Is the Red Pill Concept of Game Biblical?

In this concluding post to our series, “Is Red Pill Biblical”, we will discuss the Red Pill concept of Game and summarize what we have learned about Red Pill in comparing it to the Bible.

In the context of an LTR or Marriage what does Red Pill Game look like? For this I will refer to one of  Rollo Tomassi’s articles entitled “Dread Games” where he gives the following practical examples of game:

“Dread, for lack of a better term, is a female condition.

Although I’ve suggested casually returning flirtations with other women as a means to amplifying desire and illustrating social proof, this is hardly the only, or best, means of fostering competition anxiety. Overt flirtations are a blunt means of stoking this anxiety, but often all it takes is a nuanced shift in a predictable routine to trigger that imagination. The idea isn’t to instill terror from fear of loss, but rather to demonstrate higher value; particularly when a woman’s attention is straying into comfortable, routine familiarity and she begins seeking indignation from other sources.

Sometimes all that’s necessary to provoke that imagination is to get to the gym, dress better, get a raise, travel for work, change your routine, adopt a Game mentality, hang out with a new (or old) friend, be cocky & funny with her – risk to offend her sensibilities. Most women believe that their pussies are sufficient to hold their men in thrall for a lifetime, but as a woman’s SMV declines and a Man’s appreciates their confidence in this form of leverage falls off, thus forcing them to adopt new schemas for controlling the fear of loss. When you head off to Las Vegas for that trade show and your wife fucks the ever-lovin’ shit out of you the night before you go, you’re experiencing one of those new schemas. It doesn’t take much, most times the lightest touch will do. Good dread game doesn’t even have to be initiated by you. Often enough, women will do it themselves.”

A man demonstrating his higher value, specifically his higher sexual market value (SMV) is central to the Red Pill concept of game.  In the initial attraction phase, it is all about a man showing he has higher SMV than the other guys around him thus attracting the woman to himself.  But then in an LTR or marriage situation, game switches into “dread” mode in order to stoke anxiety in the woman regarding the possible loss of her man.

This is one of those areas where I just have to flat out say that Red Pill contradicts itself.   Tomassi says regarding game that “The idea isn’t to instill terror from fear of loss, but rather to demonstrate higher value”.     But what is a man flirting with other women, changing his routine, hanging out more with friends and thus less with his wife in order to foster “competition anxiety” doing?  The answer is it is in fact instilling terror in her in the form of anxiety over possibly losing her man.

And just for those unfamiliar with this concept, SMV, or sexual market value, is the Red Pill concept that when women are in their late teens to mid-20’s (18-25) they really hold all the cards when it comes to relationships with men in the same age group.  However, as men progress past the mid-20s their SMV goes up and for women their SMV goes down.  This is why you will more often see older men with younger women and it is much rarer to see older women with younger men.

Red Pill Game Was Born Out of a Reaction to Blue Pill Game

Red Pill game was a reaction to Blue Pill game or what it sometimes refers to as “Beta Game”.  In his article “Our Sister’s Keeper”, Tomassi  explains what Beta Game is:

“Just to illustrate, for about 25 years or so, popular culture strongly pointed men towards a sexual strategy that could be defined as Beta Game. Play nice, respect a woman by default, be supportive of her self-image and ambitions to the sacrifice of your own, don’t judge her and do your utmost to identify with the feminine, was the call to action that, deductively, should make a man more attractive to a woman.”

So basically, for several decades’ men have been taught if they are more sensitive (more feminine), put a woman’s ambitions ahead of their own, never correct her or judge her and basically live to make her happy this will evoke the emotional response of her desiring to have sex with them.  Red Pill is correct that this entire paradigm is absolutely flawed.  In most cases this kind of behavior will cause a woman to see a man as more of a friend, than a potential lover.

The vast majority of men today employ Beta Game which leaves women with little choice but to marry one of these men because of their need for emotional security and a man to provide for them and their future children.  They then manipulate the Beta Game for their own purpose to control the relationship with their men, using sex as a reward mechanism to reinforce their control.

