Skip Moen is pretty close to what I would call a “Christian feminist cult leader”. He certainly is not the only major teacher of Christian Feminism, but he definitely has his unique brand of it. Skip Moen might be a loving husband and loving father to his children. I don’t know him personally but I don’t have to know him personally to show that his teachings are not just minor differences of interpretation but they are the very definition of heresy.
So what is this heresy that Skip Moen teaches?
I am not the first Christian to take on Skip Moen’s heresy and I hope I won’t be the last. But one of the best critical reviews of Skip Moen’s work is by Daniel Botkin and he gives a great synopsis of Skip Moen’s false teachings when he writes:
“According to Moen, the wife’s God-ordained role in the marriage, both before and after the Fall, is to be the following things to her husband: his priest and spiritual guide, his spiritual director, his boundary-setter, his confronter and corrector, his chastiser, his protector and guardian, his rescuer, his owner and manager, his shield, his sustainer, his nourisher”
http://restoredcov.org/resources/articles/guardianangel/
Skip Moen in his response to Daniel Botkin’s critical review confirms that Botkin correctly captured the essence of his teaching so we can be assured this is an accurate representation of Skip Moen’s beliefs:
“According to Botkin, “All of Moen’s descriptions of the woman’s role as the husband’s priest and spiritual guide, provider, protector, etc., etc. are derived from his misunderstanding of the ‘ezer kenegdo.” What does Botkin offer in place of my analysis?”
http://skipmoen.com/2014/02/01/a-response-to-daniel-botkins-criticism-of-guardian-angel/
So the heresy of Skip Moen is that he teaches a complete role reversal for men and women than what the Scriptures teach. His entire doctrinal position rests on one passage of Scripture:
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.” – Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
The English phrase “help meet” is a translation of two Hebrew Words “ezer kenegdo”. I previously wrote an entire post on this entitled “What did God mean when he called woman a help meet for man?” where I dive into the meaning “ezer kenegdo” and I showed that this Hebrew phrase literally means “a helper who is man’s opposite”. Check out my post for more on “ezer kenegdo” as well as Daniel Botkin’s excellent rebuttal on the meaning of this Hebrew phrase at http://restoredcov.org/resources/articles/guardianangel/
How Skip Moen wrongly interprets Scripture
The Bible tells us that we need to rightly divide, or discern the Word of God, otherwise we may run the danger of teaching heresy.
“Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth.” – II Timothy 2:15 (KJV)
I love word studies in the Bible. I love studying the Hebrew and Greek languages which are the languages the Bible was originally written in. I love studying the cultural backgrounds of the Scriptures. I love the Old Testament and I think it is just as important as the New. But there is a point where we can take a word by itself and get caught up in what we think it means to the point where we ignore the context of how it used in Scripture.
So here is Skip Moen’s error. He takes what he believes “help meet” or “ezer kenegdo” means and then instead of letting the Scriptures themselves define what God meant by “help meet” he defines it himself. He then takes his warped definition and attempts to twist the entirety of Scripture to fit what he thinks it means.
God defines what “help meet” means for us in the Scriptures
Skip Moen makes the mistake of not realizing that God interprets his own Word. You don’t need a Hebrew lexicon or a degree in Bible doctrine to see that God clearly defines what he meant by calling woman a “help meet” for man.
A help meet is one that realizes she was made to serve her husband, rather than him being made to serve her
“Neither was the man created for the woman; but the woman for the man.” – I Corinthians 11:9 (KJV)
This first principle is where all the preceding commands regarding help meets come from. If a woman rejects this principle, then it is more than likely she will reject many other Biblical commands regarding God’s will and design of woman as a help meet to man.
A help meet is one who regards her husband as her lord and master
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands… For after this manner in the old time the holy women also, who trusted in God, adorned themselves, being in subjection unto their own husbands: Even as Sara obeyed Abraham, calling him lord: whose daughters ye are, as long as ye do well, and are not afraid with any amazement.” – I Peter 3: 1 & 5-6 (KJV)
Because women were made for men as their help meets, they are to regard their husbands as their lords and masters. Sarah, a godly wife, modeled this by calling her husband her lord.
A help meet is one who submits to her husband as the Church submits to Christ
“23 For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. 24 Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in every thing.” – Ephesians 5:23-24 (KJV)
A woman who wants to be the help meet God intended her to be recognizes that God wants her to model her relationship after the relationship of Christ and his Church(with her representing the Church, and her husband representing Christ).
A help meet is one who freely submits not only her will, but also her body to her husband for his pleasure
“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.” – I Corinthians 7:3-4 (KJV)
“Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.” – Proverbs 5:19 (KJV)
A woman when reflecting on the first principle that God made her for her husband – will freely give her body to her husband for his pleasure and comfort.
