16 Ways to Instill Biblical Masculinity in your Sons

Teach your son that God is his ultimate example of masculinity

“For a man ought not to have his head covered, since he is the image and glory of God; but the woman is the glory of man.” – I Corinthians 11:7 (NASB)

Teach your son to be strong in mind and body

“I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man.” – I Kings 2:2 (NASB)

“A wise man is strong, and a man of knowledge increases power.” – Proverbs 24:5 (NASB)

“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” – I Corinthians 16:13 (NASB)

Teach your son to be brave

“Therefore, keep up your courage, men” – Acts 27:25 (NASB)

“But we are not of those who shrink back to destruction, but of those who have faith to the preserving of the soul.” – Hebrews 10:39 (NASB)

Teach your son to be a leader

“The righteous is a guide to his neighbor, but the way of the wicked leads them astray.” – Proverbs 12:26 (NASB)

Teach your son to listen to wise counsel

“A wise man will hear and increase in learning, and a man of understanding will acquire wise counsel” – Proverbs 1:5 (NASB)

“Where there is no guidance the people fall, but in abundance of counselors there is victory.” – Proverbs 11:14 (NASB)

Teach your son to be a man of integrity

“A righteous man who walks in his integrity— How blessed are his sons after him.” – Proverbs 20:7 (NASB)

“A good name is to be more desired than great wealth, favor is better than silver and gold.” – Proverbs 22:1 (NASB)

“The integrity of the upright will guide them, but the crookedness of the treacherous will destroy them.” – Proverbs 11:3 (NASB)

Teach your son to channel his competitive and aggressive nature but do not suppress it

“Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle” – Psalm 144:1 (NASB)

“Fight for your brothers, your sons, your daughters, your wives and your houses.” – Nehemiah 4:14 (NASB)

Teach your son to channel his anger but do not suppress it

“Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger” – Ephesians 4:26 (NASB)

“Like a city that is broken into and without walls is a man who has no control over his spirit.” – Proverbs 25:28 (NASB)

“He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit, than he who captures a city.” – Proverbs 16:32 (NASB)

Teach your son to channel his sexuality but do not suppress it

“Your head crowns you like Carmel, and the flowing locks of your head are like purple threads;

The king is captivated by your tresses.

“How beautiful and how delightful you are, my love, with all your charms!

“Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like its clusters.”

”I said, ‘I will climb the palm tree,
I will take hold of its fruit stalks.’
Oh, may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,
And the fragrance of your breath like apples,
And your mouth like the best wine!” – Song of Solomon 7:5-9 (NASB)

Teach your son to defend the weak

“Learn to do good; Seek justice, Reprove the ruthless, Defend the orphan, Plead for the widow.” – Isaiah 1:17 (NASB)

“Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.” – Proverbs 31:9 (NASB)

“Moses was educated in all the learning of the Egyptians, and he was a man of power in words and deeds…  And when he saw one of them being treated unjustly, he defended him and took vengeance for the oppressed by striking down the Egyptian.” – Acts 7:22 & 24 (NASB)

Teach your son to not be manipulated by women’s sexual charms

“For the commandment is a lamp and the teaching is light; And reproofs for discipline are the way of life to keep you from the evil woman, from the smooth tongue of the adulteress. Do not desire her beauty in your heart, nor let her capture you with her eyelids. For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life.” – Proverbs 6:23-26 (NASB)

Teach your son the value of hard work

“Man goes forth to his work and to his labor until evening.” Psalm 104:23 (NASB)

“Do you see a man skilled in his work? He will stand before kings; He will not stand before obscure men.” – Proverbs 22:29 (NASB)

“He who gathers in summer is a son who acts wisely, but he who sleeps in harvest is a son who acts shamefully.” – Proverbs 10:5 (NASB)

“Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one’s labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward.” – Ecclesiastes 5:18 (NASB)

“Commit your works to the Lord and your plans will be established.” – Proverbs 16:3 (NASB)

“He also who is slack in his work is brother to him who destroys.” – Proverbs 18:9 (NASB)

“Prepare your work outside and make it ready for yourself in the field; Afterwards, then, build your house.” – Proverbs 24:27 (NASB)

“The plans of the diligent lead surely to advantage, but everyone who is hasty comes surely to poverty.” – Proverbs 21:5 (NASB)

“In all labor there is profit, but mere talk leads only to poverty.” – Proverbs 14:23 (NASB)

Teach your son to value and seek out a wife and have a family

“Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun.” – Ecclesiastes 9:9 (NASB)

“He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” – Proverbs 18:22 (NASB)

“Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.” – Proverbs 31:30 (NASB)

“Behold, children are a gift of the Lord, The fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one’s youth. How blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them” – Psalm 127:3-5 (NASB)

Teach your son that men provide for and protect their women and children

“When a strong man, fully armed, guards his own house, his possessions are undisturbed.” – Luke 11:21 (NASB)

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her,  so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,  that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless.  So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;  for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church,  because we are members of His body.” – Ephesians 5:25-28 (NASB)

“A good man leaves an inheritance to his children’s children, and the wealth of the sinner is stored up for the righteous.” – Proverbs 13:22 (NASB)

Teach your son to show proper respect for authority

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” – Exodus 20:10 (NASB)

“Submit yourselves for the Lord’s sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, or to governors as sent by him for the punishment of evildoers and the praise of those who do right.” – I Peter 2:13-14 (NASB)

“Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.” – Hebrews 13:17 (NASB)

Teach your son to show proper honor to women

“You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.” – I Peter 3:7 (NASB)

14 thoughts on “16 Ways to Instill Biblical Masculinity in your Sons

  1. Nicely done BGR. A father could very easily conduct a very solid bible study working through these principles with his sons. Or just use a verse at night for reflection at evening prayer
    Again, thanks and God Bless.

