nice breasts – then you should play to your strengths and wear clothing that accentuates your breasts.

Maybe you are like many women that have very small breasts, but you have hips or legs, again accentuate your strengths.

What if I don’t have anything to work with?

First be sure you really don’t have anything to work with, most women are far more critical of their bodies then men actually are. Let me paint a worst case scenario. Let’s say you are a woman that has flat hips(as opposed to rounded), no curve at the waste, chicken legs(bony legs), no breasts, and no pretty face.

You still have something you can work with – your personality and your inner beauty.  But even then you need to make sure you wear nice clothes and keep yourself up.  You may not be able to change the outside, but you can certainly change the inside.  You can make yourself a radiantly beautiful woman by the way you talk to men and the way you present yourself.

Don’t come off as desperate, but be humble.  Humility in a woman is very sexy to many men. In fact this is a problem many(but not all) of those hour glass women have which is a complete lack of humility.

I used to make a statement in high school over 20 years ago and I have continued to say it ever since.

“The most dangerous woman is the woman who is more beautiful than most women and knows it”

It is extremely hard to find a woman like this that still has humility. Some men still date and marry women like this because they are just as shallow as some of these women are so they make a great pair.

What if I am overweight?

While you can’t change your body type or face, weight is something you can change. You can work out, you can eat differently. Many men will overlook some extra weight on a woman depending on how she carries the weight.

But there is a certain point where as the weight increases it directly affects how many men will find you attractive. Contrary to all the statements online and elsewhere, beauty does have a weight limit, it may be different depending on height and body build, but there is a limit.

Don’t be angry at men for preferring the hour glass figure

This is perhaps the biggest thing women without hour glass figures need to realize. I have seen some visceral hatred of men for preferring women with hour glass figures both online and in real life.

After I got divorced, and before I met my current wife, I went out just as friends with a woman I went to church with. She was a nice woman to talk to and we had a lot in common because we went to the same church and had the same beliefs and life values. She taught one of my children in Sunday School.

She had been divorced for many years and my mother thought she would be a good match for me. I went out with her three times (as friends) but I simply could not get passed her figure. We had some great discussions and some good laughs.

But there simply was no physical attraction. This woman was 5ft tall and probably weighed well over 250 pounds. Since we agreed we were just “friends” she confided in me her frustration with men. She told me she would go on dating sites and put pictures of herself from her breasts up to her head.

She then would tell me she would talk to these Christian men online and they would agree to a date, then go out with her one time and see what she looked like below the waste and never go out with her again.

The majority of her extra weight was in her legs and buttocks so her photo showing only her head and breasts was in essence false advertising. I could never bring myself to share with her my belief that she needed to represent her full self honestly.

She would rail on how men were superficial for having a problem with her extra weight, while all the time I understood exactly why they did. She was unwilling to try and lose weight, men just needed to stop being so superficial or so she thought.

Can overweight women still get men?

Of course they can, they do every day. But the reality is if you as a woman are overweight it will directly affect the pool of eligible men that will come your way in direct proportion to how much overweight you are.

So if you are a really overweight woman you have two choices – you can accept that your weight will lower the pool of eligible men and be content with that. The other choice is to make a change and do something about your weight. There are many things about your body or face that you cannot change, but you can change your weight through diet and exercise, it is not easy, but most things in life that are worthwhile (like raising kids) are not easy.

But the worst thing you can do is sulk or get mad at men for preferring women that are closer to their optimal weight or have hour glass figures.

What about if I gained weight after I was married?

Most married men who love their wives can forgive some weight gain.  Also if you had some extra pounds when your husband married you then that means he accepted you as your were and it would be unfair of him to expect you to radically alter your figure after marriage.

But what happens with many women if we are honest is they simply let themselves go after marriage. It is one thing to gain 20 pounds, or maybe even 40 or 50 pounds over several years of marriage and having children.  But if you have gained a massive amount of weight to where you would not even recognize the woman you were when you married your husband I think you need to do some soul searching.

But he gained weight too so why do I have to be concerned about my weight?