So along comes Red Pill game as an alternative to Blue Pill game.  It shows the flaws in Blue Pill game by demonstrating women are not attracted to men that act in more feminine ways, but rather they are attracted to men with the Alpha mindset and Alpha physical qualities.

Why Red Pill Game Is an Unbiblical Concept

Is it wrong for a man to “get to the gym, dress better, get a raise, travel for work…hang out with a new (or old) friend, be cocky & funny”? No.  These things can all be good and healthy for a man to do.  But then we must ask is it wrong for a married man to flirt with women other than his wife?

Unless he is in the courtship process pursing a second wife following the practice of Biblical polygamy then yes, it is absolutely wrong.   Flirtation outside the context and protection of courtship makes “provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof” which Romans 13:14 warns against.

I have read in Red Pill forums and comment areas of men who purposefully push their wife’s emotional buttons to start a fight with her so they can have great make up sex afterwards.  Whether it be flirting with other women in front of their wife or purposefully starting a fight these methods are what the Bible would classify as “craftiness”.  And the Bible says Christians are to have no part in such things:

“But have renounced the hidden things of dishonesty, not walking in craftiness, nor handling the word of God deceitfully; but by manifestation of the truth commending ourselves to every man’s conscience in the sight of God.”

2 Corinthians 4:2 (KJV)

But the biggest problem with Red Pill game from a Biblical perspective is that it is simply the flip side of a corrupt coin. And that coin is game itself. 

What is game? It is simply the attempt of a man to evoke a desired emotional response from a woman, and that response is for her to want to have sex with him.

The focus of a Christian’s man’s life should not be on evoking emotional responses from women in his life so he can get more sex.  But rather his life focus is to be on his mission, his call to image God with his life as 1 Corinthians 11:7 states “For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, forasmuch as he is the image and glory of God: but the woman is the glory of the man”.

A man images God in his life’s work outside the home in addition to being the kind of husband and father that God is within his home.  Taking a wife is certainly a big part of a man’s mission. A man’s love for his wife should be pictured in the same way God shows his love his people through his leadership, provision and protection.

And in taking a wife, a man’s primary goal with his wife should not be to evoke the desired emotional responses from her, but rather to sanctify her as the Scriptures below state:

“25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; 26 That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, 27 That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish.”

Ephesians 5:25-27 (KJV)

In the passage above husbands are called to love their wives “as Christ also loved the church” and in Revelation 3:10 Christ tells us how he loves his churches when he states “As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent”.

God has chosen husbands as human instruments of sanctification in the lives of their wives.  A man is called to sanctify his wife by rebuking his wife and chastening his wife as Christ does his churches.

This entire concept of a man sanctifying his wife by rebuking and chastening her is utterly rejected in the secular philosophy of Red Pill as well as the Beta teachings in both our secular world and sadly in most churches today.

So How Should Christian Husbands Deal with Sexual Denial from Their Wives?

So, if game is off the table for Christian husbands, how do Christian husbands deal with things like sexual denial from their wives?  The answer is that a Christian man should throw out the corrupt coin of game (both blue pill and red pill) and replace that with the coin of sanctification.

When you as a Christian husband realize that your sexual problems with your wife are part of a much larger issue of her sanctification things become much clearer.

The sanctification of your wife requires you to wash her in the Word just as Christ washes his Church.  That washing requires you to clearly instruct her in what God expects from her as a wife.  That instruction then goes further into your specific expectations of your wife as her husband.  Don’t worry about the fact that your expectations of your wife will be different than other men.  That is ok.  As long as you are applying the principles of God’s Word then it is right.

Most women today do not submit to their husband in any area of their marriage or family.   Some women will submit to their husband in specific areas like where they go to church, finances and rules and discipline for the children and often these women will pat themselves on the back for this kind of submission.  But it is the rare woman today who is completely submitted to her husband in the sexual arena.  The overwhelming majority of Christian women, even those who think they are submissive wives, still retain ownership and control over their bodies and their sex lives with their husbands.

And this is why you as a Christian husband cannot leave the area of sexual submission alone and simply be satisfied with these other areas of submission if they are already present.  The sanctification of a wife must start in the sexual arena because this will form the foundation for submission in all other areas of the marriage.  In most cases, a woman who submits to her “in every thing” (Ephesians 5:24) regarding her body will more easily submit to her husband “in everything” in other areas of her marriage as well.