  2. Quibble with the last one.

    Teach your son to show proper respect to women

    Show proper honor to women/wives. Not respect.

    Respect, in Scriptural terms, is a relationship between an authority and subordinate.

    Of course, there are women that a man should respect due to her position such as his own mother and actual authority figures. However, improperly conveying respect to women basically means a man is going to put her on a pedestal in his own mind which leads to bad things down the road.

    It’s a small change in wording that most people would deem irrelevant, but it is extremely important for young men to learn. When a man says he “respects” women, it’s almost a virtual guarantee he is not walking in headship or leadership with women. This is because of the difference in the understanding of “respect” between men and women and confusion in the English language in reference to the Koine Greek.

  3. Deep,

    I did go back and forth between honor and respect and I actually have changed it now to honor. I was really thinking of boys respecting their mother – which they should do. I heavily enforce that in my household. I believe the Bible is clear that boys should honor, respect and obey their mothers.

    “My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother:” – Proverbs 1:8 (KJV)
    “A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish man despiseth his mother.” – Proverbs 15:20 (KJV)
    “He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach.” – Proverbs 19:26 (KJV)
    “Whoso curseth his father or his mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness.” – Proverbs 20:20 (KJV)
    “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” – Proverbs 23:22 (KJV)
    “There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.” – Proverbs 30:11 (KJV)
    “The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it.” – Proverbs 30:17 (KJV)

    I agree though that “respect” from a Biblical perspective is reserved for those in authority.

  4. @BGR,

    Good essay. Thank you.

    Have you thought about writing a workbook for teenage boys and another one for teenage girls?

  5. I love this! It’s good to teach daughters the value and joy of rejecting feminism. But it is equally important to teach men the same about Biblical masculinity.

  6. Bee,

    Yes I might do that in the future. In fact at some point(over the next few years) I might write a Biblical Gender Roles ebook. That is something I would truly like to do. But right now I just don’t have the bandwidth to do it yet. But it is on my bucket list – LOL.

    In the short term though I will be presenting more Scriptural principles on Christian parenting and instilling Biblical gender roles in our children. Really much of what I have written up to this point is just a cure for the symptoms of the “disease of feminism”, but if we raise our children according to the Bible and teach them how to find godly mates many of these problems would never occur, or they would occur far less often.

    That is why after I finish up my parenting series I am going to shift over to Christian dating – helping young people to find spouses that believe in a Biblical worldview. I may even cheat a bit and get into the dating articles before I finish parenting ones.

  7. Dash,

    Glad you were blessed by it. I love expounding on God’s Word and utilizing the gift of teaching he has given me – but sometimes I like doing articles like this where God’s Word does all the teaching. I just put it out there and let it speak for itself.

    “But he answered and said, It is written, Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceedeth out of the mouth of God.” – Matthew 4:4 (KJV)

  8. Thanks for this post, BGR. 🙂
    Mike was just teaching our sons about the importance of leadership a couple of nights ago.
    I’d like to think they learn it organically as well (by his example).
    We like to keep at least one inspirational and/or instructional quote on our refrigerator for our sons to keep in mind.
    These will definitely make it up there. 🙂

  9. Your materials would be great for church youth groups. The two church youth groups I participated in as a teen had a primary focus on fun and games to attract teens. But they did not teach practical topics like your essays.

  10. Hello Biblical Gender Roles,
    This is my frist time on your blog and I found it odd that your post is just a list of headings with verses from the Old and New Testment intermixed. I think it would be more helpful if you wrote about how to live a life that teaches your son, or young men around you who may need a male role model, to live as a Godly man. A man needs to show a boy what a Godly man is not just tell him certain things. Someone could talk about these verses with their son and fail to live a Godly life which will lessen the impact of Biblical teachings. I think that your post could be more useful if you went into more detail about how to live as a Godly man, which is what I assume you mean with by saying teaching “Biblical masculinity” while teaching a boy. I do not mean to be rude in my coments, I am only expersing my opinion.

    On a side note, Teaching a boy how to be/what is a Godly man and living a Godly life as a man in front of your daughter(s) also helps teach her/them what to seek out in a husband and how they should be treated by men in general. I also think it is important to point out, about my comment, that I think it is best to wait until boys and girls are mature enough to touch on some subjects in a co-ed situation.

  11. moderndaywarriorprincess,

    I had originally started expounding on some of the those Bible passages but then I stopped and pulled that out because it would have just been too big. What I plan on doing is coming back and writing dedicated posts to each of those items. I agree that we as fathers also need to live out examples of how to be for sons.

    It really is both – we need to teach them, and we need to live it out. Some parents take the approach of just living out things without ever teaching their children anything and that is only half the equation. We also need to teach our children why we do certain things and what the Bible states.

    We also need to be humble enough to admit where we fall short – no father is going to perfectly live out all the Biblical principles involved in being the man God would have us to be, and that is why we also need to show them in God’s Word what he expects so they can see that.

    So this post was not meant to go into detail – but rather give a very high level view of Biblical masculinity. It is more of what one person called it – a study guide.

    If you look at more articles on this site I do actually delve into a lot more detail about things like how a man can honor his wife, how he can know his wife, how he is responsible to provide and other issues. I am going to take on more of these as I go forward and time permits.

  12. Thank you for replying and I look forward to those posts. I have read some of your posts at the top and some of them I respectfully disagree with you on, specifically the post on marital rape (or abuse as you define it), I will not go into it here since that would take us off topic on this post. I hope you do not mind discussion on points that I may also respectfully disagree with you in future posts.
    Again thank you for your response & I look forward to reading more of your posts.

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