Ladies I am going to be blunt here.  This is just an excuse for you not to take any action.   While men have a responsibility to care for their bodies as well – weight gain by their wives has a significantly higher effect on men and their attraction to their wives than it does for women in attraction to their husbands.

And lets be honest about another fact.  We as men typically don’t care if our wives find us physically attractive.  Most men don’t crave and strongly desire for their wives to call them handsome all the time.  We want our wives to respect us, submit to us, be beautiful for us and enthusiastically give her body to us in the bedroom.  If you do those things we are happy campers.

But you ladies want your man to think you are beautiful and to call you “pretty”, “beautiful” and “gorgeous”.  And if you don’t care about this then this a major violation of what it means to be feminine, what it means to be a woman.

So if you want your man to think your beautiful then you have to earn it. You need to do your utmost best to maintain that figure that you had when you married him(being realistic of course in accounting for age and having children).

 

What does the Bible say about Lust?

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Biblically speaking, lust is NOT merely being sexually attracted to or turned on by looking at someone of the opposite sex. Men today have been ridiculed for their nature and saddled with a great burden that comes from feminism on one side, and on the other comes from the church. They are often told that any sexual pleasure they receive from seeing a beautiful woman is sin unless they are married to that woman.

Many Christian books and websites want to “help men with their problem of lust”. Feminist bloggers want to help men to stop “objectifying women”.

But is a man’s natural desire for, and pleasure from, seeing youthful and beautiful women a problem to overcome? Or is it a gift from God, to be appreciated and accepted by both men and women alike?

Lust = Covetousness

In the Bible, lust is synonymous with covetousness. Covetousness is the strong desire to possess something that belongs to another.

Covetousness is not simply admiring something that someone else has, but actually fantasizing about how you can possess that thing.

While it goes against modern western values, people in Biblical times could be the property of other people. The Bible lists these things as man’s property in the 10th commandment:

17 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor anything that is thy neighbour’s.

– Exodus 20:17 (KJV)

The 10th commandment and the 7th commandment have something in common – they both talk about crimes against a man regarding his wife.

14 Thou shalt not commit adultery.

– Exodus 20:14 (KJV)

In the context of sexual sin, Coveting (or lusting after) a woman is the sin of desiring to possess her outside of marriage. It is different than simply being attracted to her physically, or even being sexually aroused by her form or having a sexual fantasy about her.

Covetousness first begins when a man goes from finding a woman he cannot marry desirable (which is not sin) to him desiring to UNLAWFULLY possess her (which is fornication).

The second phase of covetousness is when a man goes from his desire to unlawfully possess her (which is already sin) and then he compounds this by actively planning in his mind HOW he could possess her; whether he acts on that plan or not, it is still covetousness and is a grave sin before God.

Fornication (which encompasses all sexually sinful activity) is when a man actually makes good on his covetous thoughts and then takes sexual possession of a woman he cannot marry and has not married. If the woman is another man’s wife, that is Adultery – which is a specific form of fornication.

But isn’t it lust when a man gets sexual pleasure from looking at any woman who is not his wife?

If you are someone who believes your pastor, priest or your church teachings are never wrong in their interpretation of the Bible then you should just close this page and go on believing what they have taught you about lust.

But before you close this article, ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is it wrong to enjoy the smell of pancakes as you enter your favorite pancake restaurant?
  2. Is it wrong to see a commercial on TV for one of your favorite foods and then it makes you feel hungry?

If you answered no to both of these questions above, then I think you should keep reading. But to do so, you will have to acknowledge to yourself the very real possibility that your church might be wrong about some of its teachings.

The Protestant Reformation was fought over this very idea, that church leaders are not always right in their doctrines or understanding of the Bible. That is why the battle cry of the reformation was “Sola Scriptora”, meaning “Scripture alone”. While the Protestants did a good job of removing a lot of unbiblical Catholic tradition and teaching, they did not remove it all. Some errors crept into the early church even while the Apostles were still alive. After they died, the flood gates opened and many errors entered the early church and then the Catholic Church piled on more.