Rollo Tomassi, in his article “Christian Dread” stated “I know a common refrain of more traditionalist Christians is that Christianity was already Red Pill before there was a Red Pill…” which led to the question that we asked at the beginning of this series.

Do the doctrines of the Bible, upon which Christianity was founded, agree with any part of Red Pill theory?

And the answer we have proven in this 7-part series on Red Pill is yes!

There are indeed some Red Pill teachings regarding the nature of men and women that are also found in Bible. But there are also some Red Pill teachings that conflict with the teachings of the Bible.  And even when Red Pill correctly identifies HOW the masculine and feminine human natures are different, it can never truly answer the reason of WHY they are different.  Only the Bible can do that.

Red Pill is right that Male authority over woman is indeed the birthright of every man (Genesis 3:16, Ephesians 5:23-24, 1 Corinthians 11:1-16).

Red Pill is right that sex is a greater need for men than for women. The Bible compares a man’s need for sex to that of his need for water (Proverbs 5:15). But Red Pill is wrong in seeing man’s life imperative as simply to sow his seed with as many women as possible.  A man’s strong sexual nature is only a part of his larger God given nature.  His imperative is so much more than to have sex, it is to image God with his life (1 Corinthians 11:7).

Red Pill is right that men naturally have a polygynous nature and the Bible reveals this nature is blessed and allowed by God (Genesis 30:18, Exodus 21:10-11, Deuteronomy 21:15-17, Deuteronomy 25:5-7, II Samuel 12:8).   But God meant for man’s polygynous nature only to be exercised within the covenant and protection of marriage and not in the way that Red Pill Pick Up Artists exercise it as whoremongers.

Red Pill is right that women do indeed have a hypergamous nature always seeking the next best man to be with.  But Red Pill is wrong in seeing this as an amoral trait in women and simply a product of evolution for women to get the strongest and best seed from men.  God directly condemns feminine hypergamy in the 7th commandment when he said in Exodus 20:14 “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. Feminine hypergamy was seen as so dangerous to society that God prescribed the death penalty for it in Deuteronomy 22:22.

Red Pill is right that a woman should never be a man’s mental point of origin.  But Red Pill is wrong in saying that a man should make himself and his desires the focal point of his life. The Bible tells men that Christ and the life mission God has given them to image him should be the focal point of their life and not a woman (Genesis 3:17, Ecclesiastes 7:26, 1 Corinthians 11:7, 2 Corinthians 10:5).

Red Pill is right that men need to establish frame, or their worldview, in a relationship with a woman from the very beginning.  And they need to hold that frame.  In any courtship it is crucial that a man establish his frame with a potential wife and if he cannot establish that frame with her during their courtship, he most certainly should not marry her.

However Red Pill’s objection to overt methods of men holding frame opting only for covert and subtle influence does not match the Biblical call of men to rebuke and discipline their wives as Christ does his Church (Revelation 3:19).  A man should set the frame not through subtle or crafty means, but rather through direct and plain instruction to his wife based upon the Word of God and when she seeks to control the frame he rebukes and disciplines her until she returns to his frame.

The Red Pill concept of Game has no place in Biblical Christianity.   As we said earlier, it is not wrong for a man to do things like “get to the gym, dress better, get a raise, travel for work…hang out with a new (or old) friend, be cocky & funny”.   But it is wrong to state that he must earn sex with his wife by doing these things to increase his SMV status with her.

The  only “status” that matters in God’s perspective is that he is her husband and she has a duty to lovingly have sex with him whenever he so desires it.

Game is wrong because it is completely based on an appeal to a woman’s emotions in order to get her to have sex.  In this way game, whether it is Red Pill or Blue Pill, makes a woman’s feelings the central focus of sex between a man and woman.  The Biblical view of sex is that it is not based on feelings, but rather on duty (1 Corinthians 7:3-5).  Sex is referred to as something that is rendered, that is due and a right in marriage.

