When we think of a woman being “dirty” outside the literal meaning we will usually think of a woman acting in a sexually inappropriate manner. And while there certainly are whorish women who do act in whorish ways there is another type of dirtiness in women that has nothing to do with a woman acting whorish.
When a woman speaks disrespectfully to her husband or does not show proper deference to her husband, that is her acting in a dirty way toward her husband. When a wife refuses to submit any part of her life to her husband’s spiritual leadership that is her acting in a dirty way. Sometimes it may not be her actions, but it may in fact be her attitudes and beliefs that are dirty.
Christian husbands, to love your wife as Christ loves his church requires that you wash her spiritual spots, wrinkles and blemishes with the Word of God. You are to wash her dirty attitudes, beliefs and actions with the Word of God.
You could liken this to how you might wash your car. You look over that car and make sure every dirt spot and blemish are gone and that it shines so good you can see your reflection in it. It is the same idea with your wife spiritually. After you wash her, her views and behaviors should be a reflection of the things you have taught her from God’s Word.
The washing of your wife requires a combination of knowing her, listening to her, teaching her, correcting her and yes disciplining her. The washing of your wife will sometimes require great sacrifice on your part as the washing of his wife required great sacrifice on the part of Christ. Sometimes it means temporarily sacrificing the peace in your home to rebuke your wife. It might mean sacrificing time you might have spent doing things that were more enjoyable. But it is a sacrifice that is necessary on the part of every Christian husband.
Biblical Gender Roles 
I’m not contending this, but honestly wondering how this works….how can a dirty husband wash a dirty wife?
Is there, perhaps, something akin to acting “in persona Christi?”
Or, since husbands are like Christ and the wife like the church, it’s like Christ washing the disciple’s feet?
Or like the grace that was the tainted woman washing Christ’s feet?
It seems so strange in our times because so few men are spiritually mature, and many in the church simply ride their wife’s coattails.
livingblurredlines,
As to your question “how can a dirty husband wash a dirty wife?”. Contrary to Christian feminist assertions, God had always intended for man to be woman’s head even before sin entered the picture because the relationship between man and woman was designed to reflect the relationship of God to his people. And after the fall, after man and compromised his morals and listened to his wife, God reinforced his intended design and told the woman “he shall rule over thee”(Genesis 3:16). When God tells husbands “love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church”(Ephesians 5:25) he was well aware he was speaking to dirty, sinful men when he said that. And knew that these dirty, sinful men could only wash their wives by depending on the guidance and power of the Holy Spirit.
God was also well aware that some men would not be godly leaders or depend on the Holy Spirit’s guidance and power to properly lead and direct their wives. Yet he still calls wives to submit to such husbands who “obey not the word” in 1 Peter 3:1.
A person, whether it be a Pastor correcting and disciplining his church member living in sin, a father or mother correcting and disciplining their child who has sinned, or a husband correcting and disciplining his wife who has sinned, does not have to be sinless in order to administer the correction and discipline of God. God even calls civil authorities who may not be even be Christians at all “the minister of God to thee for good”. The act of correct and discipline is not an absolution of sin. No person can do that for another person, except God. Christ was the only man who could forgive sin. But while only God can truly forgive sin, he has appointed human beings as his instruments of correction and discipline in all three spheres he has instituted of the family, the church and civil society.
And yes a husband may have many faults and he may even go about correction and discipline in the wrong way sometimes, but God calls wives to submit to their husband’s imperfect teaching, correction and discipline.
And on the subject of spiritual maturity, I would say it is pretty even between Christian men and women today being spiritually immature. I am well aware of the fact that there are more women in church today than men. But that is because of the fact that women have in many ways driven men from the churches by encouraging their Pastors to take feminist positions and because masculinity is so under attack sadly even in churches. I think if you were to take a true spiritual maturity test of most of the women sitting in church pews today you would find they were just as spiritually immature as the men who were not there and perhaps less mature than men who are not there.
That is the sad truth.
@BGR, thanks. That was very clarifying and I appreciate it. I also see your point about church today being so feminized that it appears men are the less spiritual especially when measured against the false litmus test that is modern Christianity.
I wrote last week about my husband being more of a combo of cultural north paganism and some Catholicism, but has since decided to no longer attend church. He allows me to attend a Catholic parish and sometimes comes with me because he still believes in prayer and connecting with God. My comment didn’t seem to get published. I really feel this inner pressure to stop fighting the tide of “acceptable disobedience” that my former conservative evangelical church allowed in that I MUST fight and encourage my husband to fit their mold; that I MUST resist his spiritual leadership because it has some pagan origins (what he embraces in paganism is actually largely supported by the church historically, and is culturally healthy like courageous masculinity, tight-knit community, traditional family models, and trusting one’s life entirely to God/All-Father). I feel that God is calling me to submit to his spiritual authority despite his differences in areas that the church said I ought to “disobey husband to obey God.” No, we’re not going to worship Odin and practice witchcraft, but my husband has a deep spirituality that I’ve largely ignored and fought against because I was told I was in sin if I didn’t. I pass the feminist-influenced modern Christian litmus test, but put me up against the martyred saints of antiquity, and I can guess hubby would more closely resemble them. Maybe he’d grow and blossom in Christ if I stopped stepping in the way of his unique journey.
livinginblurredlines,
I am not sure what happened to your comment, I have looked through and cannot find it. You can try to resubmit it again.
livinginblurredlines,
As I said in my previous comment – God calls women to submit to their husbands who are disobedient to the Word, whether that means they are unbelievers or believers not doing what God has called them to. In other words, your husband does not have to be an evangelical Christian for you to follow his leadership. Think of it another way, do our political leaders have to be evangelical Christians for us to follow their leadership and even support them where they are right? Of course not. So if your husband is supporting traditional family values and traditional ideas of masculinity and femininity, whether he be a Catholic or pagan you can follow him in what matches with a Biblical worldview.
Just to be clear I do submit (not perfectly, of course, but it is my belief to do so). What I am talking about here is spiritual leadership….having him guide and direct his family spiritually. I was told to be the spiritual leader because my way was “right” (followed the church we attended) and his was “wrong.” I’m seeing things differently, now, and I feel that despite his spirituality not being 100% Catholic or 100% Baptist or insert some other mainline Christian denomination, I need to submit to his spiritual leadership so long as he doesn’t tell me to sin. (Though each denomination has their own interpretations as to what is sinful and what isn’t.)
Just an update: hubby has decided to become a philosophical Odinist….meaning he doesn’t believe Odin and all the other Norse gods actually exist, but that there is an All-Father that encompasses all faiths that believe in a high deity, and he follows modern Odinism philosophies that embrace strength of self, traditional families, helping your fellow, and nationalism. So, he has no desire to find or attend a church, anymore. So, what shall I do concerning this and our children? When I married him 20 years ago I never thought I’d be faced with this issue!
@livinginblurredlines
There is solid evidence for Christianity I think that is absent from Philosophical Odinism:
https://www.youtube.com/user/InspiringPhilosophy
There is more apologetics resources you can check out:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCux-_Fze30tFuI_5CArwSmg
livinginblurredlines,
I have written an article addressing your comment. I hope it helps.
https://biblicalgenderroles.com/2020/04/15/my-husband-has-left-the-faith-what-should-i-do/
Yes, wives should be washed when they act out of line or disobey.
We need to be kept in line by our husbands. They are our teachers of their rules within marriage and the rules of God.
He needs to mould us and to train us to follow the right path in our marriage. Once the husband has rebuked the wife, she will be more gentle and loving towards him.