So if you answered “no” to my two questions above, and you can at least entertain the idea that sometimes our church leaders are wrong in some of their teachings about what the Bible says – then I invite you to examine the evidence for yourself and make your own determination.

How many passages talk about a man lusting after a woman?

There are only two passages in all the Bible that deal with the subject of a man looking at a woman. I know, it’s hard to believe that an entire elaborate doctrine of our churches is completely based on two passages, right?

The first and most common passage I will deal with is found in the Sermon on the Mount:

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

– Matthew 5:27-28 (KJV)

This passage is part of the most famous sermon Jesus Christ ever gave.

I can’t tell you how many times I heard that verse in youth group at my church growing up, or how many times my mom read that to me as a teenager. As an adult I have heard entire sermons preached on just those two verses.

Seems pretty straightforward, right? If a man looks at a woman with lust (sexual desire), he has committed adultery with her in his heart, even though he has not physically touched her, right?

Whenever we try to understand God’s Word, we need to make sure we are understanding his Word within the full context of how it was written. Luckily for us the full context is just two verses. There is one word in both these verses that gives us the context of what Christ is addressing – ADULTERY (English translation of the Greek word “Moicheuo”).

If you look up every Old Testament passage about adultery, it always means the sin of a man sleeping with another man’s wife. Basically, adultery was a property crime: if you slept with another man’s wife, you violated his property.

So if the context here is clearly talking about something involving a married woman, then why do the translators say “woman” in verse 28, instead of “wife”?

An excellent question. I am glad you asked it. The reason is “tradition”, since this verse has been traditionally used by the church through the ages to propagate a certain teaching about lust, they had to make it “woman”.

The actual Greek word they are translating is “Gune”, which can be translated as “woman” or “wife” – depending on the context. So let’s expand our context and show our Lord’s statements together:

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery[Moicheuo]:

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman[Gune] to lust after her hath committed adultery[Moicheuo] with her already in his heart.

29 And if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

30 And if thy right hand offend thee, cut it off, and cast it from thee: for it is profitable for thee that one of thy members should perish, and not that thy whole body should be cast into hell.

31 It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife[Gune], let him give her a writing of divorcement:

32 But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife[Gune], saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery[Moicheuo]: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery[Moicheuo].

– Matthew 5:27-32 (KJV)

So as can clearly be seen, the translators of the KJV and all modern translations decided to follow the tradition of translating verse 28 as “woman” instead of wife, even though the context was clearly speaking of Adultery, which can only happen with a married woman! This was and continues to be, a completely political translation of Scripture.

So we have now handled two of the three key words to understanding this one and ONLY passage of Scripture that our current doctrines around sexual lust are built upon. The last key word is Lust. Our English word lust in verse 28 is translated from the Greek word Epithumeo. Once again this word, like Gune (“woman” or “wife”) can be translated differently depending on its context. The word literally means “to desire”. Sometimes it’s talking about desiring good things; other times it’s talking about desiring bad things.

With all that being said – I believe in all sincerity that this is the correct interpretation of this passage based on its context – Adultery:

27 Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery:

28 But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on [another man’s wife and fantasizes about how he may possess her for himself] hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.

– Matthew 5:27-28 (KJV)

There is at least one undeniable truth from Matthew 5:27-28

The context is clearly talking about a married woman, so this in no way applies to single people. While the act of physical sex outside of marriage is forbidden, nowhere in the Scripture does it forbid a single man from having sexual desire toward a single woman, or being turned on by a single woman, or even sexually fantasizing about her. The same goes for a single woman: nowhere does the Bible condemn a single woman for being turned on by viewing the body of a single man.

But what about a man (married or single) who looks at a married woman and is sexually aroused by her form? What if he even imagines what she might look like naked? What if he later has a sexual fantasy about her? Is this all sin? Is some of it sin?

I submit to you that none of the above scenarios are sin. Where the sin occurs is when a man goes from finding a married woman desirable to him desiring to unlawfully possess her(fornicate with her). After he has allowed himself to desire to possess her, then he will most likely begin to fantasize about how he might possess her.