The Red Pill concept that husbands should only seek sex when their wives genuinely desire it goes against the Scriptural command for husbands to drink from the well that is their wife’s body whenever they are thirsty and to satisfy themselves at all times with it (Proverbs 5:15-19).

And finally, I want to leave with a note about the Christian version of Red Pill. I was aware of the existence of the Christian variation of Red Pill before I started this series.  And I will admit I learned some new things about them while writing this series like the fact that some of them teach the need for husbands to take overt action by rebuking and correcting their wives.

But even among Christian Red Pill folks there is still much acceptance of game and appeal to a woman’s emotions and natural desire as the basis of sex in marriage.  A woman having sex with her husband when she does not genuinely desire it and just because it is her duty is still seen as wrong by some Christian Red Pill folks who still hold to this part of the secular Red Pill philosophy.

But the truth is that Red Pill started off as a secular philosophy and MGTOW and Christian Red Pill were later off-shoots of the original secular Red Pill.  This is why I have based this series on the secular version of Red Pill.

The Christian version of Red Pill may be much closer to the Bible and I don’t deny that there may be some additional truths in it.  But I simply maintain like other “traditionalist Christians” where Red Pill is right “that Christianity was already Red Pill before there was a Red Pill”.  And I prefer to use the Bible as a basis and framework from which I discuss intersexual dynamics rather than Red Pill.  I see knowledge of Red Pill being good in the sense of being able to help non-Christians by showing them Red Pill truths that are found in the Bible.  But we as Christians must also be cognizant of many unbiblical teachings in Red Pill as we have shown in this series.

10 thoughts on “Is the Red Pill Concept of Game Biblical?

  1. BGR, Nice conclusion to the series.

    I wonder how deeply our presumptions are programmed by the frame of romance. We swim in an ocean that treats the feelings of passion and romance as the highest form of human bliss. Movies, books, music and art all seem to elevate romance above virtues like truth, justice and beauty. Yet it is the same pursuit of the feelings of passion that lead to fornication, adultery and ironically sexual denial. This is because the feelings of passion and romance are the context for sex not a covenant. Of course this exalted view of romance is so nineteen eighty; no longer is simply romance the context of sex but consent. Consent is based on the same premise as abortion, “our bodies our selves”. If a woman can do what ever she chooses with her body then the sin of a wife sexually withholding and the sin of the murder of her unborn children are subject to her whims and caprice. My point is that Biblical ethics regarding sex are occluded by an overwhelming acceptance of romance culture.

    Part of romance culture is of course chivalry. The term has been used in many ways but the most widely understood use is the image of the white knight fighting for the princess; either defending her honor, her life or her sins. In the culturally defining tale of Lancelot, he fought for the honor of Guinevere which he knew was a lie. He himself was the adulterer who betrayed his king. Yet he fights against truth and justice. Lancelot is not viewed, even in the church, as a villain but as a handsome warrior who made the ladies of court swoon. In other words a white-knight to be emulated. In Biblical jurisprudence both he and Guinevere committed a capital offense.

    If not romance then what? Nature abhors a vacuum and something will fill the void.

    Of course the answer is covenant. Marriage is a type of God’s relationship with His people, His elect. The biblical word for this relationship is covenant. Sex according to scripture is not predicated on romance or consent, but covenant. Now sex is union, being made one. As the church is to seek union with Christ so a husband and wife seek union through sex. Denial of sex is the picture of the elect rejecting union with the Lord.

    The “red-pill” picture is one of Christ manipulating the church to desire Him more than their idolatrous inclinations. Those idolatrous inclinations in women are called hypergamy. Red pill men seek to manipulate women to desire him more than their hypergamous inclinations. That picture is perverted. Yet it is consistent with the teachings of the church. I have had so called Biblical marriage counselors tell me “happy wife – happy life” and if my wife is sexually withholding then “God has called me to be celibate”. They are like Lancelot defending the dishonor of a sinning wife and projecting themselves as virtuous men. It seemed to me that these counselors were more concerned with their own SMV than with biblical ethics. I attribute this to the zeitgeist of romance culture and willful ignorance of the ethics of a Biblical covenant.