A help meet keeps herself beautiful for her husband in the same way the Church adorns herself for Christ
“And I John saw the holy city, new Jerusalem, coming down from God out of heaven, prepared as a bride adorned for her husband.” – Revelation 21:2 (KJV)
A woman’s beauty is symbolic of the beauty of the Church. In the same way that the Church adorns herself for her husband, so too Christian wives ought to adorn themselves for their husbands.
A help meet keeps her husband’s home and bears his children
“That they may teach the young women… To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.” – Titus 2:4-5 (KJV)
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.” – I Timothy 5:14 (KJV)
“She looketh well to the ways of her household, and eateth not the bread of idleness.” – Proverbs 31:27 (KJV)
Two of her primary duties as a help meet to man is for a woman to bear children and manage the domestic affairs of the home.
A help meet will not bring shame to her husband
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones.” – Proverbs 12:4 (KJV).
When a woman speaks disrespectfully to her husband or acts in ways that make her husband ashamed it is as rottenness in his bones. Instead a woman that praises her husband and respects her husband is his crown.
A help meet will not constantly contend or be angry with her husband
“It is better to dwell in the wilderness, than with a contentious and an angry woman.” – Proverbs 21:19
When a woman is contentious and is constantly arguing with her husband and bucking his every decision or holding grudges against him and being angry with him this is the opposite of God’s intent for her as his help meet. A woman who is surrendered to the Spirit of God and his design for her as a help meet will not be a nag to her husband.
A help meet is one who has a meek and quiet spirit toward her husband
“Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands… Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price.” – I Peter 1 & 3-4 (KJV)
While a help meet should keep herself beautiful for her husband, her greatest beauty is that of her inner self, her meek and quiet spirit toward her husband.
A help meet is one who is affectionate toward her husband
“That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands…” – Titus 2:4(KJV)
A woman in her role as a help meet to her husband will not only submit to and obey him, but she will also be affectionate towards him.
A help meet is one who has her husband’s trust
“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.” – Proverbs 31:10-12 (KJV)
A godly wife, a wife who is fulfilling her duty as a help meet to her husband will always have his back. He can trust that she will never betray him. A wife in her duty as a help meet should be her husband’s greatest cheerleader.
A help meet is one who offers her husband godly counsel
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.” – Proverbs 14:1 (KJV)
“She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.” – Proverbs 31:26 (KJV)
“As a jewel of gold in a swine’s snout, so is a fair woman which is without discretion.” – Proverbs 11:22 (KJV)
A wife who is exercising her role as the help meet God intended her to be will speak wise and godly counsel to her husband, but she we also practice discretion in knowing when to speak and when to hold her tongue.
A help meet is one who listens to her husband’s Godly counsel
“And if they will learn any thing, let them ask their husbands at home: for it is a shame for women to speak in the church.” – I Corinthians 14:35 (KJV)
While women should learn from their Pastors and other godly women as well, the first person they should look to for spiritual guidance is their husband if he is a believer. A woman who is constantly going behind her husband’s back seeking counsel that will contradict her husband’s spiritual teaching is going against God’s design for her as a help meet to her husband.
A help meet is one who submits to and receives her husband’s chastisement and correction
“But he said unto her, Thou speakest as one of the foolish women speaketh. What? shall we receive good at the hand of God, and shall we not receive evil? In all this did not Job sin with his lips.” – Job 2:10 (KJV)
“And Jacob’s anger was kindled against Rachel: and he said, Am I in God’s stead, who hath withheld from thee the fruit of the womb?” – Genesis 30:2 (KJV)
“21 And David said unto Michal, It was before the Lord, which chose me before thy father, and before all his house, to appoint me ruler over the people of the Lord, over Israel: therefore will I play before the Lord. 22 And I will yet be more vile than thus, and will be base in mine own sight: and of the maidservants which thou hast spoken of, of them shall I be had in honour. 23 Therefore Michal the daughter of Saul had no child unto the day of her death.” – II Samuel 6:21-23 (KJV)
A women in her role as help meet will humbly accept the rebuke or correction of her husband when he sees sinful behavior in her life.
A help meet is one who looks to her husband for nourishment and protection
“So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church:” – Ephesians 5:28-29 (KJV)
While the modern meaning of the English word “cherish” has romantic connotations, the Greek that this word is translated from has the idea of protection. A wife in her role as help meet will depend on her husband and will look to him for nourishment and protection as the Church depends on Christ for its nourishment and protection.
Conclusion
As we can see from God’s Word – Skip Moen’s teaching that “the wife’s God-ordained role in the marriage, both before and after the Fall, is to be the following things to her husband: his priest and spiritual guide, his spiritual director, his boundary-setter, his confronter and corrector, his chastiser, his protector and guardian, his rescuer, his owner and manager, his shield, his sustainer, his nourisher” is heresy plain and simple.
In fact it would be correct to say that it is the complete OPPOSITE of what God’s Word teaches about the roles of men and women as God designed them to be.