If he allows himself to desire to unlawfully possess her he has entered the realm of sin and has planted the seeds for further sin. If he then starts thinking about how he can lure her from her husband he has sinned even more even if he never acts on these plans.

A key principle regarding lust and covetousness is that even before he began planning on how to possess her – his first sin of covetousness was in allowing himself to desire to unlawfully possess her before any plan on how to do that came to mind. A plan on how to unlawfully possess someone or something that is forbidden is not required for covetousness to occur – simply the desire to possess something God does not allow us to possess is sin.

What about Job 31?

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With everything we have learned while studying Matthew 5:27-28, we can now address the second of only two passages in the Bible addressing this subject of a man lusting after a woman.

1 I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?

9 If mine heart have been deceived by a woman, or if I have laid wait at my neighbour’s door;

10 Then let my wife grind unto another, and let others bow down upon her.

11 For this is an heinous crime; yea, it is an iniquity to be punished by the judges.

– Job 31:1 & 9-11 (KJV)

Clearly verses 9-11 are talking about a married woman – “my neighbour’s door”, so this is talking about committing adultery, or thinking about possessing another’s wife in one’s heart.

But what about verse one where he says he made a covenant with his eyes? Some translations translate this as “gaze at a virgin” and others “look lustfully at a virgin”. Again, we need to look at the actual Hebrew terms and scrape away translator bias and church tradition bias.

The Hebrew word “maid” here is “Bethuwlah” and it is always translated as talking about an unmarried woman or virgin. The Hebrew word translated as “think” is also translated as “perceive” or “consider”. Most people would agree that it is ridiculous to think Job is saying a man could never think about a young unmarried woman, otherwise no one would ever get married.

The problem in this passage is, we don’t have the context of what he is thinking about with this woman. Those who are proponents of the belief that it is sin for a man to be sexually aroused by any woman other than his wife will fill in the blank for us and say it is talking about sexual arousal or sexual fantasy about a virgin girl.

I submit to you that this is talking about more than just sexual arousal or even sexual fantasy, but instead Job 31:1 is the comtemplation of pre-marital sex. Job is saying “I will never look at a virgin and think of how I might take her sexually without marrying her”.

16 And the damsel’s father shall say unto the elders, I gave my daughter unto this man to wife, and he hateth her;

17 And, lo, he hath given occasions of speech against her, saying, I found not thy daughter a maid; and yet these are the tokens of my daughter’s virginity. And they shall spread the cloth before the elders of the city.

– Deuteronomy 22:16-17 (KJV)

4 Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge.

– Hebrews 13:4 (KJV)

In the Law of Moses as well as the book of Hebrews in the New Testament we can see that God only sees three ways that sexual relations can occur between a man and a woman:

  1. Whoremongering (sex outside of marriage)
  2. Marriage (sex within marriage)
  3. Adultery (a man having sex with another man’s wife)

There is only one type of sexual relations between a man and woman that the Bible calls “honorable in all” and “undefiled” – and that is sex between a man and woman within the bounds of marriage.

This is what Job 31:1 is referring to – a man should never fantasize about how he can “entice” a young woman into having sex with him outside of marriage. This is also why prostitution is sinful, because it is sex outside the bounds of marriage.

Conclusion and Application

Matthew 5:27-28 is talking about the sin of a man coveting another man’s wife. It is the desire to possess a woman that belongs to another man.

Job 31:1 is talking about a man thinking of enticing a young virgin into having sex with him outside of marriage.

Remember at the beginning of this article I asked you these 2 questions:

  1. Is it wrong to enjoy the smell of pancakes as you enter your favorite pancake restaurant?
  2. Is it wrong to see a commercial on TV for one of your favorite foods and then it makes you feel hungry?

You may be asking what these questions have to do with a man begin sexually aroused by the sight of a woman (married or single, it does not matter).

It is a biological fact that the same area of a man’s brain that causes hunger and gives pleasure from the smell, sight and taste of food is the exact same area that gives a man pleasure from the smell, sight and touch of a woman.