    Blue pill denies the fallen nature of women.
    Red pill seeks to exploit the fallen nature of women.
    Biblical covenant seeks to sanctify fallen women as Christ sanctifies His church.

    Blue pill men worship women.
    Red pill men seek the worship of women.
    Covenant men seek to bring their women with them to worship almighty God.

  2. I agree with what BGR wrote, but I don’t think that one should be ignorant of how to harness a woman’s nature. We are to be wise as serpents and to live with our wives according to knowledge. Although it is best if you can just tell her to show you more respect, and she does it, some times it is also handy to know a few other methods to assist her to see to it that she reverences her husband, when she might be struggling to do that.

    Luke 24:27 And beginning at Moses and all the prophets, He expounded unto them in all the scriptures the things concerning Himself. 28 And they drew nigh unto the village, whither they went: and He made as though He would have gone further. 29 But they constrained Him, saying, Abide with us: for it is toward evening, and the day is far spent. And He went in to tarry with them.

    Jesus clearly “gamed” those disciples, not for sex of course, but for their own benefit. Similar to how you might “game” your wife to help her to do what she should do.

  3. Why should men marry when you have no power in marriage?

    What actual hard power do men have in marriage?

    Women can:
    Deny men sex
    Manipulate men

    Men can:
    What exactly?

  4. The core issue is that wives are sinning ‘en masse’ against the clear commands of Christ through the inspired writings of His disciples, the NT authors, to submit to their husbands in everything. Next to that, many women (and men) are living a life paying only lip-service to Christ, but not obeying Him.

    As you’ve already used 1 Cor 7 as a model for man-wife relationships; one of the key concepts is obedience of the Church to Christ. From the number of times the NT refers to the necessity of obeying Christ to enter the Kingdom of God, it is obvious that showing a clear trend in NOT obeying Christ, is a big warning sign somebody is in severe danger of NOT entering heaven, but to be eternally condemned.

    “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father who is in heaven.” Mat 7

    “If anyone does not remain in Me, he is like a branch that is thrown away and withers. Such branches are gathered up, thrown into the fire, and burned. [..] If you keep My commandments, you will remain in My love, just as I have kept My Father’s commandments and remain in His love.” John 15

    It is really troubling to see many churches ignore this. From a husband’s perspective it’s even more worrying that sin on the part of his wife by not submitting to him, is not only tolerated by churches, but the husband is chastised for even expecting such submission on the part of his wife.

    “Let no one deceive you … ” should be on every Christian’s mind. It is a spiritual war we’re in!

  5. It all stems from men losing authority in marriage. Blue pill chooses to submit to her authority, red pill shows how to manipulate her authority, MGTOW resigns and focuses on protecting yourself from her authority, and traditionalists say to act like she doesn’t have the authority and accept the consequences for what she does next. Everyone has to choose an option.

  6. BGR, I recently found your writing and this is a great article. I can testify that what is written here is working in my marriage. After 17 years of gatekeeping and refusal, I finally told my wife that she was sinning against me and God and that was going to change. I believe in that one statement of pushing her towards biblical marriage I regained frame and began asserting my headship. We’re not there yet, but the gains made in 9 months are eye opening.

    I think you should reconsider dread in marriage. It should not play out like secular red pill philosophy advises, but dread helps combat the hypergamy at the core of women. I started exercising again to get back in shape for sports and my wife recently commented that I am now the more attractive one in the relationship. So in her mind she was more attractive, which might explain why she wanted me to continually “date” or chase her in the past. Looking back it seems like I she was having me qualify myself. Time will tell in my case, but there is something competitive in women that when other women check out the husband or comment about his appearance positively that gets the territorial juices flowing in a wife and fights against hypergamy.

  7. Dylan,

    I am actually opposed the concept of game, Red Pill or Blue Pill as I stated in this article:

    “But the biggest problem with Red Pill game from a Biblical perspective is that it is simply the flip side of a corrupt coin. And that coin is game itself. 
    What is game? It is simply the attempt of a man to evoke a desired emotional response from a woman, and that response is for her to want to have sex with him.”