If you read all the Scripture passages I have cited above – this what the truth of God’s Word actually is:
The husband’s God-ordained role in the marriage, both before and after the Fall, is to be the following things to his wife: HER spiritual guide, HER spiritual director, HER boundary-setter, HER confronter and corrector, HER chastiser, HER protector and guardian, HER rescuer, HER owner and manager, HER shield, HER sustainer, HER nourisher
Pray that God will raise up strong men to combat this wickedness that is creeping into our homes. God speaks of men like Skip Moen who are “Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth.”
“For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts, Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. “ – II Timothy 3:6-7 (KJV)
How many “silly women” have been led astray by Skip Moen’s teachings? The answer is far too many. God gives us our battle plan against such false teachers when he tells us to:
“Preach the word; be instant in season, out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all long suffering and doctrine. For the time will come when they will not endure sound doctrine; but after their own lusts shall they heap to themselves teachers, having itching ears; And they shall turn away their ears from the truth, and shall be turned unto fables.” – II Timothy 4:2-4 (KJV)
“Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong.” – I Corinthians 16:13 (NASB)
Pray that God will raise up a new generation of Godly preachers and husbands who will take back our homes and Churches for God and rid this poisonous Christian feminist teaching from our midst.
Biblical Gender Roles 
I haven’t read the book and I’m unfamiliar with Skip Moen, but that list of things wives are allegedly supposed to provide is a concept I’ve seen in other places too. What always strikes me is how emotionally burdensome that is for women, how cruel actually. To expect women to raise kids, to sometimes work outside the home, and to now become the spiritual leaders for their husbands, is to put way too much responsibility on us. With responsibility comes authority…but also blame. Women these days are having enough trouble trying to juggle all the demands being placed on us. Also, you simply cannot lead and submit at the same time. Women have many opportunities to lead in other ways, to encourage husbands certainly, but responsible for their spiritual development?? That doesn’t even sound healthy.
“the husband’s God-ordained role in the marriage, both before and after the Fall, is to be the following things to his wife: HER spiritual guide, HER spiritual director, HER boundary-setter, HER confronter and corrector, HER chastiser, HER protector and guardian, HER rescuer, HER owner and manager, HER shield, HER sustainer, HER nourisher”…….well, what the hell do I need God for…apparently my husband is my god, king and savior…
Sandy,
A husband is a flawed and sinful human being, just as his wife is a flawed and sinful human being. A husband is not the king or governor of your country, but it would be Biblical to say that a husband is “the king of his castle” – his home. No human authority is absolute, whether it is the president, a governor, a mayor, a police officer or our manager at our job. A husband is no exception to this rule, his authority also has boundaries and is not absolute. A husband cannot tell his wife to break the speed limit – this is rightly under the authority sphere of civil government. When we are participating in church activities or the assembly of the church – church authorities have control over that realm as in what is taught in their church Sunday school classes or how people will dress and conduct themselves on church activities.
But in the realm of the home the husband has the authority given him by God to set what the children will be taught and what the family beliefs are. While a wife may think differently on certain issues and she can certainly bring those things to her husband’s attention, ultimately she must follow his lead in public and with the children. A husband is responsible to discipline those under his authority including his children and his wife. What that discipline looks like for his children verses his wife will look different, but discipline needs to be there. A husband is responsible to protect his family from both physical dangers and spiritual dangers. He is responsible to provide for the physical and spiritual needs of his family.
So why do we need God? Because our governments will fail us. Our church leaders will fail us. Even husbands will fail wives and wives will fail their husbands. Because we are failed and sinful creatures ourselves. But God never fails us, he is always there for us. He is our unfailing source of love, guidance and protection.
“My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever.” – Psalm 73:26
That list that I gave of things about a husband are things a husband “should be” to his wife, but no man has ever perfectly been all those things at all times, some men fail to be any of these things to their wives. In the same way a wives do not perfectly fulfill all the roles that God has given them. It is not about perfection – only God is perfect. It is about striving to do the things God has commanded us to do – we each have our role to play.
Unfortunately, Skip Moen is not the only Christian teaching this upside down view of men and women in marriage. Ken Nair teaches that women are to be “revealer of sin” to their husbands. Thus, the women supplants the Holy Spirit and the husbands leadership role. He also encourages men submitting to their wives part of the time.
“http://www.amazon.com/Discovering-Mind-Woman-Becoming-Irresistible/dp/0785278117/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1442153226&sr=1-1&keywords=Discovering+the+Mind+of+a+Woman
Gary Thomas writes Christian books and in this book he encourages wives to be tools of spiritual growth in their husbands. That is ok, I have learned a lot from my wife, but he has no other book that encourages wives to be shaped and learn from their husbands.
http://www.garythomas.com/books/sacred-influence/
Most Christian pastors seem to be afraid of men leading their families.
I have not read either of these books but have relied on reviews by people that have read Ken Nair’s book.
Are there any mega-churches in the U.S. today that teach that wives must submit to their husbands? What about the preachers on TV in the U.S.?