Do you still hold the “I am not comfortable with that” card?

Christ wife do you still hold the “I am not comfortable with that” card in your Christian marriage? If you do you need to get rid of it.  Let me explain what I mean.

You might consider yourself to be a wife who believes in submission to your husband.  You may even be able to show proof of your belief by showing times where you and your husband have disagreed on financial decisions or decisions regarding his career where you have simply followed him.

But then you hold on to the “I am not comfortable with that” card especially when it comes to you being asked to do things by him you are not comfortable with.  And we are not talking about things that are clearly outlined as sinful in the Bible like him asking you to commit adultery with another man or to murder someone or steal from someone.  We are talking about things he is asking you to do that are outside your comfort zone.

For instance, what if he decided it was ok for your young teens to watch a TV show or movie you did not think they should watch? What if he allowed them to play a game you think they should not play? And he wanted you to allow them to do these things even when he is away.

On a more personal level, what if he asked you to wear certain clothing in the bed room? What if he asked you to wear certain clothing in public (think going on a date or going to the beach)?  What if he asked you to change your makeup?  What if he asked you to do something uncomfortable in bed?

Do you pull out the “I am not comfortable with that” card as an exception to God’s command to submit to your husband “in everything”? Or have you convinced yourself that you not feeling comfortable with something equals that thing being sinful?  If you have done this you need to remember that God has made your husband your spiritual authority and instructor in his Word.  The Scriptures say to wives in 1 Corinthians 14:35 that “if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home”.

Christian wives, Ephesians 5:24’s command for you to submit to your husband “in every thing” means throwing out your “I am not comfortable with that” card.

8 thoughts on “Do you still hold the “I am not comfortable with that” card?

  1. I think the modern church-goer response would be, “A christian man would never ask his wife to do anything that made her uncomfortable”. What’s sad is that many modern christian men would agree.

  2. It is an euphemism for being ruled and ruling by feelings. After all a woman’s feelings are the result of special urging of the Holy Spirit. Unless one submits to the Lordship of Christ over their feelings they are not free and in bondage to self. Following Christ involves the mortification of the flesh, and that is not comfortable. If you are not comfortable with that kind of dying to self, then you have no reasonable expectation to be resurrected in Christ. Once again marriage is the image of Christ and the church not a Harlequin romance.

  3. As a wife, I agree with article, though I would like to ask for some clarification. I have said in times past and present “I am not comfortable with this,” but I go ahead and do it anyway as happily as I can, without resentments. My husband ia great and can normally tell when I am uncomfortable with something, and will usually address it before I even say anything. Is there something wrong with admitting you are uncomfortable with something, but doing it still to the best of your ability?
    One thing I will have to respectfully disagree with is the whole “wearing something at the beach” thing. I assume, though I could be wrong, that you perhaps are talking about bikinis, which is basically the equivalent to wearing lingerie or stripping in front of another man that is not your husband, and I believe that falls under the “it is better to please God than man.” I will gladly wear whatever he would like for me to wear in private, but there are certain parta of the body made for my husband’s eyes only.

  4. Larry I’ve somewhat realised something. You seem now to be posting quite short articles. I do not mean to be intrusive but do you mind me asking if there’s anything going on? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to. I’m just wondering that’s all.

  5. Max,

    Well it is a combination of things that has prompted me to change my style of posts, at least for the time being. Yes my day job has picked up a bit require more hours in the evening and weekends. Also a bit more going on with family, nothing big, just busy. Also it is because I am having to divide my time more between keeping up with Instagram side of this ministry, as well as the podcast site as well. But I have also been wanting to just write some quick “bite size Biblical truths” for a while. I have actually received a lot of positive feedback on the shorter articles.

  6. @TheEducatedWife No nothing wrong with what you mentioned. You acknowledge its uncomfortable but let your husband know you will still submit if need be. Voice your opinion then let it go, husband takes it in then you submit to his decision. He knows you will joyfully submit regardless.

  7. Husbands should exercise patience and self discipline when she is uncomfortable in her submission. There is always a reason, and by knowing her mind and hearing her concerns you will demonstrate to her that you cherish her. Once you know her mind, if you disagree, tell her. Let her know that you expect she will come eventually submit, but that you will not force her. Rather, you will wait for her.

    I’ve found that when I waited for her, she eventually arrived with a willing and enthusiastic attitude. When I pushed her or demanded obedience, I left her feeling devalued.

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