The average man’s brain is sexually stimulated by visual cues and is built for variety…

“Using functional MRI scans, researchers examined the brains of young men as they looked at pictures of beautiful women. They found that feminine beauty affects a man’s brain at a very primal level – similar to what a hungry person gets from a good meal or addict gets from a fix. One of the researchers said, “This is hard core circuitry. This is not a conditioned response.” Another concluded, “Men apparently cannot do anything about their pleasurable feelings [in the presence of beauty].””

– Dr. Walt Larimore, MD (pg. 99 “His Brain, Her Brain”)

http://www.amazon.com/His-Brain-Her-Differences-Strengthen/dp/031024028X/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1396807524&sr=1-1&keywords=his+brain+her+brain

“Telling men not to become aroused by signs of youth and health is like telling them not to experience sugar as sweet.”

– David M. Buss, PhD (pg. 71 “The Evolution of Desire”)

So the two questions I asked about food could then be changed to these questions:

  1. Is it wrong for a man to be sexually aroused by the scent of a woman?
  2. Is it wrong for a man to be sexually aroused if a beautiful woman accidentally rubs against him in a hallway?
  3. Is it wrong for a man to be sexually aroused by the sight of a beautiful woman – whether he is married to her or not?

The Biblical answer to all these questions is – it is NOT A SIN for man to be sexually aroused by the scent, touch or sight of a woman, whether he is married to her or not.

While most of what I have said here could also apply to a woman being sexually attracted to a man, this is something that affects men much more than women.

To the men reading this, you now have a choice to make. You have been presented with Biblical evidence that the sin of lusting after (coveting) a woman is when a man goes from finding a woman sexually desirable (he is aroused by the sight of her, wonders what she looks like naked or has a sexual fantasy about her) to this same mane desiring to unlawfully possess this woman(to fornicate with her).

In many cases, once a man has allowed himself to desire this forbidden married woman, or desire sex with a single woman outside of marriage, he will also begin to plan in his mind how he can bring this to pass. But the planning stage is not required for covetousness to occur; covetousness occurs the moment a man allows himself to desire to possess someone or something God does not allow him to possess.

Your choices are:

  1. Will you accept how God has designed you, that being turned on by a beautiful woman (married or otherwise) is no more a sin than being made hungry by the sight or smell of your favorite food?
  2. Will you continue to beat yourself up, and buy the lies of feminism that you are “objectifying women” if you are turned on by a woman simply by the sight of her without knowing anything about her?
  3. Will you continue to allow your church leaders to put you on guilt trips from receiving pleasure simply from the sight of beautiful women around you?

 Remember, the sin only comes when your sexual attraction, or even fantasy about a woman, turns into a covetous desire to possess her sexually outside of marriage. It really is that simple.

 Yes, the Bible tells us that we need to fight our sinful natures with the help of God, but it does not tell us that we have to fight how God designed us. We as men should embrace our design, not fight it.

That does not mean we need to shove all this information in our girlfriends’ or wives’ faces.

We can practice discretion. It also does not mean being rude and gawking at beautiful women and making them feel uncomfortable is ok. What it does mean is that if you get a quick glance of a beautiful woman, or accidentally brush against a beautiful woman on the train or bus and you get feelings of pleasure from that – you have done NOTHING wrong.

One final note. Anything can be abused; for example, hunger and the pleasure from eating food is something God built into men and women. But this same hunger for food can be abused and then it can become gluttony. In the same way we cannot allow ourselves to become obsessed with sexual pleasure to the point that it interferes with intimacy in our marriage, or other areas of our life. Everything needs to be kept in balance.

But just as men and women both hunger for and receive pleasure from eating food, so do men have a natural hunger for and receive pleasure from the sight, scent and brief touches of beautiful women, whether they are complete strangers or women they know; it makes absolutely no difference. It is absolutely by God’s design, and no man should ever feel shame for this. It is only when he allows his natural sexual desires to turn into a desire to possess a woman sexually outside of marriage that he has now entered the realm of covetousness and lust which is sin.