It is all too common today for women to see their desires as deep and meaningful “needs” while their husband’s desires are selfish “wants”. The truth is that God designed men and women to come together as “one flesh” and in it’s most literal sense “one flesh” refers to sex.
“For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and shall be joined unto his wife, and they two shall be one flesh.”
Ephesians 5:31 (KJV)
While both men and women have a desire for physical and emotional intimacy men typically have the strongest desire for physical intimacy and women typically have the strongest desire for emotional intimacy.
A woman must respect her husband’s stronger desire for sexual intimacy as much as she wants her husband to respect her stronger desire for emotional intimacy.
All of us as men and women better understand one another when we can relate our different needs to one another. For instance one thing I mentioned in the list above is that a man desires to know his wife’s body in the same way a woman desires to know her husband’s heart.
If wives were to really think about that they might better relate to their husband’s desire in this way. Ladies your husband wants to explore(and re-explore) every part of your body in the same way that you want to explore(and re-explore) every part of his heart. Often times when women hold back parts of their body or refuse to let their husbands see them naked they will find that he will in turn hold back parts of his heart from them.
In the list above I have tried to tastefully, yet symbolically show several distinct areas of sexuality that are important to most men. If you need a translation for each one then let me know – but I think you all should get the point.
The main point to take away from this is, if you as a wife want to have a successful marriage you must view your husband’s sexual needs as outlined above as just as important, deep and meaningful as your desires which I compared them too.
Also don’t fall into the trap of – “well he does not do all those things(or any of those things), so when he does all those things then I might do some of those things”. This should not be the attitude of a godly Christian wife. I encourage you to view these things as not only an act of love, but also as an act of submission to your husband.
Wives- God commands that your husband be ravished(intoxicated) by your body and your sexual love toward him. But he cannot be intoxicated by that which is held back or not freely given to him.
“Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.”
Proverbs 5:19 (KJV)