    And here is the reason why. Take the Blue Pill man, he comes home from work, with flowers in hand. Then he makes dinner and even washes the dishes afterwards. Why does he do all this? In hope of evoking an emotional response of his wife wanting to have sex with him after he does all this for her. Now enter the Red Pill man. He decides to loose weight and go to the gym and get a six pack all in hopes of evoking an emotional response from his wife to desire more sex with him.

    Now the Red Pill man will say “But the emotional response I evoke with my rock hard abs is a more primal genuine sexual response from the woman than the emotional response the Blue Pill man gets”. And that is true, the Blue Pill man’s response from his wife is “Well he did do all this stuff for me, I guess I owe him some sex” and it is not the more primal response evoked by the Red Pill game strategy.

    But both strategies miss the point of a God centered marriage relationship and why a woman should be having sex with her husband. As I said in the article, there is nothing wrong with a man loosing weight and working out. In fact that is good for his health. And I would also add on the other side, there is nothing wrong with a man buying his wife flowers or even cooking or doing the dishes from time to time. But he should not do any of these things evoke an emotional response from his wife so that she will desire to have sex with him.

    The problem is that both husbands, the Blue Pill and Red Pill, are teaching their wives with their different game strategies that her feelings are the basis for when and how they have sex. And that entire paradigm is unbiblical.

    Ephesians 5:25-27 teaches us that we as husbands are to be human instruments of sanctification in the lives of our wives. That means we are to correct their faulty thinking on various issues. And the biggest faulty thinking that is common to all women is “my feelings determine what I do“. Wrong. Duty determines what we do. And as Christians we find our duty as men and as women in God’s Word.

    I am not against women having genuine sexual desire toward their husbands. In fact I think that is wonderful. But from a Biblical perspective, where should that genuine desire come from? Should it come from the husband gaming his wife or should it come from a wife praying the prayer of David in Psalm 119:36:

    “Incline my heart unto thy testimonies, and not to covetousness.”

    If a woman applies this to herself as wife this is what she should be praying:
    “God change my feelings to match what you say is my duty, and my duty according to Proverbs 5:19 is to ravish my husband sexually with my body. And help me not to be covetous of other women’s husbands whether in their physical form or in their person, but to be fully content with my own”.

  8. How is a man to take another wife without first communicating with her ( the possible future wife)? How do you know if she would be a good wife or if she would accept an offer of marriage without communicating?

    And if we communicates with her, isn’t that flirting? In other words, where is the line between communicating with a female we aren’t married to, and flirting?

    I agree with you on Game, but if we communicate/flirt with a potential wife, and then end up not married, are we sinning even though the goal was seeking another marriage?

    Keep in mind, we don’t need permission from our current wives to take another.

    Can we speak to and have conversations with females we don’t intend to marry?

    Anyways, you have addressed that polygyny is biblical and I agree, but I have yet to see you offer any practical advice on how to obtain and maintain it.

  9. Palooka,

    There is a big difference between a married man flirting with other women when he has absolutely no intention of engaging in Biblical polygamy and when he does. Many things become right or wrong based on our intent – and that is one of them. If a man has become convinced that God allows him to practice Biblical polygamy and he is exploring to seek out a godly second wife that changes things.

    Flirting is one those difficult areas to nail down – there is nothing wrong with casual conversation between a man and woman. But when it starts getting into the intimate details of another person’s life (and not just sexual, but very personal details) it could be crossing the line into flirting. Flattery, telling someone who wonderful or attractive they are – ‘oh that is a nice shirt or blouse, I like your shoes’ – between two people of same sex, might not be flirting (unless they are gay or lesbian of course). But when a man and woman are talking and they are constantly complimenting each other on how they look or sharing intimate details of their lives this can be flirting.

    Men and women are not meant to be close friends outside of marriage. Close, intimate friendships between men and women who are not married can often lead to sexual immorality. Yes, when you are getting to know someone for marriage you may get closer, but that is why even courting couples should never be alone together before marriage.

    As far as advice on obtaining a polygamous marriage. Finding your first wife in today’s post-feminist culture is already so difficult – trying to practice Biblical polygamy in a culture where it is not only deeply frowned upon, but actually illegal is even far more difficult. You could see about joining this forum – they may have some pages or groups in for people considering polygamy.

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