God said to Cain in Genesis 4:7 “sin lieth at the door. And unto thee shall be his desire, and thou shalt rule over him”. He was telling Cain that his sin nature desired to control his actions and to make him do things which violated God’s will for his life.
In our modern society where humanism and feminism dominate the culture, the word “control” is often seen as swear word while “consent” is seen as a holy and sacred term. Yet even humanists and feminists must engage in controlling actions when it suits the humanist agenda. Just take a look at the censorship by all the major tech giants, as well as colleges and universities which are dominated by all the various forms of humanists including feminists, globalists, socialists and environmentalists. They have no problem exercising control over what opinions may or may not be voiced on their platforms or in their classrooms or on their campuses.
Socialist humanists have no problem with governments controlling wealth distribution by engaging in theft of private property from upper and middle economic classes and redistributing that to lower economic classes. Environmentalist humanists have no problem controlling what people eat, what cars they may drive or how much energy resources they may use.
The reality is that humanists don’t really have a problem with themselves exercising a great amount of control over all elements of society. They just don’t want to submit to God’s order or control in their lives.
And this is why humanists utterly hate and consider evil the control which God called men to exercise over the lives of their wives in Genesis 3:16 when “Unto the woman he said… thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee”.
Genesis 3:16 uses the same language structure as God used when talking to Cain in Genesis 4:7 about sin trying to control him. Sin attempts to control our actions. The sin nature will attempt to get us to do the very opposite of whatever God commands. If God says to do something, the sin nature will try and get us not to do that thing. If God says not to do something, the sin nature will tell us to do that very thing.
And here is a very important truth that every Christian man must take to heart.
In the same way that God has ordained husbands as human instruments of sanctification in the lives of their wives, sin attempts to use wives as human instruments of temptation in the lives of their husbands. We see this in the very first act of sin committed by Eve when she gave Adam the forbidden fruit.
Man was ordained by God to rule over woman from the very start of creation. Man exercised his authority over woman when he named her just as he named all the animals God created before her. And we know, contrary to Christian feminists’ claims, that man’s rulership over woman was part of God’s design to picture the relationship of himself to his people. To call man’s sacred trust to rule over woman a result of sin is to call Christ’s rulership over the Church to which it is directly compared to in Ephesians 5:23-24 a result of sin as well.
But man’s rulership became that much more important after the fall. Now his rulership or his control of his wife would be far more difficult. This is what God was saying when he told Adam his wife’s desire would be to him. He was not saying she would have some lovely desire just to be by his side as the Christian feminists so wrongly claim. He was saying that sin would corrupt his design of the feminine nature causing women to act in opposite ways of which God designed them to act. God designed the feminine nature to be submissive, dependent, cooperative and to seek be under the control and dominance of man. But sin would corrupt the feminine nature making it rebellious, independent, contentious and it would ultimately drive women to seek to control and dominate their husbands.
Humanists of all stripes have no problem controlling what opinions people may voice as long as they are the ones doing the controlling. Humanists have no problem controlling what people eat, what people can spend their money on, how much energy people can use, where people can live or how people can defend themselves. Again, they have no problem with control, as long as they are the ones doing the controlling.
But humanists have a big problem, a colossal problem, with any one trying to exercise any control over the “personal” decisions of women. Nope don’t go there. If women want to have all kinds of sex with different men outside of marriage men better just shut their mouths and stop “slut-shaming” women. And if women want to murder their unborn babies in their wombs, often a result of their whoring around, no one can control that. If wives want to commit adultery with other men there should be no negative consequences or shaming of such women. If women don’t want to have sex with their husbands, men better not coerce them into having sex in any way otherwise that is “marital rape”.
But God calls men to exercise control over their own sin natures as well as well as the human instrument of temptation that sin often uses, which is a man’s wife.
6 thoughts on “Men Should Exercise Control Over Themselves and Their Women”
Amen! Very good and necessary point! I’ll be sharing this with my fiancé
Self-control or self governance is a fruit of the Spirit.
Plato’s analogy of the charioteer comes to mind. Two horses one the passions and the other the volition provide the motion to pull the chariot. Each of the horses is prone to want to recklessly pull in a different direction. The charioteer is the intellect that informs the volition and keeps the passions under control. The passions are otherwise capriciously wild and dangerous, likewise the volition untempered. In Greek thought the intellect was the “logos”. In Christian thinking our direction, comes from the Logos of God. Christ provides to our own logos the reins to control our passions. That logos is revealed in the scriptures and developed with discipline. The logos, our rational being, informed by the word, informs our will to will and to do for His good pleasure. Christ working in us, through us and in the mature disciplined Christian with us.
Often wives are not governed by the logos, but the pathos. They allow, even insist that their feelings not rationality provide the direction and pace to the chariot. Venerated as emotionally superior they are governed not by the logos of God or their husband, but by feelings. “Follow your heart” they are taught.
This is emblematic of the gnostic-dualism still the in the church. Instead of worship that develops the logos, worship teams focus on the pathos exclusively. Husbands are denigrated as emotionally illiterate while wives honored as the very voice of the Holy Spirit. The theology seems to insist that the Spirit blows where he wills means that the Holy Spirit is not acting under authority. They may confess that the Spirit “proceeds from the Father and the Son” (Western creed, the Eastern omits land the Son”), but they live life as though the governance of the Son is inconsequential. IOW they deny the Lordship of Christ in how they live their lives and in how they configure marriage. If the Logos is not Lord of the pathos, then Plato’s chariot will be driven into the wilderness where it is days from water and will run around aimlessly until it breaks a wheel. All authority is given unto Christ. He is Lord. And Peter venerates Sarah as the example for wives to follow in that she called her husband “lord”. Sarah is commended because she submitted to her husband (volition), she allowed him to inform her own logos and sanctify her as she gained control over her pathos.
Theology matters, because our theology is upstream of culture. Marriage does reflect the relationship of Christ and the church. Unfortunately we are reflecting the reality of our stubborn pride, driven by our pathos and lack of governance. The church is largely antinomian, emotionally propelled and willfully blind to the logos of scripture. Put another way, she is not a good wife so it should be expected that the wives in her midst are not very good either. Good fruit does not come from bad roots.
@Jonadab…what is a wife to do if she is the more logos one and he the more pathos. She the more trad, he the more feminist?
He is to repent! Ideally godly men will exhort him, but frankly that is unlikely. Pray then that he will be convicted of his abdication of duty.
The wife still must submit herself to his rule, no matter how weak it is. Unless he is asking her to sin, she can only hope to win him by her example. Tough thing to do, much like being the head of a rebellious woman is tough. This sinful world is filled with sorrow, our goal is to glorify Christ in whatever lot He placed us. That often means suffering as we are sanctified.
Your wise words are an encouragement to us all.
I agree with what you said to Jonadab. He is one of my favorite commenters on this blog.